'Necessary Roughness' Season 2 Finale Tonight

I'm a big fan of the USA Network cable show Necessary Roughness, which follows the exploits of Dr. Danielle Santino who is hired by the fictional New York Hawks team to handle their mental health issues and eventually becomes a renowned sports psychologist.

Callie Thorne's Dr Dani character is based on the real-life story of Dr. Donna Dannerfelser, who was hired by the New York Jets as their mental health specialist.

In last week's episode setting up tonight's season finale Callie Thorne did an anti-bullying PSA for GLSEN that was put together with the help of GLSEN's Andy Marra.  .

In tonight's finale, the Hawks players who is about to come out of the closet is the team's starting quarterback.  It's going to be interesting to see how this affects the team chemistry, especially since the Hawks are chugging along with a 7-2 record and there were already some phobic remarks being tossed around in the Hawks locker room..

It's also ironic that the same quarterback who was less than supportive of star wide receiver Terrence 'TK 'King when he was going through his struggles, is now in the position of having to ask TK to have his back as he tries to come out of the closet.




While that hasn't happened yet, the odds are that we have already had or have playing right now NFL players who are in the closet.  It  is only a matter of time before this fictional coming out becomes a reality. 
 
We'll see what happens on Necessary Roughness at 9 PM CST  when this show airs how it plays out.

Monica Beverly Hillz Comes Out As Trans

I thought I had it tough when I came out as trans nearly 19 years ago and transitioned in the middle of an international airline terminal.   But to do so in front of a national television audience is infinitely tougher.

My homegirl Isis King can talk about the experience of competing on a reality show while trans along with Laverne Cox and Jaila Simms.

That small sorority is about to get a new member in Monica Beverly Hillz..

The RuPaul's Drag Race contestant came out as a trans woman during the February 4 episode of the show I refuse to support.

While there have been two other contestants in the history of that show, Sonique and Carmen Carrera who have come out as trans, they did so after they completed their competitive runs  Monica is the first to do it while competing.on the show..

It also adds an exclamation point to something I've been saying on this blog for years and the pseudo cisprivilege chasing TS seps claim is a lie or impossible.  There is movement in the trans umbrella amongst the gender variant categories.  I also pointed out in a post that some peeps use the drag and pageant world as a way to facilitate their transitions.

And it looks like this is exactly what it happening in Monica's case.

Hmm.  I may have to reconsider watching this show to support my trans sister.

Coming Out Is Different For A Trans Person

With today being  National Coming Out Day, you'll see ceremonies and events all over the country that will be primarily focused on the LGB end of the community rainbow.  For the trans end of the spectrum, coming out has a different twist to it. 

When people come out as lesbian, bi or gay, they are still the son or daughter that their parents brought home from the hospital that day.   But when you come out as trans, it means that's akin to a death in the family.

The child they once knew will eventually be morphing into an outward gender presentation different from the one they brought home from the hospital.  Those parents will have to get used to that morphed body over time just as it took the trans person involved a certain amount of years to come to grips with the reality they are trans.

From the moment of that declaration that we are trans, we are going from zero to femininity or masculinity and begin the process of having to navigate all the societal baggage that particular desired gender role comes with while unlearning it from the birth gender role. 

We trans people are the only part of the rainbow community that have to pay for the privilege of being ourselves. In addition to having to go through medical and surgical intervention, there's also wading through the paper trail we have piled up and changing those identity documents to reflect who we are now.

I don't want to underestimate how liberating it is for a trans person to come out to family, friends and allies.  It does wonders to lift the burden of carrying that tremendous secret off our psyches so we can begin to openly and honestly live our lives. 

But a dose of reality as you make this life changing decision, especially if you're planning to do so under the euphoric environment of National Coming Out Day.    

If you're a trans person of color, it's even tougher to come out and I understand that reticence to do so.  When we average two transwomen of color killed every month, 70% of the names we read during every  Transgender Day of Remembrance are Black and Latina, and we have the unwoman meme and disrespect hurled at us on a regular basis, it's enough to make you pause. 

Unlike our white counterparts, we transpeople of color don't have the long established support groups or organizations that are fluent in our culture, backgrounds and needs.

We've only started getting the attention we deserved in the tail end of the last decade.  The Trans Persons of Color Coalition was founded in 2010, and we still have to fight tooth and nail just to get any kind of positive visibility or media attention for our role models and our issues.

