Make Sure He Loves And Respects Your Azz

One of the reasons I love my Facebook page and the over 1300 people from all walks of life I have on it is because I'm exposed to a variety of viewpoints and commentary that sometimes triggers the posts that I write for this blog.  

I had one hit my FB page courtesy of courtesy of  Alicia Bree-Brimage that was humorous but full of truth about the subject of marriage and women being in too much of a hurry at times to get married.

For my single lady friends who are in a hurry to get married, here's a quick piece of Biblical advice: Ruth patiently waited for her mate Boaz. While waiting on YOUR Boaz, don't settle for ANY of his relatives: Brokeaz, Poaz, Lyinaz, Cheatinaz, Dumbaz, Drunkaz, Cheapaz, Lockedupaz, Goodfornothingaz, Lazyaz, or Marriedaz & especially his third cousin Beatinyoaz. Please, wait on your Boaz & make sure he respects Yoaz!

There's a lot of truth in that statement.   It's resonating with me because I'm also thinking about this in the context of chatting with my young transsisters who are in heterosexual relationships.  

Yeah, despite the pushback and drama we get from society opposing our rights to get married, I am still a romantic at heart and believe the laws of our various nations will one day allow us without interference to walk down the aisle and say "I do" to the person we love.  

I've observed a lot of relationships over the years between transwomen and cismen, and I'm always amazed at how some beautiful transwomen ended up with guys that fell into the categories that were described in that comment.   Sometimes it was the same transwomen falling into a pattern of repeatedly dating the same type of buster guys because they believed they couldn't do any better or were desperate to find a husband or boyfriend to 'prove' their femininity. 

Some of that is driven by the latent shame and guilt issue we struggle with at times.  Some of it is simply lack of self esteem and confidence that they are all that and four bags of chips and deserve a quality man.  

Just as our cissisters do, we transwomen need to think about on a regular basis the qualities that we are looking for in a life partner. We need to determine what are the qualities that are non negotiable relationship deal breakers and which ones are the qualities you can compromise on?. 

Transwomen shouldn't be grabbing on to any man just to validate their femininity because of a mistaken belief on our parts borne in low self-esteem and low expectations that we can't do any better.   Neither should it be based on a mistaken belief on his part that we'll take whatever crap they shovel at us and won't leave them for greener pastures.  

We need to be willing to look in the mirror, love the person we see and bet that we are such high quality women that we are prepared to live our lives alone rather that settle for a toxic relationship with a man that doesn't respect or value us.  

Yes we should, yes we can, and yes we will   

Never forget the most important factor in this relationship equation.  Not only should he love and respect your azz, you should love and respect your azz as well.