I Went Off...Got Quoted...And Got Results

There's a quote from Laurel Thatcher Ulrich that states 'well-behaved women seldom make history'. You can probably edit that to cover well-behaved transwomen as well.

Now there are times and many situations as we go through life in which decorum and civility is not only needed, but required.

Then there are those times when you need to go straight the hell off to make your voice heard.

One of those times was in referring to the disrespectful way that Angie Zapata was depicted in a recent story about her murder despite having AP Stylebook guidelines in place since 2001 describing how to cover transgender people in media stories.

I have watched, written about and complained about repeated violations of these AP guidelines in blog postings over the last few years and they continued. But after reading the third story in succession this year that disrespected a transperson, (Saneshia Stewart, Duanna Johnson, Ebony Whitaker) I'd had enough.

My policy on TransGriot is to rewrite an offending transgender story using the AP Stylebook guidelines. I also follow the rules of giving full credit to the person and publication in which it appears when rewriting original source material.

So after composing this post, I was amazed to see this update forwarded to me by one of my TransGriot regular commenters Veronique.

The story was also picked up by Latino blogger Andres Duque at Blabbeando, who found the link to the local TV news footage of Angie's funeral service that has since been uploaded to YouTube.

Andres also has a followup piece on this story on Blabbeando as well discussing ABC News headline change on their blog post discussing the murder.

But let's ponder this for a moment. I've gotten some private communications from people that don't share my ethnic heritage implying that this blog is 'angry'. I have over 900 plus posts on various subjects from WNBA basketball to celebrating the 90th birthday of Nelson Mandela to short stories and poetry, but it's ludicrously considered an 'angry' or has an 'angry tone'.

It's also repeating the same borderline racist shade that has been thrown at me by some people because I dare speak out about injustice no matter where it comes from.

So ask yourself this question. If I hadn't wrote the post on Tuesday, would the story actually be getting legs in the media or the blogosphere, much less the mea culpa story in the Greeley Tribune later that day?





And to ask another question, would Angie be getting this type of respectful positive coverage instead of the initial negative spin if I hadn't complained about it on this blog and gave people the information and the impetus to call and complain to the Greeley Tribune and the writer about it?

In Transgender Circles, Silicone Is A Risky Shot At Womanhood

By Malcolm Venable
The Virginian-Pilot
© July 27, 2008

One Saturday evening in spring, female impersonators strutted, sashayed and lip-synched to R&B and gospel songs at a Norfolk banquet hall while guests showered them with dollar bills. People feasted on a down-home spread of green beans, fried chicken and macaroni, on tables sprinkled with confetti.

Presiding over it all in a crimson evening gown was Vega Perry, who played the part of the regal, occasionally bawdy hostess. She threw the party to thank supporters of her business, Miss Models Inc., which puts on pageants for local members of the transgender community.

"Please be aware," she said with sugary aplomb, stepping gingerly over the microphone's cord, "that there is no alcohol to be consumed on the premises. Please do not embarrass me by violating this policy. I thank you so much. Up next we have... "

Vega, of Norfolk, is a pro at this. She's managed hundreds of pageants and balls for "gender illusionists" up and down the East Coast.

It wasn't long ago, though, that she was onstage herself, agonizing over the right wig and eyelashes to create a flawless routine. But to look like a beautiful woman instead of the man she was at birth, she played a decade-long, dangerous game of medical roulette.

Around 2002, she lost.

Vega paid a friend to shoot liquid silicone directly into her legs and hips to make them rounder, more feminine. The procedure is called pumping, and it's well-known among members of the local transgender community.

Pumping is illegal and risky, but it's a cheap alternative to the extensive cosmetic surgery required to turn a man into a woman. Often, people who pump experience no immediate adverse side effects. Yet things can go horribly awry. Vega barely escaped death and is reminded every day of that close call by discolorations along her legs that ended her competition days.

"The type of showgirl I am now," she said, "I don't wear anything too revealing because I couldn't compete in a portion where I would have to show hip. I would be so self-conscious."

To win pageants like the ones Vega hosts, a padded bra won't cut it. Contestants need to look as much like ladies as possible.

The rewards can be great. Many drag pageants are surprisingly professional, sometimes lavish affairs with all the stuff you'd see at Miss America: talent competitions, swimwear, midfinals and finals. Bigger pageants award prizes in the tens of thousands of dollars; one gives cash, a new car and a per diem for all-expenses-paid cross-country appearances.

And so, in order to seize that tiara and all its glory, Vega, 38, and many others like her on the pageant circuit have gladly taken a needle or two.

The legal method of getting silicone is through a physician, and in the form of implants, which keep the substance safely encased in pouches. But with pumping, a friend or "doctor" met through word of mouth injects the stuff directly under a customer's skin.

Like street drugs, silicone can be pure or cut with something else, such as baby oil. "Sil doctors," as they're called, can use medical-quality material or the sealant you buy at an auto parts or hardware store.

The liquid can migrate to other parts of the body. It can harden and form clumps. Tissue can become infected and fill with pus. Cases in which people died, sometimes within hours of an injection, have made the national news.

Many times, though, nothing bad happens. For a few hundred dollars, someone who has spent his entire life feeling as if he was born the wrong gender can do something about it.

Vega grew up in a stable, loving, two-parent home in Newport News, with a family who supported her when she was a feminine gay boy.

By 19, she was performing in pageants in Hampton Roads and along the East Coast. But after a while she was ready to change, ready to live as a woman all the time. So on a summer day in 1992, she went to a friend's house in the Lynnhaven section of Virginia Beach to get silicone in her face, to round out her cheekbones.

"I wasn't nervous," Vega said. "I just wanted it so bad. I wanted to look as convincing as possible and wanted to soften up my look. I reserved in the back of my mind that, 'If you really want the silicone, Vega, you have to lay there and accept the pain.' "

The house was clean and well-decorated, she remembered.

The "doctor" was a transsexual named Michelle, in town from Florida. In exchange for hosting Michelle and allowing her to inject other people, the Virginia Beach friend received a commission - free injections, cash or both.

Michelle had access to high-quality silicone, and she was known for good work. Over the course of a weekend, Vega said, as many as 50 transgender women would see Michelle. She wouldn't even come to Hampton Roads unless she knew there'd be at least $10,000 waiting for her.

When Vega arrived, five others were waiting; it was what's called a "pumping party." Those getting major work - adjustments of the hips, buttocks and thighs - went first because Michelle didn't want to run out of silicone for clients spending the most.

When it was her turn, Vega went into her friend's bedroom and saw a hospital bed, which Michelle had rented. That made Vega feel safe.

Tools were laid out on white towels on a dresser. Michelle was adamant about not using a needle twice; she liked for you to see a fresh needle coming out of a pack, Vega said, and after she was done she would drop it into a biomedical waste container. She even changed the sheets after each customer.

"She wanted you to feel like you were coming into a doctor's office," Vega said.

Michelle numbed Vega with Novocain and, for $150, shot silicone into her face, starting at her temples and working down the side, with special emphasis on the fleshy area of the cheeks nicknamed the "apple."

"The girls would be waiting for you to come out," Vega said, "and they'd say, 'Ooh, girl, that is flawless' or, 'I love it,' "

State law makes it illegal to perform such procedures without a license. But it's a healthy little industry in Hampton Roads, according to local transgender people, medical workers and a statewide transgender health survey.

