Must See Trans TV- 'My Pregnant Husband' Airs Tonight

The last time I spent any quality time together with with Myles and Precious Brady-Davis was during the 2016 Creating Change in Chicago when Precious was one of the four co-chairs of the event.

We jokingly call both of them the Trans Obamas' because this trans power couple are Chicago residents, have actually met the former POTUS and are both working in the nonprofit sector.

And as you probably guessed, I have much love and respect for both of them.

Back in December, they welcomed a daughter Zayn into the world, and the birth of their child actually led to a policy change in the state of Illinois for trans parents. 

The initial birth certificate misgendered both Miles and Precious.   It was corrected to show Myles is the father and Precious is the mother.

They also had an interesting journey to parenthood that is a story in itself.

All of that to say that once again, Myles and Precious will be on our TV screens for the TLC show My Pregnant Husband.   It's not their first time on TLC, because Precious appeared on Say Yes To The Dress a few years ago.

It not only follows Myles and Precious' journey to parenthood, it also focuses on the challenges they faced as unapologetic Black trans people. 

The parenting journey of Seattle based trans man Ari and his cis wife Caitlyn is also followed in this hour long episode as well.    It also serves as a comparison and contrast to how the pregnancies of the transgender men differed

.Looking forward to this latest episode of Must See Trans TV happening at 9 PM CDT tonight.

Happy Valentine's Day 2019

Today is Valentine's Day.  As has been the case for the last decade, I bought my own candy, have a bottle of wine and have a stack of DVD romantic comedies to watch to get me through this day.

I'm not mad at you peeps who are booed up and are spending this day being wined, dined, spoiled rotten and having flowers sent to your homes or jobs.   It just hasn't happened for me.

One of the things I did some hard solid thinking about before I made the decision 25 years ago to handle my transition business involved relationships.   In fact I'd just come out of a three year one, and was getting interest from another cis woman at the time I transitioned.

I knew that if I transitioned, there was the possibility that I would never get into another relationship ever again.   But the need to be authentic me trumped that.  I also started transition in 1994 with the plan to have at least a five year moratorium on any romantic entanglements until I got used to comfortably living life in a feminine body. 

Little did I anticipate that the five year relationship moratorium would stretch out to now 25 years.   It also didn't help that during this dating hiatus I was a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding in 2004.

As I like to say about my dating hiatus, I've been wandering the dating Sinai for so long that the booed up couples on their way to the dating Promised Land shake their head at me as they pass me by.  It's not that I intended to be single for this long.   Just haven't found the right person for me combined with other complications compounding it. 

I had one guy who was interested in me, but the price I would have paid to be in that relationship was too high for me.  I would have had to pull out of all activism and have zero contact with the trans community as long as we were together because he was on the trans dating down low. 

Y'all know what my two word answer to that request was.

There was also the brother when I lived in Louisville who was interested, but I discovered he was married.  Naw player, I'm a first round draft choice.   I'm nobody's sloppy seconds or undrafted free agent.  Neither am I going to be the side piece breaking up somebody's marriage and inviting that negative karma into whatever potential relationship I ended up in.

I thought about expanding my dating horizons, and have had two women so far approach me.  But as of yet, no one of any gender has stepped into my life that has rocked my world to the point I was head over heels in love with them.   Conversely, the people I have been interested in also turned out to already be taken or just not into me beyond friendship.

Yeah, I have relationship requirements.  Number one is no trans attracted men need apply who want to keep me as their secret lover.  You must be as unapologetic about dating trans women as I am about living my life.   If you're ashamed to show me off to your boys or your family, step.

I like going to restaurants, getting flowers and chocolate and to be spoiled on my Cuatro de Mayo birthday.   I like doing public stuff that requires you taking me out in daylight and early evening hours. 

I like going to sporting events. movies and museums.  I like bowling, miniature golf and shooting pool.  And yes, while I'm at those sporting events, if the ref makes a lousy call, they will hear it from me.

As an advocate, there will be times you will be a plus one for the community events, galas and fundraisers I get invited to.   I'm also a nationally and internationally recognized trans advocate.  If you can't handle the level of attention I get while I'm out and about, then maybe you should rethink stepping to me.

