Do You Want Trans Women In Your Ranks Or Not, Divine Nine Sororities?

I would hope that if a qualified #girllikeus decided she was down with the historic mission of Alpha Kappa Alpha, Delta Sigma Theta, Zeta Phi Beta, or Sigma Gamma Rho. loved that sorority's history, was qualified to be a member, and wanted to be a part of building their legacy for a new century of service she would be invited to do so and not disrespectfully turned away
-TransGriot,  December 5, 2012  

I've been talking about this subject for over a decade on this blog concerning the need for the Divine Nine sororities to emulate the evolutionary steps they took in admitting Latina, Asian, white, bi and lesbian women in their ranks and consider finally admitting trans women.

It's highly likely there are non disclosed trans members of Divine Nine sororities right now, but I would like to see out trans women have the ability and the option become available if they desire to do so to join. .

I would rather they do this unilaterally because as they realized in admitting Latina, Asian, white , Bi and lesbian women, it was the right thing to do.  Because if you as organizations claim to embrace all women, then by default all women includes transgender women as well

I'm bringing this subject up again because DL Hughley's wannabe Que Dog behind was stoking the hellfire flames of transphobic bigotry yesterday by posing the question should trans women be allowed to join Delta Sigma Theta or by extension, any of the Divine Nine sororities?

The resulting comment thread as you probably guessed was a festering pustule of transphobia.

That's a problem because these four iconic and historic Greek letter organizations, with nearly a million members worldwide and over a century of service and achievement on behalf of our Black community, comprise the largest organized group of professional college educated Black women in the world.

Divine Nine sorority members are prominent in the fields of business, government, legal, medical, media, sports, the arts and the armed forces, and it's troubling to me as the child and sibling of AKA's that elements of the Divine NIne are sounding like white TERF's when it comes to discussing transgender women.

That's a major problem for Black trans women and our Black cis feminine allies that we need to address right now.  .

So let's get this salient point established right now.  Trans women exist, trans women are women, some trans women are college educated, and are an undeniably intertwined part of the Black community.   Black trans women have been standing up for yours, theirs and everybody's human rights for decades in addition to being trailblazing members of the trans community

We are not only handling our business in being the best people that we can be, we are doing our part to uplift Black womanhood and be the intersectional allies and sisters that you can rely on.

And yes,.trans kids exist, and news flash for y'all, some of those trans kids matriculating in elementary, middle school and high school classrooms across this country are Black.

Some of those amazing trans kids in our ranks will eventually go on to attend college.  It is also possible that some of those kids, like I did, are growing up under the positive influence of members of a Divine Nine sorority, are down with the mission of that particular sorority, and as a result of their positive interactions with that Divine Nine sorority elder would love to join.

The question you'll  have to answer is will you turn that trans feminine child away like every other institution in society is doing to that trans feminine child right now?   Will you Divine Nine sororities and elements of your membership send the message to her (and her trans feminine non-Greek elders) that you're rejecting her femininity and her existence by not including her in your esteemed ranks?

What we need to hear from you right now or in the near future Divine Nine sororities is an unequivocal answer to that question.  

We need you Divine Nine to state one way or the other that either yes, we recognize trans women as the women you are and would love to have you join us if you qualify for membership or no, we don't want you even if you do qualify so we know where you stand.

The reality is you'll have to make that choice sooner or later because Black trans women aren't going away, and we're not going to stop asking this question.  
 

Still Evolving To Be That Quality Black Woman

When I say 'quality Black woman', I wanted to be the type of woman that even if you knew or discovered after meeting me I was a transwoman, you wouldn't care, you'd see me as an asset and not a liability on the balance sheet of femininity and you'd want me in your life as a friend. 

TransGriot, January 8, 2009   'Becoming A Quality Black Woman'

During that December 18 Christmas party I attended with my high school classmates, I had several of my cis feminine classmates pull me aside and tell me they were proud of me.   It made me tear up for a moment because one of the persons I talked to that night has known me since junior high school.

It's not just my classmates.  I've had messages during the Christmas holidays from cis and trans women wishing me Happy Holidays with heartfelt variations of the same theme..

