Sometimes It's Your Own Funky Personality That Makes Peeps Not Like You

I've talked about how at times in this gender marathon journey we're on, you'll run into trans folks who have other issues besides just the gender identity ones.

Some of those peeps haven't done or refuse to do the introspection, self analysis or gotten the professional help they need to see the negative behavior patterns everyone else they come into contact with does so they can overcome them.

There are just people with fracked up personalities period or who walk through life with such negative energy that no amount of transition is going to change that.  If they were jerks before transition, they will be jerks after they do so.

Those peeps need to be honest with themselves. You can tell yourself ad nauseum that people don't like you because you are transgender, but the truth is for those of you who role model the bad behaviors I'm talking about, is people don't like you and don't want to be around you because of the crappy persona you project to the world.

Nobody wants to be around a negative person, be they cis or transgender.

And the first step in correcting that nekulturny behavior pattern is take a long hard look in the mirror, holding yourself accountable for that bad behavior and stop blaming being transgender for people not liking you.

Yeah, we have people who irrationally hate on us.  But your sucky personality is probably exacerbating that dislike in your case.   As my fellow writer Denny Upkins once said and I'm going to remix his original words here, being trans does not give you an all access pass to show your azz to the world.

So time to get busy correcting those defective personality traits that make people not like you and stop trying to deflect blame for you personality shortcomings on being trans.

Conducting yourself with decorum and class will get you far not only in our activist ranks, it will carry you a long way in life period.

Tom Joyner's Father Passes Away

October 23, 2007
Hercules L. Joyner, 89, passed away Sunday in his Dallas home.
A native of Plant City, FL, Joyner is father of Tom Joyner, the nationally syndicated radio personality, and Albert Joyner, owner of McDonald’s franchises in Jackson, MS.

“I really appreciate all of the sympathy and prayers expressed by all of my close friends and my listeners,” Tom Joyner said. “Those that ever had the pleasure of meeting Pops know what an inspiring life he lived and what a proud man he always was. My family and I are thankful for all of your prayers.”

Known for his dry wit and gentle ways, ‘Pops’, as he was affectionately called by family and friends, graduated from Florida A&M College with as B.S. in Chemistry. While at Florida A&M, Joyner pledged with the Omega Psi Phi Fraternity Inc. and became an avid golfer. In later years, ‘The Herc’ Golf Tournament was named after him.

After he enrolled in the program to become a Tuskegee Airman, he decided to switch from a military career and instead became an accountant, later spending much of his career working for the Veteran’s Administration Hospital in Tuskegee.

Joyner was the only child of Dr. Oscar Albert and Ruth Griffin Joyner, and married the late Frances Dumas, a graduate of Tennessee State University.

To share his passion for black colleges, Joyner was an active member of the Tom Joyner Foundation, created by his son in 1998 with the sole mission to help keep students enrolled in Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCUs).

In lieu of flowers, the family has asked that donations be made on H.L. Joyner’s behalf to the Tom Joyner Foundation, P.O Box 630495, Irving, TX 75063.