I Repeat: We Live Trans Lives, Not A 'Lifestyle'

"I get tired of hearing that being transgender is a 'lifestyle'. Too many times in the GLBT community we help buttress that conservaspin in our own writings, conversations, and media interviews as a shorthand code for talking about being GLBT."-TransGriot,  July 30, 2008 
One thing that grates on my ears like nails on a chalkboard is hearing some trans person use the conservaword 'lifestyle' to describe our trans lives. 

I've been saying this point for over a decade now and looks like once again I need to 'ejumacate' some peeps in my own community why saying 'lifestyle' is problematic as hell.

What drove me to write this post is Amiyah Scott's recent May 25 Twitter comment.

I’m a black trans woman and it really fucks me up that the community I stand for 1st puts me last. Majority of the hate I see comes from my own people. I’m BLACK before anything else and even if you don’t understand my lifestyle, you should respect me for that if nothing else.

6:59 PM - 25 May 2019

While I applaud much of what Scott said in her comment and have much love for her , what ruined that tweet for me was that 'lifestyle' word in there.

I repeat to Amiyah and 'errbody' else in Black Trans World.   We do NOT live a trans 'lifestyle'.  We live trans lives.

'Lifestyle' is the shady slur word that our evilgelical oppressors spit at us when they gleefully roll back our human rights .  It implies that being trans is a choice, which i certainly the hell isn't.

The only choices in being trans happen when we come out to the world and live life as the fabulous trans people that God created us to be. 

And yeah, I'm unapologetic about being Black, trans and being my fab shining like a diamond self. 

So stop doing the evilgelicals work for them and do your part to expunge the word 'lifestyle' from your vocabulary when we are discussing our fabulous trans lives. 

We don't live a trans 'lifestyle'.  We live trans lives.

My Muhlaysia Booker Post Funeral Thoughts

I traveled to Dallas on Memorial Day with Dee Dee Watters and Diamond Stylz to represent BTAC and the Black Transwomen .Inc (BTWI) board at Muhlaysia Booker's wake and funeral 

While I was being interviewed by CNN and having a TV camera follow us upon our arrival in Dallas, I did take a moment on the nearly 4 hour drive up from Houston to ponder this latest trans death.

There were things about it that were maddeningly familiar, and some that felt different this time.

Let's start with the familiar stuff.   Muhlaysia was at the time the fourth trans woman to die due to anti-trans violence in 2019.    She was just 22 years old and as we already depressingly know, a Black trans  woman.  She was also like someone else y'all know from Texas, unapologetic about it.

To add to the pain we were already feeling in Dallas, in Philadelphia and across Black Trans America, just before Dee Dee, Diamond and I headed up I-45 to be at Muhlaysia's wake and funeral came the news about Paris being killed in Detroit that Saturday.

Six Black trans women this year.  Four in the month of May alone.   We were also here in Dallas a year after Carla Pavon had been murdered a few miles from where the Cathedral of Hope sits

But this one felt different as well.   The last time I attended a funeral for one of our slain trans siblings was back in 2008 when I was living in Louisville.   That particular funeral was deeply personal because I knew Nakhia Williams and we worked for the same local security company.

Despite being active in trans rights work for a decade at the time, I wasn't as well known nationally as a trans advocate as I am now when walked into that funeral home and the Cathedral of Hope the next day.   TransGriot was only two years old at the time. 

This funeral had international news coverage, in large part because of the viral video of Muhlaysia being assaulted after a traffic accent just a month ago.   This funeral was attended by Dallas Mayor Mike Rawlings and Dallas council members Omar Narvaez and Adam Medrano

We had people that came from New Orleans and Washington  to be in attendance.in addition to her Dallas and Texas trans family showing up and showing out in terms of their support for Muhlaysia and her family.

It was also nice to find out some interesting personal details about Muhlaysia.    She was an Eagle Scout.  We discovered that when members of her former scout troop showed up at the funeral home to pay their respects to her.   She was fun loving  and well liked by members of the Dallas trans community and people in Oak Cliff neighborhood.