It got me thinking about that 2009 post and the subsequent one in 2013 I wrote about the subject as New Year's Day draws closer and I take stock of my evolutionary growth in 2016.

Evolution is definitely the operative word here  April 4 will mark 23 years that I began to live my truth, and it has been an amazing journey at times with the occasional pothole here and there.

When I started my journey in 1994, there weren't many nationally or internationally know out Black trans women.   I knew part of what was required of me was to be a possibility model.  I knew that wherever I went, be it IAH's Terminal C, a conference or a college campus, the race and my chocolate segment of the trans community would enter with me.  

With the assortment of talents I have, I eventually became a leader in this community.  

But while recognizing I was going to become whether I wanted it or not a role model, I never lost sight of of that personal goal of being a quality Black woman.  I knew that it was mandatory that I must excel in whatever I chose to do because I had additional scrutiny on me.  

Neither did I forget the promise I made to myself, many of my cis feminine CAL co-workers, and other cis Black women I had conversations with in that period that this transition was not a game or joke to me.  

I don't think about myself that way, but it amuses me at times when I'm called a trans pioneer or trans elder.  But when you transition in 1994, and have been involved in  activism on behalf of a community since 1998, that happens.

I'm proud to note there are many different versions of beautiful Black trans women out there around the country and increasingly the world.   I'm proud to call many of them my friends.  I'm even more proud of the fact that my Black trans feminine elders tell me they are just as proud of me that I am of them who transitioned in much tougher circumstances than I did.

And I never forget the far too many Black trans women we have lost during my over two decades in this community.  They unfortunately will never have the opportunity to know what it's like to be my age because they were violently taken away from us.

Many of my Black trans sisters are as my fellow writer Denny Upkins would say are #BlackFolksBeingAwesome.  

We are New York Times best selling authors, athletes, entrepreneurs, college professors, award winning actors, teachers, students and award winning community leaders.

We strut fashion runways around the world.  We are your wives, lovers, sisters, aunts, and mothers raising kids   And yes, increasingly some of my future quality Black women are trans kids or trans teens like Trinity Neal  who are being raised by some amazing parents .

We are simply not only being the best people we can be, but also doing our part to uplift our community despite being reviled and hated on by ignorant sectors of the Black community..

I'm glad to have done, and will continue to do to the best of my ability my part to not only point out the fact that Black trans women exist, but we have a proud legacy of leadership and solid contributions to the communities we intersect and inhabit.

At the same time, I'm still continuing that evolutionary journey to be that quality Black woman who loves seeing the person staring back at her in the mirror when she wakes up in the morning.

It that inspires some of you, be you cis or trans women to do the same, then that's all good as well.

The Anti-Trans Hate Speech Is Affecting Our Cis Sisters

Since today is the International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia, this subject needs to be addressed, and what better day than the IDAHOT to do so?

Anti-trans hate thoughts + anti-trans hate speech = anti-trans violence/murders.  That is the Equation of Anti-Trans Oppression that the Republican Party, the conservative movement and right wing evangelical church folks are gleefully engaging in right now.

But some of the unintended consequences of that nonstop anti-trans hate speech are being felt by our cis sisters who are 5' 8" or taller, who have androgynous gender presentations or whose presentations don't mesh with what the Gender Gestapo thinks a woman should have.

Unfortunately, it is increasingly leading to cis women finding out firsthand what it's like to walk in our trans feminine pumps and disrespectfully have their femininity questioned.

But this isn't a new phenomenon. There were instances of cis women with non stereotypical gender presentations getting yanked out of female restrooms long before this current coordinated GOP anti-trans hate campaign began. .

But now with the increased media attention on trans issues, the ignorati are letting their misogynistic flag fly. Cisgender women who because of the genetic luck of the draw are the average height of a WNBA point guard, have short hair, don't look like supermodels, or are deemed 'not feminine enough' by the Gender Police for specious reasons are getting caught in World War T crossfire.

I'm increasingly hearing stories from my cis sisters about having anti-trans slurs ignorantly hurled at them. I'm  not liking hearing how people with non standard gender presentations are starting to get insults hurled at them in public restrooms.  

