I had the pleasure of first meeting Louis Mitchell during the 2005 Transsistahs-Transbrothas conference we held in Louisville. Over the next eight years I've had the opportunity to not only call this trailblazing leader in our community a friend, but be his house guest when I was in western Mass for the 2008 Trans Pride March and Rally. I've also had the pleasure of either seeing him in or participating with him in numerous conferences and events since TSTB including the recent Black Transmen, Inc Conference in Dallas back in March.
Louis was part of Dr. Kortney Ryan Ziegler's documentary Still Black: A Portrait of Black Transmen, and remains in demand as a consultant, public speaker, trainer and preacher
He was honored by BTMI with an award named after him for his years of principled leadership to our community and is a devoted friend, father and husband.
And today is also his birthday! Happy birthday, bro!
So it's time for Louis to answer the TransGriot's Ten Questions.
1 We met back during the 2005 Transsistahs-Transbrothas Conference. How important was that event in building our community?
LM-I really began to see and imagine the magnificence, diversity, range and talents of our community! It was, to my knowledge, one of the first times that black transmen and black transwomen came together to produce an event that wasn’t primarily for entertainment or social services. The depth and breadth of us was and continues to be awe inspiring to me! I will admit it…I am in love with us! I love black transwomen, black transmen, black gender-variant people, black gender non-conforming people, black queer people! I can’t say with any certainty that the stone that we threw into the ocean in Louisville originated the ripples that have become the waves of amazing-ness that I’m able to witness now, but I sure hope so.
2. What are your thoughts about why the Black transmasculine community doesn't get the love, respect and visibility it deserves?
LM-I’m not sure that anyone gets the love and respect that is deserved – not trans folks, not black folks and surely not most, if any, black trans folks…lol.
I think that the intersections and overlaps of stigma and oppression play a part in so much of our experience. I don’t have hard data, but I would conjecture that most black men of trans experience (most trans men of color, actually) transition to and with a goal of living a no or low-disclosure life, i.e. stealth. So, I don’t believe that visibility is always desired.
I think that we, as most men, suffer discrimination, violence and assault in shame and silence – either because we risk being outed or because we fear the additional stigma of being weak, unmanly.
The black transmasculine community is very diverse and therefore we have many of the same issues as all black men – un/under employment, addiction, fatigue/lethargy, increased likelihood of arrest, homophobia, transphobia, sexism, misogyny, disablism, etc. We also have many of the same attributes – a strong and principled faith journey, a generationally practiced work ethic, strong commitment to family and community. We also face challenges in our personal lives like everyone else – who wants to date us, who wants to love us, who will accept us? Often, we, like some of our trans-sisters, believe that once we have medically “arrived” we can put our whole past behind us forever. And that may be true, I don’t know. But I am challenged by the idea that one becomes a whole man by amputating parts of your life.
All of that said, I believe that my brothers and I are on a path of learning new and creative ways to love and support each other, our families and our trans-kindred – respecting personal disclosure choices, gender presentation choices, affectional preferences and spiritual journey choices. I believe that we are on the path to giving ourselves and each other the love, respect and dignity that we deserve and having enough left over to share with others in the world who need love, support and nurture.
3. When did you transition and why?
LM-I began my spiritual/mental/emotional transition in 1996 and my medical/hormonal transition in 1999 – after much research, discernment and getting the nerve to tell my momma!
I’m not sure how to answer the “why” question. There are so many reasons. I knew from the time I was a little child, age 3 or so, that I wasn’t a “girl”, but I had no idea what that meant. I had never heard of a man transitioning – women, yes, but men no. It was a dream, a fantasy that I could enjoy because I never needed to risk anything to realize it. When I met someone who was ftm for the first time, I had a rush of conflicting emotions! I was overjoyed, terrified, angry, resistant! I was thrilled that it was really possible. I was terrified because I knew that I would have to risk everything and everyone to transition. I was angry that I had to make these difficult decisions. I was resistant to let go of the relative comfort I had in communities that I’d long been a part of.
Ultimately it came down to a few things. I was going to keep hiding in my “lesbian” skin, taking away rare opportunities from women because I wouldn’t get out of the way or I was going to move into a manhood that I’d only imagined, but not been prepared for. I was going to try to stay sober living a “half-truth” and risk relapse or I was going to step out in faith that all of my recovery work had prepared me for. I was going to die to avoid upsetting my mother and my friends who would feel abandoned and betrayed by my transition or I was going to live into my greatest integrity.