Her mother told us that while Muhlaysia didn't like starting fights, she had no problem finishing them.

During the resolutions phase of the funeral, proclamations were read from Texas state Senator Royce West (D-Dallas), the city of Dallas, and the Texas House of Representatives from House Rep Jessica Gonzales (D-Dallas)    A few days earlier, Muhlaysia Booker's name had been spoken from the US House floor by Rep. Marc Veasey (D-Ft Worth)

It reminded me as I was sitting there listening to those resolutions being read, that the Texas Lege had gone sine die the day before.   HB 1513, which would have added trans Texans to the James Byrd Hate Crimes Act, was one of the bills that died when it was left pending in the House Criminal Jurisprudence Committee after an April 29 hearing in which I and other trans Texans pointed out why it needed to be passed.

Our sister Muhlaysia is now with the ancestors.   It's up to us left here to make certain that when the 2021 Texas legislative session kicks off, we do everything possible to add trans Texans to the Byrd Hate Crimes Act.    We also must ensure that the wastes of DNA who killed her are also brought to justice.

Indya, Black Trans Women Are EXACTLY What I Said They Were

One of my jobs as a trans elder and leader with 21 years in the trans rights movement is to unapologetically speak truth to power., even to loud and wrong people in my own community

Monica Roberts‏ @TransGriot

Tweaking a famous Malcolm X quote. “The most disrespected woman in America is the Black trans woman. The most unprotected woman in America is the Black trans woman. The most neglected woman in America is the Black trans woman.”

11:16 AM - 9 May 2019

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I recently posted a comment on my Twitter and Facebook feeds on the morning of May 9 that remixed the famous Malcolm X statement about Black women by simply inserting the word 'trans'  in it.

Seems that Indya Moore in the wake of me posting that Twitter and Facebook comment, posted this problematic one on her social media.

Nope sibling, you're mistaken, and as a longtime leader and award winning writer, time for me to drop the receipts backing up what I posted on my social media.    I'm a huge fan of POSE, and already have my calendar marked for the June 11 premiere of Season 2 of the show.

And before I get started, if you want to know who I am, Google my name, become one of my 16.5K followers on Twitter or ask your POSE producer Janet Mock.

Who I am Mx Moore in addition to being unapologetically Black and trans, is the person who has been tracking the murders of Black trans women for much of the 13 year history of my GLAAD award winning blog.   That's more than half of your entire lifespan on planet Earth. 

Last year there were 25 trans people killed in the US.   Of those 25 people, 19 of them were Black.  18 of those 19 Black people killed were Black trans women.   Only one was trans/GNC and it's still a question mark about whether Nino Fortson actually identified that way.

I just recently returned from my fifth trip to my state capitol of Austin to testify in favor of HB 1513, a bill that would add gender identity and expression to our Texas James Byrd Hate Crimes Act.    That testimony in favor of the bill happened mere days after two Black transpeople, Muhlaysia Booker and Keir Rice were assaulted in Dallas and Killeen, TX respectively five days apart.

The reason I made that trip is because back in the 1999 and 2001 Texas legislative sessions when I was a rookie activist and this bill was proposed, trans people were cut out of it.

Trans people being cut out of human rights legislation they needed to be included in was a sad and sorry part of the 'incremental progress' legislative mantra that lesbian and gay led orgs practiced in the late 20th- early 21st century.   While that's starting to change, sometimes the old habits because of internalized TBLGQ community transphobia still die hard.

But the damage that has been done to trans people because of the incremental progress strategy is real.  34 states can fire you just for being trans.   We have people in the Black cis community who visit violence upon us because they believe they won't be severely punished for it.

GENDA just got passed in New York after a 15+ year battle precipitated by the fact that trans folks were cut out of the SONDA bill in violation of a deathbed promise made to Sylvia Rivera in 2005 that cutting trans people out of the legislation wouldn't happen

We  just had another Black trans woman shot in suburban Memphis on Thursday.   Back in January in my Houston hometown, I had a Black trans woman shot at point blank range three times in broad daylight at a gas station that is a mile from the part of Houston where I live.

