Monday, July 04, 2011

It's The USA All The Way

Once again a certain Canadian resident started ODing on Canadian Club, too much Molson's and national pride in the runup to celebrating Canada Day and decided to extol on the virtues of her home and native land while dissing mine.

Sparky decided to join in the fun on behalf of our one time colonial masters Great Britain, and I'll deal with him later.   But for now, once again I'll have to talk about the virtues of the USA.

1. Wanna talk about patience?  Let's talk about the patience it takes being in the 'Damned if we do, damned if we don't' position of a superpower. If we don't act militarily or don't speak forcefully about a human rights issues we get castigated for it, and if we do act or call people out about their jacked up human rights situations we're verbally pimped slapped by peeps for doing so.

2. Battlestar Galactica, one of my fave shows was filmed in Vancouver, but many others and some of my favorite movies are filmed in Hollywood, New York, Chicago and the ATL just for starters.  

3. Bilingual country?   Despite the attempts of conservafools to pass 'English only' laws in the Etats-Unis, the Estados Unidos has no official language.   Out of the 310 million people who reside inside our borders, many do speak a wide variety of languages besides French, Spanish and American English
4. American Idol?  Please, I stopped caring about who won that show long ago much less who hosts it no matter what side of the 49th parallel it's broadcast on.   NBC's The Voice is the show now.  American Idol is yesterday's news..

5.  That wasn't the first time Vancouver rioted after losing the Stanley Cup to an American based NHL squad.  They did the same thing after the New York Rangers beat them in seven games back in 1994.

Moving on to more important news,  the International Ice Hockey Federation three time women's hockey world champions wear red, white and blue uniforms, sing 'The Star Spangled Banner' and beat Canada for the third straight time in the IIHF finals to get that trophy and the gold medal.  Maybe you'll win playing 'your game' in 2012, but my girls have the medals and the trophy in their possession and are working on an IIHF fourpeat.

6. On the point to Sparky about French fries, I'm in complete agreement with you.  And no conservafools, quit hatin' on the French, they are not 'freedom fries' as y'all childishly called them.  But my preferred flavors for potato chips are barbecue ones or just the classic plain ones.  The mesquite flavored BBQ ones appeal even more to me as a Texan, and if they're kettle chips, even better.

7. Thanks to America's rep as a melting pot for the world we get talented scientific minds from around the world to come to our shores and our colleges and universities from their homelands such as Albert Einstein, Enrico Fermi and Philip Emaegwali.  Canadian artists such as Tamia and Deborah Cox came south from Windsor and Toronto to not only get paid but grace our radio dials with their lovely voices.  In Tamia's case she got a handsome husband (NBA baller Grant Hill) and child out of the deal.

8. Our national symbol can do more than just poop on you, it will straight up do some serious damage with its talons if you get in its way.   The F-15 Eagle namesake is one of the best fighters on the planet and just as deadly as well.  If you think I'm sellin' woof tickets on that point, ask many of the pilots of other international  air forces who have had the misfortune of being shot down by them.

9. One of the first things that happened when we kicked the Brits to the curb after the Revolutionary War ended in 1781 was Noah Webster (of Webster's Dictionary fame and cousin of famed orator Daniel Webster) changing the spellings of many English words when he compiled the first editions of his best selling dictionaries.   He wished to ensure the English we spoke would be demonstrably different from the brand spoken on the other side of The Pond.

Regional differences in the states over the centuries would continue to ensure the American English evolution.    Y'all feel me?

10. The Canadian side of the falls is prettier?  Really?   Our side has been a New York state park for 125 years and doesn't have that pesky development encroaching upon it like yours does .  

As for your gift suggestions, as much as the conservafools would like to, no way will the rest of us sane Americans give y'all the FLOTUS and POTUS.   We like having an intelligent First Couple of African descent at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue representing us on the world stage.  Besides, the POTUS  has another election to go through next year and President Obama's work on this side of the 49th parallel isn't done yet. 

Maybe we can talk about that on January 20, 2017.   And maybe with a little unity you too can one day have a cool African descended prime minister with swagger representing Canada. 

The Sweater Vest?  And Alberta to go with it?  We have enough home grown conservafools down here to deal with especially in Texas. We don't need any help from the ones in Wild Rose country and Little Alberta, AKA Saskatchewan adding to our drama. 

On that note, in a few hours it'll be time for me to start getting my grub and drink on.  Since we're in drought conditions, won't get the fireworks this year.    By the way my drink of choice is Mike's Hard Lemonade or amaretto sours, not malt liquor.     

Doesn't that meat look delicious?   And no, I'll be putting barbecue sauce on that, not ketchup.   Then again, why spoil such delectable beef after it cooks over a mesquite wood smoked fire with sauce?

And after chowing down on that BBQ and whatever delicious sides come with it, I'll sit down and have some Blue Bell Homemade in the Shade ice cream with it since it's on sale this week .  

I'll conclude this post rebutting your July 1 nonsense with every American's favorite song on this day:


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