Coming out for trans people of all ethnicities is tempered with the knowledge that we still have a long way to go to achieve trans human rights in this country   We still have a lot of education we have to do even with recalcitrant hardheads in our rainbow family and within trans circles about what being trans is.

But as I've discovered ever since I began my own transition in 1993, my life not only began when I did so and got comfortable in my own skin, my family expanded.  We have a proud history that is still unfolding every day.  I have out and proud trans brothers and sisters all over the world now.  I have trans elders who are eager to pass down their hard won knowledge to me so I can do the same for you.   I love the fascinating journey of discovery I've been on.

And I'm proud to be an African descended #girllikeus.    That outweighs whatever negatives connected with our coming out decision.

But to get to the point where I, Janet Mock, Isis King, Kylar Broadus and countless other trans brothers and transsisters are, the first step is coming out and living your life openly and honestly.   You need to not only do so for yourself when you feel comfortable and confident in yourself to do so, frankly the trans community needs you to do so as well.

The rest of being trans we can deal with one day at a time..

Happy National Coming Out Day 2012!

Today  is National Coming Out  Day, in which the rainbow community in the US and in several nations around the world celebrate being trans, bi, gay, lesbian or wherever you fit in the community rainbow. 

It was founded in 1988 by Robert Eichberg, a psychologist from New Mexico, and Jean O’Leary, an openly gay political leader from Los Angeles, on behalf of the personal growth workshop, “The Experience and National Gay Rights Advocates.”

There are events held across the country and the world that seek to raise awareness of the community, our human rights struggles, and assist those people who are trying to come to come to grips with the epiphanies they have had.

It happened for me decades ago, but I still remember how overwhelming and scary a time it was.  It's almost 20 years later and the only regret I have about coming out and transitioning is I didn't do it sooner.

For those of you who choose today to do so, I congratulate you.  You're taking the first small step for you but a giant leap in living a happy, more honest life for yourselves.

Say Hello To Lana

An ongoing story I've been tracking in these electronic pages is the rumored metamorphosis of The Matrix trilogy director Lana Wachowski.   

Since 2003 there have been 'did she or did she not transition' rumors flying from the Left Coast that were exacerbated by the 2010 Rolling Stone article about her that was printed without comment from the Wachowski siblings.

You would see the occasional sightings of Lana at various Hollywood events and LAX posted online or in various gossip blogs, but cricket chirping silence from either of the Wachowski siblings confirming or denying them.  Even the folks that were cast in their movies such as The Matrix trilogy, Speed Racer or worked with them on projects such as V For Vendetta in which they were writing credited as The Wachowski's were tight lipped about it.  

Despite the increasing anecdotal and photographic evidence that said transition had already occurred, my personal thoughts on that is until a person acknowledges they are trans via press conference or interview, I consider them as a cis person until told otherwise..

The Wachowski siblings are set to premiere October 26 a new movie called Cloud Atlas that stars Halle Berry and Tom Hanks and have just released a trailer for it.  But what has gotten peoples attention is this will be the first movie that you will see Lana Wachowski's name in the movie credits instead of the old one.



Yep people, here's the strongest evidence yet short of a press conference (which I wish she'd do) that Lana Wachowski is a #GirlLikeUs.  As to whether she'll do a coming out interview about it, that remains to be seen.  

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Project Runway Season 8 Finalist Is A Girl Like Us!

2012 has been an interesting and groundbreaking year so far when it comes to the trans community and we're only halfway through it.   In addition to progress on the trans human rights front in several nations, we've had a celebrity trans coming out in rocker Laura Jane Grace. 

We can add another celebrity transition in the person of Hawaii native and fashion designer Nong Ariyaphon Southiphong. 

Back is Season 8 of Project Runway she looked a little different as fashion designer Andy South and made it to the finals of that season's competition.

The now 25 year old Nong acknowledged her transition in a February interview in the Hawaii's Expression magazine.   Pictures of her started appearing on her Facebook page back in March.

She recently made the gender code changes on her Facebook page in addition to leaving this June 3 message on it.

"Thank you to my fans and friends who have supported me all the way," she wrote. "Much has changed in a year. I am blessed to be accepted and welcomed just the way I am. May that love flow through me and onto many others. Live in love for the world needs it."

