The Pain Brought By Joy Behar

TransGriot Note:  Guest Post from MAGNET"s Ashley Love from the Trans Forming Media blog. 

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Pain Brought By Joy: The Joy Behar Show’s Pattern of Transphobia & Ignorance Perpetuates Harm on Transsexual, Transgender & Intersex Americans. 

by Ashley Love- Founder of MAGNET- Media Advocates Giving National Equality to Transsexual & Transgender

Some of the problems Americans with a transsexual medical condition or a gender non-conforming (transgender) identity face are the defamatory media stereotypes and inaccurate education about them or their issues. Although trans issues have become more visible in recent years, many journalists and television and radio hosts continue to exclude experts from the transsexual and transgender communities in their coverage. Instead, they often rely on non-trans people (in this case, gay male pundits who are not transsexual) with little knowledge or insight of their issues. These pundits misrepresent transsexual and transgender people and perpetuate intolerant views of gender and biological diversity.

Last month The Joy Behar Show had two highly problematic shows concerning transsexuality and gender identity. Previously, Joy Behar also expressed transphobic sentiments on The View.

The first incident aired in late 2006. The hosts of The View (one of my favorite talk shows) were having a conversation concerning terminology used in the transsexual and transgender communities in which Joy Behar offensively blurted out "ewww...that's weird.” :

Then on The Joy Behar Show's November 10th, 2010 episode, the topic of discussion was the pejorative "tra**y" (an anti-transsexual woman slur). Shockingly, instead of inviting transsexual women on the show to express their feelings about this hate speech, invited instead were two unqualified and insensitive gay men (who are not trans). Radio host Michelangelo Signorile and author Greg Fitzsimmons discussed the misogynistic word with a condescending and non-affirming tone. For what reason would Behar’s producers have two gay men serve as “experts” about a slur associated with sexism and violence towards women, not men? Women can speak for themselves, thank you very much.

If the “N word” was used on TV to dehumanize a Black person, would Behar have Asian people on her show to discuss it? Or if someone in the media was using the pejorative “dyke” to dehumanize lesbian women, would Behar solely ask straight men their opinions? Trans leaders and the history of the LGB”T” movement testify that some in the gay and lesbian community are just as guilty of transphobia as non-trans straight people are, which is why it’s imperative that trans Americans be able to represent themselves.

This appropriation and lack of trans representation has stigmatizing results on the public’s perception of Americans with transsexualism. Transsexualism is a birth condition and medical challenge, and has absolutely nothing to do with sexual orientation. “Transgender” is a term used to describe a person's gender identity. Gender is a person's identity, the core essence of who that person is. Sexual orientation describes who a person is attracted to. They are totally different concepts.

When Behar asked if the “T word” was ever used as a "compliment", Signorile remarked "there's a club in San Francisco called 'Tra**y Shack’”. The Tra**y Shack is a sensationalist male drag queen show, with gay men performing a stage act. Comparing transsexualism to male drag queen camp is not only wrong, but it exists as stigmatizing propaganda that transsexual women are "extensions of gay men" and "female impersonators". This is called "trans face", where gay men imitate trans women in a mocking, over the top and degrading fashion. Signorile undermined trans women’s dignity in their affirmed gender realities.

In Behar’s defense, at least she disagreed with Signorile's shallow defense of the “T word”. She compared the use of the “T word” to racial slurs, arguing that it’s not for people who are not a part of the community a pejorative is aimed at to reclaim it. Well done Joy.

Days later, on the November 21 episode, Behar discussed Chaz Bono's transition as a transman in a segment called “Transgender In America.” He is the son of celebrities Sonny and Cher Bono. Although Chaz identifies and presents as male, Behar kept referring to him as “her” and “she.” This maligning language was extremely disrespectful to Chaz and to all transsexual and transgender people. Behar should, and does, know better.

This episode was compounded by yet another transphobic gay male pundit, Ken Corbett, who not only used improper pronouns, but expressed his unscientific opinion that Chaz is unauthentic in his gender. Behar should have had a medical doctor or affirming psychologist trained in the facts pertaining to the transsexual birth challenge or gender identity issues, not a self-loathing gay man who resents the trans community because they bring up his insecurity of diverse gender expression.

Some discriminated against people feel the need to mimic their oppressors by oppressing others who have less social acceptance then they do. That’s clearly the behavior that Corbett was displaying in his invalid comments about trans people.

There are apologists who believe criticizing Behar’s irresponsibility and offensive content is unwarranted. Certain people in marginalized minority groups are so accustomed to the abuse and belittlement cast on them by mainstream society that they begin to be grateful for insults candy coated in advocacy. Some gay people accused trans activists who expressed their disappointment with Behar’s behavior of “unfairly crucifying Behar”.

