And This Is Why Your Parents Taught You Never To Talk Back

The troll I nuked in this post is probably setting off Geiger counters in a 5 mile radius at this time, but we aren't done dropping more megatonnage of knowledge on him.

Since Johan Baumeister called Denny's name in vain in the comment on the What Gay Marriage WON'T Do guest post he wrote, I thought Mr. Upkins should be extended another invitation to guest post at TransGriot in order to respond to his critic.

Duck and cover people, it's Denny's turn now.   You can also check out his wonderful writing at his blog The Chronicle.

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So not surprisingly, yours truly has caught a lot of heat since speaking out on the over-emphasis of Gay Marriage to the detriment of LGBTQ rights. Most recently some troll decided to disrespect Monica Roberts' space and spew some ignorant bile. While my girl dropped the 50 megatons of knowledge on that peon, you know I couldn't let this stand.

While I had a much grander post calling out these Gay Marriage Apologists, I'll hold that off for another day. For now, I'm going to have fun with what's left of this peon.


I understand that there is justification for criticism of the marriage-centric "equality" movement.

But a few points for you:

1) Don't eat your allies. It makes them not want to be our allies in the first place.

2) Don't assume you know what someone else's oppression is (like you did in your second-to-last paragraph) and then simultaneously (and justifiably) criticize them for assuming what your oppression is. It undermines all the actual, reality-based points of your argument.

3) I don't think I've heard a single person say gay marriage will fix everything.

I've heard some racist, ignorant shit from twinky, privileged, white cis-boys in WeHo. I've also heard some ignorant shit here. I get you're hurt, and left behind or left out of a lot of what the "movement" talks about.

The solution isn't to tear others down.

*SMDH* Some motherf*ckers are always trying to ice skate uphill.

Okay let's break this down.....shall we?

I understand that there is justification for criticism of the marriage-centric "equality" movement.

And you should've just stopped right here. It would've spared you the embarrassment that you're about to endure.

1) Don't eat your allies. It makes them not want to be our allies in the first place.

Boo-Boo, if they can be scared off, then they aren't allies to begin with. Contrary to popular misbelief, equal rights was never about getting the privileged majority to love and accept the minority. It's about ensuring that minorities have the same equal rights and protection under the law regardless of what the majority thinks of us. Calling out allies and demanding better is not only needed but encouraged, it quickly exposes which allies are involved in our spaces for the right reasons and which ones have ulterior motives.

Which is why legions of white folks lost their minds when I didn't cosign on their self-congratulatory circle jerk of changing their avatars to the HRC symbol. I didn’t hear any discussions of taking actual steps help LGBTQs or hell even push the gay marriage agenda. It was a bunch of straight white people straight splaining to queer folks how homophobia works, grinning from ear to ear, flaunting their Special Ally Medals. Kinda like this guy here:

If you're patting yourself on the back when you have done absolutely nothing, you're right you're going to be eaten alive and ripped to shreds, because your kind of help, we don't need.


2) Don't assume you know what someone else's oppression is (like you did in your second-to-last paragraph) and then simultaneously (and justifiably) criticize them for assuming what your oppression is. It undermines all the actual, reality-based points of your argument.

And you should probably take your own advice and not assume that you're qualified to whitesplain to me about oppression and what I've gone through or the other battles POCs and trans folks have endured that white gays wouldn't begin to fathom. Seeing as you can't be bothered to take your own advice, you might want to not dispense with it.

And speaking of points I made. I noticed you didn't address any of them aside from spewing mindless rhetoric and lining up straw men. I see what you did there.


3) I don't think I've heard a single person say gay marriage will fix everything.

Wow and if you didn't hear it, ergo it didn't happen. Arrogant and deluded much. Pro-tip, you may want to read here and see where you are frakking up something fierce. Take a moment and thoroughly read #7.


I've heard some racist, ignorant shit from twinky, privileged, white cis-boys in WeHo.

Oh Boo-Boo, don't count yourself out. You were saying some ignorant shit too.

I've also heard some ignorant shit here.

Well yes, said ignorant shit are YOUR comments.

I get you're hurt, and left behind or left out of a lot of what the "movement" talks about.

Oh yes, the classic derail where the minority's emotional state is brought up.

This is one of the biggest derailing tactics white people like to use. They like to shame minorities for being angry, hurt or emotional for being oppressed and then pass themselves off as cool and objective and logical as opposed to us over-emotional feeble-minded coloreds. Like whites are being completely objective when it comes to a system of oppression that favors them.

First and foremost, if someone is calling you out on your racism, privilege and/or homophobia, citing their emotional state does not negate the point they’re making nor does it absolve you of the bigotry that you’re displaying. Secondly, unless your name is Charles Xavier, Emma Frost, or Deanna Troi, you’re not qualified to judge my emotional state online.

Third, accusing someone of being angry, hurt, or whatever is about as relevant to the callout of someone’s bigotry as it is commenting on the color of someone’s apparel.

Denny: That was really homophobic dude.
Bigot: You’re wearing a blue shirt.
Denny: Yeah but that was still homophobic.

And if I was angry or hurt? Your point would be what? Why is that a sin? Minorities should be angry and hurt over the denigration they endure everyday.Furthermore, rather than victim blaming and policing the emotional state of minorities, if white folks were REALLY concerned about our emotional state, they would address the actual bigotry that’s angering/hurting minorities in the first place.

Obviously.

Toni Morrison said it best, “I'm always annoyed about why black people have to bear the brunt of everybody else's contempt. If we are not totally understanding and smiling, suddenly we're demons.”

The solution isn't to tear others down.

Tear others down. I didn't realize calling out injustice is tearing others down. Notice the troll didn't say I was wrong or point out how I was factually in correct. In fact they conceded that there is justification to the criticism on the white supremacist agenda that gay marriage has become. So they in essence invalidated their succeeding points.

You see many whites seem to be under this misguided impression that POCs are supposed to blindly follow whatever self-serving agenda they thrust upon us. Like we're enslaved to them.

But see we've been here and done that. This is what happened back in 2008. Whites once again pushed gay marriage as the end-all-be-all issue to the detriment of real issues plaguing LGBTQs. More than that they pushed a piss-poor gay marriage campaign in spite of warnings from queer activists of color. Prop 8 passed because most whites didn't vote against it as the LA Times revealed, but it was blacks and Latinos who were attacked and used as scapegoats. So it's amusing that so many whites are talking all this trash now, because had they voted against Prop 8 5 years ago, the issue wouldn't be at the Supreme Court and our time wouldn't be getting wasted now. So here we are.

But let’s take a moment to appreciate the hypocrisy. I’m supposed to be patient and wait to not be discriminated and murdered against, yet I notice most white gays aren’t wasting anytime moving heaven and earth for the “legal right” to sashay down the aisle.

Yes, we’re supposed to be patient and wait our turn. Only problem is that Promised Day will never arrive on its own. What Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said then STILL applies now, “We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed. Frankly, I have yet to engage in a direct action campaign that was “well timed” in the view of those who have not suffered unduly from the disease of segregation. For years now I have heard the word “Wait!” It rings in the ear of every Negro with piercing familiarity. This “Wait” has almost always meant “Never.” We must come to see, with one of our distinguished jurists, that “justice too long delayed is justice denied.”

Indeed.

The moral of the story: