Flip Trump Off At A Ball Game

It's time for another song rewrite, and since baseball fever has gripped H-town, this one is going to have a baseball flavored twang to it. 

Y'all know that Dear Orange Misleader got dissed at Nationals Park on Sunday night during Game 6 of the World Series,  and the conservasnowflakes are big mad about it.  So I'm about to add to their pissivity with this rewrite of the baseball classic song 'Take Me Out To The Ballgame'

Y'all know what to do.  Find your fave music program and sing along with Moni's remixed lyrics

Flip Trump Off At A Ball Game 
(sung to the tune of Take Me Out To The Ballgame) 

Flip Trump off at a ball game
Flip Trump off as a crowd
Boo him and start chanting #LockHimUp
We don't like him 'cause he is a schmuck 

So it's root root root for impeachment
If he stays in, it's a shame
For it's one, two, three crimes you're out
In the U. S. A.

Impeach the mofo...er play ball!

You Want Some Ice Cream

This latest song rewrite was inspired by my homegirl Tarah Taylor. 

She mentioned on her Facebook page that in the largely Latinx northside Houston neighborhood of Aldine, there is an ice cream truck rolling through the area that instead of playing nursery rhymes to get the kids and parents outside the house to part with their money for his delicious treats, it plays Jennifer Lopez songs.

Didn't take me long to come up with the remixed lyrics after that.

So y'all know what to do.  Find your fave music program and sing along with Moni's remixed lyric to this JLo song.

You Want Some Ice Cream
(sung to the tune of 'Ain't Your Mama' by Jennifer Lopez)

You've been cooking all day
You want some ice cream
You've been doing laundry
You want some ice cream
You want some ice cream
Yeah You want some ice cream

When you coming out to get it?
Come get this ice cream

Oh oh oh oh oh
You want some ice cream
Oh oh oh oh oh
You want some ice cream

Get out those dollars and dimes
Aw yeah yeah yeah
It's eating ice cream time
Aw yeah yeah yeah
Put down the video games
Aw yeah yeah yeah
And give me all your change
Right here right here

You know that it's Blue Bell you love
Don't forget the fudgesicles
Popsicles make you feel comfortable
They're so good in fact
They're so good in fact
Just remember that, hey!

You've been cooking all day
You want some ice cream
You've been doing laundry
You want some ice cream
You want some ice cream
Yeah you want some ice cream

When you coming out to get it?
Come get this ice cream

Oh oh oh oh oh
You want some ice cream
Oh oh oh oh oh
You want some ice cream

Lucky I'm in this 'burb
Aw yeah yeah yeah
The kids getting on your nerves
Aw yeah yeah yeah
You want it don't be ashamed
Aw yeah yeah yeah
Go on pull out that change
Aw yeah yeah yeah

You know that it's Blue Bell you love
Please don't forget the fudgesicles
Popsicles make you feel comfortable
They're so good in fact
They're so good in fact
Just remember that, hey!

I've been cooking all day
I want some ice cream
I've been doing laundry
I want some ice cream
I want some ice cream
Yeah I want some ice cream

When you coming out to get it?
Come get this ice cream

Oh oh oh oh oh
I want some ice cream
Oh oh oh oh oh
I want some ice cream

I want some ice cream, yo

You know that it's Blue Bell you love
Please don't forget the fudgesicles
Popsicles make you feel comfortable
They're so good in fact
They're so good in fact
Just remember that, hey!

You've been cooking all day
You want some ice cream
You've been doing laundry
You want some ice cream
You want some ice cream
Yeah you want some ice cream

When you coming out to get it?
Come get this ice cream

Oh oh oh oh oh
You want some ice cream
Oh oh oh oh oh
You want some ice cream

You've been cooking all day
You want some ice cream
You've been doing laundry
You want some ice cream
You want some ice cream
Yeah you want some ice cream

When you coming out to get it?
Come get this ice cream

Oh oh oh oh oh
You want some ice cream
Oh oh oh oh oh
You want some ice cream, yo!

You want some ice cream, yo!

Donald's Run By Russia

With Dear Cheeto Misleader about to go to the G-20 Summit in Germany and embarrass himself and our country again, while I was out and about handling some business, came up with my latest TransGriot song rewrite.

