Saturday, April 30, 2011

Pam's Ponderings-Why Are Transwomen So Shady?

TransGriot Note:  Author Pamela Hayes graces us with more of her observations about trans life.

A few weeks ago, a trans woman asked me if I thought trans women were shady. She said when she started her transformation, she needed information about where to get hormones, electrolysis, everything trans. She said that a trans woman who was firmly ensconced in her transition could have been helpful, but wouldn‘t lift a hand to assist her.

I’ve heard that story a million times. “Erica” is a trans woman who was/is gorgeous, with a shapely figure, mountains of thick hair, ample boobs brought on by a daily dose of hormones. Erica was a knockout. She had the looks of a supermodel.

But her deep, mannish voice marred her good looks. Her voice told her story. She’d go in a store and clerks would smile warmly and say, “Yes, ma’am, can I help you?”

In a whisper, Erica would state her business and the clerks would  start frowning and go whisper something in the ear of another clerk.

Now, Erica‘s best girlfriend in the whole wide world, “Cathy” had a deep voice and she commissioned a doctor to do a procedure called voice modification surgery, which made Cathy’s deep voice light and feminine and helped with her self-esteem and made passing easier. Erica asked Cathy who did the surgery. Cathy vehemently denied having had anything done. According to Cathy, she took hormones and one morning, she woke up with a feminine voice.

Of course, Cathy is full of shit. I know from experience, surgery will soften your voice. But surgery doesn’t feminize your voice.

But why wouldn’t Cathy share the voice modification tip? Cathy was insecure and she didn’t want other trans women learning about voice modification because it would improve them and they may surpass Cathy.

In my opinion, Cathy’s behavior doesn’t make her shady. It shows that she’s insecure and there are plenty of natal women who are like that.

They’ll prepare a mouth-watering entrée, which receives rave reviews and if someone asks her for the recipe, she’ll claim that she pried the recipe out of a dear friend, who gave it to her on the condition that she not breath a word to anyone.

Or she'll claim it’s a family recipe. When in truth, she could have gotten it out of Woman’s World or Good Housekeeping. I’ve dealt with many women who pull these stunts. Or if she gives up the recipe, she'll omit one or two ingredients, which can drastically change the taste of the final product.

Women will go to a gifted colorist and if another woman says, “Oh, your hair looks wonderful. Who did it?” She’ll claim she did it herself or she went out of town and had it done.

So, you see trans women are no shadier than anyone else. I think they (we) are certainly more insecure.

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