I Miss Hangin' Out

When I'm not busy compiling blog posts, talking on the phone, checking on my grandmother or tweaking my Power Point presentations, I do like to pull those nice clothes and shoes I have piled up in my closet, put them on, put on the other face and hang out with my friends.

It's one of the things I do miss about Louisville in terms of going out to lunch or dinner with various friends and the Friday night one that became a tradition with me, Dawn and Polar.

Well, besides hanging out at the TG Center with the community the first Friday of every month (sometimes I can make it, sometimes I can't),  having a lunch with my homegirl and fellow writer Wendy when I first arrived in town, spending Election Night watching the disastrous returns at a downtown bar with my homegirl Ursula, attending the TTNS, my family reunion, my 30 year high school reunion, the Noho Pride Parade Grand Marshal stint, doing the Texas A&M speaking engagement and the TDOR, I'm really yearning for the balance I had in my personal life and the active role I had in the community in my Louisville life that has been disrupted by the move.  

My friends are cis and transwomen.   That's the way I wanted it for many reasons since.I'm striving to be and not only evolve into a Phenomenal Transwoman, but a quality Black woman as well.   

If you're going to learn what it's like to interact with a world in a feminine body, and want to be the best you can possibly be at it, it's imperative as a transwoman to have a sistahcircle of people around you who will give you the 411 on that experience, are secure in their own femininity, ain't 'scurred' to be seen with their trans girlfriend,  think of you only as their girlfriend, call you on your BS, and have your back at the same time.

That's doubly important when you are a transwoman of color and are trying to evolve into being  a compliment to the women of your ethnic background and not be seen as a joke or a detriment to that heritage.  

I was blessed to have a cadre of women and sistahfriends like that in Louisville and was developing that here before I moved.   It's taking me time to get reconnected to my Houston ones and pick up where I left off while I feel the 1000 mile sting of being away from my girls back in Da Ville.   

The same is true of transwomen.   Even if that cis woman is up for the challenge, there are issues inherent in moving around in a world hostile to a trans feminine body that only another transwoman can break down to you.

Besides those issues, you still have to deal with sexism, racism for a transperson of color inside and outside the trans community and all the other societal baggage heaped upon ciswomen.

It's important to have transwomen in your life kicking knowledge to you about how to do that and look fly at the same time, and forge bonds with your transsisters as well who may just be jumping on the entrance ramp of the trans superhighway you are hundreds or thousands of miles down. .

Yes, you need that yin and yang to be a balanced, well rounded woman of transsexual experience to borrow a term from my baby sis Ashley Love.

So yes, I'm wanting to reconnect with my Houston homegirls and make some new memories since the last time I spent a full year interacting with peeps in the H-town social scene was a decade ago.  

I know things take time and I haven't been back for a full year yet, but I have my moments where my Taurean patience is starting to wear thin about reestablishing the quality of life I had in Da Ville and having that happen for me in Houston as expeditiously as possible..

Do I sound frustrated?    Maybe I am.   But I'm feeling like I'm caught in a social funk and I need to do something to get out of it.

I do have a lunch scheduled with one of my cis girlfriends later today, and I'm hoping that it will be the catalyst to get me out of this social fiunk I'm feeling like I'm in and pave the way for a better rest of the year and a better quality of life in 2011..  

 Later, peeps.