And don't even get me started talking about Black trans women being banned from joining Zeta Phi Beta, a Divine Nine sorority, or the anti-trans agenda of the Trump misadministration aimed squarely at trans folks that will disproportionately impact trans people of color, and especially Black trans women.

Indya, there is overwhelming evidence that what I said in the remix of Brother Malcolm's statement is undeniably true in the Black trans woman being the most disrespected, most unprotected and most marginalized woman in America|

And I will sadly always be able to pull out receipts from multiple sources to back that statement up.

And yet, still we Black trans women rise to accomplish tremendous things for themselves and our Black community.

I am unapologetic about naming and claiming myself as a  Black trans woman.   While I realize that the Black trans community is not monolithic in its thinking, I am aware there are elements of it that push the narrative that GNC-non binary folks are people who wish to be trendy or they are ashamed to claim the trans label. 

Some Black trans peeps are asserting that GNC-non binary peeps are simply claiming trans status in order to elevate themselves at the expense of the trans folks who have been fighting in the movement trenches for over 60 years to have our humanity and human rights recognized.

While I personally reject that problematic line of thinking, it's still out there in elements of the community, and comments like the one you posted don't help that situation.

Mx Moore, you have the potential to become a leader in our community.  You have a platform provided by your visibility as a breakout star on POSE to reach millions. But with that platform comes great responsibility, and one of those responsibilities is not putting out problematic social media statements that can be easily debunked. 

You also as a social media influencer also have to be careful about the words you write, tweet or post

It's your call as to what evolutionary next steps you decide to take or decide what type of a leader you wish to be.

But Indya, Black trans women are exactly what I said they were in my May 9 statement, and it's up to all of us to do the work necessary to change that current paradigm. . 

Correction: Four Black Women Have Won Major Beauty Pageants In 2019

Been seeing the memes out there that have proudly pointed out that with only the Miss Universe pageant left to be conducted,  Black women in the US have won in succession the Miss Teen USA, Miss America and the Miss USA Universe pageants for the first time ever in the same calendar year.

Major props to 2019 Miss Teen USA winner Kaleigh Garris, Miss America 2019 Nia Franklin and Miss USA 2019 Cheslie Kryst for doing so.   They are all accomplished women and I'm exceedingly proud of all of them snatching crowns in the same calendar year.

Even more impressive, Miss Teen USA Kaleigh Garris did so while rocking a natural hair style.

But people are forgetting the fourth Black woman who also made history by winning a major beauty pageant title this year, and she did so back in March.

Jazell Barbie Royale became the first Black women to ever win the Miss International Queen trans pageant in Thailand.  Her accomplishment was just as historic as the pother women being celebrated, but once again when it comes to Black Trans excellence, the Black community sadly is ignoring it.

Let me repeat for y'all that Black trans women ARE Black women.   When we rise and excel at doing whatever we accomplish, so does the entire Black community.

So what if the Miss International Queen is a pageant for trans women?   No Black woman from the African Diaspora had ever won that pageant in its fifteen year history until this year, and it had been 2005 since the last American woman had won it.

So yes, I would like to see it acknowledged that FOUR Black women have won major pageant titles in the same year.   If no one else will acknowledge that fact, I damned sure will. 

The Trans Military Service Ban Is Unjust

While I was traveling back home to Houston yesterday from Minneapolis, it was keenly on my mind that oppression was being aimed once again by the Trump misadministration at the American trans community. 

Yesterday was the day that this malignant administration, egged on by Mike Pence, Tony Perkins and the white evilgelical wing of his party, banned transgender Americans from serving in the US military.

The pic of Carla Lewis and her famous shirt stuck with me as I jetted back to Houston via Dallas Love Field, where in just 10 more days I'll join my Black trans family for this year's edition of BTAC.

And note to the Black cis community, some of the transgender military peeps negatively affected by this ban are Black.

There are over 15,500 transgender people already serving in our military in all of its branches.  It is a bull feces laden excuse that it would 'cost too much' to cover trans medical care.  It costs $86 million annually to provide Viagra to the military.   Trans medical care would only cost $8 million.

