Sunday, June 07, 2009

Pink Sheep Of The Family

One of the things that's a major concern for a transperson is their relationship with their family after you drop the bomb about your transition.

You are aware before you swallow your first hormone or inject yourself that the familial reaction can run the gamut from total acceptance to never being invited to a family reunion for the rest of your life.

It's a little more painful for an African-American transperson because we tend to place heightened cultural importance on familial relationships.

I talk to my mom and sister on a weekly basis and the relatives that do love and care about me from time to time. The reactions in my family to my transition ranged from relatives who don't want anything to do with me to outright acceptance by others.

While family ties are important, it was more important that I be my authentic self. In order to be the best person I could be and live an honest, happy and productive life it became imperative for me to transition.

I just reached a point in my life where I wasn't going to be stuck any longer in a gender role that didn't fit me and made me miserable just to make other peeps comfortable.

The way I see it, if your blood family is tripping, make your own. I'm also fond of saying that a transperson's family expands after transition, not contracts.

I'm blessed to have a diverse, international group of people I call my brothers and sisters and friends as well. If some peeps in my family see my being a transperson as a reason not to talk to me any more, or hide behind the Bible as an excuse to cut familial ties with me, then it's their loss.

So if that makes me the pink sheep in the family, then so be it.

1 comment:


Hi Monica,

As a minister, I still don't understand WHERE the Bible has anything at all to do with fetal formation misplacement.

I hope you are not offended by my terminology but I will explain.

I use the term "fetal formation misplacement" to describe why transgender persons are transgender.

Feel free to tell me if this explanation is completely stupid but I feel that genetic misplacement suggests that transgender persons did not have the same sort of fetal development process as others.

For this reason, the specific biochemistry that belongs with the anatomy does not match up.

For someone to pull out the Bible saying "oh that's not of God" then what about the baby who is born connected to another baby's head? Clearly, something occurred during fetal development for that to occur. And no, I am not comparing transgender persons with two-headed babies.

I am just saying that things happen during fetal development and I don't know why there are people who are trying to use the Bible to refute that.

Peace, blessings and DUNAMIS!