A Transsistah's Secret- The Boobies

One of the other anxiety driving concerns for transwomen is their breasts.

We're filled with questions such as how will they look? Will they be relatively proportionate? How big will they get and will I need implants if they don't?

Another question transwomen need to be asking is what's my family history for breast cancer?

So to answer the how big question, basically a transwoman's breast development will be the average size of the biowomen in her family. So if the biowomen in your family are C and D cups, you can reasonably anticipate after two years to have that breast size. If the women in your family are A and B cups, you can expect to be applying for membership in the IBTC as well.

So if after two years you're not happy with the growth you're getting, then it's advised that at that point, you can investigate getting implants done.

One thing I don't support is injecting free silicone in them to get the desired size. Yeah, you may look 'fishy' and cute today, but when you start getting older that silicone will crystallize into lumps you'll have to get surgically removed.

By the way, if you wish to see what normal and not Hollywood breasts look like, do this at home. Click on the link to this site that has photos of a cross section of women of different ages, ethnic groups at different stages of their life.

And as I already mentioned, Yes, my biosisters, once we transwomen start taking hormones to start our transitions we face a doubled risk for breast cancer. So yes, we need to do self exams on our breasts at regular intervals and once we hit 40, mammograms as well.

A Transsistah's Secret- Hair

It's no accident that Madame CJ Walker, the first African-American millionaire, made her money by creating a hair care system aimed at African-American women. It's no secret that we have multiple magazines such as Sophisticate's Black Hair that are dedicated to talking about it as well.

In the run up to transition it's one of the stress inducing parts of it for Black transwomen. One of our keys to blending in with our biosisters is making sure our air is hooked up and it's the bomb. It's important for us to not only find a beautician who will be open minded about taking on a transgender client, but who has skills as well to deal with some of the challenges she'll face caring for our hair.

Our hair, be it natural, loced, braided, curly, straight or wavy is not only a Black woman's crowning glory, it is her way to express her individuality and style.

It also at times takes on political connotations as well. The pride we take in our hair dates back to slavery. Slave masters not only forbade the braided styles we often wore that connected us to our various peoples back on the Mother Continent, but the wide tooth combs and shea butter to care for our hair wasn't available.

Toss in our ongoing battle with a beauty standard skewed toward white women, and you can see over time why blonde hair on Black women didn't become an acceptable hair color until the 90's.

Whether it's wearing the Afro in the 60's and 70's as an expression of Black pride, braids and locs in the 80's and the 2k's, our relationship with our hair is the first key decision that we make as Black transwomen that expresses who we are and the type of image we wish to project to the world.

And sometimes the fight to express our individuality and pride in our heritage leads to litigation when it clashes head on with white privilege, which deems certain styles in corporate settings as 'unprofessional'.

But at the same time our hair issues also remind us Black transwomen at times what we missed not growing up female. The bonding experience steeped in our people's history of the youngest child sitting in the chair near the kitchen stove on Saturday morning having her hair greased, parted and hot combed as she and two generations of women in the family talk about various issues while she prayed she didn't get burned.

It's why hair issues for a Black transwoman are a major concern and she's ecstatically happy when she finally does get to sit in that beauty shop chair. It's another important milepost on her journey to Black womanhood.

A Transsistah's Secret-Legs

She's got legs, she knows how to use them.
She never begs, she knows how to choose them.
She's holdin' legs wonderin' how to feel them.
Would you get behind them if you could only find them?
She's my baby, she's my baby,
yeah, it's alright.

ZZ Top Legs

My fellow Texans and legions of singers and writers have waxed poetically about the mystery and beauty of women's legs.

Short of our faces, breasts and our bodies, the next thing a transsistah obsesses about (because she knows that guys and sometimes other women do) are her legs. The last thing she wants is to have NFL linebacker legs or anything that has a mere hint of masculinity.

Fortunately the shape of our legs is something that we have a little control over in terms of exercise to tone and shape them. In addition we get the same benefits from estrogen when it comes to our bodies that biowomen get in creating feminine curves.