The survey, conducted two years ago by researchers at Virginia Commonwealth University for the Virginia Department of Health, found that the eastern region of Virginia, including Hampton Roads, had the highest number of respondents in the state who admitted to getting silicone injections.

Three transgender people interviewed for this story - Vega and two others who did not want to be named because they still get pumped - said there are two to four practitioners in Hampton Roads, each with a thriving customer base.

Last August, a transgender woman named Frances White was arrested in Suffolk for injecting people with silicone in the lips, cheeks and breasts. She pleaded guilty in December and was sentenced to five years of supervised probation.

"If there is any humor in it," said De Sube, a Norfolk transgender woman and activist for the Hampton Roads gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans community, "it's that she was charged with 'practicing medicine without a license.' What she was doing isn't medicine."

Peggy Meder, a registered nurse who runs Skin, a Norfolk medical spa specializing in cosmetic injections, has been so concerned about pumping locally that she's extended discounts to transgender people, so they'd have an alternative.

"Are these people medically trained?" she asks. "Do they clean needles? If a person gets an infection, where do they go? There are all kinds of things that can go wrong, from infection to lumps and bumps on their faces to tissue necrosis - which means the face goes dead. And that's permanent. I have seen skin infections lead to death."

White's arrest was unusual locally, because people within the pumping culture don't snitch. There was speculation that a nemesis or disgruntled customer ratted her out.

"I'm probably the only person in Portsmouth law enforcement that knows what it means to be pumped," said Roberta Monell, a sheriff's deputy who transitioned from male to female years ago. She has never been pumped but said she knows many people who have. "The only way it gets found out is if someone is not happy with the result or there's some dispute over money."

Ordinarily, a transgender person like Vega would begin his transformation by meeting regularly with a psychotherapist. Then he would receive female hormones from a physician, in the form of shots, pills, patches or a combination of them.

Then, after maybe a year, the next step would be small procedures, including electrolysis to remove body hair. Only after all this treatment, at a cost of thousands of dollars, would the patient begin full feminization through plastic surgery. That's $20,000 to $150,000 more, typically not covered by insurance.

"Now imagine yourself coming from the projects facing all this," said De Sube.

At one time, transgender people could have turned to a physician for the liquid silicone, but the potential dangers prompted the U.S. Food and Drug Administration in 1992 - the same year Vega got her first illegal shots - to order doctors to stop offering it.

The FDA approved silicone for fixing detached retinas in 1997, so some doctors have begun using it again, off label, for cosmetics. But it's not recommended.

Many clinics offer other products that are believed to be safer for sculpting the face, but those injections are more expensive than silicone shots offered by unlicensed practitioners, and they're temporary. Silicone is permanent.

In some circles, peer pressure encourages pumping. Especially vulnerable are teens who've been kicked out of their homes after revealing that they want to become women.

These young men are often adopted by a "mother" - another feminine man or transgender woman who heads a tribe. Driven by trauma, low self-esteem and a search for belonging, they turn to pumping as an easy, quick fix. Same for sex workers, for whom appearance is vital. Pumping is a rite of passage. Beauty is just a syringe away.

"They're scared," De Sube said. "They aren't stupid. They understand the negative outcome. But they don't have the medical ability to get it the right way. From their perspective, this is life-giving."

Vega hosts a support group for trans women called TS Ladies Talk. They meet twice a month, talking over issues relevant to their community. Pumping comes up every so often, and although Vega does discourage the practice among her peers, she doesn't sermonize.

"The reality is that it's one of those things that girls are just going to do," she said.

One way of minimizing the practice, the study from VCU and the Virginia Department of Health concluded, is to offer transgender people safer, more affordable medical care.

Park Place Medical Center in Norfolk started a program in April called Transition Your Life Clinic, in part as a response to the study.

The idea is to encourage transgender people to get routine health screenings and to discourage behaviors that could result in HIV infections. The program is modeled after Richmond's Fan Free Clinic, which draws people from all over the state and is known for its transgender outreach program.

For half a day on Fridays, staff members at the cozy Park Place clinic see up to six trans people. Some can get prescriptions for hormones instead of buying them on the black market. The program is being paid for by the Health Department and a donation from the MAC cosmetic company's AIDS fund.

"The basic concept is that if you make people feel good about themselves, the more likely they are to protect themselves and take care of their bodies," said Dr. Subir Vij, a doctor at the clinic. "The reality is that many transgender people do not have doctors. They don't feel comfortable going to other routine providers. We want to create that safe feeling for them and eventually have them adopt Park Place Medical Center as their home."

Specialized medical care has been hard to find locally for transgender people - even those who don't pump. When Tona Brown, a classical violinist living in Norfolk, was transitioning from man to woman in 2003, she had to go to Baltimore to find an endocrinologist.

She knows that there are people who will deem her transgender peers unworthy of sympathy, because, well, shouldn't common sense stop them from getting shots with a used syringe full of silicone from a hardware store?

"People know they're not supposed to have unprotected sex or use drugs, but they still do it," Brown said. "You have to put yourself in their shoes. Be empathetic. What if you had breasts and you didn't want them, and someone said they could remove them for $300?"

That's the thing with pumping: It is so fast and so cheap that it's very tempting. But then, the dream of a better life can quickly become a nightmare. One woman who has been pumped, but asked not to be named, said silicone "doctors" will sometimes half-joke, "Girl, if anything happens, I'm dropping you off in a Dum pster."

Vega knows well what happens when pumping goes wrong, after that night six years ago.

A friend had offered to do the work as a way of advertising her expertise. She gave Vega a discount.

Vega had reservations but went ahead anyway. What could go wrong?

After three injections, she started getting worried.

"I'm more a lady," she said. "I didn't want a gigantic butt and wide hips, but she started pumping me really wider and wider. I said, 'You have to stop.' "

On the fourth shot, she began to bleed uncontrollably. Bleeding is common in pumping, and sometimes to contain it, the "doctor" will dab a bit of household glue on the site. But Vega didn't want glue on an open wound, and anyway, no glue would hold this in - blood was gushing everywhere.

"I was scared," Vega said.

A few hours later, she was wheezing, totally out of breath.

"It was like my lungs were giving out."

She called her friend, who had pumped herself in the breast that same night; she was also feeling bad. At around 5:30 a.m., they went to the emergency room.

"On the way, she was afraid of me pointing at her as the one who did it," Vega said. "I told her I would never tell them who did it, but I did tell her that I would have to let them know I had injections."

She'd gotten a bad grade of silicone, an ER doctor said. The substance had already caused an infection that had begun migrating to her lungs. Doctors gave her antibiotics, and she remained hospitalized for two days. Her friend didn't have insurance and had to be released sooner, but she didn't suffer any lasting harm.

In the following weeks, bruises appeared on Vega's legs. Eventually she had plastic surgeries to correct the work; one doctor cut into her face to scrape out silicone that had solidified. In another, silicone was sucked out of her hips with a medical vacuum. She wore tubes in her hips for four months.

She regrets her bad luck, but not necessarily the pumping.

"There are so many success stories that would outweigh the bad ones," she said. "There are lovely, lovely girls out here that have had silicone done the illegal way and have not had any problems for years.

"It's that instant gratification of seeing the result right there, versus going to the plastic surgeon if you don't have the money. So, honestly, I think I would possibly consider doing it again."