4. As a spiritual leader, do you have a message for the transpeople who feel beaten up by the folks who use faith as an attack weapon against us?
LM-I don’t know that I would call myself a spiritual leader – more of a spiritual comrade to the disquieted, disgruntled, wounded, betrayed, yet still seeking.
My only message is that we are not alone and must find comfort in each other and in those that understand the messages of love in the spirit. If you are bruised and battered, stop visiting/paying for/singing for/preaching for your oppressor. There are open and loving arms and hearts that will welcome you – every part of you, all of you. Get support for yourself – get out of the SDV (spiritual domestic violence) relationship that you’re in. Just as all survivors of abuse and trauma will need time and nurture to grieve and to heal, so will you. Try to be as patient and loving with yourself as you can. Those of us (and there are a lot) who have been through it are here and many of us are willing to be a support to you through your journey.
5. There are transmasculine leaders doing amazing things. Who are some of the leaders that deserve more recognition for what they do but aren't getting the attention for their work?
LM-There are so many! Many of the men who are doing so much won’t ever get the kind of community wide recognition that I think they deserve out of respect for their disclosure choices.
The men who are doing the hard work in our growing number of greek organizations, Carter Brown and all of the men heading BTMI chapters around the country, just to name a few. Again, I would love to tell you who they are (and you know them already), but I am committed to respecting their own disclosure choices.
6. Where are the places in which the Black transmasculine and transfeminine communities do an excellent job of working together and where are the areas in which we can improve?
LM-We seem to do an amazing job every time we work together! The difficulty seems to be that many of our communities of origin, where we transitioned from, are not connected. The bridges that need to be built now are many and will require some growth on all of our parts. It’s been my experience that some of the things we say in conversations with each other and when we think that we aren’t around each other, have been really hurtful! Especially around love and companionship – “we don’t date t-women, we only date real women/we don’t date t-men, we only date real men”. We all have our romantic/sexual preferences, but if they are about anatomy or even what we assume the anatomical make-up of a person is, then how can we ever expect to be loved or valued in ourselves? Additionally, we have the challenges of sexism, homophobia and look-ism to contend with – intra and inter community. There is so much wonderful work that has been done, but there is yet plenty of work to do!
7. What are some of the projects you are working on now?
LM-I have just finished developing curricula for spiritual care givers specific to suicidality in the trans and gender-variant communities for the Trans Faith Institute. It is an issue that is especially dear to my heart and of critical importance to our community. Many folk who are in clergy or in another form of spiritual practice are ill equipped to deal with suicidality and even less equipped to deal with the issue specifically in the trans communities.
I am spending most of my time being a dad, preparing to return to school, preaching and making myself available for speaking and trainings again.
8. I know you are immensely proud of your daughter. What's it like being a parent?
LM-I can’t even describe it! I melt when she smiles and opens her arms and says “Dada”! A lifetime ago, I dreamt of this moment and felt certain that I would never know this feeling – I can scarcely believe I’m not still dreaming. Kahlo has just turned one and she is amazing! She is curious, observant, assertive and vociferous. She is strong-willed and determined and I love that! She makes me want to practice more self-care and self-reflection and to be a better person, so that I can be a better father. I’m so very, very, very grateful for her…and I love her so very, very, very much!
9. You get to flip the script and ask the TransGriot a question you've been dying to ask me. Fire away.
LM-I’m going to cheat and ask two…lol. When are you going to write/finish your autobiography? You are so awesome at lifting up our history and our history in the making, but what about you and your amazing life? And two (they are related), when are you going to start a publishing company for our works? I know and you know you could do it and do it with excellence! I love you, sis…so grateful for you!!!
10. Where do you see the Black trans community ten years from now?
LM-I see us everywhere, doing what we do! Producing, shaping, creating – holding offices, starting businesses, finding cures, making art and music, breaking athletic records, creating families of all kinds, healing families of origin, starting/opening/seeding mosques, churches, yoga studios, retreats, writing fiction and non-fiction, owning our own work, our own land/houses, supporting each other in philanthropic ways! The sky isn’t even a limit for us. I’ve seen us do so much with so little – we are chosen, called, anointed and purposeful!!!!
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