Choose Life, Not Suicide!

Iris Sahhara Henson is my across The Pond African Diaspora trans sister from Nigeria who left her homeland to move to London and live her life.  But she had a few challenges getting to that point of being comfortable in her skin and being the remarkable woman she is now. 

She has an important message to share with our young trans persons (and trans persons of any age) to choose life and not suicide. 

You're A Superhero

"Because having the power to love yourself and others enough to fight for better in a world that fears and hates you, is nothing short of a superheroic feat in and of itself."-- Denny Upkins
 
I have some pretty smart people I hang around with don't I?

Denny's comment has some serious truth to it as well.  As a marginalized person we deal with on an almost daily basis microaggressive and macroaggressive discrimination aimed at us and the challenge of living in a world that is mostly hostile to us.

But yet many of us get out of bed every morning, look in the mirror, smile at it, and get ready to face the self-esteem challenging day ahead of us.

Some of us have developed over time and through facing many trials and obstacles in our lives such an unshakeable self love for ourselves that it does enable us to confidently go about our daily lives and defeat whatever challenges come our way. 

Yes, we have superheroes walking amongst us.  They have superstrengthened character.  They have the vision to imagine a better world.  They have the endurance to run the race and fight the battles that will change society for the better.  They whip out the utility belt of justice to combat injustice and unjust laws.   They break out the Lasso of Truth when necessary to stamp out lies and disinformation spread about our trans lives.  They have the steely determination to win when others in their community express fading hope that it will ever happen for girls and guys like us.

Those superheroes have decided they want a better world for the people who come behind them, and are willing to rise up and do what it takes to make that world a reality.   Sometimes those people may fail in that lofty task  Sometimes they show signs they are oh so human in terms of being frustrated with the pace of change or rocked by events beyond their control. 

But they continue to fight for themselves and the community they love until they win. 

But superhero status isn't just reserved for the people who stand up and fight for truth, justice and human rights for all.  You are a superhero for just getting up every day to live your authentic lives against the odds.  For telling the world this is who I am and I will have the last word on who the person is that I project to the world.  

And we have our superhero sidekicks and allies who aid us in our mission of being the best people we can be and fighting for a decent, just and humane world. 

Yes, you're a superhero.  And don't ever let anyone tell you you're not or allow someone to make you feel like you are less than human.. 
 

My Trans Images In Entertainment Expanded Commentary

Because of the global reach of my blog and I'm not 'scurred' to give my thoughts about many issues inside and outside of the trans community, I get my share of opportunities to comment on the issues of the day.  

Sometimes they even end up in print in places other than this blog.

Recently GLAAD and The Wrap asked me and 10 other personalities in the community that included Kye Allums, Isis King, Jamie Clayton, and Mia Ryan from Houston Beauty to comment on Trans Images in Entertainment. 

My comments for the article:

1. What transgender story or character has been particularly meaningful or impactful to you?

"The best trans characters so far have been Edie Stokes in a 1977 episode of  The Jeffersons and the Alexis Meade character on Ugly Betty."

2. What is a common stereotype or cliché in stories about transgender people that you never want to see again?

"Trans media representation has been a mixed bag. We still have media outlets that refuse to follow GLAAD and AP Stylebook standards. What I would like to see are trans actors and actresses actually playing trans people, trans writers writing those roles and stories."

***
Since I was limited in the amount of words I could say in this commentary, I wasn't able to expound on them as I would have liked or can do on these electronic pages. 

So let me get started with that process right now.

As for Question 1, as someone who was wrestling with gender identity issues at the time and wondering where the trans people were who looked like me, the Edith Stokes character was a revelation at the time.  I would see after that episode two years later the first of the JET stories about transpeople who shared my ethnic heritage.

The Alexis Meade character played by Rebecca Romijn, although it was in a dramedy, actually was groundbreaking in showing a glamorous trans woman in a professional work atmosphere and in a position of power and influence.  It also realistically at times touched upon the very real issues of discrimination, differing immediate family reactions to the transition and Alexis adjusting to life in her gender role.

To expand upon my answer in Question 2, one of the things that has bothered me when I ponder the issue of fictional trans media images, is that the Edith Stokes character has been one of the few African-American trans fictional characters that hasn't fit into a stereotype.

Ever since then it has been the loud drag queen, the street hooker, the escort or the over the top personality for comic relief especially when it involves a trans character of color.  Some don't even get to survive longer than the opening five to ten minutes in the program because they are a victim of a crime.  

Other times we don't get a trans woman to play a trans woman.  It's either a male actor in drag or a cis woman playing a trans woman.  Sometimes they even do so with the cis woman's voice electronically lowered as Pam Grier's was in the 1996 movie Escape From LA when she played the transfeminine character Hershe Las Palmas.