Malcolm Venable, (757) 446-2662, malcolm.venable@pilotonline.com

Barack's Berlin Speech

TransGriot Note: Sen. Obama's speech in Berlin's Tiergarten before 200,000 people.

Hate on GOP haters. Can't help it that we Democrats have produced another great potential president and leader (as usual) and you GOPers have offered up another inarticulate non-intellectual that wants to take this country down the same disastrous path using the same failed Bush conservapolicies.



Here's the text of the speech
'A World That Stands As One'
July 24th, 2008

Thank you to the citizens of Berlin and to the people of Germany. Let me thank Chancellor Merkel and Foreign Minister Steinmeier for welcoming me earlier today. Thank you Mayor Wowereit, the Berlin Senate, the police, and most of all thank you for this welcome.

I come to Berlin as so many of my countrymen have come before. Tonight, I speak to you not as a candidate for President, but as a citizen – a proud citizen of the United States, and a fellow citizen of the world.

I know that I don’t look like the Americans who’ve previously spoken in this great city. The journey that led me here is improbable. My mother was born in the heartland of America, but my father grew up herding goats in Kenya. His father – my grandfather – was a cook, a domestic servant to the British.

At the height of the Cold War, my father decided, like so many others in the forgotten corners of the world, that his yearning – his dream – required the freedom and opportunity promised by the West. And so he wrote letter after letter to universities all across America until somebody, somewhere answered his prayer for a better life.

That is why I’m here. And you are here because you too know that yearning. This city, of all cities, knows the dream of freedom. And you know that the only reason we stand here tonight is because men and women from both of our nations came together to work, and struggle, and sacrifice for that better life.

Ours is a partnership that truly began sixty years ago this summer, on the day when the first American plane touched down at Templehof.

On that day, much of this continent still lay in ruins. The rubble of this city had yet to be built into a wall. The Soviet shadow had swept across Eastern Europe, while in the West, America, Britain, and France took stock of their losses, and pondered how the world might be remade.

This is where the two sides met. And on the twenty-fourth of June, 1948, the Communists chose to blockade the western part of the city. They cut off food and supplies to more than two million Germans in an effort to extinguish the last flame of freedom in Berlin.

The size of our forces was no match for the much larger Soviet Army. And yet retreat would have allowed Communism to march across Europe. Where the last war had ended, another World War could have easily begun. All that stood in the way was Berlin.

And that’s when the airlift began – when the largest and most unlikely rescue in history brought food and hope to the people of this city.

The odds were stacked against success. In the winter, a heavy fog filled the sky above, and many planes were forced to turn back without dropping off the needed supplies. The streets where we stand were filled with hungry families who had no comfort from the cold.

But in the darkest hours, the people of Berlin kept the flame of hope burning. The people of Berlin refused to give up. And on one fall day, hundreds of thousands of Berliners came here, to the Tiergarten, and heard the city’s mayor implore the world not to give up on freedom. “There is only one possibility,” he said. “For us to stand together united until this battle is won…The people of Berlin have spoken. We have done our duty, and we will keep on doing our duty. People of the world: now do your duty…People of the world, look at Berlin!”

People of the world – look at Berlin!

Look at Berlin, where Germans and Americans learned to work together and trust each other less than three years after facing each other on the field of battle.

Look at Berlin, where the determination of a people met the generosity of the Marshall Plan and created a German miracle; where a victory over tyranny gave rise to NATO, the greatest alliance ever formed to defend our common security.

Look at Berlin, where the bullet holes in the buildings and the somber stones and pillars near the Brandenburg Gate insist that we never forget our common humanity.

People of the world – look at Berlin, where a wall came down, a continent came together, and history proved that there is no challenge too great for a world that stands as one.

Sixty years after the airlift, we are called upon again. History has led us to a new crossroad, with new promise and new peril. When you, the German people, tore down that wall – a wall that divided East and West; freedom and tyranny; fear and hope – walls came tumbling down around the world. From Kiev to Cape Town, prison camps were closed, and the doors of democracy were opened. Markets opened too, and the spread of information and technology reduced barriers to opportunity and prosperity. While the 20th century taught us that we share a common destiny, the 21st has revealed a world more intertwined than at any time in human history.

The fall of the Berlin Wall brought new hope. But that very closeness has given rise to new dangers – dangers that cannot be contained within the borders of a country or by the distance of an ocean.

The terrorists of September 11th plotted in Hamburg and trained in Kandahar and Karachi before killing thousands from all over the globe on American soil.

As we speak, cars in Boston and factories in Beijing are melting the ice caps in the Arctic, shrinking coastlines in the Atlantic, and bringing drought to farms from Kansas to Kenya.

Poorly secured nuclear material in the former Soviet Union, or secrets from a scientist in Pakistan could help build a bomb that detonates in Paris. The poppies in Afghanistan become the heroin in Berlin. The poverty and violence in Somalia breeds the terror of tomorrow. The genocide in Darfur shames the conscience of us all.

In this new world, such dangerous currents have swept along faster than our efforts to contain them. That is why we cannot afford to be divided. No one nation, no matter how large or powerful, can defeat such challenges alone. None of us can deny these threats, or escape responsibility in meeting them. Yet, in the absence of Soviet tanks and a terrible wall, it has become easy to forget this truth. And if we’re honest with each other, we know that sometimes, on both sides of the Atlantic, we have drifted apart, and forgotten our shared destiny.

In Europe, the view that America is part of what has gone wrong in our world, rather than a force to help make it right, has become all too common. In America, there are voices that deride and deny the importance of Europe’s role in our security and our future. Both views miss the truth – that Europeans today are bearing new burdens and taking more responsibility in critical parts of the world; and that just as American bases built in the last century still help to defend the security of this continent, so does our country still sacrifice greatly for freedom around the globe.

Yes, there have been differences between America and Europe. No doubt, there will be differences in the future. But the burdens of global citizenship continue to bind us together. A change of leadership in Washington will not lift this burden. In this new century, Americans and Europeans alike will be required to do more – not less. Partnership and cooperation among nations is not a choice; it is the one way, the only way, to protect our common security and advance our common humanity.

That is why the greatest danger of all is to allow new walls to divide us from one another. The walls between old allies on either side of the Atlantic cannot stand. The walls between the countries with the most and those with the least cannot stand. The walls between races and tribes; natives and immigrants; Christian and Muslim and Jew cannot stand. These now are the walls we must tear down.

We know they have fallen before. After centuries of strife, the people of Europe have formed a Union of promise and prosperity. Here, at the base of a column built to mark victory in war, we meet in the center of a Europe at peace. Not only have walls come down in Berlin, but they have come down in Belfast, where Protestant and Catholic found a way to live together; in the Balkans, where our Atlantic alliance ended wars and brought savage war criminals to justice; and in South Africa, where the struggle of a courageous people defeated apartheid.

So history reminds us that walls can be torn down. But the task is never easy. True partnership and true progress requires constant work and sustained sacrifice. They require sharing the burdens of development and diplomacy; of progress and peace. They require allies who will listen to each other, learn from each other and, most of all, trust each other.

That is why America cannot turn inward. That is why Europe cannot turn inward. America has no better partner than Europe. Now is the time to build new bridges across the globe as strong as the one that bound us across the Atlantic. Now is the time to join together, through constant cooperation, strong institutions, shared sacrifice, and a global commitment to progress, to meet the challenges of the 21st century. It was this spirit that led airlift planes to appear in the sky above our heads, and people to assemble where we stand today. And this is the moment when our nations – and all nations – must summon that spirit anew.


