Thanks To My Trans Sistas, Too

Tomorrow will mark the 20th anniversary of the 1994 day I began the very public coming out phase of my gender transition.   I wrote a post thanking the cis women in my sistahcircle who were there at various points along the way cheering me on and helping me evolve to become the Phenomenal Transwoman you see before you today.

I could have said it in the April 1 post, but as I wrote that post I took it out because I felt the influence of the trans community on my development needed more than just a paragraph or two, but needed to be in a separate post of its own. 

It wasn't just my cis sisters that had a hand in pushing me to become the best woman of trans experience I could be, trans women of all ages, ethnic backgrounds and nationalities had a hand in it as well. 

Transwomen were also during these last 20 years teaching me the good, bad, and ugly lessons I needed to learn at various point in my transfeminine journey.  From those first TATS meetings I attended in various locales around Houston from 1994 until I moved in 2001 to Da Ville, the first group of trans women who had active influence in shaping the person I am today were the ones who came in and out of TATS during that period.  

There are others here and elsewhere who I can't name who have chosen to non-disclose, but who had wisdom to pass on to me as well about life, love and generally dealing with many of the issues that only another transwoman would be able to break down.  

There were my activist mentors and possibility models like Phyllis Frye, Dainna Cicotello, Sarah DePalma, Vanessa Edwards Foster, Josephine Tittsworth, Dawn Wilson, A. Dionne Stallworth and Dr. Marisa Richmond who not only reawakened my interest in politics, but reminded me that as someone who has been blessed with great talents, leadership skills and the ability to have been able to transition, we needed to give something back to our community.  

There were trans women in the Louisville area I have much love for as well who helped me feel at home during my Texan in exile years and also had more lessons to teach.

There are international trans women who not only helped 'ejumacate' me about how trans issues are evolving in their parts of the planet, they have also become wonderful friends and colleagues in the trans human rights struggle.  

The new kids on the trans block, the Generation X, Generation Y and Millennials who even though I'm old enough to be their mom or Big Sis in some cases, have qualities that I admire and inspire me to step up my game.  Some of them at times like my little sisters Jordana LeSesne and Tona Brown have not hesitated to give Big Sis a much needed motivational kick in the butt when necessary. 

My trans elders are also part of the equation.   They are kicking that trans herstory to me along with their hard earned and won wisdom.  They are also giving me and everyone else in the transfeminine community examples of how to age regally and gracefully.

I have much love for the transkids like Jazz, Natalie Maines, Tracey Wilson and countless others who are fighting these inspirational battles to be themselves at the elementary, middle and high school levels.   I not only envy and admire them for being able to do so at such young ages with the help of supportive families, they remind me and my generation that the primary goal of the activism we do in our time on the planet is so that when the younglings get to our ages, they'll hopefully have less societal drama.

There are my trans sisters in the pageant and drag worlds who while on their own evolutionary journeys, made time in their busy lives to help straighten a sistah's presentation out and look her gender best..  

The transbrothers have had their input from the late Alexander John Goodrum to the men of BTMI.  They have reminded me that I have been just as much an inspiration to them as they have been to me.     

Just like the cis sisters who have been or still are a part of my evolving feminine journey,  some have been here with me the entire two decades. 

Some were only here for certain parts of it to teach me lessons I needed to know at that time and have moved on to live their own lives, while others came in a bit later but are hanging with me now. 

And sadly, there are the people who I met along the way like Lois Bates, Dee McKellar, Christie Lee Littleton Van de Putte, Michelle Myers, Roberta Angela Dee, Sylvia Rivera, Dana Turner,  Jaci Adams, Tracy Bumpus and Nakhia Williams who have passed on. 

So to the girls and guys like us out ther who had a hand over the last 20 years in helping me become the best Moni I can be and own my power while doing so, thank you. 

It Is Revolutionary To Be Trans

Laverne Cox was speaking tell it like it T-I-S is truth when she stated, "It is revolutionary for any trans person to choose to be seen and visible in a world that tells us we should not exist."


And the world tries to send us that message in multiple ways.   We have the cisgender know-nothings who in spite of overwhelming visual, historical, cultural and medical evidence continue to deny there's no such thing as trans people.  Christofascists who are now trying to retool and peddle their failed ex-gay conversion therapies in our direction.   Media people who try to have disrespectful, insulting genitalia centered conversations about who they think we are without having us at the table.  

And sadly, there are the wastes of DNA who use extreme violence to kill us as we navigate the world.

Yes, it is a monumental task to try to navigate being trans in a world that can be at times brutally hostile to us. 

But one of the things that will get us through it is overcoming the shame, guilt and fear that the hostile world and others try to saddle us with by turning it into self-esteem and self love.

It is a self esteem and self love built upon a rock solid foundation of pride in being a trans person, faith in yourself and whatever you call the Higher Power and knowledge of our proud history.

I love this quote by Dr. Louise Hart in which she says, "Self-esteem is as important to our well being as legs to a table.  It is essential for mental and physical health and happiness."

While it can seem like we trans people in the borrowed words of Denny Upkins are ice skating uphill in our ongoing attempts to build that healthy self esteem in the face of a world that consistently pushes the message we don't exist, it doesn't mean that it will never happen for us either.   You can and must as a trans human being as a necessary survival strategy develop healthy self-esteem in order to navigate a world hostile to us.

We unfortunately have to work a lot harder at not only achieving it, but maintaining it.   

But when you do achieve that goal, it makes it so much easier to be out, proud of who you are and the wonderful evolutionary human being who just happens to be visibly trans you are.

When you love yourself, consistently work on building your self-esteem and live your life to the best of your abilities,  you can then begin the revolutionary process of being seen, visible and living your trans flavored life. 

