Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Time To Go To War Over The 'Bathroom Predator' Meme 1

One of the things I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired about is the 'bathroom predator' meme.

It needs to be aggressively pimp slapped into oblivion by not only the trans community, but our allies as well.

Since my motto is if you want something done right, you have to sometimes do it yourself,  I'm going to start that campaign with me responding to a recent comment from New York Black Beauty on my 'Tired Of The Bathroom Bill BS post..

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safety is the biggest concern for me and, i imagine, most non-trans women. i personally wouldn't object to trans-women using the women's bathroom, but from what i've heard & read about the various equality issues regarding public bathrooms, it seems like the onus of bathroom equality always falls on us:

1. we have to accept trans-men who present as men in women's bathrooms for their safety;
2. because it's difficult to tell who is what, we have to accept people who are noticeably biologically male & present as women whether they are trans or not; and
3. we have to accept lesbians who present as men without question

maybe all of the above are ok, and i just don't understand the issues very well.

question: do you think the law will lead to coed locker rooms & multi-stall bathrooms as some predict? would they be the best solution to all of the bathroom equality issues?

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I'm going to respond to this in sections...

safety is the biggest concern for me and, i imagine, most non-trans women. i personally wouldn't object to trans-women using the women's bathroom, but from what i've heard & read about the various equality issues regarding public bathrooms, it seems like the onus of bathroom equality always falls on us:


Safety is the biggest concern driving this issue for us transwomen as well.   Whether you know this or not or even care, we inherited the same societal drama that all female bodied people have to deal with.

We're also tired of the disinformation driving the fear that many ciswomen have about transpeople and the porcelain throne room..

I'd also submit your statement about the onus of bathroom equality falling on ciswomen is incorrect.  One of the things that is stressed in any reputable gender program and even cross dressing seminars is bathroom etiquette.  Crossdressers have it relentlessly drilled into them at gender conferences and group meetings when they are dressed en femme to sit down to pee, not stand up.  We transwomen have been taught to get in and get out as quickly as possible with the goal of causing as little disruption as possible.


Transwomen have been using women's bathrooms without incident since 1953.   Gay and closeted men however, have been making the news for years about their various bathoom peccadilloes.    It's also not surprising that an openly gay congressmember created that 'penis in showers' myth to begin with as a straw man argument in the 90's to keep us from getting included in ENDA.


The only times we transpeople have drama revolving around the bathroom is when it is inflicted upon us by misguided cispeople, not the other way around.


1. we have to accept trans-men who present as men in women's bathrooms for their safety; 


Transmen use the men's restrooms as they transition, not the women's ones.

2. because it's difficult to tell who is what, we have to accept people who are noticeably biologically male & present as women whether they are trans or not; and 

And your problem with that is what?    There are more than a few cisgender women with nonstandard gender presentation who have the same genitalia between their legs as you presumably do.    



3. we have to accept lesbians who present as men without question 

If you have a problem with that New York Black Beauty, civil rights laws say yes you do.  Lesbians are still women who have to deal with natural body functions on a regular basis even if they have a non standard gender presentation.   We've had some disturbing incidents of such as Khadijah Farmer and Tanya White being tossed out of women's bathrooms by ignorant people.

maybe all of the above are ok, and i just don't understand the issues very well. 

There's too much disinformation about us feeding the fear, ignorance and the transphobia and homophobia.   Transwomen are women, period.   Unlike you, our brains, gender ID and bodies didn't match at birth and we have to make it happen later in life..


Transwomen aren't looking for a date when we go to the bathroom.  We're in there to pee, check our presentation and leave.



question: do you think the law will lead to coed locker rooms & multi-stall bathrooms as some predict? would they be the best solution to all of the bathroom equality issues?

Which law are you referring to?     Locker rooms for obvious reasons are still going to be gender segregated.  Having gender neutral bathrooms would be a start.   But since were in a recession, not holding my breath that's going to happen anytime with increasing frequency any time soon.










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