And i'm not happy that many of my cis sisters are starting to experience what we trans women have for years and are having their femininity disrespectfully questioned by the Gender Gestapo.

But this is something I expected would happen when the GOP ramped up the anti-trans hate, and this is also what happens when anti-trans hatred goes unchecked or people are silent about what is going on   because they don't think it affects them.

I have to ask this question for those of you who erroneously think you are the arbiters of all things feminine and who is and isn't worthy of it.  Who the hell deputized y'all as the Femininity Police?

I'll say it again.  Trans women are women. trans men are men.  What needs to happen right now is that cis and trans women need to collaboratively work together with the goal of eradicating the misogyny that affects both groups.  We also need our cis sisters to more frequently and forcefully call out the bathroom trans predator lie that is feeding the anti-trans hatred that is now negatively affecting them.

Cis women are the ones best positioned to shut down the anti-trans lies from conservative white men and calling them on it while we do the same from the trans feminine perspective..

But the sooner we get started doing so, the better because the gender policing BS needs to stop before someone gets hurt or killed..

More 2015 Birthday Musings

One promise I made to several of my CAL co-workers and a few women when I had those early conversations with in the wake of my transition at IAH was that I wanted to be seen as a complement to Black women and Black womanhood and not a detriment to it.

Don't know if they were aware of it, but I admired and was watching how they effortlessly role modeled the different types of women they were, and I was taking mental notes. 

I was painfully aware in that spring of 1994 there were very few out Black transfeminine role models, and it was going to fall on me to be that person in my influence circles.

I've been told a few times since then they and the other cis women I made that promise to are very proud of me, and y'all don't know how much that means to me.

I've also heard the same commentary inside the community from Black lesbian identified women, my trans sisters and Black cis feminine allies to our community

Since it is my 53rd birthday and the 21st I've celebrated since my body finally caught up to being the person I always knew I was, it's been an amazing journey that I still marvel at.
I have this life that I've bounced across this country to discuss trans issues from an African-American perspective, and one day after I get my passport, it is my fondest wish to be able to do that in various nations around the globe.

Is there room for improvement?   Yep, because I believe that a transition is an ongoing evolutionary journey that doesn't end until you pass away from this plane of existence.

I'm also continuing to strive to be come that quality Black woman I've talked about on this blog a few times.  Still doing the work to evolve,continue to live up to that promise and exceed it, but so proud and happy there are more amazing examples of Black trans women doing some amazing things and looking fab doing it.

There Will ALWAYS Be Somebody Prettier Than You...Deal With It

Sisterhood should not end when Oprah goes off. Truth be told, there will always be someone prettier, sexier, stronger, and smarter. I'm sorry Boo - that's just the way it is. But that's ok.....just do you!
Robin Bonner, September 23, 2013  Sisters, Let's Stop Hatin' On Each Other

I was talking to one of my trans homegirls recently and the subject turned to what Robin discussed in the September 23. 2013 guest post in terms of sisterhood.  While Robin's guest post was talking about it in general, me and my trans homegirl were talking about how it manifests itself in our transfeminine ranks.

The conversation was triggered by our observations about one of our sisters who has a self esteem problem.   She can't see her own beautiful self because she is so fixated on the other women in our circle that happen to be drop dead gorgeous.  She has used that as an excuse to decline from participating in the ongoing community building and crafting of sisterhood circles we are engaged in here in Houston.

I'm going to borrow and focus on a section of what Robin said in that quote I highlighted at the beginning of this post and say it once again.  

There will always be someone who is prettier, sexier, stronger, smarter, et cetera, and that's life.

Do I have some cis and trans women in our community I'm envious of and admire?   You damned skippy I do because I'm human.  But at the same time I'm aware that I have a combination of qualities they are just as envious of and admire about me that inhabit my statuesque body.  

I've also had 20 plus years to evolve and do me, and to borrow to words of my brother Kye Allums, I am enough.

That salient point about the diverse community of women encapsulated in Robin's quote is also reflected in Trans Feminine World.  

