Why #teamambernicole Matters And The Silence Of White Women

Another insightful post from Renee, my fave mommy blogger and the editrix of Womanist Musings.    
Last week, I wrote about a 14 year old girl named Amber Cole, who became an internet sensation, after a video of her performing oral sex on a boy went viral.There can be no doubt that Cole's life will never be the same and we know that once something goes online, there is no way to stop it from circulating.  Every time someone views this video, Cole will be re-victimized. Thankfully, the boys involved in this incident have been arrested.

Amber only consented to performing oral sex to attempt to win back the affections of her ex-boyfriend, she most certainly did not consent to have the act filmed and released on the internet.  The boys used Cole. This tells me that Amber has a self esteem problem, and the last thing that you do when someone already has a negative self view, is to shame them into oblivion.

It would be one thing if Amber had consented within the framework of a reciprocal loving relationship, but that is not the case.  I don't really find her behaviour all that surprising, when society invests so much time teaching young Black girls that they are without value and not deserving of love.  When many heard about this incident or viewed the video, though it constituted child pornography, all they saw was a fast ass little girl and not a reflection of the way in which Black womanhood has been devalued.  Since the arrest of the boys involved, some have even gone as far as to claim that Amber should be charged with something herself, as though public shaming has not been more than enough punishment.  Amber even had to change her school, and that is only the first example of how this video will follow her through life.    

When I wrote about this last week, a commenter brought up the issue of lack of coverage of the incident in the feminist sphere. I know that as bloggers, we have limited resources and we have to make careful consideration over what we bring attention to, but the glaring silence about Amber Cole is painful.  Black women have spoken up in droves to claim #teamambercole, as a method of rejecting the slut shaming and the cyber bullying involved in this incident. The silence of our supposed White female activist allies speaks loudly.

Black women have spoken out repeatedly about the various ways in which our stories differ from that of White women and this often reduced to us just being angry.  When incidents like this happen and the response from White women is silence, it simply stands as further evidence that when they advocate for women's issues, what they really mean anything that effects them and not us.  If women truly mattered, the defense of Amber Cole, would not be left solely for Black women to undertake.

Amber Cole matters because all Black women have at some point been subject to such vile exploitation.
It may not manifest in the same fashion that it did with Cole, but it is an inevitability.  To be Black and female is to be constantly under attack.  Despite the fact that Black men must negotiate racism, when it comes to gender, there is no doubt that they exist with privilege.  Despite the fact that White women must negotiate sexism in our patriarchal world, their racial privilege means that they will never experience it the way that we do, and that in and of itself is privilege - a privilege born of White supremacy.  There is not one group that completely understands the plight of the Black female and this is borne out by their lack of confrontation or defense of us when we are in need. 

It doesn't matter whether the issue is Amber Cole or Michelle Obama, no one has a vested interest in truly being an ally to us, because that requires confronting privilege.  White women's organizing groups make a point of arguing against sexism, even in cases where the woman they are defending is absolutely vile.  There is never any shortage of defense for people like Sarah Palin, who is clearly anti-woman because attacking sexism aimed at her is considered necessary to fight patriarchy.  This same concept however, is not applicable to Black women, even when they are the victims of clear exploitation.

I am firmly #teamambercole because if Black women don't stand beside her and declare that cyber bullying is absolutely wrong, and that slut shaming a young girl for failing to make a wise decision is indefensible, then no one will. The only people we can reliably count on is each other. I have been told many times since I started Womanist Musings that my approach is divisive, and that I cause harm to the delicate fabric of female solidarity. If being angry at being neglected, when we are so clearly being attacked is considered divisive, then you don't really have a vested interest in women.  If you can ignore what happened to Amber Cole, and think it is okay to go about your day without defending a 14 year old girl who was used, but then defend someone like Palin, who has done nothing but harm women, then what are you doing isn't really about advocating on behalf women, but advocating on behalf of White female empowerment.

