Thursday, March 11, 2010

In Search Of A Sister

'A sister is a friend who loves you unconditionally and will always tell you the truth even if it hurts' Deborah Cox

The second many of us transwomen begin transition, we begin the search for a sister.

Not the biological ones which many of us have, and in some cases, fit the role described by Deborah Cox, but another kindred spirit who is just as important in shaping your growth and development as a woman in our society.

Due to the societal slings and arrows Black women face, it's critically important for transwomen of African descent to have a sister (or two or three) in her corner as well.

That sister can be either cis or trans, the same age, younger or older, just as wise or wise beyond her years. But the most important qualification is that she has your back.

I've been fortunate at different stages of my life to have such women in it and in my post transition life. They have helped me sort out issues, helped me get my act together in terms of my personal style and presentation, helped me get over 'unpretty' days, been that sympathetic ear as I vented my frustration about various issues or another, taken me to task when I have been giving less than one hundred percent in pursuing my goals and aspirations I have for myself and helped me tap into that inner diva.

Looking back at the early days of my transition to the Phenomenal Transwoman I am now, I can see how necessary it was to have a sister in my life and why I felt so out of sync until my first sister came along.

Until I had those sisters in my life and assembled that sister circle of spiritually tuned women around me, it was a bumpy ride in going from zero to femininity.

Some of those women I still call my friends. Others have faded out of my life and returned, while others have done so after teaching me the lessons I needed to learn at that particular juncture.

And sadly, some I've had in my life for a moment, and they have moved on.

But having those sisters in my life, past, present and future, is vital to Monica being and continuing to evolve into the best woman she can be.

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