After we start taking them, over time hormones do shift fat around and elongate the leg muscles to create a more feminine look to them.

And if you've grown up in the African-American community, you are well aware of the fact that many of our legendary beauties from Lena to Dorothy to Tina to Rihanna have been admired and desired not only for their looks, curvy brown frames, talent and intelligence, but their killer legs as well.

Rihanna not only won Venus Breeze's 2007’s Celebrity Legs of a Goddess, but they also insured her legs with Lloyd's of London for $1 million.

I've observed that guys go especially gaga over those legs if they're wearing hose with them.

Hey ladies, just kicking knowledge to y'all from my time on the other side of the gender fence. If you prefer male companionship, break out the hose. Your love life and the hosiery makers of the planet will thank you for it later.

But back to the original post.

So is it any wonder that after observing the cultural cues and taking all that in, why transwomen, and especially African-American ones would be anxious about how their legs look?

It's also a concern if you're involved in the pageant or ballroom communities in which the closest you come to looking as feminine as possible enhances your chances of winning.

I got the genetic luck of the draw with my legs as well. I can't tell y'all how many hours of teasing I endured in my junior high gym classes about my 'girl's legs' or after we started doing coed gym in tenth grade how many comments I got from my female classmates stating that I needed to trade my legs for theirs.

So I was comforted in the knowledge that HRT would already enhance what I had. Being 6'2" and mostly legs at that, it takes me hours just to shave them. It's an exercise testing my Taurean patience just to get it done, and I do it deliberately and carefully in order to avoid the tendency of rushing it and nicking myself in the process.

Personally I'd like to zap them with the laser and be done with it, but since I'm not rolling in that kind of dough yet, it's the razor, Nair, waxing, depilatories or whatever new product becomes available to get them looking their best.

A Transsistah's Secret-Facial Hair Removal

One of the things that annoys any phase of transwoman to no end, be she pre, post or non op is plucking stray facial hairs or picking up a razor to closely shave her face.

You not only have to do it so that you leave no traces of hair stubble on your face, you have to use extreme caution in doing so to avoid nicking and cutting yourself in the process.

It's a cruel irony of male to female transition and taking estrogen that while body hair growth slows to a crawl, if you've started male pattern balding, your hair in the area that's shedding hair won't regenerate. The other cruel irony is that facial hair is a more stubborn beast impervious to anything but its permanent removal, and nothing gets you read faster than five o'clock beard shadow.

Depilatory creams and waxing help, but they are only temporary solutions. To permanently remove it, you have two choices, either electrolysis or laser.

I was fortunate because I had a lower than normal testosterone count so my facial hair growth was relatively light. Even so, I was tired of shaving what hair I did get and starting in 1997 I spent three years back home undergoing electrolysis with my electrologist Marie Asmar.

Basically what happens in this 100 year old method of hair removal is a needle is inserted into the hair follicle bulb at the base of the hair shaft and an electric current shoots into the base of the hair follicle to kill it.

It is a meticulous, time consuming process and as I mentioned earlier, facial hair is a stubborn beast. It will sometimes take multiple applications to kill that follicle for good with varying levels of pain as you undergo it while the cash meter is running as you do so.

As I sat in Marie's office, as she worked on my face I'd listen to her tell fascinating stories about the Houston Arab community and her girlhood in Lebanon. In the meantime the buzz in the local and national transgender community was all about Dallas' Electrology 2000.

Electrology 2000 was founded in 1986 by Ruthann and Bren Piranio. At the time I transitioned in 1994 they'd been in business for almost a decade and had some loyal customers in my TATS group who positively raved about it.

E2000 was doing a booming business with the transgender community inside and outside Texas because it was reputed to be relatively pain free. E2000 and its adherents claimed that it took less time to clear your face over traditional electrolysis techniques, which could only clear small sections of your face in one sitting.

Even though I was a one hour plane ride from Dallas due to my then airline job, as I investigated it, the drawback was its cost. It required large cash outlays up front while you pay many electrologists an hourly rate or can negotiate for blocks of time at a flexible rate.

