After listening to Renee talk, it struck me that both of us had a similar problem in that neither of us had been 'gettin' our girl on' as frequently as we were both used to doing for various reasons. After I pointed that out, the conversation shifted to what we both needed to do to address the situation.
When you're considered the 'unwoman' as Black women are and vilified by society for it on a regular basis, combined with the demands of being a significant other or a mother, it's easy to fall into the trap of just dressing comfortably for the demands of your day and constantly doing for others instead of taking some time to express your femininity and let that inner diva out.
You have foundations created for you to enhance your beauty and apply the mascara to enhance the allure of your eyes. You get to wear the heels and lacy underwear and shop for both at regular intervals.
You are woman, and you need to let that femininity roar at times. It's also important to recognize that we need to take time to focus on ourselves, recharge those spiritual batteries and do what we need to do to help us tap into that inner diva.
For transwomen of color gettin' our girl on is not only a survival tool, it does wonders for us to help boost our self esteem and fight the shame and guilt issues that we constantly battle against. The slings and arrows we suffer from being attacked inside and outside the community about our feminine journey can be a pain at times.
But when we put on our sexiest outfit or clothes that flatter our figures, do our hair and nails, and take the time to put our other faces on, that melts away for a moment when we take one look in the mirror and like the beautiful visage staring back at us.
Yep, we need to get our girl on for a lot of reasons. Many of them are culturally based, some are rooted in how we express femininity.
But many of the reasons why we regularly engage in 'gettin' our girl on' are deeply personal.