If cis people inside and outside the TBLG community don't like it, tough.  They can #bemad and #staymad about the fact you are a revolutionary, and it is revolutionary to be the wonderful person of trans experience you are.  
  

What Does 'Tell It Like It T-I-S Is' Mean?

For those of you who read my blog regularly. you'll note that I have the phrase 'tell it like it T-I-S is' incorporated in many of the over 7000 blog posts I've composed for this blog.
 
So what does it mean and where did it come from?

I didn't create it.  I give the credit for it to the 'Father of Black Radio', Jack 'The Rapper' Gibson.' 

I used to read his Mello Yello Black radio and music publication when my Dad was finished with it, and saw it there regularly.  I loved Gibson's no holds barred truth telling style when he wrote about issues inside and outside Black radio world. 

The T-I-S in that phrase I borrowed from him stands for 'truth is sacred'.  It hearkens back to a long history we have in the African-American community of fearlessly speaking truth to power.

As James Baldwin once wrote in Rap on Race in 1971, "I write to bear witness to the truth.'.  

And so do I.   That's one of my goals here at TransGriot.   Yes, I find it interesting that some people can't handle that truth, especially when I am in tell it like it T-I-S is mode.  I do so because to do anything less is spitting on the legacy of the legions of truth telling writers my people have proudly produced and I am an heir to that legacy.  

As a unapologetically Black trans person who has the writing skills to (sometimes) pay my bills, I am feeling the 1972 words of Gwendolyn Brooks when she said, 'True Black writers speak as Blacks about Blacks for Blacks'.

If you're not Black but get the messages that I convey in my writing, then that's all good too.

So now you know not only where that phrase comes from, but where my head is at when I write it.  

Happy Valentine's Day 2014

It's Valentine's Day 2014, and for you folks who are booed up, I ain't mad at you.   Hope they are treating you with all the love and respect you deserve and are getting all the TLC you can stand.

And conversely, appreciate and treasure every millisecond of it, because there are us single folks who aren't so lucky. 

Despite being single (again) on this day for lovers, I'm not depressed about it.  I'm feeling a lot of elation in terms of the early V-Day present Texas transpeeps received from Chief Justice Rogelio Valdez in overturning that odious 2011 ruling in Nikki Araguz Loyd's trans marriage case and seeing those unjust anti-same sex marriage amendments go down in flames in one state after another.

And the Texas LGBT community has its eyes focused on federal courtrooms in San Antonio and Austin for two cases that may strike critical blows against Texas' unjust constitutional ban on same-sex marriage.

Even Kentucky got in on the fun when a judge ruled the state had to recognize same-sex marriages legally performed out of state.   So it looks like the marriage train is picking up momentum.

But Valentine's Day can still be hard on a single person having to interact with all the people who are coupled.  You flip the channels and see dozens of romance movies being broadcast along with the glut of TV commercials with happy couples on them.  You flip on the radio and hear romantic ballads being crooned.

And then you look at your wall, see the February 14 date on the calendar and yell, "I hate Valentine's Day!" 

And as I continue to joke, I've been wandering the dating Sinai for so long the Israelites walk past me and shake their heads as they head to the dating Promised Land. 

Will it happen for me this year? Who knows?  I'm just at the point in my life now that if it is meant to happen for me it will, and if it doesn't, then I'm not obsessing about it.  

Hey as long as I have chocolate, Hershey's chocolate syrup and Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla ice cream, I'm good. 

Happy Valentine's Day 'errbody'!   

Do I Have People I Admire In This Community? I Sure Do

Much of the time I'm in the position of having someone come up to me and tell me how much they admire me, how long they've been a faithful reader of TransGriot or treat me like a rock star when I'm at a conference or a speaking engagement.. 

Most of the time I'm trying to stay on a even keel about the attention, focus on what I need to do panel or speech wise and not get Big Head Syndrome about it. 

But rest assured, if I start exhibiting signs of it, I have people in my circle of close friends who are ready, willing and eager to pop the air in my big head balloon and quickly bring me back to reality. .

With the looming visit of 4000 of our closest LGBT friends, allies and colleagues in the TBLG human rights struggle headed to my hometown, I've been making sure I've been getting my beauty sleep.  Creating Change 2014 starts for me tomorrow when I walk into that training session at the Hilton American Hotel.

I'm excited because it will not only be my first Creating Change since 1999, I'll get to see some of my old friends in the community on my home turf for a change and get the opportunity to make new ones. 

Also included in that group of 4000 people we Houston Host Committee members are anticipating here at the Hilton Americas and the other overflow hotels around the downtown area are people that I have known for years and been linked with via social media, but for one reason or another our paths haven't crossed for us to officially meet until now.

And yes, I'm excited about that.

Hey, I have my fangirl moments just like 'errbody' else in this community.  I also have much love and respect for many of my contemporaries in the trans, bi and SGL communities who are handling their human rights business and doing it well and I've told them as much.  

With the untimely death of Min. Bobbie Jean Baker a few weeks ago, it was a reminder for me to tell the people I care about how much I love and respect them while they are still on this space rock to hear it. 

It really shouldn't be a shock that with 2014 being the 20th year since I transitioned and this being my 16th year in trans oriented human rights activism, that I have people that I admire who do this work just as much as they do me. 

The folks I admire have many qualities.  Their intellect.  Their longevity in the movement.  Their public speaking or writing talents.  Their willingness to speak truth to power.  Their trailblazing leadership. The intangible qualities they possess that compel me to want to get to know them better as human beings.

And some are allies like Nona Hendryx.  I want to meet her when she does our CC14 closing concert and personally thank her for standing up for the trans community and not playing MichFest last year.

From January 29-February 2 I'm going to get the opportunity to tell them personally how much I love, respect and admire them.  