This is the moment when we must defeat terror and dry up the well of extremism that supports it. This threat is real and we cannot shrink from our responsibility to combat it. If we could create NATO to face down the Soviet Union, we can join in a new and global partnership to dismantle the networks that have struck in Madrid and Amman; in London and Bali; in Washington and New York. If we could win a battle of ideas against the communists, we can stand with the vast majority of Muslims who reject the extremism that leads to hate instead of hope.

This is the moment when we must renew our resolve to rout the terrorists who threaten our security in Afghanistan, and the traffickers who sell drugs on your streets. No one welcomes war. I recognize the enormous difficulties in Afghanistan. But my country and yours have a stake in seeing that NATO’s first mission beyond Europe’s borders is a success. For the people of Afghanistan, and for our shared security, the work must be done. America cannot do this alone. The Afghan people need our troops and your troops; our support and your support to defeat the Taliban and al Qaeda, to develop their economy, and to help them rebuild their nation. We have too much at stake to turn back now.

This is the moment when we must renew the goal of a world without nuclear weapons. The two superpowers that faced each other across the wall of this city came too close too often to destroying all we have built and all that we love. With that wall gone, we need not stand idly by and watch the further spread of the deadly atom. It is time to secure all loose nuclear materials; to stop the spread of nuclear weapons; and to reduce the arsenals from another era. This is the moment to begin the work of seeking the peace of a world without nuclear weapons.

This is the moment when every nation in Europe must have the chance to choose its own tomorrow free from the shadows of yesterday. In this century, we need a strong European Union that deepens the security and prosperity of this continent, while extending a hand abroad. In this century – in this city of all cities – we must reject the Cold War mind-set of the past, and resolve to work with Russia when we can, to stand up for our values when we must, and to seek a partnership that extends across this entire continent.

This is the moment when we must build on the wealth that open markets have created, and share its benefits more equitably. Trade has been a cornerstone of our growth and global development. But we will not be able to sustain this growth if it favors the few, and not the many. Together, we must forge trade that truly rewards the work that creates wealth, with meaningful protections for our people and our planet. This is the moment for trade that is free and fair for all.

This is the moment we must help answer the call for a new dawn in the Middle East. My country must stand with yours and with Europe in sending a direct message to Iran that it must abandon its nuclear ambitions. We must support the Lebanese who have marched and bled for democracy, and the Israelis and Palestinians who seek a secure and lasting peace. And despite past differences, this is the moment when the world should support the millions of Iraqis who seek to rebuild their lives, even as we pass responsibility to the Iraqi government and finally bring this war to a close.

This is the moment when we must come together to save this planet. Let us resolve that we will not leave our children a world where the oceans rise and famine spreads and terrible storms devastate our lands. Let us resolve that all nations – including my own – will act with the same seriousness of purpose as has your nation, and reduce the carbon we send into our atmosphere. This is the moment to give our children back their future. This is the moment to stand as one.

And this is the moment when we must give hope to those left behind in a globalized world. We must remember that the Cold War born in this city was not a battle for land or treasure. Sixty years ago, the planes that flew over Berlin did not drop bombs; instead they delivered food, and coal, and candy to grateful children. And in that show of solidarity, those pilots won more than a military victory. They won hearts and minds; love and loyalty and trust – not just from the people in this city, but from all those who heard the story of what they did here.

Now the world will watch and remember what we do here – what we do with this moment. Will we extend our hand to the people in the forgotten corners of this world who yearn for lives marked by dignity and opportunity; by security and justice? Will we lift the child in Bangladesh from poverty, shelter the refugee in Chad, and banish the scourge of AIDS in our time?

Will we stand for the human rights of the dissident in Burma, the blogger in Iran, or the voter in Zimbabwe? Will we give meaning to the words “never again” in Darfur?

Will we acknowledge that there is no more powerful example than the one each of our nations projects to the world? Will we reject torture and stand for the rule of law? Will we welcome immigrants from different lands, and shun discrimination against those who don’t look like us or worship like we do, and keep the promise of equality and opportunity for all of our people?

People of Berlin – people of the world – this is our moment. This is our time.

I know my country has not perfected itself. At times, we’ve struggled to keep the promise of liberty and equality for all of our people. We’ve made our share of mistakes, and there are times when our actions around the world have not lived up to our best intentions.

But I also know how much I love America. I know that for more than two centuries, we have strived – at great cost and great sacrifice – to form a more perfect union; to seek, with other nations, a more hopeful world. Our allegiance has never been to any particular tribe or kingdom – indeed, every language is spoken in our country; every culture has left its imprint on ours; every point of view is expressed in our public squares. What has always united us – what has always driven our people; what drew my father to America’s shores – is a set of ideals that speak to aspirations shared by all people: that we can live free from fear and free from want; that we can speak our minds and assemble with whomever we choose and worship as we please.

These are the aspirations that joined the fates of all nations in this city. These aspirations are bigger than anything that drives us apart. It is because of these aspirations that the airlift began. It is because of these aspirations that all free people – everywhere – became citizens of Berlin. It is in pursuit of these aspirations that a new generation – our generation – must make our mark on the world.

People of Berlin – and people of the world – the scale of our challenge is great. The road ahead will be long. But I come before you to say that we are heirs to a struggle for freedom. We are a people of improbable hope. With an eye toward the future, with resolve in our hearts, let us remember this history, and answer our destiny, and remake the world once again.

Bummed Out

TransGriot readers,
I'd hoped to be chillin' in the ATL getting ready to attend the Blogging While Brown Conference that kicks off tonight with a reception and a full day of seminars tomorrow. Unfortunately work and life intervened.

One of my contracts unexpectedly ended a few days before the registration deadline. When I got reassigned to a new one, my work time not only changed, I was working Monday, Wednesday, and Friday until midnight. The worst part was that I now had non consecutive days off, and I was planning to make that six hour drive to the ATL from Da Ville starting in the early morning so I'd have time to rest from the trip, hook up with SeaMonica and be in diva mode for the reception that night.

So based on that knowledge, I was debating making a stress-filled six hour drive solo at night and early Saturday morning down I-65 through Kentucky, I-24 through central and southeast Tennessee through mountains with twisting 6% grades and down I-75 through north Georgia so I could be there sleep deprived for the seminars.

I've done longer drives to Dallas and Houston solo, so that didn't faze me. But I knew I had to commit one way or the other by paying the conference fee by the 14th. As much as it pained me to do so, I called SeaMonica and let her know I had to cancel.

Just before I left the house for my first day working the new contract, one of my supervisors called and informed me I was now working Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Translation: I now have Fridays (and four consecutive days) off again.

Aaargh!

Oh well. Life happens. I'm a little upset and down about the fact I'm missing an opportunity to meet many of my fellow African-American bloggers, including a few I admire. But with my work schedule in flux at the time and based on the information I had available to me to make the decision, I reluctantly had to cancel. I probably would have hit the road early yesterday morning had onsite registration been an available option for this event.

I have no doubt this history making conference is going to be a huge success and they are planning to do it again next year. But this is just one of those things in which life didn't cooperate with my desires to be at an event that I wanted to attend, and I'm a little bummed about it.

For those of you who are there, have a wonderful and successful conference and hope to see y'all next year.

Why Black Transgender Issues Are Black Community Issues

'In recognizing the humanity of our fellow beings, we pay ourselves the highest tribute'.


