Hypocritical Houston Christian

Team HERO and all of us who supported the passage of our newly minted human rights ordinance were surprised to hear that one of the kneegrow ministers used by Dave Welch as his spokessellouts has been revealed to be an accused sexual harasser.

You know what they say about when you dig a hole for others....

So it occurred to me this situation was just begging for a song rewrite, and I ran across the perfect song for it.  

So y'all know the drill.   Fire up your iPod's and favorite music programs as you sing along to Moni's remixed lyrics

Hypocritical Houston Christian
(sung to the tune of  'Happy Birthday Mr. Christian' by Apollonia 6)

Discrimination in H-town, needs to be dealt with fast
Mayor Parker proposed the HERO, and the ordinance needs to pass
Megachurches hated it, and played up transphobic fears
In their attempt to kill HERO, they trotted out bathroom smears

Hypocritical Houston Christian, that's what y'all like to do
We want human rights coverage, it's us you wanna screw
A man in your position, U oughta be ashamed
Hypocritical Houston Christian, why can't U live up 2 your name?

It was only late April, but the lie developed quick
The Pastor's Council and the sellout claimed all transpeople were sick
While the Christians lied on us always, transfolks were in pain
News dropped he was a sexual harasser, that's when the narrative changed

Hypocritical Houston Christian, that's what y'all like to do
We want human rights coverage, it's us you wanna screw
A man in your position, U oughta be ashamed
Hypocritical Houston Christian, why can't U live up 2 your name?

Hypocritical Christian, U're a bad boy
That's not in my job description ... shame
Hypocritical Christians, U're a bad boy
Why can't U live up 2 your name?

Your sins were in the report form
The OIG laid your case out this way 
You're an accused sexual harasser
And that crap is not okay
When Mayor Parker called your butt out
Was a riddle 2 everyone
Except your accuser
The mayor, OIG and you son 

Hypocritical Houston Christian, that's what y'all like to do
We want human rights coverage, it's us you wanna screw
A man in your position, U oughta be ashamed
Hypocritical Houston Christian, why can't U live up 2 your name?

Hypocritical Houston Christian
What are we gonna do?
We want human rights coverage
It's us you wanna screw

No tengo tiempo para jugar {I have no time 2 play games}
Necesito un hombre verdadero, no metido {I need a real man, not a liar}
Always a man
Tú sí que no te enteras, chaval, OK? {U don't understand, boy, OK?}
Qué hacemos? {What are we gonna do?}
Habla fuerte que no te oigo! {Speak louder cuz I can't hear U!}
Christian! Christian! Christian!

Oh Hypocritcal Christian, U're a bad boy

Christian
Give me some horns, oh
I like it

Christian! {x4}

Hypocritical are U, Hypocritical are U
Hypocritical Houston Christian, Hypocritical are U

Hypocritical Houston Christian