Dear Santa Claus

Santa Claus
1 Santa Claus Lane
North Pole


Dear Santa Claus,
I know you're busy plotting and planning your overnight trip around the planet to deliver Christmas presents and wishes to all the good little children around the globe, but can I have a moment of your time since I haven't written a letter to you since elementary school?
.
There are a few things on my Christmas wish list I'd like to see under my tree like that pair of snakeskin pumps I was checking out on Zappo's website, the flat screen TV,  a pantsuit I was eyeing on the Metrostyle website, a new purse, five numbers plus a Powerball, a few more paid speaking engagements, the left wing to get off President Obama's behind, and all my closest friends to have their wildest dreams come true...

Have I been a good girl?    You've seen how my love life sucks, so yeah, I've been good for most of the year, (but don't listen to those WWBT's or the Religious Right, they never liked me anyway)

But now that I've gotten my requests out of the way, I want to get to the people that this letter is really for,  the trans community that I represent.

I know you've been monitoring the trials and tribulations of our community over the past year.   While some of us deserve the coal we're gonna get in our Christmas stockings, there are a lot of us through no fault of our own that are really struggling this year.   Some of us are no longer on the planet due to anti-trans violence, and some of us have just had an all around jacked up year.
 

So one of the things I'd like to ask for is that for the people who lost loved ones, you ease the pain of their loss.   I'd like the economy to improve so that some of my people can start working again.    I'd also like to ask for ENDA to be passed in this lame duck session so that when the economy does improve, our haters have to give us a fair shot at employment.    I would also like to see Nikki Araguz win her trans marriage case and my Canadian cousins get Bill C-389 passed .    .

I'd also like to ask for more success in the political arena for any trans candidates running for office in 2011 and 2012 and beyond, that we have no trans kids commit suicide in 2011 and in years to come, Tyjanae Moore and all wronged transpeople receive justice, and that the rad fems get a life and Christmas stockings filled with Kentucky coal.

Is there anything else?  That Black transpeople continue taking major steps toward becoming a unified community in 2011, and for all my transpeople to have a blessed and low stress holiday.

Thanks for your time, and may you, Mrs.Claus and the elves have a Merry Christmas and a happy and prosperous New Year. .


Sincerely yours,
Monica Roberts
The TransGriot

PS  Please remind Mom to make another one of her German chocolate pound cakes.

Merry Christmas TransGriot Readers!

I'm in Houston enjoying the holiday with my blood family for the first time since 2000, so unless some serious breaking news warrants me posting about it, I'm taking a well deserved blogging day off.

Merry Christmas to all of my TransGriot readers!

May the toys that say 'some assembly required' get put together by Santa's helpers with minimum drama, may food be plentiful and tasty, may your travels to and from your holiday destinations go smoothly and may you have a stress free and blessed holiday.

Live From Houston-It's Moni!

Hey TransGriot readers!
I'm sitting in the den of my childhood home at my sister's computer. Immediately to my left is the family Christmas tree and the sun is shining brightly.

The weather was sunny and a balmy 70 degrees when I got here, but the cold front is coming.

So yeah, it's all good right now.

Bus trip was interesting and calls out for its own blog post. The Shreveport-Houston leg was an hour late getting me here after doing the tour of East Texas. I did get to knock off one of the things on the Moni H-town To Do List, which was ride the METRORail. I did it in order to make it easier on Mom who picked me up at the Fannin South terminus of the line and it was surprisingly inexpensive at $1.25 (for now). Parking around the bus station was always problematic, and now that the Red Line runs down the middle of Main Street it's even worse.

Seems like I'm not the only person in the family that came back to Houston for the holiday. My cousin Trey is in the Navy and decided to do so with his family. My Aunt Gwen and cousin Zoya who is in the Army got here Monday. Cuz looks good after going through Uncle Sam's Health Club, AKA basic training.

They all hit the house last night along with my cousin Ebonie, who lives in Fort Bend County.

So I chilled at the house with my sis Latoya, Mom and my niece Chanty, who is going to be tall like her aunt Monica. She'll be 10 in a few weeks and is already standing a little over 4 feet. Will pop over to see my dad sometime during the Moni Returns To H-town Holiday Tour.

Of course, getting spoiled by Mom already and started the process of catching up with my H-town peeps and relatives.

On that note, Merry Christmas 'errbody'. Getting ready visit some peeps and I'm counting down until I can start tearing into my mom's legendary German Chocolate pound cake.

Luther-The Mistletoe Jam

Another one of my favorite Christmas songs with soul from Luther Vandross' 'This Is Christmas' album.

Boy do I miss 'Lufer'

Rolling Towards Houston

At this moment my Greyhound bus is pulling out of the Louisville station and heading south on I-65 to start the first leg of my long journey back home to Houston.

It's nonstop to Nashville, TN from Louisville, then I change buses and depart Nashville at 4:25 PM EST to continue south on I-65 to Birmingham, AL.

