Skip The Salvation Army Kettles In 2018

This is another TransGriot remident for you when you see the Salvation Transphobic Army kettles out to ignore them for their continued anti-trans attitudes.

They have a long, ugly history of hating on the TBLGQ community, which is why I laughed my butt off during an episode of POSE in which Elektra Abundance and the House of Abundance jacked a Salvation Army kettle.   

While the Salvation Army is claiming on their website they have changed their tune and evolved, we still don't have clear evidence they have ended their historic antipathy toward the TBLGIQ + community.

It was also quite disturbing to see white supremacists ringing the Salvation Army kettle bells at an Indiana location.

While I don't recommend y'all do an Elektra Abundance stunt, you can decline to drop your change in those Salvation Army kettles popping up at stores near you.

Instead donate to trans and SGL led organizations doing proven work in our community during this holiday season and beyond or trans advocates directly via their PayPal or Cash Apps.

In case you're wondering, here's mine if you're feeling generous. 

The Holidays Can Be Hard On My Trans and GNC Family

The 2018 holiday season is about to commence.  People are heading to airports, train stations and hitting the interstate highways to celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's Day with family and friends. 

But as you prepare to make new holiday memories with family, friends and all the people who love you, bear in mind those happy pics you post on social media and the conversations you have about your wonderful holiday dinners can be painful to many of my trans and GNC siblings.

And that depression brought on by forced family separation, exacerbated by constant reminders of the season with the classic holiday Christmas TV shows and movies, Christmas music on the radio, and people out and about doing holiday shopping, can lead to suicide.

Many of my trans and GNC siblings are facing a fall and winter of separation or banishment from their blood families for being their true selves.   It's also true for the Mama and Papa Bears that face the same issue for choosing to support their trans and gender non conforming child over their familial ties with disapproving family members.

So for those of you not in that situation in our community, please do everything in your power to lift our trans and GNC family up during this holiday season.   Invite them to your home for a gathering.  Call them on a regular basis from now through New Year's Day.  Check on them via social media.  Go out with them and do something fun when you can. 

For my trans and gender non conforming fam in that situation this holiday season, do not spend one nanosecond brooding about these holidays and the family that rejected you.  It is not your fault they foolishly chose not to accept the amazing and fabulous person you are.

It's their loss they won't have you at them family gatherings that will be less wonderful without your presence.

While there are some days during this period that are going to be hard not to do so, I challenge you to focus on building holiday memories with the chosen family who do want you in their lives,  I can tell you from experience I light up when I get Christmas cards, baked goods and gifts from my chosen family

There are some cities that have holiday events at their local LGBT centers for the trans and GNC community, so consider attending them.   Hang out with your trans and GNC friends.  Do fun stuff with them, be it Christmas or non Christmas related.  Call other people who may be having a rougher time than you are and talk to them. 

We love you, want you and need your fabulous trans selves to be around for 2019 and beyond

Call trans help lines if you aren't able to talk to someone locally or online, And for you trans allies and accomplices, show your trans family some love this holiday season   Do what you can to make a trans person's life that you are acquainted with better during the holidays.

As I continue to point out, we are an international trans and GNC community.  We are your family,  We understand and feel your pain.   Many of us, myself included, either have been or are still going through it, and we are determined to help you get through this emotion laden rough patch of a season.

I know the holiday can be hard, trans and GNC family.   But there are people inside and outside our community who are standing by to make it better and less sucky for you.   All you have to do is reach out to them and let them help you make things better.

The Holidays Can Be Not So Happy For Trans People

One reason that we are on heightened suicide alert when we are interacting with our trans family is because from TDOR to Thanksgiving to New Year's Day, the holidays can be one long  microaggressive pain in the rear for us as the cartoon aptly illustrates.

Between people who are being deliberately obtuse or outright shady about our transitions by refusing to use the pronouns we've told them repeatedly to us  even after years of mounting evidence that 'this isn't a phase', the holidays can be a time that is not so happy for us.

Isn't one of the tenets of the holiday season supposed to be spreading love, peace, goodwill and joy amongst humankind in a world that is sorely in need of it? 

Last time I checked, yeah, it is.    So help a trans person out during this time by acknowledging the person standing in front of you and frankly, doing better than the rest of society    It's deeply appreciated by Trans World, the trans person in particular and their supportive families and friends when you take the time to be a caring person.

