The Pageant and Ballroom Community Girls Are #GirlsLikeUs, Too

One of the subjects that I talked with Jahaira at length about yesterday was the need to recognize that #girlslikeus also includes the crossdressers who have the gender epiphany, start making the move toward the transitioned full time end of the spectrum but the girls in the pageant and ballroom community.

We're not all middle class, college educated peeps that get to congregate at the increasing palette of wonderful conferences like OUT on the Hill and BTMI/BWMI.   For some of our sisters who fit that middle class collegiate description their ultimate goal is to spend a Labor Day weekend in Chicago competing for the Miss Continental title or striving for legendary status in their various categories in the ballroom community.

What some people (I'm looking side-eyed at you TS Separatists) fail to realize is that for many non-white transkids, the pageant and ballroom communities ARE their transition pathway and support system if their families reject them.   They use the prize money they win from the pageants and balls to pay for their transitions and the work they need to do to feminize their bodies.

As they gain prestige, affirmation and legendary status in the pageant and ballroom communities our sisters begin to overcome the shame, fear and guilt issues that plague all girls like us at times and have a support system in place for those moments when they need to talk to someone about the issues we all deal with.

For example, if you are a young person competing n the Fem Queen Realness category in which you must be as close to feminine perfection as possible in the judges minds, you get 10's across the board from them, and get affirmation and love from the ballroom patrons and the competitors from other houses, you begin to build up the confidence that you can actually become the woman of your dreams and successfully interact with the world outside the ballroom community.

If you think I'm kidding about that, just check out the examples of  Leiomy Maldonado and Isis King who have parlayed their time in the ballroom community in their respective categories to mainstream success. 

Just as in the ballroom community, the lessons you learn from competing in pageants also carry over into your life as well.  In addition to learning how to stand tall, speak clearly and concisely and make sure your feminine presentation is on point,  you also learn you can do all that and still not win. You learn to be a classy winner and a gracious loser.  You learn that it's going to take a lot of hard work through stiff competition to reach your goals.  You also learn that a beautiful face isn't everything.  You also have to have a beautiful heart and keen mind to go with it.        

There are some thoughtful, intelligent voices in the pageant and ballroom communities who are ready, willing and able to do what they can to advance trans human rights if we activists peeps humbly ask them for their help.  One example of that is my homegirl Amirage back in Louisville who is not only a major figure in the pageant world, but was part of the efforts to get the Fairness Ordinance passed in the late 90's. 

There are proud girls like us in the both the pageant and ballroom community who have donated their time, talents and efforts to combat the spread of HIV/AIDS in not only their respective circles, but the African-American community as well. 

It's past time we started including our trans sisters in those sectors of our trans community into the discussions about owning our power.  We need to chat with our pageant and ballroom sisters about what they need, how they see the world and what policies they would like to see happen.  They need some love, respect and media light shined on their sectors of the community.

And if we're going to craft solid trans specific policies that will shape how Trans World will look in the rest of this decade and beyond, representatives from the pageant and ballroom communities need to be at the table when we have those ongoing policy discussions.

But one thing we should never forget is the pageant and ballroom community girls are also girls like us, we all have being trans women as a common thread, and we have people that irrationally hate on ALL of us simply for having the courage to honestly live our lives.

So let's get busy focusing on what unites us and doing what's best for the entire trans community human rights wise rather than what divides us.  
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