I change buses again and depart Birmingham at 9:50 PM EST enroute to Shreveport, LA where I make my final bus change and arrive in beautiful downtown Houston at 12:30 PM on December 23.

The best part about it is I'm not doing the driving.

As you TransGriot readers probably guessed I'll be keeping a diary during my journey back to the Lone Star State. If I get access to a computer I'll post as often as I can.

But on Christmas Day, I will definitely be taking the day off ;)

Nat King Cole-The Christmas Song

To me, it isn't Christmas unless I'm hearing this as part of my classic Christmas songs with soul. Enjoy the legendary Nat 'King' Cole

Christmas Podcast Tonight

Renee, Allison and I will be doing a short podcast of our Womanist Musings show at 8 PM EST.

We just wanted to take the time to wish all of you a very Merry Christmas and also introduce you to some of the peeps that make it happen for us.

We also wanted to give you a chance to talk to us as well.

Call in number is 347-326-9452

Going Home For The Holidays

You TransGriot readers know that over the last three months I've been to Philadelphia and Long Island with another trip coming in March to upstate New York.

But this next trip is one I'm really looking forward to.

Thanks to my early Christmas gift from Polar and Dawn, I'm going home for Christmas.

For the first time since 2005 I'll be back in the Houston city limits, and for the first time since 2000 I'll be eating Christmas dinner with my blood family.

This time Greyhound will be doing the 1000 miles of driving down there and back. There's nonstop air service out of Da Vile to Houston but as you probably guessed, the fares were too high.

Either way, it's been a while since I've been back home. The July 2005 trip was for my brother's wedding. I took a few days off from work, rented a car and drove 2000 miles solo round trip through Kentucky, Tennessee, and Mississippi before hooking up with I-10 in Louisiana to what turned out to be a less than pleasant three day weekend for me.

There was drama that transpired a few hours after I arrived in H-town that I had to call people out on up to and including my brother, my new sister-in-law and the parental units. That trip also took place a few weeks before Katrina whacked New Orleans as well

But just like my 2005 trip, it's coming at a time when I've been homesick and really needed a change of scenery. I'm hoping the weather is relatively nice during the week I'm there and running around town.

It's also coming at a crossroads time in my life as well.

I'll have 23 hours to do some hard solid thinking about that. I'm just ready to go home, visit my family and friends and see what's transpired in the Bayou City since I left.

And there's some Creole seasoned chicken on Scott Street calling my name as well.

First Family Lights White House Christmas Tree

Another sign that the Christmas season is upon us. The First Family lighting the White House Christmas tree.

Can A Transsistah Get Some Love This Holiday Season?

It's the start of the Christmas holiday season. From now until January 1 there will be nonstop Christmas music played on the radio airwaves and our favorite Christmas cartoons playing for a new generation of younglings.

We'll have Christmas trees and holiday decorations put up, and we'll endure a tidal wave of holiday themed television commercials seeking to sell us stuff.

Carolers will be out in force singing to old Christmas classics, and the seasonal cry for Peace on Earth and goodwill to your fellow humans will reign supreme.

But if I could sit on Santa's lap and get one Christmas wish granted for the holidays besides new shoes and having a supermodel's body, it would be this:

Can a transsistah get some love this holiday season?

For one month. can me and my transsistahs not hear about another transsistah getting shot, stabbed, killed and added to the Remembering Our Dead List?

Can me and my transisstahs go through this holiday season without being verbally attacked by faith based haters, the Catholic Church, conservative media or conservative Black megachurch preachers?

Can me and my transsistahs go through the holiday season without seeing transphobic comments on the Net every time a positive story highlighting a transperson gets posted?

Can me and my transsistahs go through the holiday season without seeing transphobic commentary from our so called allies as well?

Can a transsistah go through the holiday season without hearing snide comments as we are out and about in public from the willfully ignorant, disapproving family members, or ciswomen wallowing in privilege and disrespectfully declaring that we'll never be 'real' women?

For the holiday season, can me and my transsistahs get our fellow African descended people to open their minds about transpeople, open their hearts and welcome us with open arms into the community instead of denigrating and disrespecting us?

For the holiday season, can you come to the realization that me and my transsistahs are part of the diverse mosaic of human life, and we have much to offer to our various communities?

For the holiday season, can me and my transsistahs just be allowed to live our lives without additional drama?

And if you can manage to do all that and more for the holiday season, can you extend that to 2010 and beyond?

Retailers, Can You Wait Until After Thanksgiving Before Putting Up The Christmas Decorations?

Last week I headed to the Dillard's in Mall St. Matthews to reload my Fashion Fair makeup and get some other items for my upcoming LI trip.

After breathing a sigh of relief that my Pure Brown foundation shade was in stock and successfully procuring it, since I was just down the street I decided to roll over to the other side of the Watterson Expressway and Oxmoor Center.