So y'all know the drill.   Time for you to find your fave music program and sing along with Moni's remixed lyrics

***

Donald's Run By Russia 
Sung to the tune of 'Ronnie Talk To Russia' by Prince

Donald's run by Russia because of your hate
Because of your hate
Because of your hate

Donald's run by Russia because of your hate
And now he's messing up our world

Left wingers hating Hillary because of Putin
Because of Putin
Vladimir Putin

Left wingers hating Hillary because of Putin
Now Donald's messing up our world

If we get nuked before I get to meet you
Before I get to meet you
Before I get to meet you

If we get nuked before I get to meet you
Don't say we didn't warn ya

Donald's run by Russia because of your hate
Because of your hate
Because of your hate

Donald's run by Russia because of your hate
And now he's messing up our world

Don't you mess up our world
Before he messes up our world

Potty Man

Texas Lt .Governor Dan Patrick (R) is sure obsessed about where Texas trans people poop and pee to the point he tried with the help of TX state Sen. Lois Kolkhorst (R-Brenham) to pass the reprehensible SB 6 to do so.

We successfully killed it during the regular session, but have to do so again when the Special Oppression Session starts on July 18.

It's been awhile since I've done one of my TransGriot song rewrites, but it was past time for me to satirically slam Lt. Gov Potty Dan with this remix.

Y'all know the drill, find the song in your fave music program and sing along with Moni's remixed lyrics

Potty Man
(sung to the tune of  'Candy Man' by the Mary Jane Girls)

When you wake up in the morning
And you're laying in your bed
Thinking of new ways to oppress us
That's what goes on in your head

You're the meanest (Potty Man) man I know
And the whole world knows it's so
It's time for another election
November 6 you've got to go

(chorus)
Ooh Ooh, Ooh Ooh
Dan Patrick is the Potty Man
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Ooh Ooh, Ooh Ooh
He's a despicable Republican
Hey Hey

Potty man
Potty man
Ooh hoo

When you wake up in the morning
And oppression's on your mind
You just call up Lois Kolkhorst
And she eagerly found the time

You're the meanest (Potty Man) man we know
We Texans thought we'd tell you so
Don't want you as Lite Gov forever
November 6 you've got to go

Ooh Ooh, Ooh Ooh
Dan Patrick is the Potty Man
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Ooh Ooh, Ooh Ooh
He's a despicable Republican
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh
Yeah yeah he's the, he's the potty man

Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh
Cause he's a Republican
He's a Republican

Let me pee, let me pee (Let me pee, Let me pee)
In the bathroom that I need to
Let me pee, let me pee (Let me pee, let me pee)
That I would really love (love, love)

Stop attacking trans kids, baby

Potty man
Ooh
Potty man

Potty man
Potty man
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh

Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh
Dan Patrick is the potty man, oh, oh, oh
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh
Cause he's a Republican

oh oh oh oh oh oh ooh Ooh
Dan Patrick is the potty man
oh
Cause he's a Republican

I want you to leave
Leave Texas trans peeps
Leave Texas trans peeps alone, baby
Stop oppressing
Stop HB 2899 baby

Stop oppressing
Stop attacking Texas transkids, baby
Leave the Texas
Leave Texas transpeeps alone baby
Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh

What A Horrible Trump World

Dear Cheeto Leader has demonstrated once again to the reality based part of the country and the world just how massively stupid he is by not knowing what caused the American Civil,War.

Sad!  But then again if you surround yourself with and stick your White House staff with know nothing idiots, you're going to look and sound like one.

Big hint Don the Con:  The Southern War to Pereptuate Slavery.was all about the Southern idiots wanting to fight for the right to keep my ancestors permanently doing their work for free while their lazy azzes sat on the porch drinking sweet tea.

Orange Julius's lack of knowledge about the Civil War inspired this latest Moni song rewrite, and this time I'm going the classic route by remixing Sam Cooke's (What A) Wonderful World for the 2K17 times we live in.

