Cecile Richards Is Right : White Women MUST Do Better

I loved Ann Richards when she was my governor, and it seems as though Cecile Richards is cut from the same straight talking cloth her mom was.

At the Las Vegas Women's March she said something that Black women have been saying to ourselves for years now in terms of it is not just Black women's job to do the heavy lifting work of saving this country.

We Black women, cis and trans have known since the 60s that the GOP ain't shyt.   The rest of y'all have been slow to resistant to getting in formation with us to vote the GOP bastards out at all levels of government.     Thanks to Richards, the conversation can get started about the elephant in the room in terms of this problematic pattern.

And it's past time you #TrustBlackWomen.  While Cecile Richards' words were welcomed by Black women activists and leaders, we will be watching the deeds of white women in 2018, not just your words. 

53% of white women voted for Trump. 63% of you for the detestable Roy Moore.   It's not  just a recent patten, it's a historic one going back to the suffragist moment in which you threw women of color under the bus to get the right to vote for yourselves.

In my home state of Texas,  during the 2014 election cycle, despite having  two women on the ballot running for governor and lieutenant governor in Wendy Davis and Leticia Van de Putte,  66% of Texas white women overwhelmingly cast their ballots for Greg Abbott.

What were Texas Black and Latinx women doing?  As usual, handling their business.  Texas Black women were putting intersectionality into pragmatic action as 94% of them supported Davis, and Texas Latinas voted 61% for Davis.

So yeah white women, Cecile Richards is right.   Y'all must do better.  You must tackle that internalized misogyny and your transphobia and make true sisterhood a reality, not a dream..

It can't be just Black and Latinx women doing all the heavy lifting to make this country better  while you keep throwing a monkey wrench in the process by voting overwhelmingly for Republicans who oppress all of us.

Y'all have some work to do in Texas and elsewhere in 2018, and it starts today .

Thanks Cecile Richards for saying it.

Dear Transphobic People- Message To Transphobic Black Cis Women

Dear Transphobic People:
Today I'm going  to have to call out some of the very women that I have spent years defending in Black cis women.   Specifically, the Black cis feminine transphobes in our midst.

Y'all are really feeling froggy lately.   First it was Chimamanda Adichie with her transphobic BS that she doubled down on that I and other trans women had to call out, and ,now we have Stacey Patton letting loose with her anti-trans screeds.

Let me repeat the words of Raquel Willis from her March 13, 2017 The Root  'Trans Women Are Women.  This Isn't A Debate'  article one more time loud enough for you chocolate transphobes to hear;

'Just as it was wrong for womanhood to be narrowly defined within the hegemonic white woman’s experience, so, too, is it wrong for womanhood to be defined as the hegemonic cisgender woman’s experience. Cis women may be the majority, but that hardly means their experience the only valid one.

And Moni approves of this message.  

Black Trans women are women.  Black trans women intersectionally show up and show out for everyone's human rights struggles, but when it's your turn to show up for us, you're MIA or regurgitating the same disco era TERF crap created by white fauxminists.

Miss us with your chocolate flavored wannabe TERF intolerance.

It's sad that some of you Black cis women give more respect and love to Tyler Perry dressed as Madea, up to and including using female pronouns for him while dressed in drag, than you do the Black trans women living in the same 'hood with you.
   
It's bad enough that we Black trans women are literally being slaughtered in the streets, white TERF's and fauxminists have been attacking our femininity and humanity since the 70's and you have been cricket chirping silent about that.

Black trans women are not your enemy Black cis feminine transphobes, and you need to check yourselves and recognize that.

We don't need you piling on and attacking our humanity.  We Black trans women have enough on our human rights plates right now dealing with people trying to kill us, the attacks on us coming from the conservative movement, Republican legislators, elements of the LG community, the TERF's, and the Roman Catholic, Southern Baptist and white evangelical churches.

We are struggling just to have our voices heard in Trans World since trans femininity has been discussed ever since Christine Jorgensen stepped off the plane in February 1953 from a white lens.

We Black trans women don't want and need that transphobic crap from y'all and we ain't having it.   Neither are we tolerating the knee -jerk transphobia coming from your ranks.

The bottom line that should concern you as it does us is that Black femininity has been under attack since our ancestors got that first unwanted free boat ride from Africa to what later became the United States in 1619.    We would rather be spending our valuable time building sisterhood with you, fighting all comers who dare attack and demonize Black femininity, and working together to solve the issues that plague all Black women.