The reality is there are always going to be trans women who got the genetic luck of the draw.    There will be trans women who will be prettier, sexier, stronger, smarter, or have combinations of those various characteristics inhabiting their bodies.

There are going to be increasing numbers of trans women who because they transitioned in early childhood, their teens  or early in life are going to be indistinguishable from the average cis woman. 

And yeah, let's be real, trans women can be our own worst critics about how we look. 

There are those of us in Trans World that will also because of varying reasons that include fiscal ones, be able to avail themselves of surgical enhancements, hormones and GRS to correct or enhance whatever they perceive needs to be corrected on their bodies that results in their personal happiness and satisfaction.

And just like cis women, trans women come in all shapes, sizes, skin tones and body configurations.   There are going to be some of us who have the classic hourglass shape, perfect cheekbones and single digit shoe size.   Some of us will be petite while others of us will be supermodel height.  Others of us will be full figured and have a double digit shoe size or other various combinations of characteristics.  

In Black trans feminine ranks, we come in 24 different shades ranging from light bright and damned near white to deepest darkest ebony in terms of our skin tones.   All of them carry baggage beyond run of the mill trans issues, and all those skin tones are beautiful.

And as my homegirl Joanna Cifredo enlightened me to during a conversation we had in Chicago, trans Latinas also have to contend with the overall cultural beauty standards that cis Latinas have to deal with.

All that  matters is that we get to a point in in our ongoing feminine journeys in which as we get comfortable in our skins, we have personalities that are just as beautiful inside that match or exceed the outside shell.
What is also important as a trans feminine community is that as we evolve toward acceptance of the reality there will always be somebody prettier that we are, we deal with it by not projecting our insecurities, jealousies and issues onto our sisters be their cis or trans.

We need to be focused on the bigger prize of being about the business of building sisterhood in our ranks..

Since When Is Featuring Glamorous TWOC On A Magazine Cover A Trans Activism Problem?

Once again, we trans women of color have to point out the freaking obvious in terms of these salient points.  

*Our trans feminine transitions are not like our white counterparts.  
*Race matters, even in the trans community.
*Black trans women fight the same demonization of Black beauty that our cis counterparts have dealt with for four centuries.

Elle Boatman wrote an op-ed published in Advocate.com entitled Trans Glamour vs. Trans Activism that critiqued a Candy magazine cover that featured Janet Mock, Laverne Cox, Geena Rocero and Carmen Carrera that seemed to presume that trans glamour and trans activism are mutually exclusive.

Since when?  I found the timing of this argument interesting, especially when the women on that Candy cover are predominately trans women of color.

Who says that trans glamour and trans activism aren't complementary?   Why is glamour and activism an issue in this case when it wasn't for trans women with less melanin in their skin like the late Christine Jorgensen, April Ashley, Caroline Cossey and most recently Jenna Talackova?
And with trans kids transitioning at younger ages, there's a high probability some of those young trans feminine activists are going to grow up to be very attractive trans women when they hit adulthood.

I'm amazed and perplexed to see a magazine cover of glammed up trans women of color elicit such a response and I have to ask the question why.   Is that Candy cover of glamorous trans women of color perceived as that much of a threat to white trans women?  Do you not realize that broadening the conversation also helps our trans human rights struggle?  Are elements of the white trans feminine community still mad because the trans feminine narrative for the first time since 1953 is not all about white women?

L'lerret Jazelle Ailith wrote a response to the Advocate.com op-ed on her blog  in which she said:

"It’s odd that a white woman is critiquing the ways in which trans women of color perform gender and how they “conform to the norms” seeing that norms and everything having to do with beauty and gender and acceptability are meant to keep non white folks out. Elle says that these women ‘blend in’ and are ‘conventionally beautiful’ when that just isn’t the case. Being black in the first place automatically knocks one out of this country’s historical colonialists and white imperialist convention."

Ailith continues to say in her brilliant response to the op-ed  post:  "Activism cannot be quantified and I think operating under the idea that it can can have people feeling super uncomfortable. As a white woman, you may not understand this but the simple act of getting up and being in the public eye and proclaiming your transness unapologetically is an act of revolution for every trans person of color and in that right, they are doing the work.

