Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Message To The Men Who Want To Love Us

It takes balls pardon the pun to be a transwoman. We go through a lot of crap just to be the women we are and any cisgender man who steps to us romantically needs to recognize that fact first and foremost.

No insecure men or playa-playas need apply when it comes to the job of being our mates because you are going to get a lot of bull feces from society for dating a transwoman, be she pre, post or non-op.

You are going to need to be more man than you usually are in a relationship with a transwoman. She has to fight so many battles just to exist in this world and have her femininity respected and will need a little extra TLC to get past that.

Despite the shade thrown at us from our detractors we are not 'men' despite the time we spent on the other side of the gender fence. She doesn't need additional drama in her romantic life from the man that claims to love her.   She doesn't need to come home to a man who lies to her, cheats on her, or in the middle of an argument slips up and calls her a 'man' or some other misgendering epithet in the middle of said argument.

She also doesn't need you threatening to leave her for a 'real woman' because 'you can't have my child.'

Just like you expect us to accept you 'menz' being works in progress, so are we.  Transwomen are just like any other women on the planet in terms of our ongoing evolution and maturation into becoming the best persons we can be. 

So the first way to frack up with us is treat us like one of your homeboys.   Transwomen like flowers, candy, and being wined and dined just like any other estrogen based lifeform on the planet.  If you aren't fully committed to dealing with the fact that you are going to have to step up your romantic game to make a transwoman feel safe, secure, desired and wanted in this relationship so she feels comfortable enough to reciprocate, or you have a fetishistic attraction to transwomen, then don't step to her.

Bottom line, love us and step to us like you would a cis woman.   If you do that, you'll find you'll get major cool points from said transwomen for doing so.  

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