So fire up your fave music streaming service and sing along with Moni remixed lyrics

What A Horrible Trump World
(sung to the tune of 'What A Wonderful World' by Sam Cooke)

Trump don't know much about history
Trump don't know biology
Trump never cracked open a science book,
Hatin' on the Spanish I took
We do know that he's racist, boo,
We know that about his voters, too,
What a horrible Trump world this will be

Trump doesn't know any geography,
Thought being POTUS would be easy
Didn't know about the Civil War,
Didn't know what we were fighting it for
Know that slavery was its cause,
Him not knowing that should give you pause,
What a horrible Trump world this will be

Trump always claims he is an "A" student,
But uses words like 'bigly'
Only thing he gets an "A" for, baby,
Is massive stupidity

Trump don't know much about history,
Trump don't know biology
Trump never cracked open a science book,
Hatin' on the Spanish I took
But we do know that he's racist, boo,
We know that about his voters, too,
What a horrible Trump world this would be

History.
Biology
Science book
Spanish I took
We do know that he's racist, boo
We know that about his voters, too
What a horrible Trump world this will be

I Won't Be Voting For You, Trump

It's been a while since I unleashed another one of my TransGriot song rewrites upon the world, and while listening to my Spotify 80's playlist, the lyrics hit me while listening to Public Enemy for the perfect rewrite slamming the Trumpenfuhrer.

Y'all know the drill. Fire up your fave music program and sing to Moni's remixed lyrics

I Won't Be Voting For You, Trump
(sung to the tune of I Can't Do Nuttin' For Ya Man' by Public Enemy)

Runnin' for POTUS day and night
Runnin' a racist campaign, yipes
For your GOP political home
Beat 17 peeps my mind is blown
Get criticized you wanna sue
Disrespecting women, now I'm through
You're getting help from Breitbart chumps
I won't be voting for you Trump

I won't be voting for you TrumpAmerica's already great, you see
I won't be voting for you Trump
It went to Hillary 
I won't be voting for you Trump
You're the favorite of the Klan
I won't be voting for you Trump
You'll put America in a jam

Your supporters are lily white
Campaign lies every day and night
Cyberbullying all the girls
As conservafools all clutch their pearls
Claiming Hillary will take your guns
Saying Mexicans are scum 
You're the  POTUS nominee, chump
But I won't be voting for you Trump

I won't be voting for you Trump
Nobody should be voting for you Trump

You're a raving bigot son
November 8 you will be done
Watching you lose this election (pow)
To Hillary sure will be fun
Face the facts that's on the shelf
Don't qualify for POTUS because of wealth
The Blacks can't stand you chump
I won't be voting for you Trump

I won't be voting for you Trump
You want ten dollars for what?
I won't be voting for you Trump
You can kiss my big Black butt
I won't be voting for you Trump
I'm busy tryin' to be  me
I won't be voting for you Trump
That's the way my vote goes gee

Bass for your face! Go vote people
Bass in your face!  I early voted
Drop that vote homey!  What do I have to lose?Drop that vote homey!  I ain't trying to hear thatBeat the GOP!  Tired of your oppression
Beat the GOP   Probably cheating on Melania
Beat the GOP,  Hope y'all lose the  House and Senate, too
(laughter, than fade)

Fake (Lying Donald Trump Surrogate Version)

Well, well, well.  Mark Burns, the same 'Pastor' Mark Burns who closed out the first night of the 2016 RNC National Convention with the hate prayer and who is one of Donald Trump's most high profile kneegrow surrogates, got caught lying big time on national TV the other day.

As I enjoyed the schadenfreude laden situation, the classic Alexander O'Neal's classic song 'Fake' popped in my head, and this song is crying out for a makeover to lampoon his situation.

So here you go TransGriot readers, Y'all know the drill.  Find your fave music program and sing along with Moni's remixed lyrics.

