I Am Not Looking For Sex

TransGriot Note:  Y'all asked for her, you got her.   More musings from author Pamela Hayes


I Am Not Looking For Sex
by Pamela Hayes




Recently, I posted pictures of myself in various forums online. For years, I have been posting essays about my experiences as a trans woman and a number of people requested pictures. I guess they were curious about my appearance. So, I posted images of myself.

A number of men have invited me out to eat. Have asked for my phone number. Gave me their phone numbers. People are intrigued by transsexuals and I get it. I understand the questions . . . questions that seem probing. I am not bothered by their curiosity. I don’t mind enlightening people.

Some of the emails have been offensive. One man wrote that he wasn’t gay, but that he was curious about sex with a transsexual. He sent me photographs of himself. In a few, he was fully clothed and some were of his penis--soft and erect. I sent the pictures to the cyber wastebasket. And I didn’t respond to him.

A few days later, he wrote saying that he wanted us to get together, repeating that he wondered about sex with a transsexual. He said he wanted me to take him somewhere he had never been.

I am not remotely flattered by this. I find it offensive.

I posted some pics of myself to let people know what I look like and to make some online friends. I have enjoyed some of my exchanges with people. They have been entertaining and informative. I’ve learned about books. Movies. One guy is interested in writing and he sent me some of his work and he’s damn GOOD.

But some assholes have assumed that I’m online trying to get laid.

And that is untrue.  Nowhere did I say or even insinuate that I was looking for no-strings sex.

Those pictures are not the least bit suggestive. I’m clad in casual attire, wearing minimal makeup. Which is what I always do. I wasn’t wearing some cheesy get-up from Victoria’s Secret. 

So why did some men think I was out to get picked up?

And if I was in the market for recreational sex, I wouldn’t be interested in carrying on with a man who told me that he was curious about me. Imagine, being in a sexual situation with a person who wants to experiment with you. Hey, I’m not a laboratory animal.

And to the curious guys who want to try out a transsexual, contact an escort service. For a fee, someone will help you out.