Think about that before you part your lips to say transphobic crap or share a transphobic TERF post..


TransGriot Note: TERF is an acronym for Trans Exclusionary (or Exterminationalist) Radical Feminist.   Yeah, some of the predominately white TERF's have gone there and called for our genocidal extermination.

She's Your Sister, Not Your Competition

I was watching the interview on Sunday that Cheryl Courtney Evans gave with Raquel Willis in January.   During the third part of it she talked about an aspect of Black Transfeminine World that has bothered me and a few other woke trans women for a while in terms of the reluctance of elements of our transfeminine community to collectively work together in order to advance rights for all of us.

Cheryl's thoughts on it, and I agree with her, is that the problem stems in the different paths we used to evolve to be the people we are.  

While some of us had the gender epiphany and transitioned while out and about in the world at different times like I did, some of us came from the drag and pageantry world, some came from the ballroom community, and some of us came from the escort world.

I'm aware of those other paths that people took to become the people they are today and I ain't mad at them for doing what they felt they had to do at that moment to become the people they are today, but those paths have caused problems in our efforts to build sisterhood in our ranks.

The reason why I'm saying the drag, pageant, ballroom and escort worlds have caused a problem with building sisterhood is because the common thread in all of those worlds is competiton.

In the escort world you are trying to compete with other girls to make your money to keep a roof over your head and food in your belly.  In the drag world you're competing against other girls trying to make those tips to help pay your bills. In the pageant world you are competing to try to win that title and the cash prize that comes with it.

And in the ballroom community you are competing against each other to win categories for cash prizes and trophies.  The other common thread in all those competition scenarios is that every year, as girls transition at earlier ages, they are indistinguishable from cis females, which ratchets up the 'It's all about me' mindset another level as younger girls enter those worlds.

I'm not saying that sisterhood and friendships aren't formed in these worlds.  They are.  What I'm focused on, and I'm repeating this so there is no misunderstanding about where I'm going with this, is that the competition mindset elements of us have marinated in in those worlds has pitted us against each other far too often.  It can and has reared its ugly head at times to the point where outside observers of our Black transfeminine ranks have this impression that Black trans women can't work together.

That competition mindset we marinate in doesn't lend itself to a situation like building community and fighting for your human rights, in which cooperation is the name of the game and not competition.   It's something that we need to be conscious of and work diligently at to build trust among the various groups

And we need to do it quickly.  This community is in an situation in which we are taking on a coalition of transphobic haters comprised of the Republican Party, white fundamentalists, sellout kneegrow pastors, conservative media pundits, the TERFs, elements of the Roman Catholic Church and the Southern Baptists.

Their mission is to eviscerate trans people from public life and must be resisted with every fiber of our beings and collective power we can muster.

So I and other woke trans women need to know that when we take these fools on, you're not looking side eyed at us out of jealousy or whatever issue you have with us and petulantly sitting out this round because you have an issue with a certain person.  We need you at that moment to have your sisters backs, not be stabbing us in the back.

We have bigger enemies to our existence in transphobic legislators, lying conservative pundits, faux faith based preachers or the kneegrow sellouts trying to throw us under the bus for their own selfish gain.   So you can hate on me and the woke trans women doing the human rights work all you want.

But when we are in Defcon 1 Fight The Power mode, we need 100% effort from you and your head in the game to defeat the existential threat to all of us.  When the crisis is passed, then you can go back to throwing shade if you wish.

As Janet Mock has said, there is room for all of us to shine.  There's also plenty of work that needs to be done across the country in different activism lanes for the collective advancement of our Black trans feminine community.   Your time will come to be in the spotlight, and when it does, I and your sisters will be cheering for you from the sidelines.  I will also be the first one to hug you and sing your praises in this blog when the time comes for you to get that deserved recognition.

It's past time we transitioned from a Darwinian survival mindset and into the cooperative sisterhood building mindset that we will need in order to successfully do our part in this trans human rights fight.

We are Black trans women.   When we put out minds to it and handle our business, we can accomplish anything we desire.  It's just we are more powerful when we do so together in a coordinated fashion.

Remember, she's your sister, not your competition.