After the shaking of hands, the hugs, the exchange of compliments and updates on our personal lives, we'll start discussing what they came to Houston for and what I spent almost a year along with the hundred plus members of the Houston Host Committee helping to plan. 

We'll get busy discussing the tactics and strategies necessary to move our BTLG human rights movement forward.
 

My MLK Day 2014 Musings

Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day, the US federal holiday on the third Monday of the month in which we have since 1986 remembered Dr. King's January 15 birthday and contemplated his legacy cut short by an assassin's bullet.

As Rep. John Lewis tweeted this morning, "Today is a day not just to remember the legacy and sacrifice of Dr. King, but a day to reaffirm our own commitment to continuing the struggle to create the beloved community."

Yes, the trans community is not only part of that beloved community, but we have a role to play to make it a reality because the struggle to create the beloved community is our struggle, too.   We transpeople would rather be standing shoulder to shoulder with you cis peeps helping to create that beloved community instead of being told that we aren't a part of 'your community' as you rudely brush us aside.  

Been there, ain't letting that happen ever again.

Yes, we have our own ongoing human rights war that is raging, and it is one we trans humans must be tough minded enough to win again a vast array of opponents who range from right wing conservatives, our disco-era TERF enemies to haters even inside our SGL community ranks.  

We are aware of the fact that right wing haters are shifting tactics in their Culture War and increasingly using transpeople as the main focus of their hate rhetoric.  We cannot let that bull feces go unchallenged.       

As we fight for out human and constitutional rights, we also have to deal with the scourge of shame, guilt and fear in our own trans ranks.   We have to alert for trans sellouts who are willing to throw us all under the civil rights bus for their own safety, comfort and fiscal gain just to enjoy a measure of pseudo cis privilege that will evaporate the nanosecond their trans status is revealed.

We need trans people who are tough minded enough to push trans human rights forward, not peeps hiding in the shadows complaining it isn't happening fast enough as others sit by their computer terminals, twiddle their thumbs and criticize the people putting their butts on the line on social media.

As Dr. King reminded us, "Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?"

While we trans people have urgent work to do to advance trans human rights forward, we also have to be mindful of the fact that we must be diligently working to do things for others.

So what will you personally do to make the beloved community a reality?

Are you registered to vote in this important 2014 federal election cycle?   Are you going to forums when your city, state and federal reps conduct them to let them know they have a trans constituent  who is concerned not only about their own human rights but the rights of others?

Are you taking time out of your day when possible to speak in front of your city council or other governmental entity?  Are you getting involved in helping to organize community events and supporting them when they occur?  Are you passing down our community history to the younger generation?
Are you visibly living your life to the best of your ability?

For those of you who are our cis allies, are you calling out instances of anti-trans hate when they occur in your community?   Are you doing what you can to learn about our issues?   Are you forming lasting friendships and working partnerships with trans people?  Are you reinforcing the point that trans people are human beings to other cis people who haven't bought that vowel and a clue yet?

Trans people are part of the diverse mosaic of human life, and we intersect and interact with many communities on multiple levels. 

As you think about the humanity of transpeople being intertwined with that of other human beings on this planet we share, remember what human rights warrior Julian Bond said that is so apropos on this day. 

"The humanity of all Americans is diminished when any group is denied rights granted to others.”

So as this MLK Day recedes into the history books, a question we should all be pondering is how we transpeople can be intersectionally integrated into this ongoing struggle to create the beloved community that Dr King talked about, and get busy taking action to make it happen.  

Rev. Dr. MLK Jr's 85th Birthday

Today would have been the 85th birthday of the Rev. Dr Martin Luther King, Jr.  

An assassin's bullet took him away from us far too soon, and I wrote about it last year in terms of what our nation probably would have seen and heard from him if he had gotten to live to be the age of many of his civil rights movement comrades.

Dr. King's 85th birthday and the upcoming national holiday brings us to another interesting set of historical anniversaries as it relates to the African-American civil rights movement.   

We just passed the 50th anniversary of LBJ's 'War On Poverty'  State of the Union Address on January 8.    June 21 will see the 50th anniversary of the murders of Chaney Goodman and Schwerner in Philadelphia, MS.   July 2, will see the 50th anniversary of LBJ signing the Civil Rights Act of 1964 into law and December 10 will mark the 50th anniversary of Dr. King receiving his Nobel Peace Prize. 

Our nation is definitely poorer for not having his voice speaking out about the issues of the day, and you know Dr. King and his Nobel laureate self would be loudly speaking about the unjust policies of the Republican Party from their attack on voting rights to their attacks on women and the poor.

And it's a day I tend to reflect on his legacy and do what I can to live up to Kingian principles in my own life.  

Happy birthday Dr. King.   You are definitely missed.   
 

Last Sunday of 2013

Today is the last Sunday of 2013.   We are still as individuals and a community contemplating our lives, the year that is about to become part of our history books and how the rapidly approaching 2014 will shake out for us.

I've been in that contemplation mode since just before Christmas, which caused one of my friends to send a worried note to my mom expressing concerns that I was in the throes of holiday depression.   While I'll admit I wasn't in a chipper mood before Christmas Day arrived, it actually turned out okay.  It wasn't the best Christmas I'd ever had, but neither was it a disastrous one either. 
 
As we all tend to do as New Year's Day approaches,.we look back at our successes, analyze our failures and resolve to use the fresh start that the flip of the calendar page gives us to resolve to do better.

I'm also borrowing a paragraph that Pastor Lawrence T. Richardson wrote.a few months ago and having you commit that to memory for the 2K14.