How dare you demean the existence of women who didn’t have to speak on their identity but chose to do so in order to work towards a more inclusive and visible society where young black and brown persons felt value and could imagine dreaming up more than trying to blend in and get “normal jobs” and be respectable; A society where they could finally feel beautiful and in charge of their own destinies. How dare you label the work of fellowshipping to the younger folks looking up to these possibility models as insignificant."

So yes, I'm pleased and proud to see a generation of young trans feminine activists of color who not only have no problem looking fly, but handling their activist business either like Precious Davis, Katrina Goodlett, Angelica Ross, Channyn Parker, L'lerret Ailith and Arianna Lint just to name a few.

That is vitally important as we trans activists of color seek to work with, advance the trans human rights cause  and 'ejumacate' communities that are even more rigidly invested in the gender binary. 

One of the negative memes that has historically been deployed against trans women by our oppressors is the 'linebacker in a dress' one. It is one that is doubly problematic when it is aimed at African-American trans women, because we also have to deal with society's four century old 'unwoman' attacks on Black womanhood

You also have the reverse situation of any Black woman who doesn't fit societal expectations of what feminine beauty is having 'that's a man' shade hurled at her or worse.

If you think I'm kidding about that, when the tennis season cranks up in a few weeks and Serena Williams starts beating the European tennis glamazons again, check out what is said about her in the comment sections.
It is a problem when our white trans feminine counterparts don't understand or are clueless about  those salient points I highlighted earlier in the opening paragraph, but fail to understand until recently the trans societal beauty standard and discussion around trans femininity was very much being all about them until we point it out.   

And don't get huffy or mad because we trans women of color did so.

Being A Transwoman IS Being A Woman

TransGriot Note: Guest post by Rebecca Desvignes Aeon.   

Being a transwoman is being a woman from the soul, spirit, mind and heart born in the wrong body.

Being a transwoman is not a choice you make, it's who you were born as from your first breath into this world.  Some recognize it early, some late, but you can't run from your truth.

Being a transwoman is not about dressing up as female one day and next day as a regular man, that's a crossdresser. A true from the soul transwoman is a woman that lives 24/7 as a woman.

Being a transwoman is wanting to live a simple life as any other woman.  She desires a Boyfriend / husband, a career, a home, a family, and a stable financial situation. We are not a shemale looking for sex 24/7. 

A shemale is not a transsexual woman, a.shemale is a porn performer surgically altered to look like a woman, for the sole purpose of making porn movies for money.  The words shemale, ladyboy, transvestite, he-she, crossdresser, et cetera is in no association whatsoever with a transsexual woman.  A transwoman is a woman period regardless of her private parts. 

A true woman is defined by her spiritual femininity, her ladylike characteristics, and feminine thoughts, not her private parts.

A true trans attracted man would never approach a transwoman verbally when attracted to her and label her as a shemale, ladyboy, dude, man, crossdresser, transvestite or he-she.  To do so means he does not view you as a woman.  A true trans attracted man would view you as a woman, potential girlfriend or wife and will proudly walk the streets in public hand in hand with you.

If a man is only willing to be with you if you had a vagina, or will if you have the SRS surgery, forget about him.  He does not recognize or appreciate your femininity, your mind and heart, and still subconsciously looks at you as a man.

If a man is only interested in you only if you are pre-operative and has an obsession with penises on a female figure and not your mind, heart and soul, get rid of him because you deserve better.

A true trans attracted man will see you as all woman regardless of being pre-operative or post-operative, will treat you as a woman, will see you as a potential girlfriend or wife, will proudly go everywhere with you and live with you openly regardless of their family or friends opinions.

A Mother-Trans Daughter Femininity Dinner Discussion

Some of the Facebook trans groups I'm a member of have very interesting discussion threads at times that eventually trigger hard solid thinking by me to turn it into a post.

This was the case two weeks ago when Lotus, a member of a predominately African-American trans Facebook group I'm on that prides itself on thoughtful discussions of trans issues talked about the night she recently had  dinner with her mother. 

