Saturday, November 22, 2014

Reclaiming My Inner Diva Again

Yesterday afternoon I was waiting from my bus downtown to take me back to my new crib in the Heights.   

One of the things I have been battling in addition to my transphobic aunt and uncle is the misgendering I endured while I was there for the last four years. 

It had a much deeper effect on me that I expected    I'd stopped getting my nails done (and some of that was for fiscal reasons) and was having more of those unpretty episodes than I cared to admit.

Lately I wasn't feeling like the fly Black woman of trans experience  I've been evolving into for the last 20 years, and that was bothering me as well.

While I was waiting for the bus, I noted this fly sister with a cinnamon brown skin tone strutting north up Travis St in her nice dress, black patent pumps with bare legs, and perfect makeup and nails.

I'm always on the lookout for sistahs who got it going on in terms of their feminine presentation to see what lessons I can learn and implement in my own routine.  While checking her out noticed that she had the white uneven skin patches around her feet and the back parts of her shapely legs of vitiligo.

She held her head high and kept strutting up that sidewalk as if she was the finest thing walking in Downtown Houston that particular moment, and frankly, girlfriend had curves to go with it. 

Monica RobertsShe did teach me a lesson that I took home that afternoon   Some of us trans women get so beat down with all the negativity we experience, it sometimes causes us to question our hard won femininity and try to tone it down to please others. 

The only person I have to please is myself.    Now that I'm taking my first steps back to being on my own, I'm going to do a better job of rocking my inner diva.  

Not just for me, but hey, I have competition.   My little sisters ain't playing, they are bringing their A+ beauty games to the transfeminine party, and I have younglings that look up to me as a role model now.

Some of my trans sisters in my age group are no slouches either when it comes to projecting the types of women they want to present to the world either.

So yeah, gotta role model what aging gracefully looks like.    So where's the nearest nail shop to my new place?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I've been sitting here for at least twenty-odd minutes trying to think of what to say. I've been questioning if my comment would be welcome, considering I'm a pasty-pale cisgendered woman, and I've only seen secondhand the struggles my transgendered friends experience.

But you know what? What the hell. You are a woman, a beautiful kickass woman, and you are my sister. I'll be cheering you on no matter what.

And, if this suggestion wouldn't be amiss, if you want a lovely way to spice up your nails, I highly recommend the products made by Jamberry Nails. I'm not very feminine, or even particularly nice to look at, but even I felt pretty with some of their samples on my fingers.