The military chiefs . the AMA and countless other organizations have unfailing pointed out that transgender people serving in the US military doesn't harm military cohesion or readiness. 

This is just once again Trump kowtowing to the white evilgelicals and pushing transphobia for his own short term political gain.

And as far as the other lie goes that transgender troops would affect the 'lethality' of our military, the Israeli Defense Forces, one of the best in the Middle East, haven't had that problem and have had transgender troops serving in the IDF for over a decade.    Many of our NATO allies allow their transgender citizens to serve and have done so for decades

Didn't we already go through this BS with Jim Crow segregation that barred Black people from serving in combat roles?   The failed Don't Ask Don't Tell policy aimed at the LGB community?

The trans military ban is destined to go the same way.   But unfortunately a lot of people will be negatively affected by it before the unjust policy dies.

The April Fool's Joke Is In The White House

I have a TransGriot transition in which on April 1, I do a prank blog post as an April Fool's joke.

But no post I could come up with right now would match the orange idiot occupying the White House right now, his Republican party accomplices enabling him, the FOX Noise network that parrots his lies, and the white evilgelicals who support him to push their evil political agenda.

So until this racist fool and the GOP are defeated at the ballot box next year, April Fool's Day on this blog is cancelled.

We already have a joke for a POTUS, and he's an embarrassment to our country.

Happy Valentine's Day 2019

Today is Valentine's Day.  As has been the case for the last decade, I bought my own candy, have a bottle of wine and have a stack of DVD romantic comedies to watch to get me through this day.

I'm not mad at you peeps who are booed up and are spending this day being wined, dined, spoiled rotten and having flowers sent to your homes or jobs.   It just hasn't happened for me.

One of the things I did some hard solid thinking about before I made the decision 25 years ago to handle my transition business involved relationships.   In fact I'd just come out of a three year one, and was getting interest from another cis woman at the time I transitioned.

I knew that if I transitioned, there was the possibility that I would never get into another relationship ever again.   But the need to be authentic me trumped that.  I also started transition in 1994 with the plan to have at least a five year moratorium on any romantic entanglements until I got used to comfortably living life in a feminine body. 

Little did I anticipate that the five year relationship moratorium would stretch out to now 25 years.   It also didn't help that during this dating hiatus I was a bridesmaid in a friend's wedding in 2004.

As I like to say about my dating hiatus, I've been wandering the dating Sinai for so long that the booed up couples on their way to the dating Promised Land shake their head at me as they pass me by.  It's not that I intended to be single for this long.   Just haven't found the right person for me combined with other complications compounding it. 

I had one guy who was interested in me, but the price I would have paid to be in that relationship was too high for me.  I would have had to pull out of all activism and have zero contact with the trans community as long as we were together because he was on the trans dating down low. 

Y'all know what my two word answer to that request was.

There was also the brother when I lived in Louisville who was interested, but I discovered he was married.  Naw player, I'm a first round draft choice.   I'm nobody's sloppy seconds or undrafted free agent.  Neither am I going to be the side piece breaking up somebody's marriage and inviting that negative karma into whatever potential relationship I ended up in.

I thought about expanding my dating horizons, and have had two women so far approach me.  But as of yet, no one of any gender has stepped into my life that has rocked my world to the point I was head over heels in love with them.   Conversely, the people I have been interested in also turned out to already be taken or just not into me beyond friendship.

Yeah, I have relationship requirements.  Number one is no trans attracted men need apply who want to keep me as their secret lover.  You must be as unapologetic about dating trans women as I am about living my life.   If you're ashamed to show me off to your boys or your family, step.

I like going to restaurants, getting flowers and chocolate and to be spoiled on my Cuatro de Mayo birthday.   I like doing public stuff that requires you taking me out in daylight and early evening hours. 

I like going to sporting events. movies and museums.  I like bowling, miniature golf and shooting pool.  And yes, while I'm at those sporting events, if the ref makes a lousy call, they will hear it from me.

As an advocate, there will be times you will be a plus one for the community events, galas and fundraisers I get invited to.   I'm also a nationally and internationally recognized trans advocate.  If you can't handle the level of attention I get while I'm out and about, then maybe you should rethink stepping to me.