Justice Thurgood Marshall

As a proud African-American that also happens to be a transwoman, there is no doubt and I make it quite clear on many TransGriot and TBP posts that I love my people.

But some of them don't love me.

African-Americans have a duality when it comes to African-American transpeople. On one hand some of my peeps can be the most accepting, compassionate, articulate and passionately motivated advocates for us.

On the other hand, some of them can also be our cruelest tormentors. Some of our unfortunate sisters who are memorialized on the Remembering Our Dead list (and sadly, this year we are adding three more names so far to that list) were killed by other African-Americans.

I and my transsistahs and transbrothas have noted the reluctance of the NAACP, some African-American politicians, ministers and other mainstream African-American civil rights organizations to get on board with pushing for civil rights coverage for their fellow African-Americans who happen to be transgender. Some of this reticence is driven by misinterpretations of Biblical scripture, misinformation, and in some cases outright hatred, ignorance and transphobic bigotry.

But I want to point out why the issues that Black transgender people deal with are Black community issues as well.

Let's start with the most pressing one, jobs. Many of my transgender brothers and sisters are gainfully employed. Many of us are college educated. But because transpeople aren't covered in job discrimination laws in many parts of the country, it's hard for us just to get a job.

Eevn if we have one, some employers are aware that it's illegal to fire us for being African-American. They'll just simply say I'm firing this person because they're transgender and unfortunately get away with it.

Sometimes. as Rochelle Evans has discovered, they won't hire us period.

Lack of employment is a root cause to some of what ails the African-American transgender community. We gotta eat, put clothes on our backs and have a place to lay our head. In addition to that, we gotta keep the cash flowing not only to pay for the necessities of life, but in order to complete our gender transitions.

Sometimes, my young transsisters are kicked out of their homes by their own families. They don't want to deal with their gender transformations out of either sheer ignorance or specious religious reasons.

Cutting us off from legitimate employment and the love and support of their family leads to some people feeling they have no other option but to turn tricks for cash. The end result of that can be what happened to young Ebony Whitaker a few weeks ago.

If they're lucky enough to not run into a john that kills them, then my street walking transsisters are at higher risk for contracting HIV, another issue in which we share a kinship with our African-American biobrothers and biosisters. They get paid more if they have sex with clients without a condom, and it's hard to say no to that if you're trying to survive.

The 2000 Washington Transgender Needs Assessment showed an alarming 25% of the respondents of that survey replying they were HIV positive. If they don't get it that way, because of the cost of the hormones that we need to transition, some girls pool their money to share hormone shots. If the person you're sharing a needle with is HIV positive, then you'll share that with them as well as the hormones you're injecting into your body.

Speaking of injecting things into your body, there's also the practice of silicone pumping parties than can lead to HIV infection, disfigurement or death.

Police brutality, as the Duanna Johnson case demonstrated in Memphis, is an issue we share with our bio brothers and sisters. We also have the added problem of being harassed by the people who are supposed to protect and serve us either verbally, physically or in some cases sexually.

Because our ministers have been more concerned with clocking dollars than uplifting the community and speaking truth to power, they've been acting and sounding more like white fundies instead of adhering to the traditional mission of the Black church to be drum majors for justice. That nasty rhetoric coming from our pulpits has opened gender variant kids up to being bullied, harassed and possibly killed. In some cases it has gotten so bad that some transpeople drop out of school because of it.

If you drop out, not only does it cut your income earning potential and your chances of landing a good paying job, it also greases the skids for you to end up in that vicious cycle that leads to the street life or worse.

The point that I must continue to make until some of my fellow African-Americans get it is that just because I transitioned, that doesn't forever divorce me or any of us from the African-American community. I am just as down with the goal of uplifting the race just as much as any non-transgender African-American.

We African-American transpeople want to do our part to help. But this is a two way road of mutual assistance. You have a moral obligation as fellow African-Americans to help us, too. We are your brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends. We are as Frederick Douglass wrote in a North Star editorial in 1847:

'We are one, our cause is one, and we must help each other; if we are to succeed.'

Frankie Beverly said the same thing in the song 'We Are One' a century later.



I would have to say that transgender issues weren't on his mind when he wrote this song, but the point is we are one people. We'll need help from our biobrothers and biosisters to help stop the misinformation, the violence directed at us by our own people and help from our elected lawmakers to expand civil rights laws so they protect us from job discrimination as well.

Yes, Black transgender issues are Black community issues. The sooner that realization takes hold and we begin working together to solve what ails Black transgender America, the sooner we African-American transpeople can do our jobs to help heal what ails Black America as well.

Are The US Mens B-Ballers Ready For Beijing?

The Men's Olympic basketball tournament kicks off on August 10. The question on just about everyone's minds in the States is will Team USA not only be ready to play, but bring the gold medal back to the United States?

They'd better be, since their opening game in Group B play will be against Yao Ming and the host Chinese. Coach Mike Krzyzewski and team tricaptains LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, and Carmelo Anthony will be making sure they are. In fact, LeBron James has guaranteed that Team USA will bring back Beijing gold.

In addition to James, Wade and Anthony, the 2008 edition of Team USA includes Chris Paul, Deron Williams, Jason Kidd, Kobe Bryant, Michael Redd, Tayshaun Prince, Chris Bosh, Carlos Boozer and Dwight Howard.

But their road to gold won't be easy. In addition to the 2004 Athens Games bronze medallists having to play Yao Ming and the Chinese team, Group B also includes Dirk Nowitzki and the Germans, Pau Gasol and the current FIBA World Champions Spain, perennial Africa Zone champion Angola and Greece.

And that's just in their group. Group A is even nastier with Manu Ginobili, Luis Scola, Andres Nocioni and the defending 2004 Olympic gold medallist Argentina, the Australians, the always tough Lithuanians, Andrei Kirilenko and the Russians, the Croatians, and the surprise Asian Zone champions Iran.

Over the course of the next two weeks, we'll see if Team USA can restore some of our lost luster as the preeminent world basketball powerhouse.

Zapata Remembered At Funeral As Courageous Friend

TransGriot Note: I'm happy to see that Angie's finally getting the respectful coverage that she deserved.

It's bad enough her life was tragically cut short. But she didn't deserve to be disrespected on top of that in print by using a birth gender role and a birth name that's widely at variance with the way she lived her life up until she was taken away from us. I pray that the people who did this are found and eventually brought to justice.

Thanks to everyone who called, wrote and complained to the Greeley Tribune to ensure this article became a reality.

by Jakob Rodgers
Greeley Tribune

Senior pastor Joe Sanchez solemnly stepped up to the front of the congregation, greeted those in attendance, and with a strong and commanding voice, offered his deep condolences.

"We are here to celebrate the life of a person, the life of a person cut down in the prime of their life. What can I tell you in this situation, it never feels good to come before a congregation like yourself to express what we feel about a young person that is taken from in the prime of their life."

Yet, with words of encouragement and of hope, nearly 200 friends and family of Angie Zapata wept in silence, smiled in memory and cried in remorse Wednesday night as they remembered the lively 18-year-old at the aptly-named Healing Place, 17801 E. 160th Ave. in Brighton.

"Death is always an interruption," said Sanchez, concerning a passage in the Bible, before speaking in Spanish as he did often during the service. "It never comes at a convenient time, and I believe that we know it is inevitable -- just not now, just not now Lord, I have so much to do. I have so much to say. I have so many relationships" to enrich.