Trans Women. Stop Hatin' On Your Trans Sisters

In a time in which trans women are being killed at record rates, we trans people are fighting for recognition of our humanity, our human rights are under assault from haters who are using the legislative process to try to criminalize our trans lives, haters like the TERFs are attacking us because they are let's be real, straight up evil vanillacentric privileged wenches, and the conservative moment because they need somebody new to hate on after their catastrophic loss on marriage equality, one of the things that pisses me off is when I see it is elements of the trans community hating on other trans sisters.

And it needs to stop

So what is hatin' for the context of discussion in this post? 

*Hatin' is when you disparage another sister for no reason other than because you're jealous of her.

*Hatin' is when you engage in non-constructive criticism or throw unwanted and unjustified shady comments at your trans sister 

*Hatin' is deliberately outing her and putting her in a potentially dangerous situation in which she could be assaulted or killed.

*Hatin' is any action on your part specifically designed to negatively impact her life like outing her at her job to a boss or co-worker that you know is transphobic and you are aware of the fact she is low to non-disclosed about her trans status on that job.

*Hatin' is colluding with the enemies of the trans community like conservafools and TERFs to impede the human rights progress of the trans community for your personal gain, comfort or you just wanna be a nekulturny azzhole.

There are many of my sisters who are successful, accomplished women and they look damned fly when handling their business.  To borrow the line from Melissa De Souza's Shelby character in the movie The Best Man Holiday, 'Don't hate, emulate'

When I see see my sisters at a White House event, Eden Lane on CNN, Janet Mock on MSNBC guest hosting the Melissa Harris-Perry Show, Laverne Cox's face on ESSENCE and other magazines, Geena Rocero and Isis King strutting down catwalks, Jazz and her family on TLC, Ruby Corado running her now three year old center in DC, Angelica Ross handling her TransTech business, Precious Davis searching for the perfect wedding dress as she and her fiance Myles role model what Black trans folks in love with each other looks like, and Nikki Araguz Loyd and her business partner Meagan Gillett stylishly handling their Gallery Girls business, why should I be hatin' on that? 

There are many trans women in this community that  I admire and look up to for many reasons   All of us are beautiful and have qualities that make us so.  The women I admire and look up to I do so not only for their beauty, their intelligence, their creative talents, their trailblazing leadership qualities, their on fleek sense of style, or some combination of all of the above, they also add into that mix of qualities being genuinely good people  . 

I see these women, some of who I am proud to call my friends, what they have accomplished, and I'm inspired to step up my own personal game.  Instead of hatin' you should be taking notes and trying to replicate what she did to arrive at that point of success you are so green with envy about.  

Is it your trans sister's fault if she hit the genetic lottery and her family DNA hormones were extremely good to her? She busted her ass to get her education?  She has amazing music talent that she has worked hard to hone?  That she has a significant other who is not only proud of her, but loves her?   That she's successfully getting paid and working in a nice job?  

#StopTheShade because frankly, in this critical moment for our community,  we don't need trans sisters hatin' on each other.  We have more than enough cis folks out there ready and willing to line up to not only hate on  us and challenge our very humanity, but who are willing to take that hatred to the next level and oppress and kill us.

We also have serious human rights work ahead of us that will take all of us working as a unified team doing different tasks to make real the promises of democracy for trans kind.
 

So keep that in mind the next time you wish to pop the top on that Haterade and spit it back out at another trans sister.  .

Sis To Cis Washington DC Conversation Tomorrow

One of the things that has needed to happen for a long time is for trans women and cis women to have conversations in which we talk about our respective issues, share stories, and facilitate the building of sisterhood and working partnerships with each other.  

We've had one of those cis and trans women conversations I've outlined in Houston, and are planning more of them.

Tomorrow night in Washington DC, one of those conversations will take place at Busboys & Poets organized and hosted by Joanna Cifredo.

The FireBreathingTGirl.com presents SIS to CIS: Modern Day Women Deconstructing the Ideals of Womanhood is the first in a series of planned conversations between trans women and cis women of color to discuss womanhood, feminism, relationships, representation, the body, intersectionality and what it means to be a woman at the margins of today's society.  

Cifredo is the founder of the FireBreathingTGirl blog, will co host along with Tyisha Jones, and is the first of the Sis to Cis conversations which have the goal of modeling a dialogue about the acceptance and inclusion of transgender women of color into spaces and conversation traditionally reserved for cisgender women; by creating a common understanding about the shared experiences around our lives as marginalized women with a history of resilience.

