Thursday, April 07, 2011

Pam's Ponderings-Are You A Lady Or Freak Of The Week?

TransGriot Note:  heeeres author Pamela Hayes!

Over the years, I have frequently heard trans women gush about how this or that man admired her. “Ooh, girl, I can tell by how he looks at me that he wants me.” I’ve heard that one a million times.

I’ve had men to look at me like I was the most stunning creature he ever laid eyes on. Some have seen me and broke into a massive smile. Some have sucked in their stomachs. Become tongue-tied. Got a faraway expression on his face. I guess he was wondering how I looked au naturel or what it would be like to screw me.

Most of the aforesaid transpired when I was younger. But even at my current age, I still get gobs of attention from the opposite sex and some men get giddy or shy in my presence. And go out of their way to help me with this or that.

And many of the guys are younger. And I wonder about that. I’m not retirement age; and I’m not springtime either. I was under the impression that most men wanted young, nubile women. Not women who were old enough to be their mamas or aunties.

I wonder if some of these handsome, young, muscular studs who have checked me out and get goofy in my presence have an Oedipal complex. Well, I have no interest in being no young man’s Jocasta.

But some trans girls and natal ones too place too much importance on a guy looking at her with lust or desire.

Big deal.

The dude thought you were hot.

But look at the big picture. Would be willing to have a meaningful relationship with you? Take you around his family and friends? If he was married or had a serious girlfriend, would he divorce/dump her for you?

Would he openly date you?

I urge all trans women to NOT place so much significance on a man ogling her. Yeah, they want you sexually. But he doesn’t want you like he wants his wife or his fiancée.

Men want and enjoy looking at beautiful women. And if he knows a woman is trans, you elicited his curiosity. He wonders if you are proficient at sucking dick. Remember, they always say that natal women are all teeth. And many believe that we t-girls are gifted at performing fellatio. Some men go to gay men for a good blow job. And in some of those guys minds, trans women are glorified gay men.

And he can do the nasty with her and not feel like he has some queer in him.

Mind you, not all men think like this. But many of them do. I’ve been a trans woman for over three decades and I’ve learned plenty in that time. For the most part, men see trans girls as something to fuck. A unique diversion.

I’ve met men and five minutes later, if that, they tried to get me to go out to a car with them. Some of them made goo-goo eyes at me and I was suppose to run to him and suggest a sexual romp.

Please. Be aware, girls. I know some of this is repetitive, but I can’t say it often enough.

If you don’t mind being objectified and viewed as freak of the week, go for it. Satisfy some guy’s desire to have sex with a t-girl.

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