If you have room at your Christmas dinner table, or your holiday parties, extend an invite to that transperson who is struggling with the prospect of being alone and disconnected from their families during this time of relentless holiday advertisements and Christmas music singing about home and family .

Trans fam, if you're feeling down , call someone, be it a trusted friend or the hotlines that are standing by and ready to assist you.

And for my Trans family, if your blood family is tripping, their loss.  Spend time making holiday memories and establishing holiday traditions with your chosen one.

Happy Valentine's Day 2017

Today is Valentine's Day and as usual I'm spending it by myself.   While I am blessed with many talents, finding myself in a long term relationship is not one of them.

So I'm buying my own chocolate, some ice cream and Hershey's chocolate syrup to go with it, and I'm perusing my stack of DVD's to for my Black romance movie marathon I will indulge myself with later today.

The ironic thing is when I started my transition in 1994, I put myself on a two year dating moratorium so that I could get adjusted to being me, deal with morphing into the new body an the second puberty issues that come with it,  and get a few years into the social transition before I attempted to tackle dating while trans.

And I'm still looking for that quality person to get in a relationship with

After witnessing several couples get married last year or seeing peeps I know who are in happy and healthy  relationships short and long term, that does allow me to keep hope alive that it will happen for me someday.  

We'll see.   But for those of you who are booed up, I ain't mad at you on this day that is for lovers.

Happy Valentine's Day people.   And now, time to hit the Blue Bell.and flip on the DVD player.

Happy New Year 2017 And Happy Blogiversary TransGriot!

At this moment I'm ringing in the New Year at a party being hosted by Nikki Araguz Loyd, so I wanted to make sure I took a moment to wish you TransGriot readers around the world a very Happy New Year.  

It's actually the first time in several years that I've done something on New Year's Eve besides chill at home and wait for ABC's New Year's Rocking Eve to come on TV and watch the ball drop from Times Square.   Hasn't really been the same for me since Dick Clark died anyway, so needed to do something to get out of the New Year's Eve rut I've lapsed into, and thanks Nikki for providing the opportunity and the event to do so. ..

January 1 is also the blogiversary for TransGriot.   11 years ago today my first post went up on this electronic platform at 12 midnight EST.    It was based in Louisville at the time, and not only focused on my life in Da Ville, it was also focused on giving Black transpeople a voice in the blogosphere in addition to talking about and recording our history.

Today my award winning blog is now based in my hometown of Houston, and this is just one of over 10,000 posts I and my guest bloggers have written for you to peruse.

I'm also rapidly approaching the 6.5 million hit milestone that I'll achieve sometime during the first two weeks of 2017..   I'll also have something I didn't have when I started this blog thanks to Koncept Kit, a logo.

With an incoming administration that doesn't like the media or the truth, telling it like it T-I-S is even more important now and vital for the next four years.   It's also important to speak truth to power to the people in our TBLGQ community and the other communities I intersect with.

So celebrate the fact that we've survived the 366 day trip on this space rock, and then after the last song has been played and the fireworks have faded, it'll be time to wake up and get to work.

And it'll be time for me to start my second decade of telling it like it T-I-S is on this unapologetically Black blog that has evolved to be a media voice for an entire community.

Happy Hanukkah 2016

Today is the first night of Hanukkah, which will run until January 1.   I wanted to take the time to wish all my Jewish friends a very happy one.

It's been a while since Hanukkah and Christmas occurred at roughly the same time, and after the emotional rollercoaster year we've all had that is ending on a down note, nice that these two major religious holidays are happening now.

I'm also thinking about at this time my friends the Chen family, who welcomed a new child into their family December 13 and she will be experiencing her very first Festival of Lights under the watchful eye of her two big brothers.

So once again Happy Hanukkah!    May the lights of this season brighten all of your lives and extend into the coming year.

Happy Thanksgiving 2016

It's a bittersweet Thanksgiving for many of us in Trans World today.

While we've made some amazing progress this year, the adverse results of the 2016 presidential election will put much of that progress at rsk starting on January 20 with an incoming (yuck) Republican administration  

But today, not going to focus on that looming political drama, will have time to do that later.  I'm going to just focus on counting my blessings.

