Tuesday, November 09, 2010

A Simple Guide For Understanding Conservafools

For those of you on the liberal-progressive side still in shock over the Alice In Wonderland election we just experienced, the road to taking back our country comes from understanding our enemy.

Here's a simple guide to understanding conservafools and whacking low information conservative voters at the same time.

1.  Business uber Alles
2.  They 'hate freedom' for minorities to vote against them and compete with them for jobs
3.  They hate education because it creates enlightened citizens that will see through the GOP propaganda
4.  Tax cuts for Paris Hilton and friends will magically fuel an economic boom for the rest of us
5.  Health care is not a right, but greed is good HMO's gouging us for piss poor health care is
6.  If our leadership ain't conservative and white, it ain't all right
7.  Immigration good if it comes from Europe, bad if it comes from anywhere else
8.  Women need to be back at home havin' babies so we can stay in the majority population
9.   We don't need no stinkin' science unless it's creating military weapons

10. Creating jobs in America bad, creating jobs overseas for corporate tax breaks good
11. Regulations for business bad,.regulations for people's bedrooms good
12. 'Real Americans' in cities bad. 'Real Americans' in suburbs good
13. Free speech for individual citizens bad.  Free speech (AKA money for ads) for corporations good
14. 'Religious freedom' means I can be as racist, sexist, homophobic and transphobic as I wish and wrap myself in the Bible while doing so
15  Intelligence in a Democratic leader bad...Stupidity in a Republican leader good
16. Minorities are stupid for voting overwhelmingly against Republicans who screw them, but white people voting overwhelmingly for Republicans who screw them is 'taking our country back'.
17.  'Voter fraud' is minorities and liberals voting in large numbers for Democrats
18.  'Liberal media' is any news outlet criticizing conservatives
19.  'Activist judges' are ones making rulings that go against corporations, upholds or creates new civil rights law.
20.   A 'racist' is a person of color slamming 'whiteness', white supremacy' or the societal unfairness brought on by them

Feel free to come up with more in the comment thread  ;)

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