Have No Problem With Peeps Detransitioning - Until They Start Attacking The Trans Community

It's why detransition is such a contentious topic in the transgender community.  We get prickly about it not only because of our own personal psychic and sweat equity investments in perfecting our gender presentations and gender identities to the world, but by the awareness that far too often some of the people who do detransition become the trans equivalent of 'Ex Gays'. 
-TransGriot August 15, 2013 

One of the things I haven't talked about much on this blog is the subject of detransition, because frankly, when 95% of the people who transition are leading happier lives despite some of the challenges and that satisfaction percentage shoots up to 98% if that person has gender confirmation surgery. it allows me to focus bandwith on discussing more high priority conversations that people in Trans World and beyond need to hear. ,

I've also don't focus on the miniscule numbers of people who for whatever reason detransition because they get disproportionate levels of media attention for doing so, especially from right wing orgs and outlets.

People transition for many reasons, and as we know, it is not an easy path.  In many cases much hard solid thinking and prayerful consideration went into making the call to boldly live our lives as our true selves and taking the steps to make it happen.

But at the time I transitioned in the early 90's you were required under WPATH Standards of Care in place then to go through counseling to ensure that you weren't making this life changing move in a cavalier fashion.  The counseling with a certified gender therapist also ensured that you could discuss some of the issues that crop up and if you were ready to move forward with a transition, or have more time to consider it if you weren't sure.  

And I've seen and heard it talked about far too often in this community of trans feminine people who tried to suppress their feminine side for decades by going into the military or deeply into regimented religious life, and it becoming intolerable to the point that they eventually come out anyway and transition.

One of the concerns I have along with my trans elders is that we have elements of Trans World who transitioned for the wrong reasons.  They may have loved doing drag and thought their lives would be as fab if they were under the drag spotlight if they became women full time.

Some who transitioned may have lived miserable lives as men and believed that if they became women it would improve them.  They may have thought because of the positive media attention we trans people have been getting lately. it is cool and trendy to be a trans a genderfluid person but didn't think about the short and long term ramifications of it.  

Or they simply did so and didn't consider the fact that being a woman in a male dominated society steeped in sexism and misogyny ain't easy.  The issues are magnified when you are a woman of color and you can multiply them when you are a trans woman of color.

One of the reasons I'm commenting about it right now is because the latest person to start the process of detransition is one I have a personal connection with in Pretty Paris.  

She sought me out a few years ago for advice when she started transition, and when she asked me to do so, I gave her advice when she hit bumps in the road as she lived her trans life.

But now that Paris has become a born again Christian, for whatever reason he has started the process of detransition.  

So yes, I can empathize with those persons who make the call after whatever amount of time they live in Trans World to make the even more difficult call to detransition.  But my empathy has its limits.

One of them is when you detransitioning folks start attacking transpeople as RiRi Nicole and another one who partnered with PFOX did.

The problem I have with that particular group of detransitioned people is that after they do so, elements of them start sounding like right wing christians as they spout their harmful;anti-trans rhetoric. that makes Republican politicians, the TERF's, professional hate groups and the faux faith based transphobic ignorati smile. 

I also can't stand those detranisioners who allow themselves to be played by conservative churches anti-trans hate groups, and allow themselves to be the faces of efforts to attack other trans people for Republican political gain. 

And I really have a problem with it when you detransitioned peeps start attacking trans kids and their amazing parents.

News flash to you detransitioning trans folks before you start quoting Scripture out of context and Bible belting folks.  It is not wrong and never has been wrong to be trans.  Even Scripture is on our side on that point in the Old and New Testaments, and gender variant peeps have been on the planet on every continent except Antarctica (and may even be there in some research facility) since humans started walking the Earth.

God made us just like he did you detransitioning peeps . If you choose to detransition, that's a personal decision that's on you, and I wish you the best of luck in your life moving forward.  
But don't you dare demonize those of us in Trans World for who transitioning not only was the correct decision but a lifesaving one that allowed us to be out best selves and live happier lives .

I and other trans people are living our lives, not a lifestyle.  Using that word while wrapping yourself in Scripture to describe being trans IS and will be seen as an insulting attack on us that will get you swiftly and deservedly called out.

2009 Miss Tiffany Winner Detransitions To Become A Monk

Back in May 2009 I wrote about Sorawee 'Jazz' Nattee becoming the latest person to wear the Miss Tiffany's crown and become Thailand's representative in the upcoming Miss International Queen Pageant that November.   

Nattee ended up not placing in that Miss International Queen competition won by Ai Haruna of Japan but did finish third in the pre-pageant competition.    

The interesting news that came out of the Land of Smiles ironically right about the time the Miss Tiffany pageant is held in Thailand is that the now 24 year old Nattee traded her crown for the orange robes of Buddhist monkhood.

Since only males can become Buddhist monks, that meant Nattee had to detransition to do so. 

The international trans community has been hearing about disturbing cases in Thailand in which families who are majorly resistant to their trans children transitioning to live as women or their gay ones being forced to become monks.

According to Nattee, this isn't what's happening in his situation.  ‘It’s not that I’ve become a monk to run away from problems, but I’ve studied dhamma for two years and now know what it truly is.’’ 

Nattee also said in the Bangkok Post article he was doing so to repay his parents.

Genital surgery is optional for a contestant in the Miss Tiffany's and Miss International Queen competitions, and according to Nattee's family the only surgery Jazz had at the time of competition were breast implants..

