Monday, November 22, 2010

What's Between My Legs Is None Of Your Business

Friday night while I was compiling a post I had a Barbara Summers of Columbus, Ohio hit me up for a chat on Facebook.

I like online chats with people and find them enjoyable when I have the time to do so.  Since the profile stated in their words this person was 'a genetic girl who supports transgender people',   I was interested in hearing what she had to say and paused what I was doing to take a few moments to listen.

On this one, should have followed my instincts and ignored it.

Five minutes into the chat she asked me if I'm pre or post op.   I believe that far too much time is spent being fixated on what's between a trans person's legs and not what's between the trans person's ears. 

Not enough time is spent determining the content of the transperson's character, either.

So what was Barbara Summers' response after I politely told her it was none of her business and explained why my genital status not a topic of discussion?

She 'unfriended' me.

See ya.   I have over 1000 Facebook friends.   Leaves more room for the peeps who really do want to be there.   Wouldn't be surprised it this fauxgressive person was one of those trans chasers who hide behind fake femme profiles but who after talking to them for a few moments reveal themselves to be anything but female

It's one of the things that irritates many transpeople as we're trying to live our lives and interact in society.  Yes, we realize that we are all ambassadors for our community and there's a lot of intriguing things you'd like to know about our lives.   In some cases we're glad to share as much as we feel personally comfortable with.

But asking about the genitalia between our legs when we're not in an educational setting is going too far into personal territory.    I don't answer that question even in my Trans 101 presentations because it's past time to shift the discussion of trans issues and trans people away from genitalia.  .

If you cis people don't define yourselves by your genitalia, why are you forcing a 'biology is destiny' standard on transpeople that reject for yourselves?

My good friend Laurie Cicotello posted this in the ensuing comment thread on my FB page talking about the incident that sums up this subject.

Thing is, while many people have surgery, there are also many people who cannot have the surgery for a plethora of reasons from financial to physical. We need to love and accept people for who they are and where they are in their life path.

What's more important is the person's character.    If the emergence of transpeople hasn't taught society anything else, it's that  when it comes to humankind,  Mother Nature doesn't operate with a nice neat gender binary.    She likes diversity of the species and when you're talking about trans people the level of diversity can be downright dizzying at times.

So unless you're about to get intimate with me, enter into a long term relationship or hand me a wedding ring, what's between my legs is none of your business.

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