Friday, July 25, 2014

Shut Up Fool Awards-Texans Opening 2014 Training Camp Edition

It  was not a great 2013 NFL for me or my fave NFL team.. year.  I had the worst year ever of NFL prognostication after coming into it as the defending champion against newbie Eli and Mike Watts.

Eli walked away with the 2013 prognostication title as I brought up the rear thanks largely to the Texans collapse..    

After starting out 2-0, they went 0-14 the rest of the way.   That led to longtime coach Gary Kubiak's firing after an embarrassing season sweep by Jacksonville and interim coach and defensive coordinator Wade Phillips and the rest of the coaching staff getting sacked after the season. in favor of Bill O' Brien.  
The 2-14 trainwreck of a season resulted in the Texans landing the number one draft pick which they used to select South Carolina DE Jadeveon Clowney.   

So another NFL season is rapidly approaching as the start of NFL training camps today around the country including here in H-town signals.   I'm also planning to redeem myself in this year's NFL prognostication contest and will have more details about who I'll be picking games against as we get closer to NFL Opening Weekend September 4-7.

But enough jibber-jabber about football.   It's Friday, and time for me to select our first round draft choices for our weekly TransGriot  Shut Up Fool Awards.  It's time to determine who needs to be sacked for their off the charts hypocrisy, willful ignorance and mind numbing stupidity.

So let's get to it

Honorable mention number one is a group award for the NFL.   You suspend Joshua Cribbs for a year for smoking weed, but Ray Rice knocking out his girlfriend turned wife only merits a two game suspension? 


Honorable mention number two is Governor Goodhair, AKA Rick Perry, (R-TX).  His pandering on the border is going to cost Texas taxpayers a few million dollar and not going to do anything to solve the humanitarian crisis of kids streaming north from Central America to escape narcogang violence our drug habits and lax gun laws unleashed. 

Honorable mention number three is Bert Farias, who laughably said that gay people are possessed by fart demons.   Hmm sounds like somebody had writer's block when they were compiling a sermon and was watching too much of the movie Dogma that night.

Honorable mention number four goes to the AFA's and Fox contributor Sandy Rios, who in her transphobic  rant against the POTUS' executive order opened her lips to say that transgender FBI agents will come after you.

Gee Sandy, what were you snorting to come up with that one? 

Honorable mention number five goes to Bryan Fischer, who engaged in more Obama Derangement Syndrome antics by stating that President Obama was going to use the Malaysian Airlines crash in Ukraine to advanmce his radical homosexual agenda

Bryan, we're tired of you lying through your teeth to advance your racist radical dominionist agenda. 

Honorable mention number six goes to Teabagger Ted Cruz.   The junior senator from Alberta parted his lips to say something else stupid by claiming the prudent FAA ban on US carriers flying into David Ben Gurion International Airport in Tel Aviv after Hamas rockets landed a mile from it was an 'economic boycott against Israel.  

You are an embarrassment to the once proud  legacy of Texas congressional and senatorial leaders

Honorable mention number seven is former NFL coach and analyst Tony Dungy, who opened his mouth and inserted cleats into it by hypocritically and homophobically stating he wouldn't have taken Michael Sam in the NFL draft because it would have been a 'distraction', then reversed himself when the condemnation for his comments started raining down on him. 

Guess you forgot that you were a 'distraction' when you were hired by the Tampa Bay Bucs as their head coach and the year you won the 'Soul Bowl' against Chicago 

Honorable mention number eight is Andrea James for once again selling out the trans community and trying to make the dead argument on behalf of gay males in a Queerty post about the t-word not being a slur when a majority of the community, and especially trans women of color have repeatedly said it is.

NugentThis week's SUF winner (or loser, take your pick) is Ted Nugent.   After two Native American tribes in Washington state and Idaho cancelled gigs for him at their casinos over his racist remarks, support of Daniel Snyder in keeping the offensive nickname of the Washington NFL Franchise and disrespecting Native American culture, Ted fired back by unleashing a diatribe against 'unclean vermin'.

Yeah, right he who didn't bathe for 30 days and crapped his pants so he could dodge getting drafted to fight in Vietnam

Ted Nugent, have several sections of seats at Ford Field and shut the hell up, fool!

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