Thursday, August 06, 2015

Once Again, Dating A Trans Woman Doesn't Make A Cis Man Gay

There are rumors that actor Keanu Reeves is dating actress Jamie Clayton.   Hey, if it's true I couldn't be happier for them as a couple and hope it lasts a while for both of them.

As to people who are tripping about it, your problem with this relationship would be what? That Jamie is a girl like us?  

I repeat, and your problem with that would be?

Once again I and other trans women around the Net are going to have to remind some of you clueless cis peeps that are going to salaciously go there and either misgender Clayton or question Reeves' sexuality about a couple of salient points.

The first point I need to make is that trans women are women, regardless of the genitalia configuration in our panties, which by the way is none of your business. 

Second, gender identity and sexual orientation are separate and distinct issues. Sexual orientation is who you like to go to bed with, gender identity is the person who you go to bed as.

There are guys who prefer or like to date trans women.. It's no different that guys who like blondes, brunettes, women with short or long hair, Black, White, Latina or Asian women, full figured women, women with slim builds, big breasts, A cup breasts, short women, tall women....you get the picture.

And it's not like trans women who are attracted to men don't have the qualities that allow us to get and keep whatever man we want.that is attracted to us.  Some of us so moved those guys hearts they hurried up, put a ring on our fingers and married us.

And in many cases, they have been so happy they did so.

Trans women come in all shapes, sizes, ethnic backgrounds and types just like our cis feminine counterparts.  Just as there are tall girls like me, I also know petite, size 8 shoe wearing girl like us divas and that 'linebacker in a dress' stereotype is so disco era.. Remember, some of my sisters are drop dead gorgeous and photogenic enough to have been walking the world's fashion runways since the 60's.

And even if they aren't walking runways, I personally know enough attractive, smart, and talented trans women who would make nice partners for anyone who gave themselves the chance and the opportunity to at least go on a date or two and get to know us.

We trans women are not only looking for love, we deserve to be loved, too.

So no, I'm not surprised that Jamie Clayton is dating Keanu Reeves if it's true.  Let's be real, Jamie is one attractive girl, and sooner or later somebody was going to romantically step to her.  .It's not like guys in Hollywood haven't been averse to dating trans women, they were doing so back in the day and still are.

Unfortunately some of those relationships were on the down low, and when the paparazzi or the tabloids finally caught up with them, the trans woman would get thrown under the publicity bus.

I'm hoping that if this is true, that it sparks a conversation about the men who love us inside and outside Trans World.   It's one we've needed to have for a long time.

Another conversation we have need to have is dispelling the jacked up and misgendering myth that a cis man dating a transwoman automatically makes his gay, and it needs to die.  What you are doing when you say that is erase the femininity of the trans woman in question and misgendering her, and that's mighty transphobic of you when you do so.

So no, dating a trans woman doesn't make a cis man gay.   Daring another man, trans or cis does.

TransGriot Note:  The photos in this post are of Jamie Clayton, Harisu, Angelica Ross, Lea T. and Geena Rocero.

1 comment:

Brian Bixby said...

I know I'm not gay or bi because I prefer trans women. Whether she is ore op or post op she is still a woman. Bbixby70@gmail.con