Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Letter to Ashley and Autumn

TransGriot Note:  Guest post from Antonia E. D'orsay 

I know that question to you two right now is not going to be very nice. Especially coming from me, when both of you likely know I'm pretty upset with this whole mess.

So I'm going to ask you, each, How much do you *really* care about making lives better for trans people?

What are you willing to sacrifice, to give up, to surrender, to set aside in the effort to do things like get a non discrimination act passed or to end the stigma and shame associated with being trans, or to take GID out of the DSM or to stop newspapers from printing really stupid and horribly insulting stuff about us?

Are you willing to die for what you believe in? Autumn, are you willing to take a bullet over calling Ashley out? Ashley, are you willing to be beaten and tortured over Autumn being a member of this "gay inc" thing you talk about?

Ashley, are you willing to have your life ended over this division you promote between "transvestites" and "transsexuals"? Autumn, are you willing to be thrown literally to the lions to make sure that even someone like Jennifer Usher has a chance to be treated fairly?

I'm not saying that you have to be willing to do those things. If you are not, that's ok. But how far are you willing to go to make these things happen? Will you give up some belief?

Autumn, would be be willing to say that Ashley is right if it means that a real ENDA is passed?

Ashley, would you be willing to say that maybe transvestites are little different from transsexuals if it means people would stop using the word tranny?

How much do you *really* care about these things? Seriously.

Think on that. You don't have to reply here -- both of you know my email addy is tonidorsay@msn.com. I also don't give a damn if you don't like each other.

But both of you have been deeply irresponsible -- and keep in mind that if *I* am the one telling you this, when my reputation is that of a loose cannon who fires off at friend or foe with equal abandon, then there's a serious problem here that will undermine all the work both of you have done.

I would like a reply, though. And it is only fair for me to say that it would not be private. Your reply will be something I talk about.

Answer that question, and we can start to see something far more important than anything either of you have done.

Oh, and while I'm at it, and before you both unfriend me for being the ever irascible Dyssonance, have either of you made your five dollar donation to This Is H.O.W. yet?

http://www.thisishow.org/ is a place that has helped over 300 trans folk of all sorts, all kinds, all shapes and sizes in the last four years. It deals with substance abuse, with freeing one's self from the world of sex work, with escaping domestic violence, with recovering from rape, and more. Most of the people helped are men and women of color, who have it so hard that anything the three of us combined have gone through is a walk in the park.

It takes 5000 dollars every three months to keep the doors open. I'm asking for 1000 people to donate 5 dollars each. That's all. If I can get that 1000 people to do that 4 times a year, I can keep TIH open and actually grow the organization and expand the services to other cities and other states.

And, as ever, both of you are absolutely free to come over to Phoenix and tell me off to my face any time you'd like. Or just have a cup of coffee and take a tour of TIH's Residence and community Room.

But answer that question and make that donation. Because right now, the two of you just started something that is not going to go smoothly, and to be perfectly frank, I'd appreciate and end to it fairly soon since my phone has been ringing off the hook for the last three days and I'm getting ten to fifteen emails a day about this whole thing.

I'd like to diffuse the situation. Or at least shift the discussion away from you two as people.

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