The TDOR Is A Memorial, Not A Party

One of the things that I've heard over and over from some quarters of the trans community about the upcoming November 20 worldwide celebration of the Transgender Day of Remembrance is that it's 'too somber' or 'depressing'.

Um, hello  It's a memorial to the people we've lost to anti-transgender violence.   It's not supposed to be a happy-happy joy-joy event.

TDOR is designed to point out to the media the cost of anti-trans violence.  It's an opportunity for our allies to do intersectional work with our community and support us on one of our issues.  And when I lost my friend Nakhia to violence while living in Louisville back in 2008, it became a way to show the family and friends of the departed transperson how much we love and respect that individual and provide some closure for all who knew the person.

It is not an opportunity for GLAAD, HRC or other GL orgs to fundraise in our community for your coffers, or for college students or people to have an excuse to party.   You want a party, then do so on the International Day of Trans Visibility or pick another day on the calendar such as TDOR founder Gwen Smith suggested, the August anniversary date of the 1966 Compton's Cafeteria riots..  

TDOR exists as a day for us to memorialize the people that we've lost and get people to focus on the fact we are taking the brunt of violence aimed at the TBLG community.   I damned sure as a transperson of African descent want to keep it in the forefront of people's minds that 70% of the people we memorialize every year are transpeople of color..  

There are 364 other days on the calendar (365 in a leap year) for partying.   This isn't one of them.

Damned If We Do-Damned If We Don't

One of the things our opponents consistently rail about is the Almighty Porcelain Throne Room.    In their zeal to use the bathroom as their lone propaganda weapon of choice in their fight to keep trans people from getting our badly needed constitutional rights, they've used falsehood filled 'bathroom predator'  arguments. 



Some of our opponents have even suggested we use the bathroom based on the genitalia between our legs irregardless of the physical morphing of our bodies.

Um, no.   Here's an example of why transpeople reject that latter argument.  

A Canadian transman in the early stages of his transformation was struck in the face at St. Thomas University in Fredericton, NB because he entered the women's restroom 

Now imagine what would happed to a transwoman if she were forced to or told she had to go to the men's room despite estrogen working its feminine magic on her body.  

Does the word 'boot dance' conjure up any painfully problematic scenarios for you?

I'm not down with taking a beatdown simply to pee.  That's illogical    While I try to role model Kingian principles in my life, there are times when if you put your hands on me in anythign but a loving manner, be prepared for the consequences of that action. especailly when all I want to do is simply pee in peace.

The point is, and it bears repeating, there is NO documented instance of a transperson sexually or violently assaulting any cis person in a restroom.    Truth be told, the assaults that are documented like the incident in New Brunswick are the other way around and we are on the receiving end of the violence.

So we're damned if we do, damned if we don't in terms of the gender binary laced politics surrounding the Almighty Porcelain Throne Room.

So I ask the question again that I've asked in other posts on this blog..  Can a transbrother or transsister pee in peace?    And if no is your answer to that question, why is it your business or concern what bathroom I and my transpeeps use anyway?

Alexandra Can Stay In USA

Tom Tancredo and most of the Republifool anti-immigration crowd are always screaming 'deport them' as their answer to the immigration debate when in many cases, it's not that simple.

In addition to the fact there are an estimated 12 million undocumented people here, what if you immigrated to the States without documentation to save your life?

That's the situation 32 year old transwoman Alexandra Reyes found herself in.   While growing up in Cenotillo, Mexico she got caught at age 8 wearing her sister's clothes and shoes. She was tied to a tree by her father and severely beaten for it.

The non acceptance and trans hatred in her family continued to fester and only escalated from that point.
An aunt once walked into her bedroom bearing a machete with the intent to kill her because she didn't want Alexandra in the family any more. 

The Mexican police would decline to arrest her tormentors, so in 2000 she paid a smuggler to get her across the border, then spent four days and nights walking across the desert until she reached Colorado and the safety of a friend who was living there.

She got into trouble over a round trip cab fare from Aurora, CO to Breckenridge that totaled $500 but the friend she was meeting refused to pay thus sticking her with the bill.   She went to the cab company a week later to pay it, but the cab company called the police, who then called ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) on her.    

Because Alexandra is preoperative, she spent 11 months housed with male prisoners in an immigration detention facility but according to a Denverpost.com report didn't have any adverse incidents happen.

Because same gender marriage is legal in Mexico City and GLBT tourists head to Mexican beach resorts on a regular basis,  there is a perception among immigration judges that Mexico is tolerant and welcoming.   But what many people also forget is that Mexico is a Roman Catholic with rural pockets of intolerance in in the country. 


Alexandra's immigration attorney Bryon Large argued before the Board of Immigration Appeals against her deportation back to Mexico by recalling a case of a gay Mexican citizen that was deported after being denied asylum by Canada.   That person was found dead after returning to Mexico.

Alexandra clearly fit into that category.   "It would be physically dangerous for her to walk down the street," said Large. 'She could be sexually assaulted"

 
Thanks to the efforts of Large and the Rocky Mountain Immigrant Advocacy Network, Reyes was

granted asylum last week based on the abuse she'd already suffered and the determination that she would not be protected by the Mexican government if she were deported.

One of the conditions of her asylum status is she can't leave the US and has to stay out of legal trouble.   But it's not like Reyes is eager to return to her birth country.  She's now living in a Aurora apartment with friends and deciding what kind of work she'd like to do while waiting to receive her work permit

"What I have seen here is people are more open than people from my country," she said. "Sometimes I miss Mexico, but I am scared to return."

LA Po-Po's Looking For Suspects Who Assaulted Trans Person

Damn, can a trans person just peaceably go about their lives without being jacked with?


The Los Angeles Police Department is searching for five suspects in as they called it an 'unusually vicious'  assault on a 25 year old transperson in Hollywood that left the victim bloody, battered and with a broken cheek and jawbone.

To add insult to injury, the KTLA-TV report misgenders the victim as a 'transgender woman'.

News flash, a transgender woman is a male to female transperson or transwoman who presents herself in the female gender role.   A 'transgender man'  or transman is a female to male transperson who presents himself in the male gender role.  

Such a simple, straightforward concept that you media peeps continue to screw up.


The 5'4" and 125 pound transman lives in the San Fernando Valley and had just departed a bar near the intersection of La Brea and Melrose avenues in the wee hours of October 1.

The transman was attacked by three ciswomen and two cismen, and according to witnesses, the attackers were beating and kicking the victim in the middle of the street, said Los Angeles Police Sgt. Mitzi Grasso. The victim was kicked in the face and was hit on the head with a bottle, leaving cuts on the victim's neck before fleeing in a white Chevy Suburban.

Police has not classified this attack as a hate crime, but the investigation is continuing to find the waste of DNA who did it.

So help the LA Police out.   Anyone with information about this case is asked to call the LAPD Wilshire Division's Major Assault Crimes Section at (213) 922-9234 or (213) 922-8268. During non-business hours or weekends, callers can try 1-877-LAPD-24-7 or anonymously contact Crimestoppers at 1-800-222-TIPS, (800)-222-8477.

Tipsters may also contact Crimestoppers by texting 274637 (C-R-I-M-E-S on most key pads) using a cellphone. All text messages should begin with the acronym LAPD. Tipsters can also go to www.LAPDOnline.org, click on "web tips" and follow the prompts.