Their dinner discussion turned into a mother-daughter chat that discussed femininity and the perception difference between cis and trans women.

***

Lotus:  Over dinner, my mother and I began an open discussion about the perception of natal females as it pertains to Transgender women. I wanted to bring some of the points that came up during the conversation to the group and see how you all felt about them.

My mother's main point in the conversation was that there is no one SET STANDARD that defines what it means to be a woman. Women come in all shapes, sizes, class levels, and intellectual capabilities; nonetheless they are a woman. With this in mind she inquired as to why someone would assume that all girls like us should strive to be more than the average neighborhood hood rat. As transwomen why is it not okay for us to be the kind of woman we feel most comfortable being (even if that's a "Ratchet Ass Hoe").

I explained to her that as transwomen we should aspire to be a compliment to womanhood not a detriment. Her counter argument was that women are detrimental to themselves so why should a woman in transition feel burdened by the pressure of complimenting womanhood?

We are individuals embarking on a unique journey into what many would perceive as the unknown. We all must make decisions as to who we would like to be, much like any other woman.

All things considered I believe that all points are valid when viewed from that person's perspective. I still stand steadfast by my belief that as a young woman in transition I want to make natal females proud to accept me as the woman that I am, but her perspective opened up another gateway for dialog about the representation of transgender women in society; how we chose to present ourselves.

***

That dinner conversation most certainly did open up a dialog in that group we gleefully began to discuss.  Our trans elder Cheryl Courtney-Evans pointed out in the discussion thread that developed in the wake of Lotus' initial post:: 

I think that perhaps this concept may be simply explained by a sentence/attitude that accompanied the advance of the African American community in it's reach for parity with Whites..."You're a credit to your race." For many years that's what Blacks strove to be, in order to garner 'acceptance'.

Angel V. also pointed out:

When I started my transition, the last thing that was on my mind was acceptance from cis-women. As a matter of fact, the only acceptance that I will ever need is my own. You were not put on this planet to cater to everyone's wants and needs. None of us were. There are plenty of cis-women who will accept us and many who will not. Their opinions will not dictate or change who I am in any capacity.

That said, I like your mom, Lotus. She made some interesting points!! Some ladies will never strive to be better. Trans or otherwise.

What I would have said in response to Lotus' mom is I believe one of the reasons we Black trans women are so adamant about being considered compliments to Black womanhood is because after being stuck on the Black masculinity side where we were considered suspects and targets regardless of the content of our character, some of us don't want to fight that psychic battle again.

But what you come to realize is that Black women also have their own psychic battle they fight in which their femininity is demonized every day by whiteness and white supremacy.  They are depicted as the 'unwoman', 'ugly' and juxtaposed as the polar opposite to white women, who are held up as the penultimate form of feminine beauty and template of womanhood that women of non-white ethnic groups should aspire to be.

As Angel pointed out, some cis Black women don't care, do what they please, don't give a second thought about the historic and current images of Black women and never will. 

So why should we Black trans women care?   Because Black transwomen don't have the luxury to be that cavalier about the feminine images they project to the world.  We're already demonized, have few positive trans feminine role models to counteract the negative images already on the minds of people and fear that whatever negativity happens in our trans ranks will be unfairly projected back at cis African-American women.

But then again, trans women are damned if we do and damned if we don't live up to the standards of Black womanhood.   Even when we try to live our lives as complements to Black womanhood, we're demonized and hated on by many of those same cis Black women we desire sisterhood with and fell like that standarsd is a shifting goalpost. .
   
Cheryl basically dropped some more knowledge on us in this discussion with this sentence. 

Well, I'm sure you've heard the phrase, "Do you"...that's what you do; we must each do as we aspire...whatever that is.

She's right.  And I concur with her that's the point where we Black trans women need to be comfortable in our own minds of getting to.

As Lotus said in that thread, she wasn't aspiring to be hypersexualized by society, but some of her girls like us friends see that as their desired feminine presentation standard and set out to achieve it. 

In my case the elegant Diahann Carroll was one of my feminine role models along with my mother, sis and other cis and trans feminine role modes whose qualities I admired and wanted to role model in my feminine evolutionary path.  