I am blessed to have good health, loyal friends, and my family blood and chosen in my life.  I have had the blessings in 2016 of traveling to every corner of the country except the Pacific Northwest and the southeast US.

I have been blessed with multiple awards and making history in getting one of them.  I have in 2016  stood inside the White House (for the fifth time), on the campus of Harvard University, outside of the site of San Francisco's Compton's Cafeteria, and on the historic Chautauqua Institution amphitheater stage with Janet Mock.

I got to attend Creating Change for the third consecutive year, the Black Trans Advocacy Conference at their new hotel, the Philly Trans Health Conference and Netroots Nation for the first time since 2012 and another Texas Transgender Nondiscrimination Summit as its keynote speaker.  I even got the opportunity on Election Night to talk politics on live television on a TV station I grew up watching in ABC13.

One of the blessings I received in 2016 is getting to meet and talk to our trans youth in Houston and around the country along with their amazing parents.

The blessing I want for our community here in the United States and around the world is to have our humanity and human rights recognized, respected and protected .

Don't know yet what 2017 has in store for me besides some trips to Austin staring in January, but hope I finally get to meet more of the transpeople on my bucket list like Lauren Foster and Caroline Cossey for starters, get to speak at a few more events on college campuses, keynote some conferences, and finally get to put my GLAAD media training and Pundit Cup Championship punditry skills to good use on behalf of this community on a regular basis.

And oh yeah, did I mention the amazing people in my life that I call my friends?

Happy Thanksgiving people!   May your holiday meal be tasty, the people you share it with be full of grace and good cheer, and you have safe travels to and from your holiday destinations.

And for those of you who will not be breaking bread with your families, may you do so with chosen family, friends and people who love you..

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving 2016!

Happy Thanksgiving to my Canadian readers and friends north of the border!   I know you're taking the time to step away from Timmy's and chow down on some turkey and other holiday favorites as you count your blessings in this year.

And one of those blessings is Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.   The Conservatives don't think so, but the rest of the planet thinks your current PM is a vast improvement over The Sweater Vest.

For my trans family in the Great White North, you are watching the progress of C-16 through your national legislature, and witnessed another province in British Columbia protect the human rights of its transgender citizens.

Happy Thanksgiving Day!   May the food you sit down to eat with friends and family be tasty, your travels to and from your holiday destinations be drama free and safe in both directions, and you continue to have a blessings filled rest of the year.

Happy Labor Day 2016

Happy Labor Day, TransGriot readers!

This long weekend off to celebrate the last days of summer and allow to to hit the sales, take that last trip of the summer season, chill out and watch an orgy of college football is brought to you by the labor movement.

It is the labor movement that created this day to celebrate the social and economic achievements of the movement here in the USA and Canada.

And yeah, our Canadian cousins spell it a different way.   It's Labour Day in the Great White North.

After several states passed legislation starting in 1887 to recognize the Labor Day holiday, and act was passed by Congress in 1894 to make the first Monday in September a holiday,

So hope you are enjoying your holiday.  I know I'm definitely enjoying mine after my fave college team shocked the world again and beat Oklahoma.  

But once it's over, it back to work until Thanksgiving.   That day comes next month in Canada, but not until November for us.    And I hope to as I'm carving some turkey giving thanks that the sane American voters come out 63 days from now and I hear the words 'President-elect Hillary Clinton,'

Happy Labor Day everyone!

Happy 149th Birthday, Canada!

It's Canada Day north of the 45th parallel, and the day when I give a shoutout to all my Canadian readers as they celebrate the July 1, 1867 day that the British North America Act established their nation by uniting three colonies (Nova Scotia, New Brunswick and the Province of Canada) into their home and native land.  

The Province of Canada was subsequently divided by what's now called the Dominion Act into Ontario (Upper Canada) and Quebec (Lower Canada), with the British parliament and cabinet keeping limited political control rights over the new Dominion of Canada they gradually shed until the last vestiges of them were shed in 1982.

149 years later Canada is now the second largest nation on the planet in land area, a respected and admired nation on the international stage and is comprised of ten provinces and three territories with an estimated 36 million people living there.

