A proud unapologetic Black trans woman speaking truth to power and discussing the world around her since 2006
Monday, September 23, 2013
Sistahs, Let's Stop Hatin' On Each Other
Guest post from Robin Bonner
so I walk in and you see me. You see that my hair is done, my outfit
is fierce and I carry myself like a lady. I smile at you but you roll
your eyes at me, then, turn your head and whisper something to your
girl. Why you hatin'
Okay, so maybe I'm a new employee and this is my first day at work. I almost thought I would be the only sistah in the joint until someone introduced us to each other. I smile and extend my hand, happy to know I won't be here alone. You smile and shake my hand but there's insincerity in your eyes and your hand is limp. You seem guarded.
What's wrong Ma'?
Okay, so maybe my man and I have been having problems. And since you've been my best friend for years I confide in you that I think he's cheating on me. You offer your support. Until I find out that he's been cheating on cheating on me....with you! Why would you hurt me like that?
I found your knife, girl.....it's in my back!
As women we battle daily. We battle keeping our families together, keeping our men happy and maintaining our presence in the workforce. With all that battling going on why in the world should we have to battle each other?
Now I'm not saying every sistah has a knife but some of you do and you know who you are. Why is it that a woman can't get her glamour on without you having a problem? Why can't I get a blonde weave without you having something to say? If I'm working myself to death in the office trying to climb the corporate ladder why am I suddenly a sellout? If I leave the room for a minute why can't I trust you around my man? Smiling in my face, but gossiping all my personal business behind my back?
You now have permission to consider yourself trifling!
Inferiority Complex. It makes us feel that in order to be someone special we have to put everyone else beneath us. Are we so insecure in ourselves that we can't feel good until we pull someone else down?
There's something wrong here. We've come to envy those who've accomplished in their lives what we've only dreamed of having for ourselves. And when we fear we will never be able to get what we want - we steal it.
There is a serious self-worth issue going on here. We're in a day and age where we should be encouraging each other and holding each other up.
Sisterhood should not end when Oprah goes off. Truth be told, there will always be someone prettier, sexier, stronger, and smarter. I'm sorry Boo - that's just the way it is. But that's ok.....just do you!
I don't care how good Beyonce' looks - if she walks into the same room I'm in, it doesn't make me any less of the diva I already am! I love admiring hairstyles...but there's no need to be jealous. Honey, nowadays there's enough hair for 'err-body'.
I have goals in life. There are things I strive to attain. Yet I seek out successful sisters because they keep me motivated.
Life is so much more than who looks the best, who dresses the best and who makes more money. So when you see your sister going for hers let it inspire you .... To do you