Fake (Donald Trump Surrogate Version)
(Sung to the tune of 'Fake' by Alexander O'Neal)

Damn, he's lying on MSNBC tonight
Fellas (yeah)
We gonna talk about a Black guy who's fake
Can we clap our hands for that?
Come on

Markie, Markie
You're a Black conservative- hate when you pray
Out shilling for Trump almost every day
Your bio's wrong - TV time is short
You say, "My site was hacked" - while you're on the CNN studio floor

Whenever you're at a venue - I find out something new

(chorus)
You're a fake, baby, - you can't conceal it
Know how I know - 'cause CNN revealed it
You're a fake, baby, - no rhyme or reason
'Cause in your mind - it's lyin' season

Claimed you're a Kappa- we know that ain't true
You're not a college graduate either, boo -yeah
No Army service - you straight up lied
Supporting that bigot gonna get you crucified

Mark Burns turned out to be counterfeit- and full of shyt

You're a fake, baby - you can't conceal it
Know how I know - 'cause I can feel it
You're a fake, baby - Media's blown your cover
The jig is up - 'cause CNN discovered
You're a fake, baby - no need to hide it
Can't change my mind - 'cause we've decided
You're a fake, baby - and we're disgusted
The game is through - and dude you're busted - fake

Whenever you're at a venue - (Whenever you're at a venue)
I find out something new 
You're a fake -You always have a good excuse
(You always have a good excuse) - But, dude you got no juice

You're a fake, baby - you can't conceal it
Know how I know - 'cause CNN revealed it
You're a fake, baby - no rhyme or reason
'Cause in your mind - it's lyin' season
You're a fake, baby - Fake

She Beat You!

Been a while since I penned one of my song rewrites, but this one came to me as I was watching Bernie Sanders once again stall during an interview on doing the obvious and endorse the presumptive Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton, while simultaneously reading the detached from political reality commentary of the Green Tea Party supporters of Sanders who refuse to accept he lost back on Super Tuesday in March

So y'all know the drill.  Open up your fave music program and sing to Moni remixed lyrics.

She Beat You!
Sung to the tune of 'She Saw You' by Luther Vandross

While on the Net last night saw Bernie or bust boys
Talking about 'she cheated', and I became annoyed
Asked if Bernie could win POTUS as a Dem nominee
They said 'Yes, he can'
I said "Don't you lie to me"
Hillary she finished first  (she beat you)
I'm proud to tell 'ya
Democrats all voted for her (She beat you) unlucky fellas
Hatin' on Hillary,(she beat you) not a wise political play
And y'all need to stop the lie (She beat you)
Trump's a better POTUS any day
Too bad for you
Bernie's not a presidential player   He's lost, it's true
Hell naw I don't feel sorry for you

(chorus)
She beat you   (That's right!)   Campaign's at the end
Hillary's the nominee (Who's going to be) the POTUS my friend

You're claiming 'voter fraud' and Bernie won California
Well that's absurd, wasting money on that lawyer
Found out too damned late Black voters are with her
You sent in that Killer Mike clown
Bernie got electorally beat down
He can't escape from this loss (She beat you)  His time is up
Bernie needs to concede (she beat you) it's a move we'll love
Yes you are angry (she beat you) you're gonna make her pay
November 8 you need to vote (she beat you) Can't let the liberal SCOTUS get away

Looks good to me
Bernie's not a presidential player
Be gone, I'll repeat
You're acting like sour grapes filled creep creeps

She beat you   (That's right!)   Campaign's at the end
Hillary's the nominee (Who's going to be) the POTUS my friend
Really don't feel sorry for you
She beat you   (That's right!)   Campaign is at the end
Hillary's the nominee (Who's going to be) the POTUS my friend

Can't let the liberal SCOTUS get away
Too bad for you
Bernie's not a presidential player   He's lost, it's true
Hell naw I don't feel sorry for you

(chorus x3 then fade to end)
She beat you   (That's right!)   Campaign is at the end
Hillary's the nominee (Who's going to be) the POTUS my friend

Trans Oppressors Goddam

Well, it has been a while since I have done one of my infamous song rewrites.

In light of all the anti-trans legislation that is breaking out like kudzu across the South and in other GOP run states, I finally got the idea to remix the lyrics of Nina Simone's classic protest song to fit the 2K16 political situation we trans folks now are witnessing and finding ourselves in.

