TransGriot Note: Author Pamela Hayes graces us with more of her observations about trans life.
A few weeks ago, a trans woman asked me if I thought trans women were
shady. She said when she started her transformation, she needed
information about where to get hormones, electrolysis, everything trans.
She said that a trans woman who was firmly ensconced in her transition
could have been helpful, but wouldn‘t lift a hand to assist her.
I’ve
heard that story a million times. “Erica” is a trans woman who was/is
gorgeous, with a shapely figure, mountains of thick hair, ample boobs
brought on by a daily dose of hormones. Erica was a knockout. She had
the looks of a supermodel.
But her deep, mannish voice
marred her good looks. Her voice told her story. She’d go in a store and
clerks would smile warmly and say, “Yes, ma’am, can I help you?”
In
a whisper, Erica would state her business and the clerks would start
frowning and go whisper something in the ear of another clerk.
Now,
Erica‘s best girlfriend in the whole wide world, “Cathy” had a deep
voice and she commissioned a doctor to do a procedure called voice
modification surgery, which made Cathy’s deep voice light and feminine
and helped with her self-esteem and made passing easier. Erica asked
Cathy who did the surgery. Cathy vehemently denied having had anything
done. According to Cathy, she took hormones and one morning, she woke up
with a feminine voice.
Of course, Cathy is full of shit. I
know from experience, surgery will soften your voice. But surgery
doesn’t feminize your voice.
But why wouldn’t Cathy share
the voice modification tip? Cathy was insecure and she didn’t want other
trans women learning about voice modification because it would improve
them and they may surpass Cathy.
In my opinion, Cathy’s
behavior doesn’t make her shady. It shows that she’s insecure and there
are plenty of natal women who are like that.
They’ll
prepare a mouth-watering entrée, which receives rave reviews and if
someone asks her for the recipe, she’ll claim that she pried the recipe
out of a dear friend, who gave it to her on the condition that she not
breath a word to anyone.
Or she'll claim it’s a family recipe. When in truth, she could have gotten it out of Woman’s World or Good Housekeeping. I’ve
dealt with many women who pull these stunts. Or if she gives up the
recipe, she'll omit one or two ingredients, which can drastically change
the taste of the final product.
Women will go to a gifted
colorist and if another woman says, “Oh, your hair looks wonderful. Who
did it?” She’ll claim she did it herself or she went out of town and
had it done.
So, you see trans women are no shadier than anyone else. I think they (we) are certainly more insecure.
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