The panelists for this inaugural DC dialogue are Dr. Juliana Martinez, Raffi Freedman-Gurspan, Alexa Elizabeth Maclovia Rodriguez, and June Crenshaw.

If you're interested in attending, the address for the Busboys & Poets location hosting this conversation open to all  is 1025 5th St NW, and it will start at 6 PM EDT.

There Will ALWAYS Be Somebody Prettier Than You...Deal With It

Sisterhood should not end when Oprah goes off. Truth be told, there will always be someone prettier, sexier, stronger, and smarter. I'm sorry Boo - that's just the way it is. But that's ok.....just do you!
Robin Bonner, September 23, 2013  Sisters, Let's Stop Hatin' On Each Other

I was talking to one of my trans homegirls recently and the subject turned to what Robin discussed in the September 23. 2013 guest post in terms of sisterhood.  While Robin's guest post was talking about it in general, me and my trans homegirl were talking about how it manifests itself in our transfeminine ranks.

The conversation was triggered by our observations about one of our sisters who has a self esteem problem.   She can't see her own beautiful self because she is so fixated on the other women in our circle that happen to be drop dead gorgeous.  She has used that as an excuse to decline from participating in the ongoing community building and crafting of sisterhood circles we are engaged in here in Houston.

I'm going to borrow and focus on a section of what Robin said in that quote I highlighted at the beginning of this post and say it once again.  

There will always be someone who is prettier, sexier, stronger, smarter, et cetera, and that's life.

Do I have some cis and trans women in our community I'm envious of and admire?   You damned skippy I do because I'm human.  But at the same time I'm aware that I have a combination of qualities they are just as envious of and admire about me that inhabit my statuesque body.  

I've also had 20 plus years to evolve and do me, and to borrow to words of my brother Kye Allums, I am enough.

That salient point about the diverse community of women encapsulated in Robin's quote is also reflected in Trans Feminine World.  

The reality is there are always going to be trans women who got the genetic luck of the draw.    There will be trans women who will be prettier, sexier, stronger, smarter, or have combinations of those various characteristics inhabiting their bodies.

There are going to be increasing numbers of trans women who because they transitioned in early childhood, their teens  or early in life are going to be indistinguishable from the average cis woman. 

And yeah, let's be real, trans women can be our own worst critics about how we look. 

There are those of us in Trans World that will also because of varying reasons that include fiscal ones, be able to avail themselves of surgical enhancements, hormones and GRS to correct or enhance whatever they perceive needs to be corrected on their bodies that results in their personal happiness and satisfaction.

And just like cis women, trans women come in all shapes, sizes, skin tones and body configurations.   There are going to be some of us who have the classic hourglass shape, perfect cheekbones and single digit shoe size.   Some of us will be petite while others of us will be supermodel height.  Others of us will be full figured and have a double digit shoe size or other various combinations of characteristics.  

In Black trans feminine ranks, we come in 24 different shades ranging from light bright and damned near white to deepest darkest ebony in terms of our skin tones.   All of them carry baggage beyond run of the mill trans issues, and all those skin tones are beautiful.

And as my homegirl Joanna Cifredo enlightened me to during a conversation we had in Chicago, trans Latinas also have to contend with the overall cultural beauty standards that cis Latinas have to deal with.

All that  matters is that we get to a point in in our ongoing feminine journeys in which as we get comfortable in our skins, we have personalities that are just as beautiful inside that match or exceed the outside shell.
What is also important as a trans feminine community is that as we evolve toward acceptance of the reality there will always be somebody prettier that we are, we deal with it by not projecting our insecurities, jealousies and issues onto our sisters be their cis or trans.

We need to be focused on the bigger prize of being about the business of building sisterhood in our ranks..

The Ongoing Journey To Womanist-hood

Six years ago today I wrote a post that was my declaration that I was a womanist and I embraced it over feminism, which I consider profoundly problematic and far too white feminine centric.

I also rejected it at the time because of the deafening silence of white led feminism to the TERF (trans exterminationalist/exclusionary radical feminist)  wing that in some cases had people openly advocating for the genocide of trans women to deafening silence from Feminist World.

Six years later there has been movement in Feminist world to condemn and call out the TERF''s and make it clear by their creation of the TERF term they are not radical feminists or part of their trans feminine inclusive movement.