Welcome to the community and the #GirlsLikeUs ranks, Nong.   We're glad to have you.with us!

Our Chocolate Coming Out Parameters Are Not Like Yours

Over the weekend I shook my head and chuckled to myself as the reactions in the Blogosphere and elsewhere began to trickle in as a result of Queen Latifah's performance at the Long Beach Pride Festival and Raven's comments regarding rumors that she's part of the rainbow family.

The Queen has been dogged by those rainbow rumors ever since she played butch lesbian Cleo in the movie Set It Off off back in the late 90's.  Her appearance at the 4th largest pride festival in the States only added new fuel to the fire.

The latest person to feel the come out of the chocolate rainbow closet heat is now 26 year old Raven-Symoné in the wake of a National Liar Enquirer article claiming she was dating America's Next Top Model out lesbian contestant AzMarie Livingston

Raven tweeted this response to the rumors

"I'm living my PERSONAL life the way I'm happiest," she tweeted. "I'm not one, in my 25 year career to disclose who I'm dating. and I shall not start now. My sexual orientation is mine, and the person I'm datings to know. I'm not one for a public display of my life."

She continued that "however that is my right as a HUMAN BEing whether straight or gay. To tell or not to tell. As long as I'm not harming anyone. I am a light being made from love. And my career is the only thing I would like to put on display, not my personal life. Kisses!"

Got that right.   Thanks for telling it like it T-I-S is, Raven.

While having more out and proud chocolate rainbow people is always a good thing and frankly we could use more positive Black TBLG role models, it's not only still up to that person to make the call when they are comfortable enough in their own skin to do so,  we have as African descended rainbow people different parameters we factor into that coming out decision.

Black people in general are politically liberal, but socially conservative.   When I say conservative, I don't mean the batturd crazy stuff that is on regular display in Republican circles.   We are also as a community still grappling with as the recent marriage equality evolution and announcement by President Obama was an example of, reconciling our personal deeply held faith traditions to our social justice leanings when it comes to the issues of BTLG human rights.  

And yeah, let me be real on this, some of my peeps are just straight up transphobes and homophobes hiding behind their faith to be as bigoted as they wanna be.   The faith based drama they stir up causes deleterious effects in our lives.

As we African-descended transwomen are painfully reminded of on a monthly basis, the anti-LGBT hate speech fuels anti-trans violence that has cost far too many transpeople our lives.  It forces us to factor personal safety into our coming out decision making.. 

Many of us Black GLBT people grow up in the church and still faithfully attend regular Sunday services because our religious faith is an intrinsic core value we build the rest of our lives around.  If coming out means that we're no longer welcome in a church we've attended since childhood, that's for some people a price they are not willing to pay.

Our families and those relationships are also as important to us as the ones we have with our church and our faith and spirituality.   One of the things I was afraid of when I transitioned was how I would handle the worst case scenario of never seeing any of my family members again if they chose to cut ties to me. 

While my family relationship was rocky for a few years, fortunately that permanent split I feared didn't happen even though I was prepared for it had it occurred. But I have run across people in my nearly two decades spent in the rainbow community for whom birthdays and holidays are very depressing moments for them because their families did cut ties with them.  

Since we African-Americans have had to deal with being the last hired and first fired in this country, a J-O-B has huge importance to us. 

If you're a public figure like Queen Latifah and Raven, you additionally have to factor into your decision whether coming out is worth the money and roles you're going to lose out on in a vanillacentric Hollywood that is already hard enough for straight cisgender Black actresses to work in.
 
Now people, leave Raven-Symoné and The Queen alone about their private lives and who they may or may not be sleeping with. We are already blessed enough in terms of them sharing their singing and acting talents to entertain us, and they deserve to have some part of their lives that is private.

Neither is it any of our concern who they choose to sleep with.    If they wish to tell us that part of their business, that should be their decision alone to make in terms of going public with that or not and if they do the timing of that announcement.

Hello Vittoria!

Remember when the story came out back in November about the Italian actor who announced at a press conference she was about to transition? 

Well, it's a few months later, and here's Vittoria.   Vittoria Schisano is in the house and looking good.

Welcome to the trans family Vittoria.   You gained a lot of brothers and sisters worldwide who will be very interested in seeing how your acting career transpires from this point forward