In a nutshell, I'm looking for quality, not quantity.  It's the way I've always ran my dating life, and transition didn't change that aspect of my personality.   But the reality is now I'm looking for love in a smaller dating pool, and as I get older, that pool continues to shrink.

If it happens for me, cool.  If it doesn't, I'll just continue focusing on making the world a better place for all the trans peeps behind me and rooting for you as you find your forever loves.

Open Letter To Trinity About Relationships

Dear Trini,
I understand from your mom that you are concerned that because you are a young Black trans girl blossoming into an awesome woman, that you will not find love because you are Black and trans.

Little Sis, I definitely feel you and understand why you're concerned about this subject.  While it hasn't been easy for me and some of your Black trans feminine elders when it comes to us finding that forever love., know that being Black and trans is not an impediment or insurmountable barrier for eventually finding the right person to love, be they cisgender or transgender. 

I know Black trans women that have not only managed to date successfully, they have found their life partners in the process.

And as someone who has been single for a while, I'm deliriously happy that they are.

Who are they, you're probably asking?   Let me pull out the receipts and show you who some of your Black trans elders who have found love are. 

I'll start with Precious Brady Davis.   She not only has been happily married to her husband Myles,  we call then in Black Trans World the Trans Obamas.

In addition, Precious' search for the perfect wedding gown was broadcast on the show Say Yes To The Dress: Atlanta

Need more proof?   Janet Mock.     She has been happily married to her man Aaron for several years now.  She got married back in November 2015.

As for Black trans women who are in relationships, my homegirl Jessica Zyrie has been in a relationship for several months with her boyfriend Alexander Lane Miller.   

Myself and everyone observing them can see they are both in love with each other.

All of us who love Alexander and Jessica are rooting for them to also jump the broom should their relationship develop to that level.

Laverne Cox has recently revealed that she is dating her boyfriend Kyle and has been doing so for a year.   She has been upfront about her dating struggles, and it's nice to know that someone finally has noted the quality woman she is and stepped to her. 

That's before I even mention some of my Black trans girlfriends who are non disclosed, and either were or still are married.   The other point I want to make is that those people I'm shouting out  were (or still are) married for a decade or longer.

I also have to mention some of our trailblazing Black trans feminine transcestors.   Lucy Hicks Anderson got married twice in her fascinating life.

Same with Georgia Black.   She got married twice in her life in large part because she outlived both her husbands.

Every year that I go to BTAC in Dallas, I see romance blooming at that unapologetically Black trans conference.   Some of the relationships that started there have eventually led to marriage, while other relationships went on and then fizzled out for a wide variety of reasons. 

That's life.  Some people are in your relationship life to teach you specific lessons or show you what you DON'T want in a relationship or life partner.   That happens so that when your soulmate does come into your life, you'll know it. 

So Trini, the best advice I can give you is to focus on being the best Trini you can be.  The relationship will come. 

And whoever that wise person is that eventually hooks up with you in a relationship will be extremely blessed to have you.

Love you,
Aunt Monica

If You Can't (Or Won't) Unapologetically Love A Black Trans Woman, Step

This cartoon has been making the rounds in Black trans feminine world probably because it has struck a nerve to the point it motivated me to write this post about relationships.

Far too often we have some trans attracted men who wish to date us, but only if we keep it a secret. Many are too scared to live in their truth about declaring their desire to openly date trans women without judgment from society.   Some demand relationship secrecy out of concern for their own egos, concerns about what other cisgender women or their homies will say, or fear they will have their manhood questioned for openly dating us.

That social and political shaming of cis men who date trans women is a factor in what is killing us.

So hear me on this fellas and my trans sisters.  Time for a new game plan.  If you can't or won't publicly date me or my trans sisters, don't need your cowardly behind. We'll go to someone else who ain't 'scurred' to unapologetically date us and is ready to do so.

We Black trans women want to be taken out during daylight and early evening hours to public places. We wish to be occasionally spoiled and treated like the regal queens we are.

And if the relationship progresses to another level, we wish to be proudly introduced by you as your girlfriend to your family and friends.

We are not your secret lovers, hit it and quit it sloppy seconds, your punching bags because life is frakking with you or your after 2 AM booty call. We are women of quality and substance who scratch, fight and claw with every fiber of our being daily to be recognized by society as the women we know we are.