I've noted that Gloria Steinem has recanted the ugly anti-trans remarks she made back in the 70's-early 80's, but I and other trans women and our allies are still waiting for her's and feminism's deeds to catch up with their lofty words.

But I'm still a proud womanist.   Said TransGriot commenter Hypathia at the time, "Womanist theory can handle the intersectionality of race, class, and gender, all of them simultaneously and in connection with each other.  Because it can do that, it is the most powerful theory. Womanism is the first movement to ever achieve that synthesis, which today we see as vital to progress. We have Womanism to thank for the progress that has been made."

And I've said it before and will continue to say it, I have yet to see or have happen a womanist disrespect my humanity as a trans woman or push laws and policies that negatively affect me as feminism's adherents have repeatedly done.

I don't have any problem with self identified Black feminists either, but  I am, and still identify as a womanist.   Womanist theory not only aligns with my political and personal human rights beliefs, it's also a plus that I have womanists in my life who see me as their sister.

And  that sisterhood is deeply appreciated and reciprocated as I continue my ongoing evolutionary journey to womanist-hood. .

Road Trip With The Gallery Girls

After my Monday Trans 101 panel discussion that included Nikki Araguz Loyd, UH student Skye, Lorraine Schroeder and myself, got an invite from Nikki and Meagan Gillett to join them on a road trip to Prairie View A&M University northwest of H-town to spread their special brand of sunshine to cheer up a young trans woman in her final semester of school on that HBCU campus.

While we have several colleges and universities in the state of Texas that cover transpeople in their non-discrimination policies, sadly Texas Southern University and Prairie View A&M aren't among that list.

TSU's Thurgood Marshall Law School is, but they need to do the same for the rest of the TSU campus

It can be lonely and tough at times for a transitioning trans woman in any space.   But those feelings of isolation can be magnified on a college campus.

And you haven't lived until you've taken a road trip with Nikki and Meagan.

After killing time at an outlet mall and scooping up some bargains, we rolled up to Prairie View and the apartment our trans sister shares with two other students around 8 PM CST to scoop her up and take her to a nearby Mexican restaurant.

She'd been a little bummed out about some personal issues, but she's handling her classroom business, is looking forward in this last semester at PV to graduating in May and getting started with her life that's so bright she'll need fashion forward shades to navigate it.

And yeah, hitting Bucee's on the way back to Houston with the Gallery Girls was the bomb.

Enjoyed meeting my trans sister, rolling up 290 and back with Nikki and Meagan, and looking forward to the next time I can spend some quality time with them.

Still Thinking About Sisterhood

Sisterhood should not end when Oprah goes off. Truth be told, there will always be someone prettier, sexier, stronger, and smarter. I'm sorry Boo - that's just the way it is. But that's ok.....just do you!
--Robin Bonner, September 23, 2013, 'Sistahs, Let's Stop Hating On Each Other. 

 
One on the topics I've talked about a lot on this blog is sisterhood.   Whether it's between cis and trans women or inside our transfeminine ranks, I see sisterhood as a mutually beneficial situation. 

It not only helps trans woman become the quality women we know we are and continue to strive to be, but it helps cis women to understand the issues we grapple with while making the connection that trans women are women. 

We trans women deal with many of the same issues and struggles that come with walking Planet Earth in a feminine body.  While there are some issues that cis women deal with that I and other trans women will never know what it's like to experience, that doesn't (and shouldn't) stop me and other trans women from standing in sisterly solidarity with you.

We trans women deeply appreciate the support and unconditional love we get from those of our cis sisters who have come to the realization that trans women are women and include us in your sister circles.  It's deeply appreciated when you wrap your arms around me, hug me and call me your friend or homegirl.  

And yes, those sisterly friendships are vital to our continued feminine evolutions, especially when Black and Latina trans women are so hated upon.
Thanks once again for the frank conversations, sharing your joys and concerns, the motivational kicks in the behind when necessary and lending an ear when we need it. 

Knowing and hearing you express that trans women are women, and seeing you excel while looking fly inspires me to step it up another level and role model that quality Black woman I talk about on these electronic pages so much. 

Contrary to the lies the TERF"s have been pushing since the disco era, trans women aren't your enemies, nor do we want to be.  We have far more struggles in common in our evolving feminine journeys than we do differences, and I enjoy it when I get to sit down and have conversations with cis and trans women and talk about them.   