When we finally did get a trans woman to play a trans character on the ABC show Dirty Sexy Money, Carmelita Rainer, the trans girlfriend of Sen. Patrick Darling IV played by Candis Cayne was killed during the second season.  

When Kerry Washington played a trans woman in the 2009 movie Life Is Hot In Cracktown, she revealed during an interview that she almost didn't get the role of Marybeth because she was considered by the director 'too beautiful' to play a transwoman.

Excuse me?  And that's before we even start talking about trans men.  Fictional characters to represent them are pretty much non-existent for trans men of color. 

While that's starting to change a bit, we still have a long way to go in terms of getting some balance for the fictional media images of transpeople and especially non-white trans people

Bella Maddo was a film that featured an all-trans cast.  Jamie Clayton played trans woman Kyla for several episodes during the third season of the HBO show Hung and Laverne Cox currently has a groundbreaking role as Sophia Burset on the Netflix show Orange Is The New Black.

But one thing I would love to see is a fictional trans woman, and especially a transwoman of color play a professional character who happens to be a trans woman more often.  I'd like to see more trans men pop up in fiction  We do exist in the real world Hollywood, so get busy creating them. 

Or if you're too busy for the job, you hand me the cash and I'll be happy to come up with the script for one. 

We can only hope that happens sooner rather than later.     

Laverne Cox On MSNBC's 'Disrupt'

Little sis Laverne Cox was back on MSNBC Saturday, but this time it was on Karen Finney's MSNBC's show 'Disrupt' to talk about the passage of ENDA trans issues and Transgender Awareness Week.

If you didn't catch it live on Saturday, you know I have the video for you.

Happy Veterans Day 2013 Trans Vets

Today is Veterans Day in the US, and once again I get to express my love, gratitude and appreciation to the over 140,000 trans vets according to a Williams Institute survey who served our nation, are still serving in silence, or who paid the ultimate price in our nations' armed forces. 

As I constantly remind people and will not allow the LGB community to forget until that is rectified,  the 2011 repeal of DADT did nothing for trans people.

Unlike transpeople in nine nations, transpeople in the United States who wish to do so are banned from sering in our armed forces.  

As many of you know I support open military service for trans people, and support the efforts of the new organization SPART*A  that formed July 22 to make that a reality. 

Trans veterans not only served our nation, they have and continue to provide principled and solid leadership for not only their fellow veterans, but our trans community and all the communities they intersect and interact with.  And yes, many of the trans community's leaders and icons such as the late Christine Jorgensen have the common thread of having served in our nation's armed forces.

Trans veterans have not only helped to fight for expanded human rights laws for all Americans, but policies that help make the lives of people in the trans community and veterans like themselves better. 

Happy Veterans Day trans vets!   Thank you for your service to our nation and to our community.

What We Has Here Is A Fauxgressive Failure to Communicate 4

Been a while since I posted one of these, but had another FB run in with someone in a trans group no less named Jocelynne Valeta who failed to understand that 'anti-racism' doesn't mean you don't talk about racism and doing so is 'being a victim.'

This is the comment that started the thread that I wrote the post about transpeople of color not having the luxury of separating race and ethnicity from our trans status that far too many white people don't (or refuse to) understand.     

im offended when ppl add race, ethnicity, or gender restrictions to anything, Trans in itself is enough of a minority i personally don't feel we need to break up anymore... hey maybe its just me; im not trying to be rude.

My immediate response to her was- Transpeople of color do not have the luxury of separating our race from our trans status. They are inextricably part of us.

She made some comments that she subsequently deleted before I had a chance to copy the thread for posterity before she jumped back in it later.    Here's the thread  

• Black Transmen Resources No Restrictions:) Hope you can benefit from the core of our intent:
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  Black Transmen Resources Our conference theme this year is "One Earth. One People. One Love." inviting trans and gender non-conforming individuals and our family, friends and community allies to gather, educate, learn, build and grow together in unity.

  
  
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  Monica Roberts Transpeople of color do not have the luxury of separating our race from our trans status. They are inextricably part of us.
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  Monica Roberts Jocelynn...you may not like the fact that we have Black, Latina and Asian trans groups, organizations and conventions, but they didn't come out of a vacuum.
  
  As Kwame Ture said, 'in order to become a part of the greater society, you must first close ranks.
  
  People of color face anti POC hatred whether we are trans or not and being trans only magnifies that. And some of the worst manifestations of that anti-POC hatred are in our own TBLG ranks.
  
  What we do have, if the trans community will seize that opportunity, is to lead by example in eradicating racism in its subset of society

  
  
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  Monica Roberts Sadly, yes, it is is and has been for over 4 centuries...

  
  
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  Monica Roberts You're not even paying attention to what I'm trying to point out. Your lived experience doesn't trump the lived experience of someone who has taken the brunt of the white supremacist attitudes since birth,, much less her people's 400 year history of living in the Americas..