Whatever type of woman we trans women are trying to project to the world, that's ultimately our decision.  Once we start down that path, we have to deal with whatever the consequences are of emulating the type of woman we wish to project to the world as we go through our lives.

But we transwomen also have to become comfortable with just simply being able to 'do you' and being allowed the space to 'do us' just like our cis feminine counterparts. 



TransGriot Note: Last graphic in the post created by Randi of TransMusePlanet.

MTV's 'Girl Code'

Was channel surfing one night and stumbled across an MTV show that caught my attention entitled Girl Code.

It's a spinoff show to MTV2's Guy Code and started broadcasting its 15 episode run April 23.  It features a multicultural cast of female actresses, musicians, stand-up comics and a few men discussing the sisterhood that women share

It's been interesting to hear the discussion on a wide range of topics such as breast envy, crushes, relationships, feeling unattractive, jealousy toward a male friends girlfriend, playing sports and menstruation just to name a few of the subject they've tackled.

It's on frequent rotation, but I'm going back to watch some of the episodes I missed

Chrysalis: Lingerie For Girls Like Us

This news broke while I was offline, but I was excited to hear about a first ever line of linerie designed by a girl like us entrepreneur for girls like us.

The perfectly named Chrysalis Lingerie is the first ever lingerie line that is designed for transwomen.   Co-founder Cy Lauz remembered when she had a hard time during her transition finding lingerie and undergarments that suited her particular needs and made her feel pretty, confident and feminine.

“There was nothing that made me feel good about being a trans woman and who I was as a professional and most importantly, who I was as a person,” Lauz says.

Lauz put her fashion styling and interior design talents to work and founded Chrysalis, which is getting major positive buzz inside and outside the trans community. 

It's starting with a basic line of bra and panty ensembles in five colors.   The power-mesh panty is designed to create a seamless look by using a special panel that “tucks us in,” Cy said, while the bra comes with hidden pockets that hold full-cup inserts to create the appearance of a natural bustline.  

The initial product line is versatile enough to work with all body shapes while still the look and feel of traditional feminine lingerie lines. 

Chrysalis Lingerie for now will only be available online and in progressive lingerie outlets that welcome the business of trans women. 

Beyond the basic product line there are long range plans to not only open a brick and mortar store in the New York area but create a Chrysalis Lingerie couture line that incorporates the Chrysalis technical innovations into a line of teddies, shapewear, lingerie and swimwear.





Chrysalis Lingerie has been around since 2010 and is grateful for the fresh round of media exposure and attention.  

Chrysalis Lingerie does have a company Facebook page that you can like and check out for all sorts of fashion and TBLG related posts as we anxiously await the May 1 launch of the e-commerce site.

Hmm, that's just in time for my birthday.   

TransGriot Update: link for the Chrysalis Lingerie website.

Thank You To My Sistah Girls

Yesterday I was in a blah mood until the phone rang and it was Renee on the other end of it.  We spent a glorious hour having one of those conversations that surprise surprise doesn't involve us talking about writing, our blogs, the state of the African diaspora, Black women's place in it or some of the other topics we've expounded on over the last five years.

Yesterday, it was simply girl talk. 

Yes, the Phenomenal Transwoman needs to be just one of the Sistah Girls at times.   I deal with a lot of crap inside and outside of the trans community activist wise, and every now and then it just feels good to talk about 'gettin' our girl on' as me and Renee call it.

It's nice for me to know that for that time I'm on the phone with Renee or any of my cis or trans girlfriends, I'm one of the tribe and I'm blessed to have these quality women around me.

Even better, I'm blessed to have quality women around me in my ongoing feminine journey that I can call my friends, ask questions, and get the answers I need that help me in understanding my evolution to Black womanhood and the role I play in it.

In my sistah circle, I'm not getting misgendered by some vanillacentric rad fem or hater.  I'm seen, respected and loved as simply another Black woman and it does wonders toward helping me stay focused on what I need to do to achieve my goal of being a quality Black woman.

It's hard enough to be a Black woman even when you're born with a body that matches your gender identity and presentation from birth.  It's much harder when you feel as though you're playing catch up to that status.  

