Sunday, April 05, 2015

Countdown To Cuatro De Mayo 2015

With the passage of April 4, the countdown starts for me to Cuatro De Mayo, AKA my birthday which is now 29 days away.

I love birthdays, because it is the one day on the calendar in which you can legitimately say is your personal holiday to celebrate as you wish.

Birthdays are days of celebration as well in which you revel in the satisfaction of surviving another 365 days (366 in a leap year) on this space rock.

And as a trans woman of color, it is a revolutionary act for me to be celebrating a birthday at an age that is well past our sad trans WOC life expectancy of 35 years of age.

With the rapid approach of another birthday, I tend to fall into introspective mode and analyze my life over the last 12 months.  I look at what things I did well, the stuff that was a disaster that I can learn lessons from, and the areas in which I can improve.

I try not to be too hard on myself during that 29 days I'm analyzing my life, but it happens that sometimes I'm more critical about some of the things that happened in the preceding twelve months that is necessary.

And yes, it's a process that ensures I don't get  'Big Head Syndrome' as I become more well known for my human rights activism.  

Then again I have people in my inner circle of friends who make it their job to ensure they are standing by with the needles that keep me at the proper level of humility about the blessings I've received in return for fighting for the human rights of a marginalized community. 

I'm blessed to have a group of friends across different age groups that have no problem keeping me grounded in reality, giving me the motivational kick in the butt when necessary, a hug when I feel down, or giving me sound advice when I need it.

And yes, I'm cognizant of the fact I'm considered a possibility model by people inside and outside our community.  I also take time during this introspective countdown to my birthday in contemplating proper self-care.  I strive to balance the demands of that public role with making space for living my life when I'm not on the trans human rights clock

The end result of this process is that when May 4 rolls around again, I want to be in a better position to be the best human being I can be.  

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