Sunday, August 03, 2008

Role Model? For Real?

Main Entry: role model
Function: noun
Date: 1957
: a person whose behavior in a particular role is imitated by others


The first time I heard those words attributed to me was back in 1999. I was listening to 'After Hours' late one night back home and Sarah and Jimmy during one part of the show started talking about people in the Houston GLBT community that they considered leaders and role models. Vanessa Edwards Foster's and my name came up in the conversation, and after being in shock for a moment, I began to think about the gravity of what they just said on a 100,000 watt FM radio station.

Damn, I'm a role model now. There are times when I wonder if any one's even reading some of the stuff I post here on TransGriot or on the Bilerico Project.

When I look at my blog's hit counter I get my answer. I get my answer from the people who are moved enough to leave comments on the posts (hint, hint)

Sometimes those posted comments from transpeople and allies all over our planet tell me the same thing that Sarah, Jimmy and others have said over the last nine years, that they consider me a role model as well. While it's potentially head-swelling stuff and I'm honored that people think of me that way, I still keep it in perspective when I read it. I put my pantyhose on one leg at a time just like everybody else.

When it's not too damned hot to wear pantyhose, that is ;)

But there are times I hear it and burst into tears. Lola's comment kind of took me back to the time when I was in my late teens, a college student struggling with this issue.

Like many young transpeople, she's dealing with the transgender issues now and not allowing them to fester because they never go away. If you do that, before you know it ten years has passed and you have a spouse, kids and a career to factor into the transition equation.

There are times when I wonder if I'd had the type of information and positive role models available now like a Dr. Marisa Richmond when I was trying to transition, where I would be in my development path as a transwoman?

But I have to deal with the context of the times I grew up in in the 60's and 70's. While the information on transpeople was sketchy at best, there's a lot of positives connected with growing up in that time period as well.

It's that combination of influences plus the willingness to adapt and listen to the enlightened viewpoints of people who are wiser and sometimes younger than me that makes me at this particular point in time in August 2008 the person I am.

You have to concede that young people nowdays are a hell of a lot smarter than we were at that age. They grew up immersed in information thanks to the Internet, and sometimes they may have a better approach or a fresh way of thinking about an issue than their elders. But sometimes your elders have valuabe lessons they learned that you can incorporate into your own knowledge base as well. They are your elders and in your life for a reason, and they need to be treated as the historical resources they are so you don't repeat mistakes.

All I can do is strive to be the best person I can be, and if in the process of my own personal evolution it inspires some of you to do the same, then it's a win-win situation for us and the community as well.

9 comments:

  1. i was introduced to your blog via a link from womanist-musings.com. i think your blog is awesome! and i believe that you are a role model for anyone who wishes to live their most authentic life. bless you, monica!

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  2. Damn straight, you're a role model!

    If I ever get my own blog's blogroll straightened out (it broken during a WordPress update), you're definitely one of the blogs I'll be highlighting.

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  3. Hi Monica! I have been reading your blog for some time now and it has been for me a source not only of information but inspiration as well. You truly are one phenomenal woman! The global trans community is lucky to have someone like you around. Take care always and keep writing. ;)

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  4. Sweetie - I'm reading! Every day!! Your particular perspective on oppression we navigate every day always feeds my own transition and makes me a stronger transwoman myself.

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  5. is After Hours still broadcast here? What station was that on - I'd like to give it a listen.

    On Saturday, my son (4 years old) and I were at the barber shop. There is a woman in transition who works there and my son saw her. He said 'look mommy - a boy, but he has girl hair'. I didn't know exactly how to respond. What would ya'll suggest? I think I told him something like 'he is just doing him' - which is what I tell him in short, when I explain to him about individuality and being yourself and that different just means different, not better - not worse.

    sorry about getting off topic....but yeah, i'd say you were a role model.

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  6. Crys,
    After Hours is on KPFT-FM 90.1

    It used to start at midnight on Saturdays, but I'll have to check that.

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  7. At the risk of inflating your head even more, :) you rock, Monica. Keep it coming.

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  8. Nichole,
    I have people around me who will make certain that not only will it never swell to Goodyear blimp size, they will be standing by with the needle to prick the air out of it. ;)

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  9. Crys,
    According to KPFT's website, After Hours is still broadcast on KPFT 90.1 FM, Saturdays-Sunday at 1 AM Central time.

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