So y'all know the drill.  Fire up your fave music program and sing along with Moni's remixed lyrics




Trans Oppressors Goddam
Sung to the tune of Mississippi Godddam by Nina Simone

The name of this tune is Trans Oppressors Goddam
And I mean every word of it

North Carolina's gotten me so upset
Tennessee made me lose my rest
And everybody knows about Mississippi Goddam

North Carolina's gotten me so upset
Tennessee made me lose my rest
And everybody knows about Mississippi Goddam

Can't you see it
I know you can feel it
It's all in the air
I can't stand the trans oppression much longer
Somebody say a prayer

North Carolina's gotten me so upset
Tennessee made me lose my rest
And everybody knows about Mississippi Goddam

This is a show tune
But the show hasn't been written for it, yet

Transphobic TERF assholes on my trail
Using the bathroom sends me to jail?
GOP impeding my human rights path
I think every day's gonna be my last

Lord have mercy on this land of mine
We all gonna get freedom in due time
We belong here
We belong there
Justice and trans acceptance is my prayer

Don't tell me
I tell you
Trans people's freedom is overdue
I've been in the trenches so I know
Our GOP trans oppressors say "Hell no!"

Trans people are people
"Hell no"
Pass trans rights laws
"Hell no"
Respect our humanity
"Hell no"
You're a predator 
"Hell no"
You're no lady
"Hell no"
Your thinking's crazy
"Hell no"
Where am I going
What am I doing
I don't know
I don't know

Trans folks do your very best
Stand up be counted with all the rest
Everybody knows the trans oppressors Goddam

If you thought I was kiddin'

We won HERO
Got deceptively voted out
GOP claimed it's Mayor Parker's plot
All I want is equality
For my sister my brother my people and me

GOP lost gay marriage after all these years
Now you firing up anti-trans fears
Trans men are men, trans women are ladies
Your unjust legislation is quite shady

The GOP trans oppressors are full of lies
But as you tell them a trans person dies
Sick of this conservative political show
As you say to trans people "Hell no!"
"Hell no!"

Trans kids transitioning?
"Hell no"
Public accommodation
"Hell no"
Trans education
"Hell no"
Bathroom defecation
"Hell no"
It's my body
"Hell no"
Trans people attacked politically
"Hell no"
Why don't you see it
Why don't you feel it
I don't know
I don't know

You don't have to love me GOP
Just give me my equality
Everybody knows about Mississippi
Everybody knows about  North Carolina
Everybody knows about  Trans Oppression Goddam

That's it!

(We Gottta) Fight For Our Right To Potty 2015

Back in 2010 I took an idea birthed during a conversation with Ethan St. Pierre and rewrote the Beastie Boys song (You Gotta) Fight For Your Right To Party' as a protest song against the bathroom meme that was then being used to try to scuttle trans inclusion in ENDA.

It's now five years later, ENDA is still not the law of the land, and the bathroom lie is being used to attack trans human rights in general now.

With all the GOP anti-trans bathroom bills out there filed by Debbie Does Discrimination Riddle and Gilbert 'Potty Panic' Pena in Texas,, Frank 'Flush Away Our Humanity' Artiles in Florida, CM 'Bathroom Bounty Bill' Embry in Kentucky and other GOP conservafool legislative oppressors at the behest of ALEC, it was time to pull this song out of the TransGriot archives and tweak the lyrics for the 2K15.

So y'all know the drill.  Fire up those iPods or your fave music program and sing along with Moni's remixed lyrics.

And yeah, if you want to use it at a #WeJustNeedToPee protest, have fun.  Just give me the credit for composing this little ditty.

(We Gotta) Fight For Our Right To Potty 2015
sung to the tune of  (You Gotta) Fight For Your Right To Party by the Beastie Boys.



Kick it!

Trans people need to pee but we don't wanna go
Needs to be gender neutral but the right wing says, "No!"
On anti-trans bills they went to work
As they started hatin' on us like transphobic jerks

We gotta fight for our right to potty

Presentation based bathrooms need to happen today
GOP oppressors are saying “No way!”
Facing trans discrimination can be so sad
Erasing our humanity makes trans folks fighting mad (Busted!)

We gotta fight for our right to potty

Don't like that I transitioned? Why should you care?
Don’t need to know the genitalia that I have down there
I’ve got to pee so bump that noise.
I’m not (will be) going to use the bathroom with cisgender boys!

We gotta fight for our right to potty
We gotta fight for our right to potty