In a nutshell, I'm looking for quality, not quantity.  It's the way I've always ran my dating life, and transition didn't change that aspect of my personality.   But the reality is now I'm looking for love in a smaller dating pool, and as I get older, that pool continues to shrink.

If it happens for me, cool.  If it doesn't, I'll just continue focusing on making the world a better place for all the trans peeps behind me and rooting for you as you find your forever loves.

What Are Houston Black Trans Leaders Doing? Plenty

I understand there's some grousing going on with some peeps in the Houston Black trans community claiming that 'our leaders aren't doing anything' when it comes to the Pinky shooting.

That couldn't be further from the truth.   I actually heard about the shooting on Thursday while watching the 6 PM news.   Didn't find out the woman in question ABC13 was reporting on was trans until the Chronicle's initial transphobic spin on the report was published and it was relayed to me late Friday evening.

This post went up on TransGriot  in response to the problematic transphobic article and to alert the community (and the nation) as to what the facts were at the time I wrote it.   There were some erroneous comments we had to immediately correct that Pinky had been killed.

That initial TransGriot post has not only gone viral (and has over 10,000 hits as I write this), it was linked to by the Dallas Voice and OutSmart magazine where I write a monthly column.

While I ended up in front of a FOX 26 TV camera last night with Houston GLBT Caucus president Mike Webb on the Isiah Factor Uncensored,  it doesn't mean that nothing is happening or that those of us who are considered leaders in this Houston trans community are just twiddling our thumbs.

I'm coordinating with our media contacts.   Both of our HPD LGBT liaisons were in Detroit attending Creating Change when Pinky was shot on Thursday.  I just caught up with one of them on Tuesday afternoon.   They are waiting to talk to Pinky, who was unconscious until Sunday, to determine next steps in this case and to hear from her what happened.  The detective in the case is also waiting to talk to her as well.

Atlantis Narcisse, Dee Dee Watters, Diamond Stylz and Jessica Zyrie are also working behind the scenes in our different lanes to find out what happened    We had allies in TENT ED Emmett Schelling and Eric Edward Schell calling the Houston Chronicle to address the transphobic coverage.

Our colleagues at BLM-Houston are standing by.  Ana Andrea Molina and the trans Latinx community are ready to help along with our Latinx community allies.  Equality Texas is wanting to know what they can do to help.

So are our trans brothers and trans GNC siblings. People around the country are asking me and other Houston leaders what can they do to help Pinky.

But next steps for how we proceed are on hold until we can talk to Pinky.   Remember that she was shot three times at point blank range and is STILL sore from it.   One of the bullets hit close to her throat so she couldn't talk.

We want to give her a little space and time to recover a bit physically and emotionally.

HPD also wants this fool off the streets as quickly as possible.  Anyone who would indiscriminately fire a gun at someone at a crowded gas station is a menace to society that needs to sent to the nearest TDC corrections facility.   Our HPD liaisons EJ Joseph and Alexa Magnan along with the detectives on this case want to solve it as well.

You can help make that happen by relaying any information you have on this case to Crime Stoppers at 713-222-TIPS (8477) 

Sometimes activist work is tedious, multilayered and needs to happen behind the scenes, not in front of the unblinking eye of a camera.   If people in Houston Black Trans World were wanting us to head to City Hall and go off on Mayor Turner, the council, and HPD's command staff, not gonna happen. 

There are a lot of questions in this case we needed answers to before we take our next steps. 

One step we are planning is a Black trans town hall, with date and location to be determined

The thing that we can be most grateful for is that Pinky survived this horrific attack.   Next thing we all want is to get that waste of DNA who shot her off the streets and in jail as expeditiously as possible.  We want justice for Pinky. 

But there's a lot of work that needs to happen until those goals are accomplished.   

Happy 90th Birthday Rev. Dr Martin Luther King Jr

“Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable... Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals.” 
― Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Today also happens to be what would have been the 90th birthday of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King. Jr.  It is a birthday commemoration taking place as we also remember that this year marks the 400th anniversary of the arrival of the first enslaved Africans at Jamestown.

