She's in her words "a lone transsexual advocate and a vocalist, one who performs without drag."
***
It is now exactly a month since the fateful segment on the
reality show Drag Race drew widespread condemnation from the transgender
population, and what is deemed as transphobic slurs have since been removed
from the show. There are discussions aplenty on where to draw the lines when it
comes to terms that are hurtful to transwomen, like “she-male”. Words do count,
but not for some who just refuse to understand how much influence words can
get, especially specific terms that society usually use to mock transwomen.
Society is too lazy to study Trans 101, and they will
eventually pick up information by what they observe along the way. People would
look to the idiot box and find RuPaul, a man, in drag. They will reason that
transwomen are males who drags like RuPaul. He uses “she-male” like nobody’s
business, so there cannot be anything wrong with it. And for RuPaul, all this
mash up is no big deal. But, it is. “She-male” is a term that is oft used to
shame transwomen into mere sex objects. Such words are meant to demean any
womanhood that any transwoman could have. It has all the motivations to
humiliate transwomen by reminding them of just how incomplete their lives are
with their bodies.
Do we hate him?
We hate RuPaul not because we have internalized transphobia;
we hate what the character RuPaul brings to the front. We hate the imagery he
represents because it is a caricature in which society determine how to define
a transwomen – a she-male, a drag, a shim, a cross-dresser. He turns us into
entertainment. He transforms the lives of transwomen into a Howard Stern styled
comedy. Many attacked RuPaul for being transphobic, but I really doubt it. He
may not even comprehend what the hell the outcry is about simply because he is
not really a transgender. He never knew what that means 20 over years ago, and
probably never will.
We are called to accept his drag world as a transgender representative, even by GLAAD’s definition of transgender. But he is not. His approach is one of a gay guy who thinks he is doing us a favour. That is the arrogance we so despise. We also cannot stand the fact that he still does not wish to learn from us. He has been ignoring the needs of the transgender population to be addressed with respect for many years.
Talking past each
other
Some of the comments I read from the blogs highlighting this
controversy, mention about policing of words. That this is transfacism. It is
actually far from it. This is about words created to impact a population. Words
come with its own definitions. Would a transwomen want to be described with
terms bearing male pronouns like “she-male” and “lady-boy”? Perhaps the reason
some insist there is nothing wrong with such derogatory words is obvious, is it
not? They want to use the word because they feel nothing, but we feel hurt.
Words like “tranny“ are widely used to bully children and verbally abuse
transsexuals. People who stand by RuPaul just could not relate to that.
The words are meant to harm, which is why one should avoid
using it. It has the power to degrade transwomen. It is easy to say we only
give strength to the word if we bother about them. It does not work for
transwomen. Because lest we forget, we are only less than 1% of the population.
These words determine whether we are fit for the next interview to get a room
for rent, or be forced back into the closet at churches. To drags and
cross-dressers, it is all about dressing part-time or dressing full-time, the
mentality is that transwomen are “really” genetically boys, as opposed to the
term “genetic girl” when addressing cisgender women.
The point that transgender activists have been trying to say
for the past month, is not only confined to that infamous game segment. It has
been echoed for years to even the majority straight population – we are not a
show, we are not freaks, so stop using media to turn us into jokes. But all
this while, RuPaul sees transwomen as only men in women’s clothing, like him.
There is not even one moment from him that shows he truly knows what it feels
being born in the wrong sex. He parrots the belief that we are all drag queens
in the end, and that some of us just decided to go further into hormones then
SRS, which is so painfully far from the truth.
RuPaul’s Ignorance
When RuPaul implied about revolution by citing Orwell’s
Animal Farm, he is talking about his own “drag queen” revolution that has very
little to do with any revolutions that may or may not take place in
transwomen’s world, a world that needs protection from the flurry of abuses
that are generated by a vastly transphobic generation, and meant to punish
transwomen; RuPaul would accidentally be behind another face of his revolution,
one that is directly against transwomen.
He does not realize that in defense of words like
“she-male”, he shows little understanding of how much damage it would have on
trans women, all the while as he removes his makeup and pumped up dresses after
shows to be Andre Charles again, with his package of male privileges. For him,
it is his art, jumping into womanhood for a while, after being RuPaul for
several hours.
But, for tens of thousands of transwomen, it is not an art.
It is not an entertainment or a game. Gender Identity Dysphoria is a real
condition that affects lives. Transwomen born with it need to transition. Their
body mapping must change to accommodate their brain sex, and the intense
distress is painful and lifelong. While he sits in his car out of drag, and
heads for home after his show, many transwomen would be struggling to hold on
to their jobs, and some may even encounter violence. RuPaul can jump out of his
drag. Transwomen cannot jump out of their skin and be non-transgender.