  
  
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  Monica Roberts FYI some of the worst race riots during the civil rights movements happened in NORTHERN cities
  
  After this comment, here's where she jumps back into the thread after hastily running from the conversation in the first place and decides to start flinging insults that I ignored 
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  Jocelynn Veleta the bottom line is this is a support group your so caught up in playing the role of the victim you cant see here and now... you cant see that racism and hate no longer is a problem for just a minority; we all face this problem as a whole society and all are victims. we can all stop being victims and stand up TOGETHER or we can stay divided and poke at other minorities.
  
  Now the group admin jumps in: 

  
  
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  Barbara Barrett ADMIN: Being trans AND a person of colour brings it's own special brands of problems, and only the oppressed can define oppression - would you like a Cis person deciding what's transphobic? If I see one more HINT of racism here I shall be very angry!

  
  
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  Monica Roberts You're the one that posted this Jocelynn
  
  im offended when ppl add race, ethnicity, or gender restrictions to anything, Trans in itself is enough of a minority i personally don't feel we need to break up anymore... hey maybe its just me; im not trying...See More

  
  
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  Jocelynn Veleta thank you for saving that i am offended when u break up a support group to argue race

  
  
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  Jocelynn Veleta this time im really done replying ill leave it for moderators and if ya want to boot me for being all anti-racist go ahead

  45 minutes ago · Like
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  Monica Roberts And I'm offended Jocelynn when you make such a knee jerk reactive clueless statement on the comment of a Black trans group promoting their upcoming Dallas trans conference open to all, you failing to see how problematic that was, and then running when you get called on it.

  
  
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  Aleka McAdams Intersectionality, yo. We aren't trans in a vacuum. It's not about dividing the community. It's about recognizing that different people within the community have different challenges. Just look at the statistics of violence against trans women of color versus white trans women.

  
  
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  Monica Roberts Race and class and how it affects trans people of color is an issue worthy of discussion in a trans group too. Who told you that lie it wasn't?

  
  
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  Jocelynn Veleta never said it wasnt, what you were trying to do was break apart the trans community by race while i said if we all stuck together we would work more things out

  
  
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  Jocelynn Veleta also you dont need to be attacking me you also took a comment on a black trans group and used it to further YOUR argument with me about race

  
  
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  Monica Roberts anti-racist? Jocelynn, you aren't even close to being that if you can't openly acknowledge the point that racist attitudes permeates American society, still affects POC's in the second decade of the 21st century, can't see past your own unacknowledged white privilege and how it has shaped your thinking (as the playing the victim conservacomment demonstrates) and that racism= prejudice plus systemic power.

  
  
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  Jocelynn Veleta i never once argued about race, i argued that adding a race label to a Trans group does not make it a safe atmosphere for all trans, it does the opposite of uniting us

  
  
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  Barbara Barrett bloody hell, look luvs it is really really simple - only people who experience something are able to explain it to those who do not experience it - these groups serve that function because from them the rest of the community learns! That is not racist, nor is it trying to break the community.

  
  
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  Monica Roberts and as I said simply earlier in the thread and will expand on.
  
  Transpeople of color do not have the luxury of separating our race and ethnicity from our trans status. They are inextricably part of us and affect how we experience a gender transition.

  
  
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  Jocelynn Veleta you can quote half my text but not the other then leave out the other and use your context to say i didn't acknowledge what i actually did so your insulting yourself by sounding stupid not me. i never minimized oppression i did the opposite and pointed out that everyone has struggles instead of them seperating us they should unite us

  
  
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  Monica Roberts Girlfriend, better hit Google before you step to me. I lecture colleges on these issues.

  
  
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  Barbara Barrett THIS STOPS NOW

  
  
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  Barbara Barrett 5. This is a no-hate zone. Personal attacks will not tolerated.

  
  
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  Barbara Barrett 3. Content intended to evoke hate against others will be removed and the person that posted it will be banned.

  
  
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  Barbara Barrett These rules are in the Pinned Post at the head of the page

  
  
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  Barbara Barrett I do not _want_ to ban anyone, I'd much rather everyone took a deep breath and let it go; and try to see it from the other side - you might even grow

  
  
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  Black Transmen Resources No worries friends. The topic of racism and appreciating difference is a long term task. It is a plus for us to have dialogue around these issues so that we may overcome them and to fully love all of who we are. This is also great headway in topics being discussed at our conference. "One Earth. One People. One Love." I see no need to ban. If we do that then we miss the opportunity of growth.

  
  
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  Barbara Barrett I'd like to be kept apprised of these efforts because I believe they're important to the whole community so I've sent you a friend request Black Transmen Resources which I hope you'll accept
  
  ***

And that's when I jumped out of it because had I said anything else I probably would have set off another round and probably been banned from the group 

But it's just another day of a Black person saying something white person doesn't like or that doesn't fit their vanillacentric privileged worldview and getting insulted for it.

Sigh.