Moni's Excellent LI Adventure

I had the honor and pleasure of being the keynote speaker for the LITDOR on Sunday. Even though the invitation was extended months in advance, by the time the actual date approached I was ready for another trip out of Da Ville.

I usually don't like flying the day of my speaking engagements because as a former airline employee, I am intimately familiar with ATC delays and how capricious they can be at times. Air travel can be stress inducing enough without adding the concern that you're going to be delayed for an event you are the one of the participants in, but it worked out this time.

I crawled out of bed at 4 AM to get ready for my flight and when I was satisfied, I woke Dawn up at 4:55 AM to drop me off at the airport. My flight wasn't leaving until 6:10 AM and I already knew from the Bryn Mawr trip that the checkpoint doesn't open until 5:30 AM.

Got checked in at the US Airways counter and as I was clearing the security checkpoint I set off the alarm. I'd forgotten to take off my belt, which has a large metal buckle.

I take it off and as a precaution took off my earrings as well. Once again as I walk through I hear the annoying beep again, and realize at that moment it's the underwire bra I'm wearing that was the culprit. I ended up getting hand wanded and pat down searched by a friendly female TSA officer before I could proceed to my gate.

I finally get to the gate as my regional jet flight is boarding, so my timing is perfect despite the unexpected extra time I spent clearing TSA security. Once I get settled in my seat I pulled out my speech and started reviewing and making corrections to it as we pushed off the gate to begin my airborne journey to Philadelphia and my subsequent connecting flight to Islip.

Had a beautiful late fall morning with a beautiful sunrise as we streaked eastward with plenty of visibility. As we crossed the Appalachian Mountains it got a little bumpy and the cloud cover started thickening up below us. I also noted the thick blanket of snow that had been dropped in some parts of the mountains as we got closer to Philly.

We landed and I made my way to my connecting gate. I noted that this Islip leg was going to be on a Dash-8 turboprop, and the last time I'd flown one of those was on the Pittsburgh-Lexington return leg of my trip back home to bury my grandmother in 2002.

I'm a jet fan, be they regional or big birds. I detest turboprops because of the noise, and to make matters worse my seat was right by the engines.

I also knew we were going to be flying for a few minutes of the flight over the Atlantic Ocean before landing in Islip. While I'm blessed with many talents, swimming isn't one of them.

The flight was uneventful but I was nervous from the time the New Jersey shoreline receded from my view until I saw the welcome sight of the southern Long Island coastline.

We finally land at MacArthur International in Islip and Eileen is there to greet me as I exit into the airport's lobby area. After checking in to my nearby hotel and dropping off my bags we went on a mini tour of Long Island.

My flight arrived early, so Eileen and I had two hours to kill before we met the rest of the LITDOR gang at a restaurant in Centerpoint. I ended up taking a little stroll down the Jones Beach Boardwalk, discussing various trans political and other issues with Eileen before we took off for the restaurant.

We also ended up on the iconic Long Island Expressway for a few minutes and I chuckled when we passed the Amityville exit before we walked into the restaurant a little after 1 PM.

The restaurant was in some rolling, forested hills next to a picturesque lake framed with fall foliage. The food was great but my positive mood took a hit a few minutes later.

I'm the only African-descended person at the table with a group of twenty people and one of the waiters has a pronoun problem only with moi. First time is an accident, second time is deliberate, and the third time after I've advised you not to do so is a major indicator you are disrespecting me. At that point the USS Monica goes on Defcon 1 status and launches verbal Tomahawks at the fool or fools in question.

I politely told him the first time I didn't appreciate being 'sirred'. When he did it the second time, had I been back in Da Ville, I would have politely gone verbally nuclear on his behind, found the manager, told them why and walked out. My hosts were appalled and not too thrilled about it either.

But my pissivity over the Afro-transphobic waiter lessened as the LITDOR gang surprised me with a t-shirt and other Long Island themed gifts since it was my first trip there.


I get dropped off at the hotel after 4 PM to take a nap. I'd been up at this point since 4 AM and definitely needed it. I managed to get almost two hours in before I was awakened by the alarm clock to get ready for the LITDOR service that was starting at 7 PM.

Arianna scooped me up and got me to the church for a LITDOR service was a wonderful blend of music, spoken personal testimonies by various LITDOR members and Native American spirituality.

Then it was my turn to do my speech after a wonderful introduction by Juli, who was at the IFGE convention in Philly for my 2006 Trinity acceptance speech that still gets positive commentary three years later.

I was also surprised and flattered to see a July 2007 poem that I'd written on TransGriot called 'Don't Disrespect Me' printed as part of the program.

Not sure if this keynote speech was on the level of the 2006 IFGE one, but the audience liked it, and that's all I really cared about. I was interrupted by applause once before I finished it.

After the names are read by LITDOR members from various corners of the room and the benediction by Rev. Bigelow, we close the service with a rendition of 'Amazing Grace' before Eileen and I jointly blew out the single large candle resting on the altar draped with a transgender flag different from the Monica Helms designed white pink and blue version to conclude the service.

I found out how much the attendees liked the speech at the reception. One person after another sought me out over the next two hours and told me me how much they enjoyed the speech, TransGriot, or both. I also had the interesting and humbling experience of being asked for my autograph by a Black transman named Christian. As I signed his program he expressed how proud he was to see me standing there and eloquently speak about our fallen brothers and sisters.

Ended up in some substantive conversations with many of the attendees on a wide variety of subjects before heading back to the hotel and get some sleep for the return trip back to Da Ville

Said my goodbyes to Eileen and quietly autographed the extra copy of the speech she had for me before I entered the Islip terminal. This time to avoid what happened in Louisville I made sure that any foundation garments I was wearing didn't have metal in them.

On my PHL layover ran into the same ground personnel who had kicked my Islip flight out the day before. I had a wonderful chat with them before I headed for my gate for my Louisville bound flight.

One of the cool things about the trans community is that your family expands, not contracts. I added some new family members and had a wonderful time in the process despite the solemn reason I was on Long Island in the first place.

Once again, I thank the LITDOR gang for inviting me to speak at their event. I knew I had a tough act to follow in Diego Sanchez and the other keynoters who have graced that event. Looking forward to hanging out with the LITDOR gang sometime and somewhere in the near future.