My message to every trans and gender non-conforming person is this: "God is love and you were made in the image of perfect Love.  There is space for you in this world.  There is space at your church, in your desired career, in your family, on sports teams...and it is time to take your space.  Show up!  In large number or in small...your presence is valued and necessary.  So what, they stare or ask questions, answer them.   Look them in the eyes proudly with your beautiful, handsome, artsy, brilliant, capable, transgendered self.  Claim your space. Rearrange the seating to make room at the table.  Correct people when they use the wrong pronouns.  Hang up your own sign on the bathroom door.  Tell them who you are and who you are not. Be bold.  No one is going to understand what they cannot see, cannot hear or cannot know.   

He's right.  The first part of us Owning Our Power, which is the mantra of NBJC's dynamic CEO/ED Sharon Lettman-Hicks, is showing up.  

And we definitely much continue on the path of boldly claim our space and our seats at whatever tables we choose to sit at. 

What I'd Like To Give The Black Trans Community For Christmas 2013

We are less than nine days away from Christmas Day 2013.  The Christmas music with soul is playing on our favorite radio stations, our favorite Christmas specials are on TV, and we got an early Christmas gift with The Best Man Holiday hitting the multiplexes this year. 

We have Megyn Kelly trying to drop a lump of coal in our Christmas stockings by doing her vanillacentric privileged FOX Noise televised hatin' on Black Santa.

Remember why it's Christmas, people.

But I wanted to make sure that my Black trans brothers and sisters weren't forgotten during this holiday season, especially since we've already lost one sister to anti-trans violence in Cleveland.

I'm also worried because of the Christmas holiday season's relentless joy-joy friends and family togetherness message, it can be a depressing time for those of us estranged from our families due to our gender issues. 

I've been there, as this short story post will tell you.

I wrote one of these posts back in 2010 along with a letter to Santa Claus , and one for my Black trans brothers and sisters across the African Diaspora in 2011.  The reason I probably didn't write that post last year was because I was distracted by all the so called end of the world chatter, missing Virginia trans teen Sage Smith, and exhaling after the POTUS won his second term in an electoral landslide by spanking Mittbot 2012.

With 2013 being a rough year for our chocolate trans community in terms of us losing 12 people during this last TDOR cycle, and us getting off to a less than wonderful start for the 2013-2014 TDOR cycle, I saw the need to revisit the topic.

So if I were given the power to magically grant all these Christmas wishes for the benefit of my Black trans* brothers and sisters here and across the Diaspora, what would I wish for?

Hmm..Let me start with missing trans teen Sage Smith being returned home.  

Unshakeable pride in being trans men and women, a history we can point to, and strong role models to emulate.

Laverne Cox's acting career to continue to blow up in the wake of her breakout role in Orange Is the New Black.   Janet Mock's book Redefining Realness hitting the New York Times Best Seller List    

Carter Brown and the brothers of Black Transmen, Incorporated continue to see steady growth and establish more chapters of the organization across the country, the BTWI sister org start to see the same, and the Black Trans Advocacy Conference April 29-May 4 in Dallas be even more off the chains successful than BTAC 2013 was.  

That Kylar Broadus be joined in his Capitol Hill trans policy and lobbying efforts by an LGBT or Black civil rights organization FINALLY hiring and keeping on the payroll for longer than six months a Black trans woman.

Tona Brown have a breakout moment of her own in 2014 similar to Laverne's along with every other trans musician in the community.

KOKUMO have an even bigger crowd for TGIF 2014.

Dr. Kortney R. Ziegler's efforts to refine and expand Trans*H4CK are megasuccessful in 2014

A Black transperson running for and winning public office in the 2014 election cycle for the first time since Althea Garrison did so in Massachusetts in 1992.

Black parents on this side of the 49th parallel loving and supporting their trans children like Tracey is being supported in Canada by hers. 

No more transphobic hatred being peddled by the Black gossip blogosphere aimed at Black trans people.

Black transpeople in North America continuing to reach out to our trans brothers and sisters internationally across the African Diaspora
 
Trans human rights laws that include airtight public accommodations language and the ability to inexpensively change your documentation without requiring expensive surgical intervention. 

Universal single payer heath care that covers trans medical issues. 

Our historic civil rights organizations, churches, and political leaders finally realizing that Black trans lives matter and stepping up to the plate to include us at the policy making table. 

School districts that have anti-bullying policies that have gender identity and expression language in them so our trans kids can graduate from high school and head to college.

Transkids being able to go to school without drama or being bullied by grown azz haters or their peers..

Fallon Fox to win a few WMMA bouts and do so without  people hatin' on her.

HBCU's adding gender identity language to their non-discrimination policies and non-discrimination statements and opening LGBT centers on their campuses.

A job at good wages for every trans person that wants one.

A Black trans community with infrastructure, fully funded service agencies that last longer than the founder's lifetimes.


Respect and love for our elders and each other.

An end to my transsisters dying here and across the Diaspora.


I think that's a nice start.   Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Y'all!

What I'm Thankful For In 2013

At this moment I'm chilling at my mom's house and probably have a turkey wing (left side) stuck in my mouth along with the other food Mom and my sis Latoya prepared for me, the family and friends who stop by the house to scarf it up on this day and spend time with us. 

When I sit down for a moment and peruse it, I do have a lot of things and blessings to be thankful for in 2013.  The obvious ones are I'm still standing 6 feet above my beloved Texas soil and I'm in reasonably good health.  I could stand to lose a few pounds, but whose counting calories on this day and on the upcoming Festival of Conspicuous Consumerism (Christmas Day) when it takes place in just 28 days?

I'm thankful for my award winning and internationally read blog that has garnered over 5.2 million hits since I started it on New Year's Day 2006.   It has provided me with a powerful platform to express myself, get things done, advocate for positive change and uplift a people who need it. 

I'm thankful for everyone who showers me with love on this day and every day.  I'm thankful that you emphatically let me know you have my back and sincerely want to see me become the best person I can be. I'm thankful to the people who not only expand my cognitive horizons, expose me to new ideas and ways to think about things, but respectfully challenge my world views so that I don't slide into as my little sis Jordana calls it, 'lazy thought' territory.