Instead of focusing on the tragedy that took Zapata from their lives, those in attendance decided to remember her simple and unique qualities.

The way she would spoil her niece and nephew, even quitting a job to take care of them, as two friends reminisced during the service. The way she loved roses, the colors red and black, and way she always made sure her makeup was good -- even simply when taking a trip to Wal-Mart.

Perhaps, most of all, however, was the way she never backed down from who she was, instead saving the energy to care for her friends and family.

"She was always happy," said Alicia Portillo, one of Angie's friends. "She loved music. She didn't care what people thought of her. She always just wanted to be who she was and that was female and to be loved."

Portillo even said Zapata's courage helped her with her own identity as a lesbian.

"Angie gave me the power to not care what people thought of me."

Zapata was born male, but identified herself as a woman, and lived her life as such. Zapata was found dead on July 17 in her apartment on the 2000 block of 4th Street in Greeley, and her car -- a green 2003 Chrysler PT Cruiser, with the Colorado license plate number of 441ORN -- is still missing. Police have not said yet if her identity played a part in the homicide.

Kelly Costello, of the Colorado Anti-Violence Program, said the group thought it might be a hate crime, and that such incidences usually do not end with one act of violence. In 2007, he said, there were 19 deaths nationwide that were linked to either homophobic or transphobic violence.

"We often find that hate crimes have a ripple effect they effect every one that identifies in that community," said Costello. "So it's no longer about the individual, but there's an increased vulnerability and fear among the community."

After Zapata's body was carried from the church, Sanchez talked with friends and family, and recalled a message he tried shared with the family before the service.

"Give them hope," said Sanchez, who continuously remarked how happy he was Zapata began attending the church a month before her death. "And give them a desire to go on and to know that this isn't good-bye, but this is see you in the morning. It's not an end, it's not an end. It's a message of hope for eternity."

WNBA Basketbrawl

Some people are erroneously stating that what transpired in Detroit last night is the first WNBA oncourt brawl.

Nope, it isn't. The LA Sparks and Houston Comets tangled back on August 30, 1999.

As a Comets fan, I have no love for the Los Angeles Sparks. I have to guard against allowing the sarcastically nasty nickname some Houston fans have for that LA WNBA franchise from drifting into my WNBA posts from time to time.

Much of the dislike of the Sparks from a Comet fan's standpoint stems from not only the fact it was the hated Sparks that ended our attempt to fivepeat in 2001, but the 1999 WNBA Western Conference Finals.

During that final our emotions were still raw and reeling from the untimely cancer death of beloved Comets point guard Kim Perrot. The Comets flew from burying Kim in her hometown of Lafayette, LA straight to LA to play the Sparks in Game One and got beaten badly 75-60. In the process Lisa Leslie, DeLisha Milton and the rest of the Sparks were saluting each other and whooping it up on the bench as they took a 1-0 lead in the series.

They forgot they had to play Games 2 and 3 at Compaq. The Sea Of Red was angrily watching the hijinks in LA on TV back in H-town, interpreting the salutes as disrespect and circling August 29 on the calendar.

A sold-out and surly Compaq Center crowd awaited them. Every time Lisa Leslie touched the ball we booed her. We spent most of a very festive night hollering 'Beat L-A' and cheering about the 83-55 beatdown we put on the Sparks that evened the series and Comet fans saw as payback for the events of August 26.

The Comets beat them 72-62 on August 30 to clinch the WNBA Western Conference title in a game that was closer than the final score. Once it was clear the Comets would be moving on to the WNBA Finals and the '3 for 10' bid was still alive, after Sheryl nailed a three to expand a late Comets lead, Tina Thompson and Sheryl Swoopes saluted each other as they were running back up court. Lisa shoved Tina and it was on like Donkey Kong. It added more gasoline to the rivalry and for several years we couldn't stand Lisa Leslie in Houston.

So it didn't surprise me when I heard that one of the teams involved in a rare WNBA brawl was the Sparks. It also didn't surprise me it happened in Detroit. The Shock lived up to their nickname and derailed the Sparks bid to threepeat in 2003 (to the eternal gratitude of Comets fans).

So I would probably surmise that the Sparks have a heightened dislike for the Shock and the feeling is probably mutual. The Shock are also legitimate WNBA title contenders as well. With the early season headlines being grabbed by the Sparks after drafting all everythang player Candace Parker and the media practically giving them the crown before a game had been played probably generated a lot of resentment in WNBA locker rooms outside of Los Angeles.

With this game being nationally televised, the Shock not only wanted to prove that they were a championship caliber club, but wanted to set a physical, intimidating tone for what would happen if the two teams meet later this fall in the WNBA Finals.

Oh yeah, don't forget the Detroit head coach is 'Bad Boy' Bill Laimbeer.



The Sparks won this game in Auburn Hills 85-81, but everybody's going to remember the last five seconds of it.

Black In America

Tonight and tomorrow at 9 PM EDT CNN will devote four hours of its programming to talk about my peeps. It will rerun at midnight if you miss either part.

The show is called 'Black In America' and will be hosted by award winning journalist Soledad O'Brien.

Tonight's segment, called 'Black in America: The Black Woman and Family,' focuses on the issues of African-American women. Tomorrow's two-hour segment, 'The Black Man', will focus on the issues that impact them.


Soledad was a perfect choice to host this series. I've always liked her as a journalist, anyway. Hearing that she was doing this yearlong report allayed one of the concerns I had that it would drift into stereotypical cliches about us.

I feel confident that with her interesting personal background, this will be another one of her informative, balanced stories.

I remember the day I discovered Soledad O'Brien was African-American as well. I surmised she was Latina and her last name give you one major clue about her Irish heritage as well. But it took me watching C-SPAN coverage of a National Association of Black Journalists convention event that was happening in Indianapolis a few years ago to uncover the African-American piece.

During that NABJ event I happened to see her asking a question on camera. Someone mentioned that she was a member of the group and I had a 'say what?' moment. It piqued my interest in finding out a little more about her background and I discovered that her mother is Afro-Cuban. She's also a member of the National Association of Hispanic Journalists as well.

If you really want to gain a little insight into the world through the TransGriot's and other African-American eyes, make it a point to watch or Tivo this documentary.

No Blacks Or Mongolians Allowed?

Why am I not surprised?

According to the Huffington Post, citing a story from the Hong Kong based South China Morning Post, Beijing authorities are secretly plotting to keep Blacks and other people it considers 'undesirables' out of the city's bars during the Olympic Games set to kick off there August 8.

Bar owners in the Sanluitin district near the Olympic Stadium have been forced by Public Security Bureau officers to sign pledges not to allow Blacks into the city's bars.

The Danwei Chinese media analysis site called that report on the South China Morning Post 'highly unlikely' but admits that low level PSB cops may have issued such orders because the Chinese government has spent much cash to make these Games the showcase of a 'new China'. They are paranoid and nervous about the waves of foreign tourists traveling there for the Olympics.

I guess the One World, One Dream' slogan for these Games doesn't apply to people of African descent visiting Beijing for these games.

Another Transwoman Murdered, Another Media Diss

Umm, this is getting ridiculous on a lot of levels. It's my sad duty to report that another transgender teen has lost her life. This time it happened in Greeley, CO to 18 year old Latina Angie Zapata.

