Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Love Can Be Hard For A Transwoman To Find

Valentine's Day is one that can be hard on single people and especially single transpeeps. 

We are not only surrounded by cisgender couples gay and straight expressing their love for each other, we're drowned in an avalanche of romantic movies, songs, radio and television commercials in the weeks leading up to it.

It's a day for romance that for many of us won't result in someone leaving us heart shaped boxes of chocolate, presents, gifts of jewelry, stuffed animals, getting flowers delivered to our addresses, a sentimental call from a person we describe as our sweethearts or a marriage proposal from the person we love.

As I wrote in a Valentine's Day post last year, I've been wandering in the dating Sinai for so long the Israelites passed me a few times on their way to the Promised Land and shook their heads.

The approach of this day also has me at times pondering my dating history pre-transition as well as what I will and will not tolerate in a relationship just to say I have a significant other.  I have high standards and I will not water them down under any circumstances, even if it means I could possibly be alone for the rest of my life.  

What makes Valentine's Day and weddings so painful at times for me is that
unlike some transwomen, I've actually had the experience of being a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding.

So near, but yet so far away from it actually happening for me.  

While there is a possibility it can still happen for me as one of my guest commentators Pamela Hayes reminded me (who is one of my transsisters who is happily married) when I talked about it on my Facebook page, I'm not holding my breath either. 

I'm also quite aware of the fact that with each birthday I celebrate, my already long odds for doing so dwindle in terms of making that romantic happy ending happen for me.  

But if it does, I'll be happily writing the 'I Was Wrong' post for that one

After the honeymoon, of course.  

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