No Always Means No

In the wake of all the conversation being generated about the #MeToo hashtag that gets people who feel comfortable doing so to talk about sexual assault and sexual harassment, just have to remind some peeps before I get to the heart of what I want to talk about in this post that trans masculine and trans feminine peeps are also dealing with this issue as well.

#TransToo

What the hashtag created by a Black woman (Tarana Burke) has done is got me thinking about a conversation that my late father had with me and my brother when we were teenagers concerning sex and dating.

He told us that the line between a sexual encounter and being charged with rape was a very thin one, and that if we didn't want to be going to jail, we'd better be paying extremely close attention to what the girl was saying at that moment, not what she was doing.

He illustrated his point by laying out a scenario for us in which the girl in question was in her underwear and intimately touching and kissing you, then suddenly says."No."

My dad's matter of fact blunt advice about that scenario was this:  If that no happens, she meant it.  So at that moment you get up, thank her for a lovely evening, and come home to take a cold shower.

It was advice that kept up both out of dating trouble, and I realized later was his way of explaining the concept of 'No Means No' to us.

Far too often I heard conversations in which guys claimed that a 'no' meant you hadn't closed the sexual sale with the person in question.   This 1989 episode of A Different World  entitled fittingly 'No Means No' makes it quite clear what it is and what's gonna happen to you legally if you ignore that no.

 


No always means no, and that lesson needs to be taught by parents before their kids hit puberty.

If they don't, then they will be watching that child being tried for a sexual assault and being put on the sexual offender list.

Sexual Assault and Sexual Harassment Happens To Trans People, Too

I've been checking out the messages across social media in the #MeToo campaign in which people have been talking about their experiences with sexual assault and sexual harassment.

This campaign has revealed just how huge the problem is in the United States.  It shouldn't be a surprise when you have someone who admitted they did so on tape and he still becomes president.

Because as a media person I know there are times I need to keep stuff quiet until it's ready to be released, and my elder status in this community, I have had people come to me and tell me some of their most intimate secrets.

Some of those intimate secrets have been sexual assaults and sexual harassment related . And yes, some of the people telling me about those incidents have been trans masculine and trans feminine people

So for those of you who believed Dan Patrick's and Lois Kolkhorst' lies in this recently concluded Texas legislative session, news flash for you, trans people are far more likely to be the people preyed upon.   Of the 1,490 Texas trans folks who responded to the 2015 US Trans Survey, 1% of them reported being sexually assaulted or physically attacked while in a restroom.

In other revealing information points from the 2015 US Trans Survey, nearly half of the respondents to it (47%) reported being sexually assaulted at some point in their lifetime, and (10%) reported they had been sexually assaulted in the previous year (2014) .

The trans respondents who have done sex work (72%) who were experiencing homelessness (65%) or who had disabilities (61%) were more likely to have experienced sexual assaults in their lifetime.

That's before I start talking about the far too numerous stories about my trans family who were sexually harassed or assaulted by law enforcement personnel, or while they were incarcerated in prisons or ICE facilities by guards and other inmates.

And yes, can't forget the Crocodile Dundee movie in which a trans woman was sexually assaulted when her crotch was grabbed in a NYC bar by Dundee and that scene was played for laughs.

Sexual assault isn't a joke, and I'm not laughing about it.   Because scenes like that can escalate quickly into anti-trans hate violence,  and murders

It is a serious issue that happens to far too many of our people, and even happened to yours truly on a METRO bus.

So yes, sexual assault and sexual assault happens to  trans people, too

My #NotUpForGrabs Story

In the wake of Trump's reprehensible 2005 comments about groping women, I wanted to point out that trans women once our bodies morph to their feminine shape, are subject to the same drama and BS our cis sisters experience, up to and including groping and sexual assault.

In the wake of the Trump comments, women across the country have been telling their stories on social media about the first time they were groped by men.

To point out it happens to trans women as well, I'm sharing my #NotUpForGrabs story

***

I was two years into my gender transition, and  I was on the bus headed to work. Our CAL uniforms at that 1996 time had a walking shorts option, and I was wearing mine on that hot July summer day.

I was asleep against the window of the 65 Bissonnet bus on the first leg of my work commute when I was jolted out of it by a elderly Black male hand feeling the inside of my left thigh. When I woke up I saw him drawing his hand back, so I decided to fake going back to sleep to catch him in the act.

When he thought I was asleep again his hand once again started feeling the inside of my left thigh. He got closer to my crotch before I quickly looked in his direction and once again caught his hand moving back.

So I turned my head once again against the window to feign sleep, and this time he got a surprise when he got to my crotch area.

He was shocked because he was grabbing something he wasn't expecting. I leaned over and whispered in his ear, "Yes, that's 100% beef you're holding. And if you don't get your hands off my crotch you're about to find out how much testosterone I have left in my system when i kick your ass for touching me without my permission."