While Americans love them some Dr King today, he wasn't as well loved when he was assassinated 50 years ago.  He had just a 25% approval rating according to Gallup polls at the time, and was beginning to stress a message of economic empowerment.

During his extraordinary life, in addition to pushing for the human rights of Black Americans, he was also calling out the war in Vietnam and constructively criticizing this country to live up to the ideals that it enshrined in the Constitution. 

He also called on this country to do right by its Black citizens and make good on the human rights check marked insufficient funds. 

It's interesting to not that the January 21 MLK Day will be taking place as a racist president  has shut down the government and is holding 800,000 federal workers pay hostage because he can't get funding for his wall.

We're also regressing instead of progressing on human rights, voting rights and building the Beloved Community' that Dr King talked about in his speeches.

The 'Beloved Community' is a place not only free of injustice, but a society that actively promotes an ethic of love, justice, and humanity in its legal, political, and civic life, as well as its religious, spiritual, and moral spheres.

We definitely have some work to do to get to that point.  It is not going to be an easy or quick path to getting there, and the road to it will have some potholes we'll need to fill.

But we will, and we must get to that point as a society.

 Happy Birthday, Dr King.  .

Final List Of 2018 Trans Murders

It was probably the bloodiest year ever for Black trans and gender non conforming people in the US, who sadly are far and away the most likely trans people to die, followed by our trans Latina sisters.

We lost 19 Black trans people in 2018.   The youngest was just 18, the oldest at age 58

2018 US Trans Murders

Christa Lee Steele-Knudslien, 47, North Adams, MA
Vickky Gutierrez, 38, Los Angeles, CA
Zakaria Fry, 28,  Albuquerque, NM
Celine Walker, 38,  Jacksonville, FL
Tonya Harvey, 35, Buffalo, NY

Phylicia Mitchell, 45, Cleveland, OH
Amia Tyrae Berryman, 28, Baton Rouge, LA
Sasha Wall, 29, Chesterfield County, SC  
Carla Patricia Flores-Pavon, 26, Dallas, TX
Nino Fortson, 36, Atlanta, GA
Gigi Pierce, 28,  Portland, OR
Antasha English, 38, Jacksonville, FL
Diamond Stephens, 39, Meridian, MS

Catalina Christina James, 24, Jacksonville, FL
Keisha James, 58, Cleveland, OH
Sasha Garden, 27, Orlando, FL
Vontashia Bell, 18, Shreveport, LA
Dejanay Stanton, 24, Chicago, IL
Shantee Tucker, 30, Philadelphia, PA
Londonn Moore Kinard, 20, North Port, FL
Nikki Janelle Enriquez, 28, Laredo, TX
Ciara Minaj Carter Frazier, 31, Chicago, IL
Tydie Dansbury, 37, Baltimore, MD
Keanna Mattel,(Kelly Stough)  35, Detroit, MI
Regina Denise Brown, 53, Orangeburg, SC


2018 Trans Murders Stats Breakdown
Female 24-Male/GNC 1)

By Race
White-3   (3 female-0 male)
Latina-3   (3 female-0 male)
Black -19  (18 female-1 male/GNC)
Asian- 0
Native American- 0

By Age

50+  2
40-49  2

30-39  10
20-29  10
10-19- 1

This is unacceptable.  We need to have in 2019 a conversation followed by SUSTAINED action to reduce the number of Black trans people dying at the hands of Black men. 

And it's past time for Black legacy orgs like the NAACP to step up and lead instead of inactively sitting on the sidelines.   You silence is getting my people killed, and I'm tired of it. 

Frankly, all Black trans people are tired of the spectacle of the oldest civil rights organization in our community, pledged to uplift the lives of Black people, being outdone on this issue by HRC. 

It's pathetically sad that the Human Rights Campaign, which has had a contentious at times relationship with Black trans, bisexual and SGL people,consistently does what the NAACP won't in not only saying our Black trans names, but admitting there's a serious problem. 

This dynamic MUST change in 2019.