It seems to that White women want equality with White men, and far too many have decided that the best way to make that happen is to either stand directly on our shoulders, or to hand us over lock stock and barrel to patriarchy as a replacement. You're silence offers Black women up to be abused, exploited and actively oppressed in your staid.  We shall not suffer so that you can walk with freedom and we shall not be silent so that your voices and your lives constitute the entirety of the female experience. #teamambercole matters and until you can see why, we have very little to talk about.

Dear White Women, You Never Fail To Disappoint Me

Another post from the fabulous creative force behind the award winning Womanist Musings blog

I had the opportunity to speak to a friend of mine whom I love dearly this weekend.  She identifies as a feminist and is one of the few White feminist women that I trust wholeheartedly.  Inevitably, the conversation turned to Slutwalk and she told me that she was upset because their response to the sign hurt not only me, but several women of color that she has befriended over the years. Obviously, I don't hold her accountable for the actions of another, especially because she has proven over the years that she is more than willing to challenge her racial privilege and learn. In the process she has become a beacon to me when it comes to learning to challenge my own privilege.

When I learned about the 'Woman is the Nigger of the World' sign at Slutwalk NY, I was not surprised. Call me jaded, but centuries of ignoring the womanhood of women of color, actively enslaving us, and engaging in racist actions does not suddenly disappear when a woman becomes a feminist.  For some it might lead to heightened consciousness, but it is the rare few that will take the identity a step further to examine the ways in which one not only is oppressed but actively oppresses.  Feminism is not some magical elixir to enlightenment, despite the White men and women who seem to believe it is.

There was a time in my life when if a White woman told me that she was a feminist, I would automatically have given her the benefit of the doubt but today, trust is something that must be actively earned over time and not given freely.  I am no longer surprised when an event aimed at women's organizing suddenly has a racist bent.  I am no longer hurt when racism raises its ugly head because I have come to expect it.  I am however amused that White women fail to catch a clue when White feminist men interject themselves into the conversation to defend them.

As much as White women have been oppressed by White men, they have also gained from their association with them.  They may rail against patriarchy, but if a White man comes rushing to his damsel in distress to declare her actions to be decidedly not racist, they are more than happy to accept the aid with a feeling of relief. See, a White guy said so, so it must be truth.  If a White man were step forward to declare that an action is not sexist, their input would be soundly attacked, yet WOC are expected to simmer down when the White man speaks.  The fact that White men and women often collude when they have a common purpose has not failed to register with us, despite the whole ya ya sisterhood of the traveling suitpants routine.

If you don't belong to the group in question, you are not in the position to declare that an action or statement does not rise to offensive level, of course this doesn't seem to apply when it comes to White men rushing in to battle on the side of White women. This is further problematic because WOC are often chastised for bringing up issues that involve the men in our lives, as if their struggles don't directly impact our life's chances. It's not that issues which directly involve men are problematic in discussions regarding gender, it's that if they serve to challenge White supremacy in anyway suddenly they are not deemed relevant.

It comes down to the fact that many self labelled White feminists aren't really interested in equality for all, they are interested in equality with White men.  It's never about tearing down the system, but assuring that they have the power to oppress others.  If even on social equality exists then there can be no claim that women have achieved equality because the category of woman is broad.  It means that gay rights are a woman's issue, race is a woman's issue, class is a woman's issue, disability is a woman's issue etc,. There is no issue that is specifically outside of women's activism.  So when I hear White women saying things like, "think about it from a woman's perspective," when WOC are calling out racism, I know they are really pushing  for WOC to solely put our energy into improving their lives and not ours.The only way I will ever be surprised by White female activism, is when they learn that world isn't all about their pain alone.

Dear Slutwalk, Woman Is NOT Nigger Of The World

Renee at Womanist Musings tells it like it T-I-S is again.

Below you will find the image of a woman holding a sign at a New York Slutwalk that has led to a great deal of controversy online.  I am late to this issue but feel the need to discuss it, though it has been covered remarkably well by Latoya of Racialicious.