Isn’t that something? Trans people speak out against the dehumanizing media that is hurting them and in return they get attacked and called “crucifiers”. This is a protection tactic in which those being legitimately criticized decline to take responsibility for their actions and instead attack those justly seeking accountability.

No, we will not say thank you for crumbs or the backs of your hand!

One gay man I interviewed protested the trans community’s uproar, saying: “…but Behar is a great LGBT ally”. Wrong. Behar is a great “LGB” ally. Adding the “T” in the acronym in this instance is inaccurate. Just because someone supports gay and lesbian people authentically and consistently does not necessarily mean they are equally enthused about assisting the trans community. Trans people are more misunderstood, feared and oppressed in society than gay and lesbian people, which is why some gay advocates do not always choose to be trans advocates.

What is hypocritical is that Behar consistently discusses feminist issues, yet participates in alienating oppressed women born with a birth challenge. If feminism is for liberation and equality for all women, then by invalidating trans women’s gender, she is not authentically being a feminist. To frame it in an Orwellian “Animal Farm” context, some women should not be treated “more equal” than other women.

Behar used to be a teacher- yet an ethical, professional approach to presenting such misunderstood content is to conduct unbiased, balanced research. As a news presenter, one would assume she or her staffers would do basic Trans 101 research before presenting such misleading ideas on the air. Even the Associated Press Association opposes Behar’s improper use of pronouns. She has a Bachelor of Arts in Sociology, so I’m sure she has learned that the oppressed understand their oppressors far better than the other way around.

I don’t feel Joy Behar is an enemy to the trans community, but she obviously has some phobia issues concerning gender and biological diversity. Also, the producers of The Joy Behar show are just as guilty of irresponsibility because they should have had actual trans people on the November 11th episode to discuss the "T word” slur, not have their issues be colonized by the gay and lesbian community. There are numerous trans specific organizations the producers could have gone to for trans spokespeople, such as the Media Advocates Giving National Equality to Transsexual & Transgender People (MAGNET), Gender Identity Reform, Transgender Law Center, International Foundation for Gender Education (IFGE), etc.

Universal joy in this world will occur when the human race ceases to fear diversity, and instead, celebrates it.

The many trans activists and allies speaking out against the transphobic and dehumanizing messages expressed on The Joy Behar Show last November are challenging a belief system stemmed from fear and ignorance, drawing a line in the sand, calling on others to join in the trans community’s outrage and letting the mainstream and gay and lesbian community know that the silent resignation of the trans community is over!

Back in the 80's, It Was Easier Being A Transsexual

TransGriot Note: Another insightful post from author Pamela Hayes

Back In The 80's, It was Easier Being A Transsexual
by Pamela Hayes

I have been living as a female for over three decades. I was a teen when I started this transsexual journey. In the beginning, the late 70’s and much of the 80’s, life was sweet. I lived as a woman, took my hormones. Eventually had surgery.... I dated. The men knew I was trans. Some of them introduced me to their family members. And friends. I was escorted to company picnics and Christmas parties. I played horse shoes and danced with their colleagues.

Here and there, people would whisper comments about me. I’m tall, and some people accused me of being a female impersonator. Not in those words, mind you. But for the most part, I was not disrespected or treated differently.

Back then, people dismissed the “That‘s a man” accusations. Think about it. We’re talking about the 70’s and 80’s. Facially, I looked female. I had/have breasts and curves. My voice was/is light and feminine. So to accuse the tall striking lady of being a man was considered a ridiculous statement.

I recall one night, in the early days of my journey, a guy and I went partying on a Tuesday night. After leaving the club, we stopped at 7-11 because I was out of soft drinks and I had to put some in the house.

I bought this big bottle of Pepsi, which they called The Boss back then.

Anyway, I went inside. This man looked me up and down. I could tell he appreciated my appearance. We spoke. He told me, I looked and smelled good. He flirted. Tried to get my phone number. He had been conversing with the clerk. It couldn’t have been anything serious if he was coming on to another woman in her presence.

When I was getting The Boss out of the cooler, I heard the clerk whisper that I was a man. “Girl, you crazy,” he said, supposedly sotto voce. “That woman just tall. Ain’t no damn way that’s a man. Your ass is crazy.”

He said goodnight to me and when he wasn’t looking, I winked at her.

The point of that story is to illustrate that back in the day, when a transsexual’s gender was impugned, people didn’t take it seriously. It was dismissed as a silly statement.

But along came the 90’s. And in the 90’s, when Miss Pamela was pelted with the ”That’s a man” accusation, people listened. Stared at me. Put me under a microscope. They wondered if the statement was true.