We are women who know they deserve better in relationships and aren't afraid to demand our suitors meet or exceed those high LTR standards.

Being in a relationship with a Black trans woman requires you to step your relationship game up. The world at times is unrelentingly cruel to us, and there are days we just need a hug, an empathetic ear, chocolate, an "I love you" whispered into our ear as were cuddling or all of the above.

We need you to be a best friend and a lover.

If you can't handle the challenge of loving a Black trans woman, then step. If you can, like the Marines, we're looking for a few good men, be they cis or trans.

Black trans women are their unapologetic selves 24-7-365, and 366 days in a leap year. We need LTR partners who not only recognize that, but are confident and secure in their own personhood to do the same.

Ginuwine Is NOT Into You, India

And note to all you peeps bitching about it,  that doesn't make him transphobic.

If he has followed his comment to India up with anti-transgender rhetoric and ignorance like  Lil Duval did on The Breakfast Club radio show a few months ago, then we would have a legitimate case to complain about transphobia.

The Net it tripping and erroneously calling R&B singer Ginuwine transphobic because he stated to British television presenter India Willoughby that he wasn't into trans women, and resisted when she tried to kiss him.

Then there's also the problematic look of a TransBecky getting mad because the handsome brother isn't into her cougar behind.

Who you like sexually and are attracted to is a matter of personal preference.   Some people are down with interracial relationships, some prefer intraracial relationships.   Some people prefer same gender loving relationships, some don't.  .Some people are into dating and having an intimate relationship with trans people and others aren't.

Some folks like certain body types.  Some like skinny, thin framed people.  Some like them curvy and full figured.  Some like petite, some like tall.   Some like people with athletic builds.  Some want their partners in a certain age range.   Some want intelligent ones. . 

We trans women cover that wide range of feminine bodies and personalities.  When you encounter as a trans woman somebody who isn't into you, all you can do is just say 'Thanks for letting me know your dating preferences", and then move on to find someone who is open to dating trans people in a short or long term relationships. .

So naw India, I'm not on #TeamTrans on this one.    Ginuwine is not into you, so stop tripping. 

The fact he;s not into you doesn't make him a transphobe..

What If Betty Married Veronica?

This was a created cover that hasn't been published (yet), but borrow on the Archie storylines in which he visualized what his life be like if he got married to Veronica or Betty.   There was a subsequent storyline in which Valerie took the walk down Memory Lane not long after she and her family moves to Riverdale and imagines her life as Archie's spouse.

There is already a gay male character in the Archie comics universe in Kevin Keller, so it stands to reason that we could play the 'what if' scenario with these iconic characters in Betty and Veronica.

Betty and Veronica, despite being rivals for Archie's indecisive romantic attention and wandering eye, have been best friends ever since Veronica and her family moved to Riverdale.

So it's not inconceivable to envision a scenario in which both of them get together one night and have the epiphany that their friendship has a deep romantic component to it that eventually leads to them kicking Archie to the curb and exclusively dating and marrying each other.

It would be interesting to see how both Betty and Veronica's families handle their relationship and eventual marriage,   It would also be cool to see how they handle being a married couple in Riverdale and the ripple effects from it.

And yes, while Betty is and can be as glamorous as Veronica, Betty does know what tools are for and has a demonstrated ability to work on cars.

The initial one is that Archie now has to choose between Valerie and Cheryl Blossom as future romantic partners, or someone else currently not in the picture since Veronica and Betty would no longer be romantically available to him, and they could only be just friends..

There would also be other ripple effect that would be revealed as their interesting 'what if' relationship progressed and developed.

And as a longtime Archie Comics fan I'd love to see someone tackle it.

Kyle Dixon of 'Below Deck' Comes Out As Trans Attracted

“Most men who are attracted to and date transgender women are probably stigmatized more than trans women are,  I think a man who is dating trans women, who is a celebrity, or famous or is an athlete or something, needs to come forward –- or a musician –- and needs to say, ‘I love transgender women and [they] deserve to be loved and I’m going to declare that publicly.’ I think those men need some sort of inspiration and hope, so they can live more authentically.”-Laverne Cox 

Trans folks are just like everyone else in this planet in that we are looking for someone who not only loves us, but will do so until death do us part.    One thing that I admire and envy about our transmasculine population is that they far more often are in relationships that can and do lead to marriage with cisgender people  

It does happen for girls like us.  I know trans women who have been in relationships, married to or have been married to cis men in some cases for decades.   But in my two decades of personal observations of our community, I've seen far more transmasculine folks in coupled relationships with cis people than I have trans feminine people coupes with cis people and know from personal experience how hard it is for a trans feminine person to date. .