As I understand it, there has been quite a bit of controversy over this image on Facebook, as well as tumblr.  The organizers of slutwalk have released an apology that left a lot to be desired.

You may recognize that Woman is the Nigger of the World, as a reference to the John Lennon/Yoko Ono song.  It was problematic when they first performed it, and it is problematic today.  Though Ono is indeed a woman of color, she is not Black, and therefore has no basis from which to attempt to reclaim this word.  A White woman attempting to do so, is layered with a history of so much active oppression, that the racism in this sign amounts to a slap in face to all Black women who were in attendance, and have had the misfortune to come across the image online.

Unsurprisingly, it was a Black woman that asked her to take down her offensive sign. Note that she is surrounded by White women, and yet no one bothered to take offense to this.  When she was asked to remove her sign, she did immediately comply however, that does not in anyway mitigate the racism of her action.

Recently, I have attempted to have several conversations about slurs, because I believe the degree to which they are actively still in use is damaging to marginalized people.  Unless you belong to the group which the slur has historically been aimed at, you cannot reclaim the slur.  This means no matter her intent, woman as nigger is racist.  There can be justification or explanation of her behaviour that removes the offense and in fact, the purposeful nature of her actions adds a further layer of contempt.

Woman is not now, or ever will be nigger of the world.  Nigger is a slur that applies specifically to Black people.  This saying also implies that there is a similarity of experience between White women and Black women and nothing could be further from the truth. We have not forgotten that White women wielded the whip alongside their White husbands.  Many of the gains White women have made, are specifically because the heterosexual ones have been paired with straight White men or being related to White men has given them economic advantages that have not been offered to women of colour.  When White women weren't benefiting from their interactions with White men, they were using women of color as support staff to achieve their goals.  Woman can never be a monolithic identity.

Some have claimed that the woman in question did not have the benefit of learning about intersectionality and I call bullshit.  It does not take a sheep skin to know that the word nigger is unacceptable. This is beneath 101 level.  This is about the fact that equality for many White women is not about true sisterhood with women of color, but having the power to oppress in the same manner as their White male counterparts.  I think it is further important to note that there are plenty of resources from which to get a firm basis in intersectionality today.  If one is not able to attend university as I did, then there are blogs and libraries that are chock full of resources.  Ignorance today is a purposeful act.  It is privilege to decide that one does not need to educate oneself on the plight of historically marginalized people.

Finally, I would like to address the Slutwalk apology. 

We regret that the woman who was carrying this sign felt it was appropriate for our space. We regret that it took so long for someone to tell her how wrong it was; and that this woman was a Black woman, a woman of colour, as we know that anti-racism is not the sole work of people of colour. We sincerely apologize for the emotional trauma this sign has evoked in everyone who has been affected by it. We apologize for not making it clearer to everyone who attended on October 1^st that racist, or indeed any oppressive language or behaviour, is unacceptable. We apologize that this space was not safer for Black women, Black people, and their allies.

It is unfortunate that this young white woman’s voice has been amplified through media and all over the internet, and the voices of our intelligent, passionate speakers and MC’s, many of whom occupy marginalized identities, or are allies, continue to be ignored. In an effort to break this silence, listed at the end of this letter are the names of all our speakers, with links provided where available.

We find it saddening that three of our speakers who are trans women of colour, two of whom are Black women, are being erased from public dialogue around SWNYC. This speaks to a deeply rooted cissexism, which we are committed to interrogating. We thank all of our speakers for their passion, for challenging and empowering us.

 I like to call the tactic that they employed bait and switch.  Here look over here, that is the real problem.  There can be no doubt that cissexism needs to be specifically addressed in women centered spaces.  This is especially true when it comes to feminism, which has a history of attacking or actively erasing trans women.  It was not that long ago that feminists were re-writing history to deify Mary Daly upon her passing.  Radical feminists still attack trans women whenever they get a chance and blogs that are supposedly intersectional rarely write about trans issues or have trans writers.