Canadians from the Atlantic provinces to the Pacific coast to Nunavut in the Arctic will be celebrating Canada Day with parades, fireworks and other events.  The biggest is in Ottawa, when thousands pack Parliament Hill and Centre Block for Canada Day ceremonies.

This Canada Day will see Prime Minister Justin Trudeau presiding over their nation and giving the traditional prime minister's speech like his father once did as their leader.



My trans Canadian cousins are celebrating this 2016 Canada Day with a hopeful spring in their step. They are hopeful that the tabling of C-16 (the Trans Rights Bill) will upon its passage result in their human rights finally being recognized by their nation.

And yeah, my Canadian cousins are frankly some cool people to hang around with in addition to being in their own right respected leaders on the international trans rights front. We're hoping south of the border the same thing happens for you as well.    

Happy birthday, Canada.. Going to be interesting to see how your 150th birthday party is going to turn out.

Memorial Day 2016

Memorial Day is the day we take time to remember the people who lost their lives either on battlefields around the world or after succumbing to wounds received on those battlefields while serving in our nation's armed forces.

The presidential proclamation has already been released for this year's Memorial Day observances, and the annual ceremony at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier will take place at Arlington National Cemetery in a few hours.

It's interesting to note as we go into Memorial Day 2016 the increasing calls for open trans military service. We have a long proud history of trans people who have stepped up to serve our country, and I don't doubt that we had some gender variant peeps who joined our military service to quote unquote 'make men and women out of them' many have possibly perished before they had a chance to be their true selves.

I'll take another day to argue the merits of trans military service later.  

Today we'll spend it remembering all our people who served in our military and paid the ultimate sacrifice for their country.

Happy Mother's Day 2016

Today is Mother's Day, the day on the calendar in which we celebrate the number one woman in our lives and all that she does, has done and is still doing to make us the best people we can be.   It's also a day in which we acknowledge all the people who take on the joys and challenges of motherhood.

And it's the day that we remember our mothers and mother figures who have joined the ancestors.

I also want to give a TransGriot shoutout to the special group of mothers that I know here in Houston and around the country who are raising trans children.

I've had the pleasure of meeting the amazing Jazz Jennings and her mom Jeanette, and one of the things they have in common with the other moms of trans kids I have met is they are fearless advocates not only for their kids, but for us trans elders as well.

I get a chance to interact with Gender Infinity, our local group of trans parents and the trans kids from time to time, and observe firsthand how happy these trans kids are.  I also get a chance to talk to their amazing parents as they break down to me the joys and challenges of raising a trans masculine or trans feminine child..

I know it's not easy at times raising a happy, well adjusted trans child in a world that is being stirred up by a too long list of TERF's, fundamentalist transphobes, the conservative movement, the Southern Baptist denomination, the Roman Catholic Church,  the Republican Party and other ignorati to irrationally hate on us.

I also need to send some love to all the amazing trans women who are either currently raising kids be they cis or trans or have successfully done so.

We trans elders love you, and are willing to do whatever it takes to be part of the support system you need to help raise your kids and be possibility models for them.   We also wish to work hand in hand with you to change society for the better so your kids when they reach our age will have a better world than we did to accomplish their dreams.  .

Happy Mother's Day!

May The 4th Be With You On Star Wars Day!

In addition to noting some of the famous peeps who share my birthday like the late Audrey Hepburn, sportscaster Erin Andrews and Kimora Lee Simmons, my May 4 birthday has also become synonymous with Star Wars Day.

I'm a huge Star Wars fan and have been since i got to watch the original movie debut in 1977.   Many of the Star Wars trilogy movies also have in common they were released in the month of May.

In fact, one of my activist nicknames is Darth Maul because of my love for the movies and my take no prisoners attitude towards our not so esteemed trans human rights opposition.  I also got the nickname because my activist mentor at the time was nicknamed Darth Vader.   The fact she likes to fence only cemented the nickname into our consciousness.

Personally I think it should have been Emperor Palpatine, but (cough, cough, hack wheeze...)

Oh yeah, where was I in this post?

The unofficial day to celebrate all things Star Wars became May 4 because the date easily could be used to create a pun filled version of the movie's catchphrase 'May The Force be with you."., and the first organized celebration of it took place in Toronto in 2011.