I'm thankful for my cis sisters who have opened their hearts and their arms wide to welcome me into the sisterhood over the last 19 years.  Many you have given me a swift kick in the butt when I needed it over the years, helped me along my own evolutionary path to womanhood, as my homegirls (and you know who you are) pushed me to be better and helped me become the quality Black woman I want and continue to seek to be.   

I'm thankful I have the love and respect of my trans community.  You let me know when I'm out and about whether interacting with you in person, at TBLG community events, on college campuses, in our phone or chat conversations or at conferences how much you appreciate the fighting I've done for trans human rights on our behalf since 1998

I'm thankful to you trans brothers who showered me with love in Dallas and have continued to do so post-BTMI as I observe your evolution into becoming the leaders and men we knew you were capable of becoming.  

I'm thankful that Barack Obama is still our president until 2017, Wendy Davis and Leticia Van de Putte are running for governor and lieutenant governor of Texas next year and Annise Parker is Houston's mayor until 2016.  
 
I'm even thankful for my haters, who know who they are.  Y'all motivate me to do the things you say I can't do, be the person you say I can't be, and despite you  actively working to oppose my efforts to accomplish those tasks, I still rise.

So yes, I have a lot to be thankful for today and in the remaining days of 2013.  I hope 2014 is even better..

Texas Is Not Just For Conservative White People

They'll say that little old Leticia Rosa San Miguel Van de Putte from the barrio will never become Lieutenant Governor. And they'll say that even though they're going after the Hispanic vote. Well, take my word for it, since I'm an actual Hispanic: you can't successfully fight for the Hispanic vote unless you're willing to fight for Hispanic families.
--Sen. Leticia Van de Putte 

Well, it's official.  After that Saturday announcement speech in San Antonio which Sen. Leticia Van de Putte blistered the Republicans who have had a stranglehold on this state's politics for 20 years too long, she traveled up I-35 to Austin yesterday to file the paperwork to officially run for lieutenant governor of Texas!

For the first time in my birth state in a long time, we have some terrific candidates with name recognition at the top of the Democratic ticket that literally scare the crap out of Texas Teapublicans.  Sen Wendy Davis and Sen. Leticia Van de Putte are a glaring contrast to the same old same old failed GOP white male neo-fascist leadership.    In the GOP primaries for governor and lieutenant governor there are multiple candidates jockeying to see who can do the best job of pandering to the most extreme elements of their GOP base while ignoring the fact that Texas is not of, by and for conservative White people. 

There's 26.1 million people in the Lone Star State, and those of us on the liberal-progressive side also love the 268,581 sq. miles of territory and the diverse cities we call home.  Some of those 26.1 million Texans happen to be trans, bi, lesbian and gay and love this state as much as you cisgender straight people do. 

Contrary to the charge du jour being flung around in Texas conservafool circles that we liberal-progressive Texans want this state to be California, that is categorically false.   

We want Texas to be BETTER than California.  

We like to brag that our state is the biggest and best at everything we do, but with you Republicans running it into the ground for the last 20 years we definitely can't make that claim anymore.

We're tired of seeing our roads and infrastructure crumbling, the billions being taken out of public schools, the GOP Culture Wars on women, the poor, the middle class, non-white Texans, immigrants and the TBLG community. We're tired of seeing the 'bidness' friendly policies and pay-to-play politics that lead to lax regulation, workers dying in plant explosions and our air getting more polluted by the day in GOP Texas.

We BTLG Texans are also tired of being your Teapublican political punching bags so you can keep your grip on power.  We're punching back 

You're fearful of the bitter political backlash your conservafool policies that attack anyone that is non-white or not a rich white male in this state have engendered amongst all liberal-progressive Texans.  You GOP peeps know your failed conservative policies aren't working and no amount of FOX Noise and conservative talk radio chatter or spin can cover that up.

While you Republican pols make it harder for non-white people and perceived liberal voters to cast ballots to kick you out of office, all you do is piss us off and make us more determined to do so.

LVP was right in her speech.  This is about what type of Texas we are going to leave to our kids, grandkids, nieces and nephews.  And I'm all about at this point making sure that my nieces and nephews have a progressive Texas to grow up, live and work in like I did until 1994..

And yeah, you conservafools need to be scared because I'm not happy either with how things have transpired in my home state since that date. 

I'm also one of the African-American Texans you Republicans pissed off because of that voter suppression law.  I'm pissed because it not only has taken me over 5 months to get my TDL, because of that bull feces I missed the 2013 mayoral election in my hometown. 

That's okay, my political revenge will be served up at the voting booth next November.  I also know time and demographics are on my side. It's past time for Texas to go back to its progressive political roots and I'm looking forward to being part of the voting coalition that will make that a reality.  

Texas has been a majority-minority population state since 2009, and despite your political machinations, corporate money, gerrymandering and obfuscations, Texas will eventually turn purple and back to blue.

And as people wake up to the reality that 'proven conservative leadership' is code for 'let's screw stuff up and blame it on the Democrats', and those scare tactics don't work on anybody but your bamboozled sheeple, reality based Texans who want our government to solve problems and efficiently run the Lone Star State will put people in charge of our state government who don't hate government like you Teapublicans do.  

It's past time the Lone Star State's politics and governmental policy priorities reflected that.

Texas is not just of, by and for conservative White people.  But you'll find that out soon enough. 

Trans Younglings, Imagine Growing Old, Not Dying Young

Was perusing my Facebook wall and noticed a post from a young African-American trans person in which she expressed her joy about turning 24 next month.  What saddened me and motivated me to write this post is that she admitted that if you'd asked her ten years ago, she didn't think she would live to see that age.

