Thursday, October 11, 2018

Happy National Coming Out Day 2018!

Happy National Coming Out Day!     This is the day set aside in which people in the TBLGQ community that are ready to do so come out publicly,  or tell their coming out stories.

Let me emphasize that previous point about coming out when you are ready to do so.   You don't have to do it today.  Only you will know when you are ready to do so.   My personal coming out didn't happen until April 4, 1994 even though it was decades in the making

So yes, be proud of who you are.   Don't let the hoopla of this day push you into making a decision that if you aren't ready for it, will have serious consequences.   You've got to be mentally ready to handle your post October 11 life which will have peaks and valleys in it.

But if you get through it, the rewards of coming out are a life BETTER than the one you were experiencing beforehand.

 As a trans person coming out, you will  gain an international family of trans folks who are some kick butt people in their own right.  You may even have moments as a trans person in which you get to do seemingly ordinary things that eventually put you in the history books.

So am I happy I did so?  Sure am.   Do I have any regrets about it?   No.  My life it more interesting and wonderful now than it was before April 4, 1994. The only regret I have is I didn't get to do it sooner. 

The one thing that didn't improve was my dating life.   It still sucks.

But in the nearly 25 years I have been publicly out, I've enjoyed every minute of it.   My family expanded, not contracted in the wake of it.   The people who have known me before transition have told me they've noticed I'm a happier, more gregarious person since that day. 

 I've gotten to do some things I never thought I'd do like go to the White House five times.   I've gotten to meet some amazing people along the way, and even better call many of them my friends.

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I have some cis girlfriends that push me to be a better person than I was the day before, and I'm blessed to have them in my life.  Same is true for my trans girlfriends as well

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Most important to me, I get called Aunt Monica by all you trans younglings.  I recognize that you are our next generation of trans folks, and I'm never too busy to drop what I'm going and have a conversation with you when you feel that you need it.   I enjoy those chats as much as y'all do.

I also get to meet, talk to and hang out with the Mama and Papa Bears who are raising that next generation of trans people to be the kick butt adults we know beyond a shadow of a doubt they will become.

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I get to do what I love in terms of writing, talking to peeps about our trans lives and fighting to advance our human rights.    At times I even get paid for it 

And the best is yet to come.   My life is still in a positive evolutionary state, and I'm still not done yet in terms of doing what I can to make this community better than when I encountered it.

But this amazing life wouldn't have happened if I hadn't taken that first step of clocking in at work on that fateful April 4, 1994 day

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