Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Why Were Y'all 'Scurred' Of This Trans Attracted Men Panel?

'I refuse to believe that there's something wrong with a man that is attracted to me, the way that I am'.
--Bryanna Jenkins

Still not happy about the bull feces that transpired in Chicago last week that resulted in the shutdown of the Trans Attracted men panel that was supposed to take place during NBJC's Black Institute.

The peeps who shut it down were high fiving themselves and cheesing for the cameras after they did so, but now that the backlash from their ill thought out action is smacking their millennial asses in the face, now they are furiously trying to moonwalk and spin their way out of it.

Naw boo boo kitties.  Too late now.

But the questions I and a lot of people have been asking in the wake of this action is what was the real reason motivating them to shut down this trans attracted men panel in the first place?  Why was that cadre of Black trans women so 'scurred' of trans attracted men telling their stories and their truths as they see them?  

Bryanna Jenkins has an interesting take on it that I agree with that I'm going to piggyback off of it.

But I still have to ask the question why were they so  'scurred' of the trans attracted men panel enough to launch a shut down protest of it?  And spare me the lies you used to attempt to justify last Thursday's action.

I would love to find out how many of those #CC16 protest girls were post op.  I agree there are post ops who are chasing pseudo cis privilege and believe because they have genital surgery, they are 'better than' pre-op or non-op trans women.  That divide combined with unacknowledged dysphoria around our trans feminine bodies causes problems in our trans feminine ranks.

Bottom line ladies, is the Religious Reich doesn't care whether we identify as pre-op, post-op or non-op.  They hate all of us with a foaming at the mouth passion and if they had their way, would like nothing better than to throw us into detention camps and forcibly make us all detransition.

Back to the post.  

What the trans attracted men conversation would have done had it been allowed to happen would have been to blow that pseudo cis privilege up and many assumptions trans women base their lives on.  It would have revealed that yes, some trans attracted men prefer non-op or pre-op trans women, and perusing Craigslist would easily back that assertion up.  It's also worth noting that the number one type of porn that flies off the shelves is porn featuring non-op or pre-op trans women .

That  trans attracted man conversation would have allowed them to declare to the world they unconditionally love us, and that there is nothing wrong or shame inducing in doing so.

It would have allowed them to call out the trans attracted men who are abusive to their mates or have killed their partners.  And that conversation would have allowed us to hear from their own mouths what is going on in the minds of trans attracted men and how they see us.

It would also give us a window into how the trans attracted man thinks.

And as Cheryl Courtney-Evans said in a comment she posted on Bryanna's page, "This conversation desperately needs to be had...the more this is discussed with our male supporters, the less stigma will be attached to our relationships in general, which adds to the value of ALL our lives. "

Amen Cheryl!

But that conversation didn't happen Thursday. However what you misguided trans women did do is create demand for those necessary trans attracted men conversations to be held across the country

So some of y'all can be 'scurred' all you want and try to spin what you did as `defending your sisters`   What y`all did was stifle a conversation from happening, and no amount of spin will kill the reality of that,

While you were temorarily successful in doing so, the trans adults in the room are willing ready and eager  to hear that adult conversation y`all created through your action more interest in around the country.


Unknown said...
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Zach Miller said...
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Zach Miller said...

Monica, I come to you as peacefully as I can. I've held my tongue because honestly it isn't my place to speak on this, but when you publicly insult the woman I love dearly by reducing her actions and beliefs to her genitalia, I am too moved to hold my silence. Again, I mean this in a peaceful way and I mean no disrepect. I don't know you, but I can tell you've been a big part in the movement. For that, I thank you. But transwomen are too often objectified by your genitalia. I am very disheartened and also angry that you would publicly humiliate other transwomen by speculating on their genitalia. Whatever their op status, know that the speculation of their genitalia brings painful harassment by cispersons DAILY. I can't understand why another transwoman would add to this when you personally know how that feels.

You are absolutely right. This panel needs to happen. However, when it happens, it needed to be done by men who love transwomen CORRECTLY. I know you are angry about the way the took over happened, but please know that these girls went to the only person they knew to and nothing was done.

Transwomen are DYING, Monica. Dying. And transwomen of color especially are being targeted, not only by transphobic men on the street, but also by men who are attracted to them. This is why it is so important that the panel does not include someone who is attracted and VIOLENT toward them.

I love my woman because she is an intelligent, outspoken, articulate, caring, strong, black woman. And it is because of these beautiful characteristics that she will not sit quietly by while a man who abused her sister and has abused other transwomen is praised for being attracted to them. This is HURTFUL to the women he's harmed.

We CANNOT shame transwomen who come forward to speak on violence. Monica, I am pleading with you to stop because by shaming the victims, you are sending a message that transwomen are not to be believed over cismen. The other women out there who need to come forward see the backlash that has come about. What are you saying to them?

I can tell you my girl was afraid, but she did it despite her fear because it is important to her that women like yourself know that you do deserved to be loved. But you deserved to be loved correctly, without violence.