Social media and the purchase of the Star wars franchise by Disney helped drive this fandom based day into a quasi official day celebrating everything Star Wars related, and now my birthday  is associated in the mids of Star Wars fans with the movie.

Happy St. Patrick's Day 2016

Happy St. Patrick's Day TransGriot readers!

It's probably a happier than normal one for my trans cousins in Ireland thanks to the amazing trans human rights progress they have made there over the last few months.  Congratulations to the trans Irish folks who successfully stood up for their human rights, and may TENI keep that momentum going.

Hope the positive trends that have been happening for Irish trans people lead to positive action for the rest of the British Isles, Europe and eventually the rest of the world.

Here it's falling during Spring Break, and I'm spending today getting my last minute packing and other stuff done in preparation for my trip to this weekend's LGBT Media Journalist Convening in Baltimore.  I am looking forward to seeing everyone at #LGBTMedia16 and getting away from Houston for a few days

As for drinking any green beer, umm no, not for me.

Happy MLK Day 2016!

"No time for apathy and complacency.  This is a time for vigorous and positive action."
--Rev Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr

When I was younger, I loved Rich Little and used to be able to do dead on vocal impressions of people and celebrities.  One of the people I used to do was the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and one day I was attempting a humorous impression of him for my classmates during my 8th grade English class.  

My English teacher Ms. Maxie liked it so much I ended up doing the last part of the 1963 'I Have A Dream' speech it at a school assembly for a Black history month program to a standing ovation when I was done.

So my love of arguably the greatest American our people every produced started early, and the more I learn about Dr. King, the more fascinated I become with his all too brief life.

His writings and speeches not only are relevant in 21st century America, they inspired a downtrodden people to stand up and fight for their human rights.   His writings and speeches resonated across this nation and the world.  His words inspire me to fight for another class of downtrodden people in our country in transgender Americans.

On this national holiday dedicated to his memory, I take this day to do as he called it, hard solid thinking about the state of human rights in our country.

In a time when people are pushing back against trans human rights and suggesting that 'this is not the right time' to push laws and policies that mandate you treat transpeople as human beings, I take comfort from my history in the fact that the same loud and wrong commentary was said when it came to the African-American and other human rights struggles.

The rime is always right to agitate for human rights.  Just like during the 1950's and 1960's, 2016 is also not a time for apathy and complacency, but a time for vigorous and positive action about the pressing human rights issues of our time.  It is a time to get busy registering people to vote, getting people informed about the issues and ensure that people take their souls to the polls on November 8 in this critical to our nation's future presidential election.

And it is also a time to contemplate what I can do as an individual and collectively in expanding human rights coverage for everyone in a time when we have a conservative movement that is hellbent on rolling back everything that Dr King and countless other human rights warriors accomplished.

Happy King Day 2016, everyone!

Happy Thanksgiving 2015!

Happy Thanksgiving peeps!  Today is the day in which we get our grub on and give thanks for the blessings we have received this year.

It has been an up and down year for me in that department.  While I've been blessed to finally restart my HRT, it also came with finding out that I'd blown up to 275 pounds, my blood pressure was elevated and I was too close to crossing over into diabetic territory.  But it led to me dropping 35 pounds and changing my diet to make that happen.   I'm getting closer to my goal of being down to 210 pounds, and I'm much happier these days now that I'm back to consistently being on my hormones.

Now if only that positivity would cross over into my dating life.

TransGriot is not only approaching its 10th anniversary on January 1, I passed the 6 million hit milestone this year.  Still trying to figure out how I wish to celebrate that 10th anniversary

It also continues to get attention as an informative go to blog, and I thank you TransGriot readers for that.   Megathanks also to those of you who drop some change from time to time in the TransGriot Tip Jar.

I was also blessed to get to attend and participate in a few major conferences this year.  I got to attend Creating Change for the second straight year in Denver, another LGBT Media Journalists Convening that happened in Philly, an anti violence conference in Chicago that coincided with the reveal of this year's Trans 100, the Black Trans Advocacy Conference in Dallas, and OUT on the Hill in DC for the first time since 2012 along with invitations to speak or participate in panels here and elsewhere around the country.

It was an honor, pleasure and a blessing to go to Fantasia Fair for the first time ever and make a little history as the first African-American transperson to be given the Virginia Prince Transgender Pioneer Award.  