RuPaul would expect us to “toughen up” and be “queen”. But we are tough, only not queens. We are simply women, but women who are tough because we have to endure hundreds of hazardous situations he most likely will not encounter even once in his life. And he is not helping. Until this gets into the thick skull of his and every other sympathizers he has, the discussion will not go anywhere.
RuPaul would expect us to “toughen up” and be “queen”. But we are tough, only not queens. We are simply women, but women who are tough because we have to endure hundreds of hazardous situations he most likely will not encounter even once in his life. And he is not helping. Until this gets into the thick skull of his and every other sympathizers he has, the discussion will not go anywhere.
Visibility breeds
stereotypes
And people assume transwomen are “in-drag”. So people would
disparage transwomen, and forcefully consider them men. Religious conservatives
always lay claim to a “change” of “gay lifestyle” if transwomen want to. And
those with lesser knowledge would just brand transwomen as a life choice, and
when difficulties arise, sometimes even life-threatening, it is “really”
transwomen’s fault because we “choose to drag”.
As transwomen, we wish we could just say to hell with the world. Unfortunately, as a minority at the mercy of a general public who find transwomen useful for tease and ridicule at best (and we do not wish to be reminded what happens at worst), what society think of us does count; it affects our jobs, our insurance, our education, our relationships, everything. And we already have to bear with misrepresentations from religious fundamentalists painting us all as child predators, rapists and fetishists.
Having RuPaul and his show amplifies even more stereotypes of transwomen. We should go even as far as to say he is abetting bullying of transgender children, and encouraging verbal abuse towards transgender people. After all, words are not sticks and stones, right? NOT.
As transwomen, we wish we could just say to hell with the world. Unfortunately, as a minority at the mercy of a general public who find transwomen useful for tease and ridicule at best (and we do not wish to be reminded what happens at worst), what society think of us does count; it affects our jobs, our insurance, our education, our relationships, everything. And we already have to bear with misrepresentations from religious fundamentalists painting us all as child predators, rapists and fetishists.
Having RuPaul and his show amplifies even more stereotypes of transwomen. We should go even as far as to say he is abetting bullying of transgender children, and encouraging verbal abuse towards transgender people. After all, words are not sticks and stones, right? NOT.
The bigger questions
This is perhaps an appropriate period for us to ponder, what
really is transgender now? Should RuPaul be even considered a transgender?
While the American Psychological Association includes drag queens in its
definition for transgender, many trans people have started to address
themselves as transsexual and not transgender, simply because of the disparity
in experiences of people born with gender identity dysphoria, and the rest
under the transgender umbrella.
Is it not time to correctly address transsexuals as transsexuals and drag queens as drag queens? If we were to say drag queens are transgender, would we not have to include bio queens as well? Or even some animals in drag? Is it not time to consider a more accurate definition of transgender in GLAAD and other trans resources? Should RuPaul even be associated with the “T” still?
Maybe RuPaul is far from transphobic and has the right to use whatever word he wants; but he or any cross-dresser, drag queen, or any men who dresses as women, could and should spare a thought for transwomen afflicted by being born trans. Unlike them, because any claims of sensitizing society is offset by their own misuse of words that attacks transwomen, the incongruence suffered by transwomen is real.
For transwomen, it is not about dressing, let alone over-the-top with a face buried in tons of makeup and purposely deepening their voices. We are living our lives. RuPaul would do well continuing his work, but not at the extent of creating collateral damage on the lives of transwomen everywhere.
Someone should start knocking a hard fact into RuPaul; the difference between a drag queen and a transgender, is that everybody can be a drag queen, even the queen of England. Not everyone can be a transgender, and for those who are unfortunately born transwomen, their lives are problematic enough without being trivialized by RuPaul.
Is it not time to correctly address transsexuals as transsexuals and drag queens as drag queens? If we were to say drag queens are transgender, would we not have to include bio queens as well? Or even some animals in drag? Is it not time to consider a more accurate definition of transgender in GLAAD and other trans resources? Should RuPaul even be associated with the “T” still?
Maybe RuPaul is far from transphobic and has the right to use whatever word he wants; but he or any cross-dresser, drag queen, or any men who dresses as women, could and should spare a thought for transwomen afflicted by being born trans. Unlike them, because any claims of sensitizing society is offset by their own misuse of words that attacks transwomen, the incongruence suffered by transwomen is real.
For transwomen, it is not about dressing, let alone over-the-top with a face buried in tons of makeup and purposely deepening their voices. We are living our lives. RuPaul would do well continuing his work, but not at the extent of creating collateral damage on the lives of transwomen everywhere.
Someone should start knocking a hard fact into RuPaul; the difference between a drag queen and a transgender, is that everybody can be a drag queen, even the queen of England. Not everyone can be a transgender, and for those who are unfortunately born transwomen, their lives are problematic enough without being trivialized by RuPaul.
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