While she cried about the prospect of reaching her upcoming 24th birthday on December 7,  I was saddened to hear that to the point of shedding tears that too many of our young people believe they won't reach that age.   

And that dynamic needs to change.

Growing up I looked forward to milestone birthdays.  I eagerly looked forward to turning 18 because you were not only considered to legally be an adult, it signified that I could finally vote in elections.  You could also at the time of my 18th birthday in 1980 legally drink at the time in Texas.

I also looked forward to my 21st birthday as well.  

There was also a meme going around at the time that one in four Black male children would not live to see their 30th birthday.  Maybe it was my Taurus stubborn streak talking, but I was determined to not give in to such defeatist thinking. 

I not only made it my mission to be around God willing for my 30th birthday in 1992, but wanted to see the dawn of the 21st century and the year 2000 eight years later.  

I wanted to make it to my 40th, 50th, 60th and 70th birthdays in addition to being the best Moni I can be.  

As someone who works hard to push trans human rights forward, I want to see the results of this hard work I and countless others are doing to plant those civil rights trees for you trans younglings.  I have to be alive to not only do the work, but see those trans civil rights trees take root and grow as a result of that work. 

I make the choices and attempt to do my best to not put myself in negative situations that could result in a premature end to my life.  Sometimes stuff and life events happen that are beyond your control and you have to make snap decisions as you're in the moment that could have an impact positively or negatively on your life.  But the things I can control, I try my best to do so.
 

But that doesn't mean I cut all fun out of my life either.  Ask the peeps who were at the 2012 OUT on the Hill how good my dancing abilities are.    I did my share of partying back in the day and mass consumption of alcohol.  But I also strove to never put myself in the position of being so drunk that I didn't know what zip code I was in.  If I did get drunk, I either slept it off at a trusted friend's house or did so with a designated driver beside me in the club to drive my drunk behind home when we left.


I'm also cognizant of my surroundings, a quality that's even more important as someone navigating society in a feminine body.  I learned once that failure to be aware of that at all times or an ill timed lapse in judgment can result in bodily injury, sexual assault or death.   TDOR's remind me every year that we do have people who irrationally hate us enough to kill us.

Trans younglings, all the slings and arrows and trans hate we expose ourselves to is ultimately for your benefit.  Hell, it does me or no one else any good to fight for the trans human rights laws and policies this community needs if you second decade of the 21st century transwomen or the ones behind you aren't around to enjoy their benefits because you have this misguided belief you won't live to see 30. 

We want you to be able to live your lives to their full potential and make your most expansive dreams come true. But that can't happen if you're not walking on this plane of existence to do so or you robbed this community of your future greatness and talents because you took your life while going through a depressingly rough patch in it.

Getting to be my age is a wonderful, constantly evolving experience.  I enjoy being the mentor for you I didn't have.  There is life beyond age 24.  Life for transpeople is getting better.  It many not be changing as fast as we'd like, but there is ample visible evidence the arc of the moral universe is bending towards justice for trans people. Some of the things you're seeing today were in our wildest dreams territory for trans people when I transitioned in 1994 and we pushed this in conditions far more hostile than you see today.

And don't forget what we did trans human rights warriors did in the 90's-early 2k's was based on the struggles and work our sisters did like Christine Jorgensen, April Ashley, Coccinelle, and Phyllis Frye who put themselves in the public eye in the 50's, 60's, 70's and 80's.   They built on the work of the trans women who were at the Cooper's Donuts riots in LA, the 1965 Dewey's Lunch Counter Sit-In that occurred in Philly, the 1966 Compton's Cafeteria Riot and Sylvia Rivera and Marsha P Johnson at Stonewall in 1969.

What will life be like for transpeople in 2024?  2034?  2044?  2054?  Some of you reading this post may have the answer to that question. 

You may become the first trans governor of a state.  The trans doctor who comes up with a cure for cancer.  An astronaut who walks on Mars.   Perform at Carnegie Hall.   The next trans state legislator or first trans mayor of a major city.  Come up with the next great business idea that creates jobs for all of us.  Become the first trans Olympian.  When the medical technology develops to that point you may even be able to give birth to your own children should you desire that or even come up with the breakthroughs that make it happen.  You may even become the first trans president of the US, a US senator, a federal judge or congressmember.

You may witness the time when the TDOR's are no longer needed. 

But just like Cheryl Courtney-Evans, Miss Major, Tracie Jada O'Brien, Sharyn Grayson, Gloria Allen and others are around to be mentors to me and trans women of my Baby Boomer and beyond trans generations, and I am proudly mentoring your generation of trans women, you will inevitably get older and eventually be the mentors of the mid and late 21st century trans women now transitioning in the elementary, middle, high schools and colleges right now or just being born.    

But you have to be alive to live long enough to be able to properly mentor those trans younglings when the time comes for you to take on that role.   
 
So please trans younglings, be determined to live long fabulous lives.   Imagine growing old, not dying young.  It's also your best revenge to all the people who reviled you when you were younger to have a more happy and successful life than their miserable ones. 

TransGriot Note: Pics are Cheryl Courtney-Evans, me with Miss Major, Tracie Jada O'Brien, and Sylvia Rivera.

Happy Trans National Holiday 2013!

Happy Trans National Holiday, or what the rest of you cisgender peeps recognize as Halloween. 

It's what I sometimes call this day because of the drag balls that used to happen in Chicago, New York, New Orleans and even here in Houston that drew attendance in the hundreds and thousands and were eagerly anticipated events. . 

It's also the one day on the calendar except during Mardi Gras when society doesn't trip about gender bending costumes, female illusionists or trans people walking the streets.

It's the rest of the year that's the problem. 

Before I transitioned I used to eagerly circle this day on the calendar and assemble what I was going to wear, and what LGBT clubs in Montrose I was going to hit with the efficiency of Gen Schwartzkopf planning Desert Storm.