Her family was supportive of her transition, but you wouldn't know it based on once again, a reporter (Mike Peters) not cracking open the AP Stylebook and failing to follow the guidelines in it for reporting on transgender people.

I ask once again, how fracking hard is it to follow this?

transgender-Use the pronoun preferred by the individuals who have acquired the physical characteristics of the opposite sex or present themselves in a way that does not correspond with their sex at birth.

If that preference is not expressed, use the pronoun consistent with the way the individuals live publicly.

Well, at least the media is consistent. We've seen numerous examples of media reports, no matter where the story is written that utterly failed to respect African-American transwomen.

Now it's a Latina.

Once again, if the media won't do it and respect our fallen transpeople, then I'm gonna do it my damned self on TransGriot. I'm rewriting Mike Peters July 17 story from the Greeley Tribune to show you what a properly written story on a transgender person following the AP Stylebook guidelines should look like.

****

In a quiet neighborhood in southeast Greeley, police Thursday were investigating the death of a victim they identified only as "a young woman."

Police were called to the apartment house in the 2000 block of 4th Avenue at about 3 p.m. Thursday when the body of an 18-year-old transgender woman was found in an upstairs apartment. Police at the scene said it appeared the young woman may have been dead for several hours before she was found.

The neighborhood is one-half block south of the University of Northern Colorado Transportation office. It's also about two blocks southeast of the Jackson Field Sports Complex.

Neighbors gathered on front lawns and in the streets as police officers arrived at the scene to begin the investigation. Yellow crime tape sealed off the upper floors of the two-story apartment complex. The apartment house is probably the newest building in the neighborhood, a large brick building with eight apartments and parking in the back.

A large group of children gathered across the street in the parking lot of a mobile home court, watching from their bicycles as the family grieved and the victim's body was removed.

The young woman's mother was outside the apartment, crying and screaming at police that she wanted to see her daughter. After police told her several times that they were keeping people out of the apartment to preserve the evidence, she left with friends and family.

Neighbors in the area all said they didn't know the people who lived in the apartment building.

The identity of the young woman was not released by Thursday night, nor was the cause of death.

Weld County Coroner Maria Vincent said the death appears to be a homicide, so she could not give any details. Sgt. Adam Turn said Greeley Police were waiting to officially rule the death as a homicide until the autopsy is conducted at 10 a.m. today.

****

Of course, local transgender peeps and our allies are outraged by the disrespectful way Angie's murder was written up in the paper. Here's a press release from Kelly Costello of the Colorado Anti-Violence Project.

On Thursday, July 17, Angie Zapata, an 18-year old Latina transwoman was murdered in her home in Greeley, CO. She suffered two severe fractures in her skull. Her family believes that she was murdered by her boyfriend or members of her boyfriend's gang because of her gender identity.

The Greeley Tribune, a local newspaper reporting on this case, continues to use an incorrect name and pronouns for Angie. Her family has been very supportive of her and are both angry and upset at this lack of accuracy and sensi tivity in reporting. Please let the Greeley Tribune know that this is not acceptable and their lack of appropriate reporting is contributing to an environment where violence against transgender people is continuing. Contact information for the newspaper, editor and reporter is below.

The perpetrator has stolen Angie's sister's car, a very dark forest green 2003 Chrysler PT Cruiser with the Colorado license plate number 441ORN. There is a hubcap missing on the front passenger-side tire and there is paint missing on the front bumper on the driver-side, under the headlight.

Anyone with information about the car is asked to call the Greeley police through the communications center, 970-350-9600. In addition, Angie's cell phone and wallet were also stolen.

All media contacts should be directed to Kelly Costello, Director of Victim Services at the Colorado Anti-Violence Program (CAVP) at either kelly@coavp.org or 303-839-5204. CAVP works to eliminate violence within and against lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer communities in Colorado.

Kelly Costello
Director of Victim Services
Colorado Anti-Violence Program
P.O. Box 181085
Denver, CO 80218
www.coavp.org

(303)839-5204
(888)557-4441 toll-free

Greeley Tribune

Write a letter to the editor
http://apps.greeleytribune.com/utils/forms/lettertoeditor/

Randy Bangert, Editor
Phone Number: (970) 392-4435
E-Mail: rbangert@greeleytribune.com

Mike Peters, Reporter
Phone Number: (970) 392-4433
E-Mail: mpeters@greeleytribune.com

New Transsistah Blogs

I am pleased to tell you about these two transsistah blogs that are just cranking up.

Hopefully over time these blogs will garner a readership hungry for more viewpoints from African-American transwomen of all ages, experiences and from different parts of the country.

One day I hope to see the repression lift that my transgender brothers and sisters are facing on many parts of the African continent (and the Caribbean as well) so that they can tell their stories.

Stray Thoughts is written by my homegirl Blackbird up in the Pacific Northwest. She's been the author of an omline diary of her experiences for several years now, and it's nice to see her finally take the plunge and start her own blog.

Not Your Typical Girl is by Lola in the Midwest. I hope that once she establishes a posting schedule that works for her, that she will share more of her thoughts and experiences about being a twentysomething transsistah.

The more sisters and brothers telling their stories, the better as far as I'm concerned. If y'all run across any more blogs written by African-American transwomen, or are an African-American transwoman (or transman) starting one, please don't hesitate to post the name of your blog and a link to it in this thread.

Evolving Into Black Womanhood

A part of being intrinsically human is our imperative to evolve. To become better, stronger, faster, smarter and healthier.

Transpeople are no different. We just think about an element of it that most people don't, gender identity.

One of the subjects I spend a lot of time thinking about now that I'm on the other side of the gender fence is my continuing evolution towards being the best woman and the best person I can be, despite spending twenty plus years in a male body.

Whether women want to acknowledge it or not, like their transsisters, all girls do not come into the world from birth knowing everything there is to know about femininity and womanhood. The only advantages you have over transwomen is that you possess the body-brain gender map match at birth, you have a head start in learning it, were encouraged by your families and society to do so and have time in your teen years to make your mistakes as you grow into your gender role.

It's been often said that there's nothing harder than being a Black man or a Black woman. I'd like to introduce you to the Monica Roberts remix of that comment.

There's nothing harder than being a Black man or a Black woman in a mismatched body.

But it was the hand I was dealt, and all I can do now that I'm finally on the evolutionary path to womanhoood is deal with and move on. But how do you do that?

First order of business is to decide what is the image of Black womanhood that you want to personally project to the world? Once you get that part figured out, then you take the time to observe the fine examples of Black womanhood around you.

One thing we transwomen share with you is that we also get to watch and (hopefully) learn from the mistakes the biowomen and transwomen surrounding us made. You pick and choose the qualities you like that's close to the target feminine image in your mind in terms of fashion tips, style, traits and personality. You toss out the stuff you don't like or doesn't work for you as you evolve to match on the outside the unique person that's on the inside.

I had wonderful role models and examples in terms of my mother, aunts, my sisters various cousins and friends. I had other women I came in contact with from school, my church, work, and just being out and about in the world that had admirable qualities as well.

The other ingredient that's part of an evolution into Black womanhood is pride. Pride in yourself and pride in our people. The pride in yourself is sometimes hard to come by as a transwoman because of the daily slings and arrows you suffer from society as you transition. There are the shame and guilt issues we're plagued with from time to time that we all have to work through no matter how long we've been transitioning in addition to all the traditional issues Black women in society grapple with.