E2000's large cash upfront business model unfortunately locks out most transpeeps of color. It's ironic because the E2000 technique was purported to be effective at clearing African-American facial hair and stopping pseudofolliculitis barbae, aka razor bumps.

Just like the hairs on African-American heads, the natural curl in it means that when you cut it with the razor, it grows back in a curled pattern. The now sharpened end of recently cut hair penetrates the skin, which interprets it as a foreign body attacking it and causes an inflamed skin bump.

So as usual, most of the folks taking advantage of it had money and jobs that allowed them to take time off from work to fly to the Dallas metro area to do so.

E2000's sensitivity to the transgender community not only contributed to its success, but also meant long waiting times jockeying with transpeeps all over the country just to get an appointment. If you didn't have relatives in Dallas like I did (and at the time they weren't aware of my transition) then you have to add the additional expense of hotel rooms and auto to get around since it's in the 'burbs in Carrollton.

It's been around for 22 years and is now under new management as Electrology 3000. So even though my then airline job paid me well enough to afford it, I said thanks but no thanks to E2000. Marie was also treating other transgender clients at the time and I liked her, the fact she was up the street from my apartment, I was happy with her work and her rate was reasonable.

The other method used is laser. At the time I was starting to undergo electrolysis and ruled out E2000, the first lasers were coming out. However, the early lasers were useless for African-American or darker skinned people and it took several years before the third generation long pulse YAG lasers were developed that actually works for African-Americans.

Laser has the advantage of being faster time wise, less painful than traditional electrolysis and being able to treat larger expanses of skin in one treatment, but shares the same problem of repeated applications until the hair follicle ceases production. It's also more resistant to certain colors of hair such as gray, red or blonde.

But for those of us who wish to look our gender best, in order to permanently get rid of our facial hair, laser and electrolysis are options that we have to consider and decide whether to factor it into or out of our transition budgets.

A Transsistah's Secret-Tucking

If you've ever attended or watched video of a transgender pageant or ball, you've probably watched contestants strut their stuff in skimpy bathing suits or wear tight jeans and look good doing it.

You also probably wondered as you watched them strut back and forth across the stage how do pre-op transwomen and female illusionists hide the neoclitoris?

Well, it's a technique that we call tucking. The methods to accomplish 'hiding the candy' as the Lady Chablis called it are as varied as the transpeople who use them.

One which sounds painful is basically pushing the family jewels into the cavity they descended from. The testicles shrink as you keep swallowing estrogen or taking the shots, so it's not as hard as it sounds.

You basically spread your legs and carefully push the the testicles toward the cavity. Once you get them in the cavity the scrotal sac will be empty, and you can wrap that loose skin around the penile shaft and then pull it all back between your legs using either tape or an extra set of panties to hold everything in place. Gravity will get them back into their natural position when you free the penis.

Yes, peeps do shave the area to make sure that they don't give themselves an impromptu Brazilian wax. Most people also use surgical tape these days instead of duct tape since duct tape can pull skin off as you remove it.

Others will use a gaff to tuck the neoclit away while others just simply pull it back as far as it will go and wear a girdle or an extra pair of panties to ensure that everything stays in place.

Sometimes it doesn't always stay in place and the neoclit wiggles free. With the interior testicular method you have to be very careful when you sit down, otherwise you get the sensation of someone kicking you in the groin.

Feminine fashions are designed to accentuate the body. Jeans are designed to be form fitting and tight, and the last thing you want is a frontal bulge while wearing them, especially if you are in certain social situations. Tucking will continue to be a necessary evil for pre-ops until they can get to the point they can afford either SRS or an orchiectomy to remove the family jewels.

A Transsistah's Secret-Makeup

One of the things I've gotten a lot of compliments about over the years and I take pride in is how I apply my makeup. Sometimes I get asked how I do it.

