Wednesday, February 14, 2018
Happy Valentine's Day 2018
For those of you who are happily married, engaged, or booed up on this day for lovers I'm not mad at you. I'll just be buying my own chocolate instead of having someone get it for me.
While I have a lot of talents in various areas, there are some things that have been difficult for me to have happen for me in my life. One of those difficult things for me is being in a sustained long term relationship. Maybe it was because I missed the signs early or the right person still hasn't come into my life yet, but I'm still single. I envy you peeps who are happily coupled, with or without a marriage license.
I knew when I transitioned in 1994 that one of the things that could possibly happen is I could possibly be spending the rest of my life by myself and never be in a committed relationship again because it's hard for a trans women, and especially Black trans women to find love.
More often than not in the early years of my transition I saw marriages contentiously break up because one partner transitioned.
I was also blessed to have a ringside seat as Nikki Loyd found love with Will while simultaneously fighting for and winning her landmark Araguz v. Delgado case that cemented the right for Texas trans people to get legally married It's been fun to see how their fab life has transpired since that court victory, because it's obvious when I'm spending quality time around them they are still madly in love with each other.
To borrow the words of the comedian J. Anthony Brown, 'same sex marriage, same relationship drama'.
But those conversations are going to have to be had and led by trans attracted men.
As much as we trans women would like that set of 'they unapologetically love trans women' epiphanies to happen like yesterday, just as we trans people have had to give people time to come to grips with our trans evolutionary process, we must do the same for trans attracted men.
Once the trans attracted men evolve, one of the things that must happen in the wake of that is they will need to come out of the shadows and unequivocally state that they love us, there's nothing wrong with that, and society can kiss their azzes if they don't like it.
And that might take a celebrity doing that to break that psychic door down or our younger generations making that happen.
So to all of you peeps who are booed up on this day or well on your way to jumping the broom into the land of matrimony, congratulations. I'll be on the sideline cheering you on and hoping for all of you to have long, healthy and happy relationships, no matter what it looks like to the outside world or what genitalia is concealed in your underwear.
.Happy Valentine's Day people!