Building sisterhood and working partnerships in the cis and trans feminine ranks is a worthy and achievable goal    Let's get busy making it happen.

Sharron, Why You Hatin' On Janet?

One of the pleasures of my first ever Philadelphia Trans Health Conference experience was getting to see Janet Mock's keynote speech in which I got an unexpected shoutout during it. 

But what is pissing me off is that in the wake of it, is Sharron Cooks dipping a nasty cup in the post PTHC Kool-Aid and engaging in Hate on Janet Mock Derangement Syndrome. 

The Philadelphia based activist leveled the charge on her Facebook page that Janet was paid a five figure fee for her keynote speech at the just concluded conference.  That didn't sound right, so I called Janet myself to get the lowdown.  

Let's just say according to Janet, Ms. Cooks numbers are highly inflated by about $11,000.  What Janet told me her compensation was didn't even come close to that.  

PTHC is now the largest trans themed convention in the US and arguably the world. The room was overflowing when Janet spoke Thursday afternoon.  

Let's shift the conversation in another direction for a moment . How many people who were on the fence about coming to PTHC 2014,   made the decision to come because she was the keynote speaker?

Activists need to pay bills and replenish our bank accounts too, and because we do this work many of us will have a hard time getting 9 to 5 jobs. So if we have the ability to leverage our status as activists into speaking fees, what's the problem with that?

One of the things I have griped about for years on this blog is Black transpeople not being paid what we are worth or conference organizers trying to go cheap on our speaking fees when we are asked to keynote conferences or speak on the college circuit. It's even more galling when you have white transpeople who literally can make a living from doing so.

Dan Choi at one point reportedly wouldn't speak anywhere unless he got a minimum $10,000 fee plus first class air travel to wherever he was going. The Rev. Dr. ML King Jr in one year in 1960's dollars reportedly made $600,000 in speaking fees. The PTHC is a free conference, so where are the funds going to come from for Janet to get paid the $12K speaking fee that Ms. Cooks alleges happened? 

My inquiring mind also wants to know what is Ms. Cooks' beef with Janet when she also adds the shady 'she's not an activist' line in her loud and wrong critique?  


And my additional question to you Sharron, is what in your mind makes you think Janet ISN'T an activist?
Did you not consider that activism isn't just screaming and direct action protesting in the streets and it takes multiple forms? 

Activism is changing hearts and minds of the fence sitters when it comes to our human rights struggle.  It's pushing back against the falsehoods and lies of our opponents. It's lobbying legislators to pass trans inclusive legislation that helps ALL transpeople live quality lives. It's giving hope and a voice to people in this community who feel like they don't have one. It's also providing role models to our trans community that people can look up to and emulate.

All of us involved in trans community activism have certain missions and roles to fulfill and the skill sets necessary to complete that particular mission we gravitate to.  And as Janet has stated in those multiple venues she has access to, there is room for all of us to shine as we do so. 

Janet, because she worked in media as a former People.com editor, has a masters degree in journalism, and yes is attractive, is perfect for the role of being the trailblazing media savvy Black transwoman along with Laverne Cox and Tiq Milan for engaging with the media and telling our stories.

That is her activist lane, and we need to be doing whatever it takes as a community to support her in that role.  

I'm curious to know Sharron, what exactly does 'NOT an Activist' mean? Does it mean you have to take a vow of poverty in order to become an activist? That only certain forms of activism like street protests are 'acceptable activism'?  Does it mean that because I have an internationally read blog in TransGriot that has over 5.5 million hits and I have spent 8.5 years building it into a go to resource and voice for our community, I'm 'not an activist'?  

If you tried to say that about me in Houston, elsewhere in this country and the trans community, you'd be laughed out of the room. 

Who are the other people who meet your 'not an activist' criteria?   Is Geena Rocero 'not an activist' because like Janet, she was an undisclosed trans woman and supermodel until recently, but since coming out has had the well received TED talk, lobbied in her birth nation for trans human rights friendly laws to be passed there, formed an international trans rights organization in GenderProud and was also in attendance at this year's PTHC?

Or is it envy that Janet was asked to keynote that PTHC speech in your hometown conference and not you? 

Was it jealousy that Ms. Mock has been interviewed in multiple national media print outlets, cable news programs like the Melissa Harris-Perry Show and now has a New York Times bestselling book that people eagerly line up to get autographed that makes her in your mind 'not an activist'?