I have met and count among my friends some amazing cis men who have dated,are currently dating or are happily married to trans women

When I have those conversations with those cis men about why they love girls like us, the reasons go across the spectrum, but the major takeaways are that they date us because they prefer and see trans women as viable dating and life partners.

What Laverne was talking about in that June 2015 SiriusXM Progress interview with Michelangelo Signorile may have just come to pass in terms of a celebrity coming out and stating that he dates trans women and why y'all tripping about it?

Kyle Dixon from the Bravo reality series Below Deck has not only come out to the crew on the show as bisexual, he also revealed that he was currently dating a trans woman

It's not a professional athlete or a major film or TV star (yet)  but it's a start that hopefully will lead to others following suit.  Breaking down the stigma and toxic masculinity surrounding dating trans women is a vital component to eventually stemming the unacceptably bloody tide of trans women of color being murdered by people who they were in dating relationships with or hooked up with sexually

If this leads to a broader conversation about trans attracted men and and the role they need to play in squashing transmisogyny, bring that conversation on.

You Mad Because You're Attracted To A Trans Woman?

One of the things I'm more than a little sick of is the meme floating around the Net denying the femininity and humanity of trans feminine women.  My sis Raquel Willis was sick of it too and tweeted that meme to counter a transphobic one that was floating around.

Just an FYI cis boys (and cis girls), trans women are women.  That's a far too simple concept for you to grasp.

As women, we not only come in all shapes, sizes and skin tones, some of us were blessed to have the right combinations of genetic material that also make us attractive to people who like attractive feminine bodies.  Some of u spent the extra cash to surgically enhance our bodies to get them where we wanted them in order to hake ourselves happy.

And if by doing so, we became more aesthetically pleasing to you, that's a bonus.

And if some of you transphobes are bothered by that last statement, too damned bad if you are.  Don't get mad if you saw a pic of a trans woman, you said to yourself "Damn she's fine!" and in response your junk starts stiffening as you ogle her picture.

Yeah, we know it happens.  Some of y'all are hitting those trans porn sites on the regular to see what my pre and non op sisters may or may not have in their panties, so don't even front.

Once again, a trans woman is a woman. If you are attracted to femininity, you are going to react to an attractive trans woman just as you would a cis woman, especially if you aren't prejudiced by knowing the trans woman's background before you scope out her pictures.

And not all of us are over 6 feet tall.  I repeat, just like cis women, we come in all shapes, sizes and body configurations, and I know more than a few trans women who are petite size 8 shoe wearing divas.

I ain't mad or jealous of my trans sisters who were blessed with that combination of traits that make them attractive to the male species.  Neither should you cis he-men be hating on that trans women either to the point that you wish to inflict unhinged levels of violence upon her..

So don't get mad if you're attracted to a trans woman.  If you actually take the time to get to know some of us, you'll find that many of us are smart, sexy, talented and make great friends.

And if you allow yourself to do so, you may even find yourself if you open your heart to doing so, taking her home to meet your family or eventually putting a ring on her finger.

Shoutout To Our 2016 Trans Wedding Couples

June is traditionally considered the month for weddings, and for people who make their money in photography, wedding planning, making wedding dresses and DJing, this is the beginning of the time that they make their money.

Trans folks get married, too.  Unfortunately over the last few decades we have had to fight tooth and nail in courts in Texas and around the world just to have the right to say 'I do' as witnessed in cases like Delgado v. Araguz, Ms. W in Hong Kong, and Joanne Cassar's in Malta.

One of the other things that I have been so happy to see besides the landmark marriage case wins is continuing to see trans folks hooking up with each other in long term relationships that end up with them saying 'I do' in front of their families and friends.

While we in Trans World are aware the anticipated wedding of the Trans Obamas, AKA Precious Davis and Myles Brady is going to happen soon, just last month we had another out trans couple get married in Logan and Laila Ireland.