It's probably why post transition I'm not as into the Trans National Holiday as I used to be before 1994. 

It's raining here in H-town as I compile this post, and I hope it slacks off so the kids can at least go out and get their trick-or-treating done. Then again, maybe I don't because it's Thursday night, and y'all know what show comes on tonight. 

Note to you in H-town, if you ring my doorbell after 9 PM CDT in search of candy,  it won't be answered because I'll be munching on leftover candy, writing when the mood hits me and watching Scandal. 

Speaking of writing, here's some of my past TransGriot Halloween themed scribblings for your perusal.


As for the big kids, my homegirl Vanity Wilde already held her annual Halloween party last weekend. 

She probably still has her transformations business locale  decorated in spooktactular fashion for tonight.

I suspect since it is Trans National Holiday, she's going to be busy working her makeover magic on all her clients who booked her today so they can put their gender best foot forward later tonight.     

So if the TransGriot were going out tonight in costume, who would she be dressed as? 

My top five would be Olivia Pope, our FLOTUS, a supermodel, Miss Universe and a WNBA ballplayer.

That's a thought for next year.  The costume stores are cleaned out at this point and  I have every intention of being on the couch tonight and chilling as I wait for the latest episode of my fave show to start.

But for those of you who are going out tonight as your fave characters or your true selves, Happy Trans National Holiday!  

Still Miss Y'all, Louisville!

Ever since I accompanied by Polar back in May 2010 drove the moving van onto that I-65 south entrance ramp to eventually end up 1000 miles later back here in Houston to close that chapter of my life, I have yet to return to the Louisville metro area.   Had a few nibbles of interest in the area concerning some speaking engagements in the area or attempts to bring me back for visits that fizzed out,but for the most part it's been close but no quality time in Louisville.

If or when it does happen, I know I'm going to be busy just squeezing in visits with all the people who want to see me when I do return

But every now and then thoughts, events, Facebook photos, UK or U of L games or comments form people in the area trigger memories of the overall pleasant nearly nine years I was a resident of the state. 

I was watching the Louisville-UCF game and thinking about the numerous times I was on the U of L  campus to participate in various events.  I think about those lobby events in Louisville and Frankfort I got to participate in and some of the funny and not so funny moments that happened during those times.

I ponder the many runs up and down I-64 to Lexington and back or up and down I-65 to Indianapolis and Nashville.  I think about the long list of people I met there who became and I still call my friends along with my chosen family that still lives inside I-265.

And this picture Dawn sent me jogged even more memories and this post as we get closer to Halloween   

Grinstead Ave where I used to live is just a few short blocks away from Hillcrest Ave.  Every Halloween for over 20 years the homeowners on that street between Frankfort Avenue and Brownsboro Rd in the Crescent Hill neighborhood would decorate their houses for the occasion.   Some of the decorations were political, others fit the Halloween theme and it drew people from all over the Louisville area to come see them..

One of my favorite houses on that stretch was Dante's Disco Inferno, in which the homeowner installs a working lighted disco dance floor, has mirrored disco balls in the trees and played 70's disco music with tombstones and half buried records surrounding it as people dance to their favorite disco tunes.

That picture rekindled some fond memories of walking up and down the street with all the costumed kids happily in search of candy or happy they get to be their fave character for the night.

There were others on the Trans National Holiday also dressing up for the night, but that's another story.  

Yeah Louisville, just in case you're wondering, I still miss y'all too.   

I Don't Want Tolerance

Tolerance according to the dictionary definition of the word is 'the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with.'  

When that word is used in conjunction with discussing the human rights of transgender people, I do believe it's problematic on some levels. 

If your goal as a cis person is to simply tolerate transpeople, then you aren't inclined or motivated to do the work necessary go beyond a Trans 101 level of understanding about our lives and the issues we face.  If you think your religious faith trumps our lives, you will act in transphobic ways that aren't in lockstep with the tenets of your faith.   Tolerance leads to the unjust situation trans people find themselves in remaining a deadly societal status quo for us. 

I don't want tolerance. I want the same first class citizenship that you demand for yourself.  I want recognition from you that I am living my life, not a 'lifestyle'.   I want you to hear me and my transbrothers and transsisters when we say we are the men and women you see when we are out and about in the world and take it at face value when we talk about how we live our authentic lives.

I don't want tolerance.  I want you to have a crystal clear understanding that transpeople are part of the diverse mosaic of human life and our existence isn't subject to a debate by transphobic cis people. I'm tired of cis folks demonizing my people, writing anti-trans hate speech on your websites and broadcasting incendiary rhetoric on your YouTube channels and television and radio stations that gets African-American and Latina #girlslikeus severely beaten or killed   Any attempt to dehumanize us from this day forward will be met with swift, unrelenting and unyielding determination to set the record straight.   

I don't want tolerance. Our trans existence is not a vehicle for vanillacentric privilege wielding TERF's to turn failed disco era transphobic second wave feminist hate speech into new book sales in a desperate attempt to remain relevant in the second decade of the 21st Century. 

I don't want tolerance.  I'm looking for acceptance of the emerging reality that our trans lives are not fodder for transphobic cis people who think the best way to score political points and fundraise for their failing right wing causes is to engage in a morally bankrupt War on Transwomen.  Neither is it an opportunity for alleged Christians to pimp faith-based hatred of transpeople from the pulpit because they are losing the culture war against the gay and lesbian community and think we're an easy target.  

I don't want tolerance.  My human rights as a trans person shouldn't be subject to a vote by cis people who hate me or so-called gay and lesbian allies who have no problem throwing us under the bus to advance their own human rights cause.  You scream bloody murder about your liberty and pursuit of happiness and freedom as enunciated in the Declaration of Independence being impeded, but have no problem engaging in actions that restrict mine and the trans community's opportunities to experience the same freedom and liberty you demand for yourself.