So thank you to my sistah girls for doing their part to make me and other Black transwomen feel as though we are part of the circle and we belong. 

Thanks to all my sistahgrils cis ans trans. You make my life better just for being you, allowing me the blessing of being part of your lives and sharing some of the life lessons you have learned with me to help make me a better human being.

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Disrespect Of Black Womanhood Is Why I'm Not A Feminist

Chelsea Sayre, my fellow columnist at Transadvocate and editrix of the Trans Femmergy blog wrote an interesting post entitled It's Bigger Than Your Womanhood.

It was in her words 'a rant directed at the trans women who want absolutely nothing to do with feminism (no one in particular) because a mean, scary woman somewhere called you a name or the wrong gender.'

Well Chelsea, I'm one of those transwomen who wants nothing to do with feminism and the disrespect it aims at us.  

I'm about to tell it like it T-I-S is as to why I feel that way and expound on my reasons for saying thanks but no thanks to feminism.   They are bigger than the loud and wrong group of transphobic radical lesbian separatists still stuck in the disco era.  

If you were wearing my Afrocentric shoes, explain why should I have any respect for or rush to join a movement that has repeatedly shown it has no respect for me, my cis African descended sisters and doesn't care about any woman that isn't a cis white one?  

Too many feminists fail to recognize they exist with white privilege they gleefully exercise when it suits them while ignoring how race and class issues affect non-white cis and trans women. 

It's why like many Black women who have had the same epiphany about feminism I pivoted to and eventually became a womanist

If we're 'all women' as I hear repeatedly said as a talking point  in some quarters of the feminist movement and the feminist blogosphere, why the cricket chirping silence in terms of the sexist and racist attacks on the First Lady that have been ongoing since 2008, but feminists leap to the defense of Sarah Palin or Michele Bachmann if any man even looks at them cross eyed or says a disparaging word about them?

If 'we're all women', why does a white transwoman who is beaten at a Roseland, MD McDonald's get a rally while a little over 100 miles away a Black transwoman who gets beaten outside a Fredericksburg, VA 7-Eleven doesn't?

Don't even get me started on the feminist cricket chirping silence over the nastiness, transphobia and oppression that white radical lesbian separatists and radfems have engaged in and aimed at transwomen of all ethnic backgrounds since 1979.

Respect of my humanity and femininity is a big fracking deal when I live and interact with a vanillacentric society and culture that paints women of color and especially Black women as the 'unwoman' vis a vis the white women they put on society's pedestal as its idyllic feminine ideal all women should strive to emulate.

As a transwoman of African descent disrespect aimed at my femininity and humanity is an even bigger fracking deal because it builds upon a historical four century foundation of racism, oppression and sexism.  

The unwoman meme also fuels the transphobia and anti-trans violence that disproportionately affects transwomen of color.


If it escaped your attention, working for the advancement of the human rights of transwomen is also working for women's issues because it not only improves the lives of transwomen, it expands the human rights of all women. 

Sadly cis white feminists have been major players in impeding the progress of trans human rights over the last thirty years because they lack the vision to see that granting rights to transwomen expands them for cis women.

Feminism in whatever wave it is in has consistently demonstrated it only respects, cares about and works for the advancement of only one monoracial segment of cis women. That's why Black women pulled out of the feminist movement in the late 80's-early 90's and became womanists or joined with Latinas, Asians, Native American and other women to become Radical Women of Color.

Any transwoman of color who wants to do more to be down for the big picture cause of advancing the human rights of all women cis and trans should consider becoming womanists, radical women of color or joining cis women of color organizations dedicated to doing that uplift work.

Don't waste your precious time, energy and sanity considering feminism until it cleans up its bigoted and transphobic vanillacentric act.  

Why should I as a African descended transwoman or any transwoman of color work in or for a movement that doesn't benefit us or consider the issues of cis and trans women of color important?   Nor can I in good conscience as a leader in the African-American transfeminine community recommend that transwomen of color become feminists until it does.

Thanks, but no thanks.   Disrespect of mine and cis Black womanhood is why I'm not a feminist in the first place.