Logan and Laila got married in Hawaii on May 17, and I couldn't be happier for both of them.  Still looking forward to the day i meet both of them.

As for Myles and Precious, we've already seen her make a little trans history of her own on Say Yes To The Dress as we and the rest of America got to watch her pick between several gowns.

As for which one she finally did choose, we and Myles won't know until their wedding day..

But I also want to take this TransGriot shoutout post time to salute not only our trans couples, but our couples in which a trans person is marrying or have been happily married for years to a cisgender person.  

But no matter what type of couple is walking down the aisle, I wish you well.   I envy you  because you have found your soulmates.  I'm exceedingly happy for you, and hope and pray those relationships stand the test of time as long, healthy and happy ones..

Archie Marries The Sistah

Knowing Archie's history of not committing to either Betty or Veronica, the one with Valerie probably won't last either.
-TransGriot, April 23, 2010  'Archie Dates A Sistah'

Still tripping about how I missed this Archie related news four years ago, but then again, it WAS a presidential election year and I like everyone else in Black America was worried about the reelection of President Obama.

One of the things my close friends and longtime readers know about me is that I am a huge Archie comics fan.  I have followed the exploits of Archie, his Riverdale High friends and pondered the Betty and Veronica love triangle since my preteens.

I was pleased to see as a longtime Archie comics fan besides the gender swap one that happened in issue 636 that puts a new gender swapped spin on the Archie, Betty and Veronica love triangle, the interracial relationship curveball they introduced into this longtime iconic comic that is now 75 years old.


;It started with the release of Issues 608-609 featuring the budding relationship of Archie and Josie and the Pussycats bassist Valerie Smith, and received rave reviews from Archie fans.

The storyline picks up from where it left off in issues 631-634 that were published by Archie Comics starting in June 2012.

In issue 631 Valerie returns to Riverdale for a Josie and the Pussycats concert with news for Archie that she and her family are moving there, which as you guessed is not received well by Betty and Veronica.

But Betty gets the bonus with the move to Riverdale of her latest romantic rival for Archie's affections an interracial relationship of her own.  Valerie's little brother Trevor quickly takes Betty's mind off of Archie's rekindled romance with his big sister, and Trev turns out to be a talented vocalist on top of it..

Valerie after moving to Riverdale with her family, takes a walk after settling into her Riverdale life down Memory Lane and starts imagining what her life would be like married to Archie.  

Valerie ends up seeing it five years into the future with her and Archie getting engaged and married. They leave their respective bands to make music together as the duo Him and Her, and Trevor Smith ends up as the new lead singer of Sugar Sugar, the renamed Archie's, and Veronica joins the Pussycats to fill the vacancy left by Valerie's departure.  

The happy couple ends up teaching at a music school, on a reality TV show, and eventually have a child together in their daughter Star.  She turns out to have inherited her parents musical talents and ends up being a serious attention getting child musical prodigy.

The four part 'Archie Marries Valerie' story arc concludes in Issue 634 with Valerie still wandering Memory Lane pondering their futures together.  She realizes that Archie has shown the ability to attract many of the girls in the Riverdale area prior to her arrival there, and ponders how that affects her by contemplating all the possible wedding scenarios  in the pages of that issue that involve Cheryl Blossom, her bandmate Josie McCoy, Sabrina Spellman, Betty and Veronica of course, Ginger Lopez, Midge Potts and even Big Ethel.

That TMI overload sends Valerie scurrying away from Memory Lane and leads to Valerie and Archie setting up a meeting to discuss their relationship. .

How that conversation between Valerie and Archie ended up, I'll have to get the graphic novel to tell you definitively what went down.

The series of comics covering the Archie and Valerie relationship story arc was published in the graphic novel entitled Archie- A Rock 'n' Roll Romance.
Looks like I'll have to see if I can find it either at my fave comic stores or try to find it online to see how the story ended.

Trans Attracted Men Revisited Panel

The trans attracted men panel that was rudely interrupted at Creating Change will be happening today on YouTube at 12 noon Eastern.

So if you wish to see the discussion on trans attracted men, moderated by Tona Brown and Bryanna Jenkins, and featuring Antwan Fields, Troy Kennedy and Jonathan Hayden, you can click on the link to hear that discussion