Frankly, I'm tired of the attacks that have been being aimed at Janet Mock and other Black transwomen including moi since February.  They aren't acceptable when they come from jealous white transwomen and their clueless boyfriends.  It's also an interesting things that make you go hmm moment to note that some of the white transwomen attacking Janet reside in your Philly backyard.

Those attacks are problematic and unacceptable when they come from our own people.

Sharron, you have every right to your opinion about who is and isn't an activist.  But where I draw the line is when your opinion leads to false attacks on a sister doing the work and mimic 'Janet is not an activist' shade that has been thrown by jealous and borderline racist white transwomen.

And yes, I characterize a statement that Janet Mock is 'not an activist' as an attack on her.

Ms Cooks, It flies in the face of logic and reason and makes you look petty and vindictive when you claim Janet Mock is 'not an activist' when it is clear in her own way she is.

Guess you weren't paying attention when she used her media profile and blog to draw attention to the plight of transteen Jane Doe in Connecticut. Or you were probably too busy rolling your eyes to notice in that very PTHC room where she delivered her keynote and answered questions after concluding it, when she only had time for one more question, she insisted the last one come from a transperson of color. .

You stated on your Facebook page 'We cannot have unity without honesty'.  Bearing false witness against someone and calling it the truth doesn't promote unity, either.

I met you during that same just concluded PTHC conference.  I'd like to sit down and have a serious conversation with you one day and get to know you better.  But one of the things I have very little tolerance for is a trans sister of color unjustly attacking another one.  Seen too much of that divisive dynamic in white trans feminine world, and I refuse to let that dynamic even get a foothold in ours. 

So whatever your issue is with Janet, take it off the Net, pick up the phone, call her and work it out.   . 

    

Sistahs, Let's Stop Hatin' On Each Other

Guest post from Robin Bonner

Okay, so I walk in and you see me. You see that my hair is done, my outfit is fierce and I carry myself like a lady. I smile at you but you roll your eyes at me, then, turn your head and whisper something to your girl. Why you hatin'

Okay, so maybe I'm a new employee and this is my first day at work. I almost thought I would be the only sistah in the joint until someone introduced us to each other. I smile and extend my hand, happy to know I won't be here alone. You smile and shake my hand but there's insincerity in your eyes and your hand is limp. You seem guarded.

What's wrong Ma'?

Okay, so maybe my man and I have been having problems. And since you've been my best friend for years I confide in you that I think he's cheating on me. You offer your support. Until I find out that he's been cheating on cheating on me....with you! Why would you hurt me like that?

I found your knife, girl.....it's in my back!

As women we battle daily. We battle keeping our families together, keeping our men happy and maintaining our presence in the workforce. With all that battling going on why in the world should we have to battle each other?

Now I'm not saying every sistah has a knife but some of you do and you know who you are. Why is it that a woman can't get her glamour on without you having a problem? Why can't I get a blonde weave without you having something to say?  If I'm working myself to death in the office trying to climb the corporate ladder why am I suddenly a sellout?  If I leave the room for a minute why can't I trust you around my man? Smiling in my face, but gossiping all my personal business behind my back?

You now have permission to consider yourself trifling!

Inferiority Complex. It makes us feel that in order to be someone special we have to put everyone else beneath us. Are we so insecure in ourselves that we can't feel good until we pull someone else down?

There's something wrong here. We've come to envy those who've accomplished in their lives what we've only dreamed of having for ourselves. And when we fear we will never be able to get what we want - we steal it.

There is a serious self-worth issue going on here. We're in a day and age where we should be encouraging each other and holding each other up.

Sisterhood should not end when Oprah goes off. Truth be told, there will always be someone prettier, sexier, stronger, and smarter. I'm sorry Boo - that's just the way it is. But that's ok.....just do you!

I don't care how good Beyonce' looks - if she walks into the same room I'm in, it doesn't make me any less of the diva I already am! I love admiring hairstyles...but there's no need to be jealous. Honey, nowadays there's enough hair for 'err-body'.

I have goals in life. There are things I strive to attain. Yet I seek out successful sisters because they keep me motivated.

Life is so much more than who looks the best, who dresses the best and who makes more money. So when you see your sister going for hers let it inspire you .... To do you