Nattee removed the implants and took the ordination name of Phra Maha Viriyo Bhikku as he entered a monastery in his home southern Songkla province. He didn't hide the fact that four years ago he was wearing the Miss Tiffany's pageant crown.

"I want to be a monk for the rest of my life and I’m ready to leave my worldly possessions behind,’’ Jazz said after becoming a monk at Wat Liab

I and everyone else in trans world hope that Nattee freely made this decision and wasn't pushed into it by his parents or other outside influences.   If it's what Jazz truly desires and made the conscious decision to do so, then best of luck in his life and spiritual journey.

But if he didn't, I definitely along with people in Thailand won't be surprised to see the return of Jazz

Philip Porter, Derrick Doll And Detransition

Until they moved to Nashville and became the Tennessee Traitors, I was a huge Houston Oilers fan.  When they started their cheerleading squad called the Derrick Dolls, one of my college classmates Thomasina was on it for a few years.

And yes, it bothered me during the 80's that I was in the wrong body to even have a shot at trying out for it and I was jealous of Thomasina for a minute because she was on that squad. 

So it jolted me when I heard about my fellow Texan Philip Porter's detransition story and it subsequently coming out that during his 32 years as Phoebe, he alleges he had been an NFL cheerleader in his trans feminine life.

As he told his story on HuffPost Live recently, and seeing this alleged picture of Phoebe as a trans Derrick Doll brought those memories back on how I felt back in my wandering in the gender wilderness 80's. 

When I was watching those NFL home games being played at the Astrodome along with much of the city of Houston, I was struggling with my own gender issues.  It occurred to me that during the 1992 and 1993 season that Phoebe would occasionally pop on our TV sets, be part of two Derrick Dolls group photos, and take part in the various events the Dolls performed at or graced as hostesses around the city I was taking major steps to get my own transition started.  


I respect Philip's decision to detransition and hope he's happy.  It's his life, his journey and I wish him the best.
But it also gives me an opportunity to talk about the contentious subject in Trans World of detransition.  

We transpeeps go through hell and back just to be recognized as the people we are now, and that journey to be our true selves is a satisfying one to 95% who aren't even thinking about detransition.  That percentage shoots up to 98% if you include the people who have genital surgery. 

At the time I was doing my transition in 1994, one of the WPATH requirements in place was I had to do the 'Real Life Test' in order to get approval from my gender therapist to have genital surgery.  That RLT was in place so that people had an opportunity to back out if they were having second thoughts or had difficulty adjusting to life on the other side of the gender fence before the surgeon's scalpel came into play.   


But instead of the focus on trans issues being about the people who are happily navigating their post transition lives or our challenges, the media focus at times becomes fixated on the very few people in our community who transition and decide to go back as Don Ennis, Ria Cooper and Philip Porter did. 

And sometimes it is the bizarre reasons these detransitioning peeps give for why they are doing so that also sets us off in Trans World. 

The oversaturation coverage of the instances of people detransisitioning leads to cis people asking us the annoying 'When are you going to go back?' question.  

When I got asked by a female student that question during an HCC-Southeast Trans 101 discussion I was conducting last year, my response to that student was why would I go back to the miserable existence and life I had before transition?


There are a lot of reasons why people do so and it really should be a personal issue, but as the old saying goes, the personal can become the political.  That's especially true when you have a marginalized group fighting for human rights coverage and at the same time be understood by the general public.  As they do so everything that happens to that marginalized group good, bad or indifferent is framed in that political context, especially by its enemies. 

It's why detransition is such a contentious topic in the transgender community.  We get prickly about it not only because of our own personal psychic and sweat equity investments in perfecting our gender presentations and gender identities to the world, but by the awareness that far too often some of the people who do detransition become the trans equivalent of 'Ex Gays'.     

They are seized on in conservative circles as a reason why trans human rights coverage shouldn't be granted to the rest of us who are very happy in the trans skins we're in.  

The detransitioned 'Ex-Trans' folks are also pimped by the Religious Reich and groups like PFOX as poster children and 'proof' that you trans people can use prayer to turn away from your 'sinful' lives as trans people

Funny, it was after I attended a 1993 TD Jakes revival in Los Angeles and prayerful contemplation my faith led me to write the letter to the Rosenberg Clinic asking for the first available appointment that started my transition.

BTW peeps, Pat Robertson has said twice what we already know, that transsexuality isn't a sin.

But that doesn't stop the Religious Reich from not only trying to push that loud and wrong message, they also use these stories of detransitioned 'Ex Trans' folks as a way to pimp their religious conversion therapies.

They are the same ones that didn't work for gay folks, but they are now trying to retool them to grab the cash of parents desperate enough to try them to 'fix' their trans children. 

Whether it was the loathsome Jerry Leach in Kentucky or the recent story that Sabrina Samone told on her blog about P-FOX trumpeting the story of her 'Ex-trans' friend Darrell, the trans community gives these stories the hostile side eye when we hear them. 

Another reason for the trans pissivity when the issue of detransition comes up besides the right wing and other trans haters exploitation of it is our sadness about the tragic story of Mike Penner, the LA Times sportswriter who famously transitioned to become Christine Daniels, transitioned back to Mike and committed suicide.

So yes, Trans World is concerned on many levels when we hear about people detransitioning, but our biggest concerns are always going to be focused on the side of the well being of the person going through it. 

But if you use it as a way to attack the trans community in general, it's on like Donkey Kong.