The outcry was about race, and to say the fact that the volume of the response is cissexist, is meant to shame and silence those who are complaining.  As terrible as cissexism is, it does not trump racism.  No ism trumps any other ism; they are all equally terrible.  I also think it is worth noting that they mention that two of the trans women who spoke were Black women.  As Black women, the racism expressed by that sign was directed at them.  You cannot separate people's identities at will to prove a point. These women did not leave their Blackness behind when they decided to transition.  They are not Black and then trans, they are Black trans women. I absolutely abhor gottcha politics.  Furthermore, why were these women not given the opportunity to address the issue personally?  I think that a Black trans woman would have an insightful nuanced commentary to add to this situation that is sorely missing in the response.  To me, the response of the slutwalk organizers smacks of othering these women.  They were used as a tool to distract from the conversation at hand, and that in and of itself is minimizing.  There are plenty of Black trans women who are extremely politically active, who they could shared  their thoughts and experiences about the ways in which race, cissexism, and sexism intersect.

I have largely stayed out of the Slutwalk debates, though I have actively read the thoughts of many women of color regarding it.  The truth of the matter is that whenever there are cis, straight White women are at the forefront of any organizing endeavor, there are going to be problems, because they have been immersed in a culture that specifically centers them.  Sexism is terrible, but it is far from the only marginalization that women face and until intersectionality becomes more than a cool buzz word, failures like this will continue to happen.  I can never again conceive of taking on the label feminist, specifically because it others my various identities, and those of women whom I love and respect.

Waiting for a Black women to complain about the sign, though it was highly visible, speaks of a collusion with the poster.  Deciding to use Black trans women as a tool to distract from racist actions is both cissexist and racist.  Stop apologizing and clean your house.  Women of color have been listening to the apologies of White women for generations, and we are now immune to the White women's tears and empty promises.

Rush Attacks FLOTUS Again, Cue Cricket Chirping Slience From Feminist Blogosphere

Despite claiming that fighting sexism is a concern of feminists, attacks against Michelle Obama continually get ignored. It is left to women of colour to point out the link between sexism and racism that combine to oppress her.   Womanist Musings, May 9, 2011

One of the things I'm not surprised about but it really irritates the hell out of me is the way the vanillacentric feminist blogosphere can rush to the defense of any white female attacked in any way by the 'menz'.

But let those attacks be aimed at a woman of color or First Lady Michelle Obama, and this is their reaction:



Once again Oxycontin Man went on the attack against the First Lady making cracks about her weight.  Two Tons Of Not So Much Fun made the crack that 'President Obama’s limousine “weighs 8 tons without Michelle Obama in it.”




First of all, you drug addled bigoted dufus, you are the last person to be mocking people about their weight. 

Besides that, the FLOTUS isn't F-A-T, she's P-H-A-T, fine, beautiful, intelligent and got it going on.   You're just jealous because you're bitter, lonely and have had four women dump your azz while the POTUS has been happily married to the same fine brown framed sistah since 1993.

Now that I'm done verbally slapping around Cetaceas Oxycontinus, back to you feminist blogosphere.
   
I find it interesting that this is the same blogosphere that rose up en masse to defend Kirstie Alley, Michele Bachmann, Sarah Palin and a host of white females on both sides of the political spectrum but can't be bothered to type one sentence when it comes to the FLOTUS or any non-white woman under attack.

What, some of y'all still hatin' and fuming because Michelle's hubby beat Hillary for the Democratic presidential nomination back in 2008?     

And don't think it's just Moni that has noticed your glacial pace and benign neglect when it comes to defending the FLOTUS, much less any Black woman.   It's kinda sad when even white men are quicker to defend the First Lady than y'all are 

Well, won't be the first or last time that's happened (Satoshi Kanazama controvery ring a bell?) or the first or last time that Black women have had to be the ones to have our own or Michelle Obama's back.

And you wonder why Black women left feminism back in the late 80's early 90's.