One of the things about being trans before we finally come out to the world is the shame and guilt aspect of it that has us at times living a life in the shadows. In many cases that continues for some of us even after transition because we wish to avoid the drama of being out and confronting head on the nastiness of society.
Many of us do an excellent job of learning how to hide, who to avoid, what not to say around certain people, trying to live as clandestine as possible, et cetera.
But in the process of learning how to hide, we forget that we need to learn how to live as well. . We spend so much time wrapped up in perfecting keeping our trans lives on the down low that we unwittingly in some cases take a lot of those traits into our new post transition lives
The seriousness and fierce urgency we feel in terms of becoming and being the persons on the outside we know we are on the inside simply adds to the dilemma.
It's past time to exhale, take a deep breath and fearlessly take the plunge into learning how to live our post transition lives. Once we make the gender based adjustments, get comfortable with our morphing bodies and adjust to the gender based societal roles we find ourselves in we have to do just as much or even more work on the internal workings of a gender change.
While we transpeeps always have to be combat ready advocates for our community at times, when we step off the societal gender binary battlefield, like any soldiers fighting a war, we need R&R.
We must take time to laugh, cry, hang out with friends and have some interests besides just dealing with trans issues and our personal transitions.
It's time for us to simply learn how to live