Sunday, March 14, 2010

We Have To Be Good Sisters, Too

I wrote about the importance of having a sister to help you sort out some of the issues concerning femininity. Sisters and a sister circle in general also help you evolve into being the quality woman you wish to be.

Just as important as we transwomen finding a sister is being a good sister as well when you have the opportunity to do so.

It's hard to find those special women who become a long haul part of your life, will love you unconditionally and will honestly check you when you need it.

For us transwomen, it's tougher still for us to find them, and when we do we need to treat them as the rare and precious diamonds they are.

There are ciswomen who wish to bond and stand with us. Some of them have taken the next step and have stretched out their arms to some of our transisters to embrace them in friendship.

However, some transwomen who have been blessed enough to get the opportunity have botched it with nekulturny behavior to the point where those women will never give another transwoman a chance to build that type of relationship with her ever again. It's sad when that happens because those types of friendships are win-win opportunities for both parties.

As transwomen we have unique insights into how men think and interact with each other since some of us got to observe that on the other side of the gender fence.

The ciswoman has been immersed in femininity since birth. If she is a mother or in a relationship, she can also tell you what that experience is like in addition to sharing her personal joys and concerns with you.

She can also school you about the highs, lows and how to navigate being an estrogen based lifeform in a male dominated culture.

So when you discover you click with someone on that potentially deeper friendship level, remember for a moment that whether you like it or not, you are an ambassador for the trans community in everything you do, and that includes your personal interactions with other people.

Just be that sister she needs in her life.

So yes, if we want to find sisters, we have to be a good sister as well.

1 comment:

Kyría Ioánna said...

Word, Monica! That is so true and so beautiful. Thank you, sister.