However, I can honestly say that most people DO NOT treat me differently. I can tell when people have been told things about me or have suspicions. I can see the confusion or skepticism in their eyes. But for the most part, they're cool. A friend, a cis woman. I know she has qualms about me. I can see it in her face. But once a week, I baby-sit her children.

But in the 90’s, trans women like Tula, and the late Jahna Steele hit the talk show circuit and a plethora of lovely t-women followed, confessing to Maury, Sally Jessy, Phil Donahue and the studio and at home audiences, making people realize that just because a woman was pretty didn’t necessarily mean she was born female.

I don’t know if this makes a lick of sense. But I’d bet some veteran trans girls can relate to what I’ve written.

Some Women Love Us, Some Don't

TransGriot Note:  This is a guest post from author Pamela Hayes.  It comes from her undisclosed location somewhere in the USA    

Pam is one of those transwomen that are happily married, gainfully employed transsistahs like her who are living their lives and you don't or won't know about her trans status because it's NOYB.

I hope to have her here at TransGriot on a regular basis


And without further delay, here's Pamela!

Some Women Love Us, Some Don't 
by Pamela Hayes


This afternoon, my cousin Judy dropped by for lunch. Judy is a few years older than I am. But she doesn’t look her age. I have always found her to be fun and a complete source of joy.

We have gone shopping together. Out to lunch. Today, I made lunch for us. I prepared a roasted chicken, Brussels sprouts, which I adore. I love the recipe I use. I sauté the veggies with shallots, add some sage leaves and chicken broth and simmer the sprouts for about twenty minutes. They are flavorful, yummy and nutritious.

I wasn’t sure if Judy was crazy about Brussels sprouts, so I also made zucchini and baby carrots. Just stir-fry the veggies in some olive oil and garlic. They’re terrific.

I also made homemade Rice-A-Roni. So yummy. And simple to make. I break a handful of vermicelli noodles, which I sauté in butter, add converted rice, chicken broth and fresh marjoram, a teaspoon of sea salt and a generous dash of freshly ground pepper and simmer until all the liquid is absorbed. I don’t like using regular rice for this dish because it’s lumpy and gummy and doesn’t look attractive on the plate.

For dessert, which we didn’t have, she bought over hand-packed eggnog and black walnut ice cream from Baskin-Robbins.

Judy and I talked and laughed and listened to the Temptations. Last night, I exchanged emails with a new Face book chum and when discussing music, he mentioned that he was crazy about the Temps, putting me in the mood for them, so I unearthed that CD. Like the title of that Maya Angelou book, Judy and I were singin’ and swingin’ and makin’ merry like Christmas.

We laughed and danced in the living room. I so enjoy spending time with Miss Judy. As a trans woman, I find it difficult to be friends with SOME natal women. Some of them are great, but some are insecure, but they want a girlfriend in their life and they are willing to befriend a trans woman. Because they are less threatened by us. They don’t see us as competition. Or so they say. Everything is marvelous, terrific, magnificent until she discovers that a trans girl can attract men. They get bent when guys request our phone numbers, check us out, flirt with us. “I resent it” is written on their foreheads.

I’ve been friends with women who were wonderful to me. We had lengthy phone chats. Went shopping. I watched their kids. When I sold Mary Kay, they bought some from me. They knew I had a husband and they were okay with that. I think because he is married to me, some natal women considered him a weirdo, an oddball.

Some wondered, what does a handsome, gainfully employed man want with a transsexual. Also, sometimes, if we have men, some women think we’re buying him or he’s a closet gay guy. Or we’ve got some young, impressionable guy under a spell. They find it hard to believe that there are men who care about us, love us, are fascinated by us and take us seriously.

Women have asked my husband and past boyfriends if they knew about me. They assumed that I had pulled the wool over his unsuspecting eyes.

Eons ago, my husband accompanied me to a doctor’s visit. While going over some paperwork with my husband, the doctor’s nurse referred to me as he and him. “Why are you referring to her as he?” my husband asked her. He disclosed this conversation to me, btw.

“Um, well, she had one of those operations,” she said, in a low tone that suggested that she was revealing a secret. “It just slipped out.”

“I bet.. You assumed I didn't know about her,” my husband said. “You’re just jealous because she looks better than you do.” Florence Nightingale was tall, thin, and dorky, so he called her an ugly bitch and a scarecrow. She got seriously pissed and her face got as red as a basket of strawberries. She threw her pen down on the desk, barking, “I don’t have to put up with this.”

I reported her to the Department of Health Professions and HIPPA. The doctor sent me a letter by certified mail discharging me as a patient.

So what? There are other physicians who will gladly accept my co-payment and treat me with respect.

So no, it’s not easy being friends with some women. Some are magnificent, however.