Well, a lot of it was simply practice. I've been playing with it since I was 15, and most times all I would do is just put it on and try different looks. By doing that I learned what eye shadow and lipstick colors worked for me and which ones didn't. I learned how to apply the right amount of blush to my cheekbones without looking like a cartoon character.

I paid closer attention to how biowomen who wore makeup looked while they were out and about in the world. I emulated the women (and my transgender sisters in Montrose) whose looks I liked and used as cautionary tales the looks I didn't like. (using black eyeliner pencil to line lips, for example)

I learned how to use a steady hand to apply eyeliner pencils because I personally don't like the look of liquid eyeliners.

That was difficult for me because in junior high I got hit in the left eye with a balled up piece of pottery clay in my 7th grade art class. I still have a reflexive motion as a result of that incident that causes my left eyelid to rapidly shut and water anytime some foreign object gets near it.

The involuntary eye shutting reflex caused me major problems during baseball season the following spring because for a right handed hitter, you are using your left eye to spot the ball. For most of the early part of that season, anytime a pitcher threw me a curve ball, my eye and brain perceived it as a 'Danger' moment, the eyelid fluttered shut and I missed badly while swinging at the pitch.

But back to the subject at hand. The funny thing about it was that I used to shut both eyes while applying my eyeliner pencils, and what that did was allow me to develop a technique in which I can place it where I need it to go without staring in the mirror. Eventually my brain stopped interpreting my eyeliner pencil as a threat and I could open and close an eye to apply it as normal.

I fought to get over the shame and guilt of actually walking up to the makeup counter and buying what I needed for my forays into Montrose. In addition to that, I went through a trial and error period before I finally hit upon the right combination of products that work for this Phenomenal Transwoman.

I was an obsessive perfectionist about my look in my early transition days. I wanted to make sure I didn't step outside the crib looking drag queenish. My goal when I put my other face on was to look like the average biowoman on the street.

I'm a firm believer that you can learn something about any subject from reading books, and makeup application wasn't any different. As a matter of fact, two books that had (and still do) occupy prominent places on my bookshelf are Sam Fine's Fine Beauty and Reggie Wells' Face Painting.

They are both renowned celebrity makeup artists who dealt predominately with African-American celebrities. Reggie Wells was Oprah's Emmy Award winning makeup artist while Sam Fine was Tyra's and a few other sistah supermodels makeup man of choice during the 90's.

Tyra's book Tyra's Beauty Inside and Out was also helpful in not only talking about makeup application, it also focused on working on the inner you as well. One of the lessons I got from her book, in Tyra's typical 'keepin' it real' style is that all makeup does is enhance the exterior.

To emphasize that point, she took a photo of herself without makeup and highlighted all her imperfections, then showed a picture of her with makeup on.

The book's message was something I already knew before I transitioned, but it bears repeating. It's what's going on inside personality wise that makes you beautiful.

But the makeup tips was what i bought the books for, and I surmised if I was going to learn the basics, short of getting help from a biowoman about it, what better teachers than those two men and a supermodel?

I mentioned the trial and error part of my makeup search. When it came to my foundation, it was definitely that. I started off using the Posner that you can easily get in most beauty supply stores and drugstores. The shade was slightly off and I had to spend time correcting it with a darker powder to make it match my skin tone.

I finally decided to try the two makeup giants for African-American women at the time I transitioned, Flori Roberts and Fashion Fair. I started with the Flori Roberts because it was slightly less expensive than the Fashion Fair, and struck paydirt with a cream foundation shade that matched my skin tone perfectly. For several years I bought it until Flori Roberts counters started disappearing from department store makeup areas in the wake of the department store merger and acquisition wave of the 80's and 90's.

Eventually I moved on to Fashion Fair. It took me two tries before I discovered that their Pure Brown Glo shade was my match, and I've used it faithfully ever since. It also has the advantage of being a thick cream foundation, so before I started my electrolysis in the late 90's, that was a major advantage in hiding any five o'clock shadow growth that would occur no matter how closely you shaved.