And for that you should be ashamed of yourselves.

I don't want tolerance  I want acknowledgment from society that my humanity and human rights as a trans person living in this country are non-negotiable. 

Moni's Coming Out Story

Been reading a lot of people's coming out stories today, so thought I would have you TransGriot readers jump into the DeLorean Time machine and take a trip back in time to my own coming out story.  

I not only came out as trans in April 1994, but the initial stages of it happened in the middle of Houston Intercontinental Airport's Terminals C and D.

It was like transitioning in the middle of a fishbowl.  At the time we had 30,000 people per day transiting that IAH hub airport, I worked the gates and I was the topic du jour on CNN (Continental News Network, Monispeak for the company gossip mill)

I handled it the only way I could by basically busting my butt at work getting my flights out on time, delivering outstanding customer service and treating people with the same dignity and respect I expected to be reciprocally treated with.. 

In between those flights, for the next three months I had Trans 101 conversations with my coworkers in my department, Maintenance, Inflight, Flight Ops, the Houston Airport Police officers I was in contact with, the support personnel who worked there and anyone else who wanted to know stuff about trans issues except the 'who am I sleeping with' question.

Some of the conversations I had with my co-workers led to some interesting revelations and insights. I had two emotional meetings during that early coming out period with Jessica Starnes, our trans pilot who was based in EWR at the time.  The other emotional one was with Gloria Villar, one of my fellow employees I worked on the gates with.  She later transferred to IAH Inflight and came out as part of the lesbian community.  I let her know at the time she came out I had her back, and now she let me know she had mine.

I  had the support of some caring coworkers and friends in the Houston community. I was challenged by Maxine Farrington, Deborah Murray-Hill, Karen Miles, several other female co-workers and my mentors to become the best person I could be. They role modeled in their own lives what they expected of me and I hope I more than exceeded their expectations. I also had many people that I looked to at IAH and elsewhere in my life for inspiration, wisdom and guidance as I embarked on this new chapter in my life.

There were also some bumps along the way and some humorous moments as I got adjusted to living life in a Black female body and all the other stuff good and bad that goes with it.

I made it through the initial nerve wracking day and eventually the week. Then I made it through the month. Then the next month.   Before I knew it an amazing year had passed and I haven't looked back.

So if I can come out as trans and transition in the middle of an international airline terminal, what's holding you back?

Many of you know the rest of the story.  I eventually became an activist in 1998, helped start a trans rights organization in 1999 called NTAC and was its first political director. 

In 2001 I became a Texan in Exile in Louisville for almost nine years, sat on the Fairness Campaign and C-FAIR boards while I was there, was the keynote speaker for the inaugural 2202 TDOR in Louisville and the 2003 edition of Louisville TDOR among other things.  I won the IFGE Trinity Award in 2006 and started some little award winning blog called TransGriot.  I was a member of the first ever all trans panels in 2012 at Netroots Nation and OUT on the Hill and was honored by BTMI in March with an advocacy award named after me. . 

I am one very happy for the most part camper who is comfortable in her skin and is enjoying her evolutionary feminine journey.  And yes, I'm still a huge sports fan. 

Now if I could just stop wandering the dating Sinai, everything would be gravy.

Black Community Issues Are Black Trans Issues

I have repeatedly said on this blog that Black trans issues are Black community issues.  I'm going to flip the script in this post and point out that Black community issues are Black trans issues, too.

When the unjust Zimmerman verdict was read I like just about every African-American in this country was outraged about it and I showed up at the July 14 rally at City Hall along with other Houstonians pissed off about it as well.

While I was there I decided since the organizers of the rally were offering the people gathered there a chance to speak, I would do so not only on behalf of myself but for the Houston trans community.

The people gathered in front of Houston City Hall that day also needed to see a trans person who shared their heritage.  They now know because I stood up and proclaimed my trans status to that gathering and talked about the issues that united us that day that Black trans people are also concerned about the issues of the day that affect the Black community we are intertwined with.

It was interesting to note that when I was done, I had a few people buttonholing me afterward asking if I was going to run for office here in H-town.   We'll see.

Before anyone who doesn't know my trans history (unless they read this blog or see my Twitter feed or Facebook page) gets to the point of finding out about that part of my life, all they have to go on is my skin color and my gender presentation.   

My transition almost 20 years ago did not change the fact that I'm a proud African-American, nor does being trans mean I gave up my Black card.  I still have to deal with people hating me because of that Black skin with the anti-trans hatred being thrown in as a bonus.  

I also don't have the luxury of separating my trans status from my Blackness.  They are the same.  .

The point is as a Black person, voter suppression laws aimed at the Black community affect me in two ways.  The first is voting while Black.  The second is mismatched ID because of laws (or the lack of them) making it difficult for trans people to easily change their documentation to match the person they are projecting to the world now.  That can affect mine and other trans people's ability to vote when the voter ID voter suppression laws are requiring state issued ID's to go with your voter registration cards and requiring forms of ID like passports that cost money to acquire for people facing 26% unemployment. 

Stop and Frisk is another issue that affects us.  Many of the people disproportionately messed with by the NYPD were trans African-American and trans Latina women who in the infallible wisdom of NYPD officers were soliciting for prostitution.  If they had more than one condom on them, were arrested for it.

Trayvon Martin being killed also affects the trans community.  It has me concerned that one day this scenario could play out and result in one of our trans men being killed or wounded because of some armed bigot who mistook him as 'a threat' instead of a fellow human being.

Because we trans people are an interconnected part of the Black community, the issues that affect the entire community in general also affect us.  The sooner the Black community recognizes that fact, the better it will be for all of us so we can collectively deal with what ails Black America.
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