But having that pride translates into making sure that you not only look good, but your behavior is on point and you carry yourself with class and dignity. Once you do that, then the inner beauty begins to shine through and you begin to feel more comfortable and at ease with yourself.

You also have to be on guard as a transwoman into not having your evolving Black womanhood based solely on your body. You also have to be on guard against believing the negative hype and feeling that the only thing that values you is how many 'husbands' you have showering you with attention, how many you sleep with, or your femininty is tied up in how big your butt or breasts are.

Beauty fades over time, and that tight body you had in your twenties and thirties will eventually fall victim to gravity and a slowing metabolism. You should be developing your mind in conjunction with your body development.

The body is also the easy part of the transition as well. But as the initial awkward phase of a body transition fades and you have staring back at you the face and body of a chocolate (or all the other shades from vanilla creme to dark ebony) Nubian goddess standing before you, it's hard not to be proud of that and proud of the many accomplishments of our people despite tremendous odds.

That brings me to another ingredient in the evolutionary path, knowing our history. You have to look at the fact that we are descended from people that survived the Middle Passage. A gender transition is nothing compared to what Black women endured during slavery, emancipation and still endure even today, but still found ways to uplift our race, this country and themselves. Once you put a gender transition in that context, it makes me feel sometimes that I have to step up my game and be on point just to be worthy of Black womanhood.

My being the Phenomenal Transwoman also stands on the shoulders and the work of the people that proceeded me. From Avon Wilson, the first African-American transwoman to go through the now shuttered Johns Hopkins gender program in the mid 60's, the kids at Dewey's Lunch Counter and the sisters at Stonewall standing up for their rights, to Justina Williams, the late Roberta Angela Dee and all those transwomen who either lived their lives not letting anyone know their secret or who were out and proud before it was cool to be out and proud..

Don't let biowomen make you feel less than female because you can't bear children. There are more than a few biowomen who are in the non childbearing boat with their transsisters, and I don't see any mad rush to call them 'men' because of it.

The final ingredient is spirituality. Faith in God, or whatever you call the higher power that's greater than yourself. Nurturing a faith that will sustain you through the rough times and allow you to appreciate the blessings. And while I complain about it at times, being transgender is one of those blessings.

I and many of my sisters take our evolution into Black womanhood that seriously. But unfortunately there are others who aren't that conscious of what they're stepping up to when they swallow their first hormones or took their first shot to jump start the transition, or have a Toni Childsesque attitude toward it.

I and many of my transsisters aren't wanting to be seen as a detriment to Black womanhood. We wish to be seen as a compliment to it as we follow our evolutionary destinies and make body and feminine gender mapped minds mesh together.

For all the African-American transwomen past, present and future, I owe it to them to not only live my life open and honestly as an African-American transwoman and share my truths, but to do it in a manner that honors them and our biosisters as well.

Happy 90th Birthday Nelson Mandela!

'No power on earth can stop an oppressed people determined to win their freedom.' Nelson Mandela. June 26, 1961

Today is the 90th birthday of a civil rights icon and a hero of mine, former South African president Nelson Mandela. The birthday boy is looking good and still speaking eloquently on many issues after all these years.







He's celebrating with family and friends today ar his rural homestead in southeastern South Africa. The rest of the world gets the chance to celebrate with him at a reception for 500 dignitaries tomorrow.

The man who spent 27 years of his life imprisoned on Robben Island for fighting apartheid, became the first president of a post-apartheid South Africa. He is one of those rare people who transcends their national boundaries to become a citizen of the world.

Nelson Mandela is an inspiration to me as I and others work to not only help transgender people gain their constitutionally guaranteed rights, but have their humanity respected as well.

Just as Dr. King and the African-American civil rights movement served as a model for the anti-apartheid freedom movement for my South African cousins, I look to both movements for lessons that will help us achieve our goals.

Mandela's birthday reminds us not only that one person can make a difference, but one person can also inspire a nation to do what many people and nay-sayers claim is impossible.

As they reverently call him in South Africa, happy birthday, Madiba. May the birthdays that God continues to bless you with be happy ones.

Pizza Run

Yesterday Polar and I decided we wanted to grab a bite to eat. We were in the mood for pizza, and since both of us were off from work we decided to go run out and get some.

In Indianapolis.

Actually, the reason we bypassed our favorite pizza place in Louisville (Impellizzeri's) and drove 100 miles for it was not just because we had the 'we need a road trip' itch that needed scratching,

It was an opportunity that popped up to meet newlyweds Waymon and Anthony, see Marti again (I haven't seen her in the flesh since the NTAC Lobby Day in DC last year) and congratulate her personally for being elected as a transgender delegate repping Indiana for the upcoming Democratic National Convention in Denver.

I'd also finally get the opportunity to fulfill my promise for a face-to-face meeting with Bil.

After Polar scooped me up at the house and we battled our way through the late afternoon rush hour traffic trying to get across the Kennedy Bridge to the Indiana side of the Ohio River, we stopped in Sellersburg to get gas.

It's cheaper there than it is here in Louisville, a fact that we in Da Ville gripe about every day. There's an investigation under way by Kentucky's state attorney general Jack Conway as to why we in Da Ville are paying far more for reformulated gas than our neighboring cities Indianapolis, Nashville and Cincinatti.

After Polar filled the tank, off we rolled northward up I-65 at a 70 mile per hour clip to our dinner rendezvous. I-65 is a major truck route and we noted the fact that like us, the truckers had pretty much slowed it down to doing speed limits these days and not because the Indiana State Police were busy patrolling the road in both directions.

We were enjoying life on the road again. Enjoying the scenery and seeing the corn grow at various heights as we passed numerous farms and outlet malls. We recounted past roadtrips as the numbers on the green mile markers on the side of the road steadily climbed up and the highway mileage between us and Indianapolis went down. It wasn't long before we reached I-465, the beltway interstate that loops Indy and headed east on it to the Washington Ave exit and our final stop at a pizza place in Irvington.

As we rode I-465 I noticed a gas price of $3.98 as we talked about the efforts of David Letterman fans back in 2002 to name the entire 60 mile I-465 loop for him. I knew from previous trips that I-65 through Indy was named for singer and Indianapolis native Kenneth 'Babyface' Edmonds and wondered if they were going to name a freeway for another Indy native, Vivica A. Fox. (I love me some Vivica A. Fox)

Polar pointed out the western end of I-465 that runs past the airport and the Indianapolis Motor Speedway is named for four time Indy champ (and a fellow Houstonian) AJ Foyt, Jr.

We finally arrived at the pizza place in picturesque Irvington and ran into Marti, who arrived at the same time we did. After we all greeted each other, we were escorted by one of the enthusiastic young servers to the patio area where Bil and the happy couple were waiting for us.

Unfortunately, Jerame wasn't there, but we did spend a wonderful few hours talking shop, plotting the next moves of 'The Gay Agenda', getting to know each other on a personal level, Waymon and I telling a few stories from our airline days, Marti and I talking about some transgender issues, and catching up on the latest political news while Polar broke out his political science degree to pontificate on it.

We also got a good laugh about the latest tired twist to the 'TBP is too Black' spin. The whispers on the GLBT Net now is that the Project is a 'Black gay website'.

All power to GLBT Black people (raising clenched fist in air). Hmm, wish I'd worn my black polo shirt and black beret for the photos now that I've heard that nonsense.

And how was the pizza?

It was great, and so were the people I was eating it with.


Crossposted to The Bilerico Project