I use Coty's airspun loose translucent powder that I get from any drugstore, and it's the same place I get my pencils, my lip gloss and my Maybelline mascara. I only do mascara if I'm going out since I have naturally long eyelashes already.

I do like Fashion Fair's lipsticks and eyeshadow palettes as well, although MAC has some nice stuff for women of color, too.

If you're a t-sistah on a budget, Posner's still out there along with the Cover Girl Queen line. Haven't tried any of their stuff yet to see if there's a shade hat works for me just in case they run out of my fave Fashion Fair one. It seems like half of Louisville wears my shade, and I have to make sure I have a backup when Derby and Christmas are approaching.

Oh yeah budding t-girls, don't forget that if you put it on, you have to take it off as well. I'm blessed with smooth even toned skin and I take care of it. I'm armed with facial cleansers, soaps, astringents, and facial masques to make sure I get whatever residual makeup is on my face off of it.

On that note, it's time for me to do my facial. Later peeps.

A Transsistah's Secret--SBH Magazine

One of the things I bitched about (and still do on occasion) is my early transition days. When I sought help from my transgender elders in the early 80's, they either blew me off, were tight-lipped about giving out any information that would facilitate my transition, or guarded it like it was the secret recipe for KFC.

Well, for the benefit of you peeps just getting started, I'm not gonna be as shady to y'all as my predecessors were. I will from time to time blog about some of my secrets that helped me become the Phenomenal Transwoman you see before you in all her glory.

Whether it's short, mid length, long, a weave to her butt, curly, wavy, bone-straight, permed, locked or braided, a Black woman's hair is her crowning glory. It expresses her individuality and style.

It can also be a political statement as well. Whether it was Afro's in the 60's and 70's, blonde hair in the late 80's-early 90's, or braids and locs currently are in the 2K's.

If there's one thing that will get a transsistah read faster than you can say 'nappy weave', it's a jacked up hairstyle. It was one of the things pre-transition that I stressed and obsessed over.

So after I found Sadat Busari, my former hairdresser in H-town, I began to search for the perfect hairstyle that fit me. My search led me directly to the magazine rack to pick up a copy of Sophisticate's Black Hair.

Sophisticate's Black Hair, or SBH for short, is a Chicago-based publication edited by Jocelyn P. Amador. For over two decades it has not only shown us the many creative ways we sistahs wear our hair, it also included informative articles about how to maintain the style after you left the salon, and also how to maintain our hair so it stays strong and healthy.

It's also chock full of clip and snip examples of various hairstyles so that you can take the one you like to your friendly neighborhood stylist and let her hook your hair up to your satisfaction.

Like EBONY, ESSENCE, Jet and Black Enterprise magazines, SBH is an iconic slice of African-American culture. It also has a mission of celebrating Black beauty. It has celebrity photo layouts in every issue in which they share their beauty tips. I was aware of SBH because I loved me some Jayne Kennedy Overton back in the day (and still do), and she was SBH's first cover model back in 1984.

I still have old SBH issues in my possession, and interestingly enough they serve as an African-American cultural time capsule. Not only do I get a kick out of seeing what hairstyles were popular back in the day, many of the celebrity layouts reflected popular cultural icons of the day such as Phylicia Rashad, Jasmine Guy, Robin Givens, Gabrielle Union, and Garcelle Beauvais-Nilon just to name a few. It also features up and coming stage, screen and music stars as well.

I never miss their anniversary issue, which features the Top 10 Best Style Women as voted on by SBH readers. BTW, for 2008 its Mary J. Blige, Keyshia Cole, Beyonce, Alicia Keys, Eve, Tyra Banks, Kimora Lee Simmons, Halle Berry, Rihanna, and Queen Latifah.

As it approaches its 25th anniversary, I have much love for Sophisticate's Black Hair magazine. I gleaned a few style ideas from it that Sadat easily tweaked to work for me. I also have to give SBH a shout out for reminding us and the world just how beautiful African-American women really are and not letting us forget it.

Thanks SBH, and may you be around for the next generation of sistahs to read as well.