I was pissed off about it, but I consoled myself on the remaining part of my journey to IAH that it hopefully would make him think twice about doing it to some other woman.

Sadly I have the feeling it probably didn't

TransGriot PervWatch- The Tennessee GOP Sexual Harasser

As we've noted on these electronic pages and elsewhere on the Net, there has been a GOP legislative attack on the trans community spread across several states in reaction to their pissivity over the Obergefell SCOTUS ruling.

In Tennessee, the attack on transpeople legislation has been co-sponsored by state Rep. Jeremy Durham (R-Franklin), who has pimped the debunked lie that cisgender men would 'pretend' to be transgender in order to gain access to the women's bathroom.

Well, it turns out that the Tennessee GOP would be better off passing laws to protect women from Rep Durham and his like minded harassers..

Rep. Durham, who is one of the co-sponsors of the unjust HB 2414 has been accused of harassing 34 women, and was declared by Attorney General Herbert Slatery III  (R) in a warning he issued after investigating the complaints to be "a continuing risk to unsuspecting women who are employed by or interact with the legislature.".  

"With few exceptions, the women who related incidents felt they could not report Representative Durham's behavior because nothing could be done and they didn't want to lose their jobs or be considered 'untrustworthy' by employers, clients or legislators," said AG Slatery

In response to the warning from the Attorney General,  Tennessee House Speaker Beth Harwell (R-Nashville) had the trans oppressor exiled from his office in the War Memorial Building, moved to the first floor of the Rachel Jackson Building and limited his access to the Legislative Plaza, the second floor of the state capitol building and those buildings for 'official legislative business only'.

Durham has resigned from his positions as the House majority whip and in the Republican legislative caucus, and will be the only legislator with an office in the Rachel Jackson Building.  There have been bipartisan calls for his resignation which he has ignored, so it will be up to his district to decide in November if they want to be continued to be represented by a sexual harasser.

But this is just another example of what we have been saying in Trans World.   Those who have been squawking the loudest in pushing for these unjust laws aimed at the trans community and repeating the lie about phantom trans sexual predators to get them passed have turned out to be as they are investigated the real sexual predators.  

Houston HERO Opponent Accused Of Sexual Harassment

“I say to you, what if I came into the bathroom while you were sitting on the toilet? Wouldn’t you feel uncomfortable?”
-Pastor Kendall Baker, in his anti-HERO public comments  

Yeah, your comment is cringe inducing now that we are aware the reason you lost your city job was because of a sexual harassment allegation, according to a News 92FM report from Adela Uchida

Kendall Baker, the pastor at StraightUp Ministries World Church, is also a member of the Houston Area Pastor's Council that has been fighting the HERO.

He has been one of the pastors featured along with the Rev. Max Miller used as the faces of the anti-HERO effort by Dave Welch and Dave Wilson.  They have used non-white ministers as their spokespeople in an attempt to present the veneer of a multicultural, broad based coalition, when the reality is the coalition is overwhelmingly dominated by the usual H-town white evangelical Christian conservative haters with ties to the Republican Party.  

Baker was the former manager of the City of Houston's 311 Services Division until his suspension and termination.  After a female employee filed a complaint on June 27, 2013, the Office of Inspector General found during the subsequent investigation that Baker solicited sexual acts, made crude remarks about female anatomy and hugged subordinate female employees. 

Baker was also alleged to have solicited donations for his church, which he denied according to the OIG report.

During the May 13 public comment session, there was a snippy exchange between Mayor Parker and Baker that was a things that make you go hmm moment, but we now realize is related to this situation.

In response to testimony questions about the OIG and their potential role in investigating HERO complaints, Baker said:  "The reason I know the OIG is overwhelmed is because I just ended a 28-year, 11-month career with the city and was wrongfully terminated and the OIG did not handle the case appropriately.”

Mayor Parker's response to Baker's comment was:  

“Absolutely, you are proof we do a good job in the OIG, sir.”

As of yet Baker hasn't responded to media requests for comments concerning the sexual harassment  allegations that led to his termination from his city job. 

But isn't that special (and not surprising) that one of Dave Welch's Pastor Council sheeple hypocritically lives in a glass house.  

A Name And Face To The Cain Sexual Harassment Allegations

I had a feeling more women would be eventually coming out to talk about the sexual harassment allegations that Oreo cookie chomping GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain was facing.  

In phone conversations with my mom and Renee when the news first broke a few days ago I said to both of them "If one of those women he allegedly sexually harassed is white, his campaign is toast."

Hey, I'm being real.  Sexual entanglements with white women by Black politicians, whether real or imagined are the kiss of death to the campaigns of those Black men when campaigning for political offices that require non-Black support.  Do I need to remind y'all of the race-baiting 'Call me, Harold' campaign ad John Corker unleashed John Corker unleashed with days to go in the 2006 US Senate race in Tennessee that erased a 9 point lead for Harold Ford?

Rev Al discusses the allegations on PoliticsNation..

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