I also got to head to the White House again and see some of my trans family at different events and conferences.   I look forward to the next time I get to spend some quality time with y'all at another event inside or outside the Houston area in 2016.

Speaking of family, I realize the holiday season can be a serious downer for many members of the trans family who have been rejected by their blood family.  Their loss.   Do yourselves a favor and hang out today and during this 2015 holiday season with your chosen family and people who unconditionally love you.

And trans fam, be looking out for our trans peeps that may be feeling depressed.  If you can, spend some quality time with them.  You may be preventing a suicide by doing so.

Well, need to figure out where I'm going to get my grub on later.  Hope you TransGriot readers have a wonderful Thanksgiving Day.

8 Holiday Comebacks For Shady Transphobic Relatives

For those of my trans family members about to travel home for the holidays, while some of you are unconditionally accepted by your family and looking forward to the opportunity to break bread with them, some of you with more complicated relationships with your blood family are dreading the trip home to break bread with them because of transphobic relatives that may drop by.

You may have had at one time or another while happily getting your grub on at the holiday dinner table some transphobic comments get dropped either in ignorance or microaggressively aimed at you by less than accepting relatives.

Thanks to MTV News, Kat Blaque and  Franchesca Ramsey have come up with eight comeback lines for you to fire back at the transphobes related to you if you find yourself during the holidays getting shadily served by your relatives an unwanted side of transphobia with your holiday meal.

As a TransGriot public service, I'm signal boosting the MTV video so you'll have it in a nice convenient spot to quickly view on your phones, laptops or tablets on the way to dinner with your blood family.




Safe travels to and from your holiday destinations, and here's hoping that your holiday meal is free of transphobic drama.

Happy Labor Day 2015

It's Labor Day in the US and Canada, which happens to be the considered in the US the unofficial end of the summer season.

But the actual purpose of Labor Day is to celebrate workers and the labor movement.   The current 40 day work week, Saturdays and Sundays off (for some folks) , the minimum wage, overtime, OSHA workplace regulations, collective bargaining, sick leave, child labor laws, retirement security,  and other worker friendly policies that helped build the middle class.

But ever since Ronald Reagan came into office, unions have been demonized and attacked by the Republicans, with negative effects to the American middle class.

A strong labor movement translates into livable wages for you  along with a safer workplace and civil rights advancement.

So as you soak up the rays on the beach, chow down at that barbecue and return from wherever you traveled to on this long weekend. ponder the fact that many of the things we American workers take for granted were union made.

Happy Labor Day people!

Happy President's Day 2015!

Happy President's Day!  

Today honors all presidents of the United States, and as I've done since President Obama took office, I've used the day to show some love to the best president ever when it comes to trans issues.

Been more than a little sick of the racist Massive Resistance 2.0 by the GOP and the off the charts disrespect that has been aimed at this POTUS and his entire family.

Once again haters, President Obama is in office and living at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue until January 2017.

I am loving the fact President Obama is still handling his business to make this country better despite the racist animus aimed at him by the GOP and their Teapublican sheeple.

And the fact he shares my ethic heritage makes me stand a little taller and prouder when I see him and the First Lady representing our nation on their trips abroad or looking fab at state dinners.

So keep on hatin' conservahaters.   I'm loving the fact the first African-American president is surviving and successfully thriving in office to the point you have to keep ramping up the delusional hatred of him on your propaganda networks./

I'm also happy that he is setting the historical table for future presidents not cut from the same white male mold.

Happy President's Day indeed.

Happy Valentine's Day 2015!

Happy Valentine's Day to all you TransGriot readers who are booed up, in long term relationships, engaged or married.

On this day dedicated to love and all lovers, I was happy along with everyone else in Trans World to hear that our fave power couple in Myles Brady and Precious Davis have gotten engaged.

And I couldn't be happier for them.

Going to be fun to watch as they not only set their wedding date, but see them put together their wedding.

As for when that will happen for me?  Don't know.  It's one of the areas in my life that hasn't been as successful for me as I would like, and I haven't really focused on it.

If it's meant for me to be in a relationship, cool.  If it's not, I'll deal with it.  As I said in last year's VDay post,. as long as I have chocolate, Hershey's chocolate syrup and Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla ice cream, I'm good. 

Happy Valentine's Day y'all.