It's been a little over six months and ten dress sizes since I last saw some of my former Macy's coworkers. I was curious to know not only what was transpiring there but show off the Coke bottle shape as well.

I entered near the center of the mall and as I strolled through the central plaza heading toward the Macy's end I noticed Oxmoor Center maintenance personnel putting up the mall Christmas tree in the middle of the now shut off water fountain.

When I arrived at Macy's, I noticed some Christmas music was being mixed in with the other regular music selections. I also noticed the posters for the Christmas ad campaign were being put up as well.

One of the things that annoys me is the recent recurring trend of retailers trying to get a jump on their make or break sales season by putting Christmas decorations up before we've even gotten Thanksgiving, or in some cases Halloween out of the way. My local Walgreen's had their Christmas stuff up three days after Halloween was over.

I understand it's been a tough year retail wise. The recession has really hurt and taken out some small and large retailers in the process. Even iconic ones are feeling the pinch.

I understand why they're doing it. The retailers are trying to entice consumers into the stores.

But until we consumers get some raised credit limits and cash lining our purses and wallets, won't be much shopping done until we see sales that make it worth our while to spend our limited cash on or we absolutely, positively need that particular item you're selling.

I love the Christmas season as much as anybody, but damn, Thanksgiving hasn't happened yet. Thank God the radio stations at least hold off playing Christmas music until the day after Thanksgiving, or I'd really be muttering 'bah, humbug' under my breath at regular intervals.

We're going to get assaulted with Christmas commercials, music, the sights and sounds of the season for a month. Can you least hold off starting that onslaught of Christmas commercial cheer until I've at least had time to digest my Thanksgiving dinner?

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to all my TransGriot readers around the world! This Christmas season also marks the 40th anniversary of the 1968 Apollo 8 orbital moon mission that produced this famous photo taken on December 24, 1968.

Let's strive to remember in 2009 and beyond that despite the times we fight like cats and dogs with each other, we are still one human family.



We also only have one planet, so let's take care of it. We ain't at Battlestar Galactica technology levels to where we can pack up and move to another one.

Catholic Church Is STILL Hatin' on Transgender People

What the frack is wrong with the old Nazi who's running thangs in the Catholic Church?

Of all the things going wrong in the world these days that he could have taken the time in his Christmas speech to call attention to, he chose to call transgender people a threat to humanity?

But then again, with Paul McHugh, one of the transgender community's longtime haters advising him, I knew that the anti-transgender rhetoric was only going to get progressively worse.

I also have to consider the source of these irrational comments as well. These are the same peeps who 400 years ago persecuted Galileo for daring to suggest that the Earth revolves around the Sun and not the other way around, so it takes a little while for science to catch up with Catholic religious dogma.

Gee, didn't know that transpeople fighting to live their lives around the world was such a threat to a bunch of sexually repressed old men chilling in the Vatican.

You idiots have far more in common with fundie christians than living the actual teachings of Jesus Christ.

Thanks for sharing that message this holiday season, Pope Benedict.

Grandma Just Got Busted In A Drug Deal

TransGriot Note: It's time for another holiday song rewrite! This one was spawned by the news that Sherry Johnston, mother of Levi Johnston and soon to be grandmother of Levi and Bristol Palin's baby boy, was arrested by Alaska State Police in a drug investigation.

This situation was too irresistible not to put in song format, so fire up those iPod's and sing along with the rewritten holiday lyrics.




Grandma Just Got Busted In A Drug Deal
(sung to the tune of 'Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer' by the Irish Rovers)

Grandma just got busted in a drug deal
By Alaska state police before Christmas Eve
Because the other grandma is the governor
Doesn't mean that you'll get a reprieve

She'd been under investigation
For several months as we now know
She'd been selling Oxycontin,
Got busted as she stepped out in the snow.

Bailed her out before Christmas mornin,'
In Wasilla now she's back.
But next month grandma's got a court date
And the DA won't be cutting her any slack

Grandma just got busted in a drug deal
By Alaska state police before Christmas Eve
Because the other grandma is the governor
Doesn't mean that you'll get a reprieve

Now we're all concerned for Levi
He's probably not takin' this so well.
He's been working in the North Slope oil fields
And he's probably hollerin' 'what the hell?'


Bristol's had her baby shower
She's due any day now that's a fact
And we just can't help but wonder:
If Grandma Sarah thinks the situation's wacked?
(Yes, it's wacked)

Grandma just got busted in a drug deal
By Alaska state police before Christmas Eve
Because the other grandma is the governor
Doesn't mean that you'll get a reprieve

Grandma Sarah didn't call a press conference
But she took pains to enunciate
Through a government media spokesperson,
'This isn't a matter of Alaska state'.

So there it is my friends and neighbors.
A story as bizarre as it can be
It's a perfect holiday example
Of conservative family values and hypocrisy

Grandma just got busted in a drug deal
By Alaska state police before Christmas Eve
Because the other grandma is the governor
Doesn't mean that you'll get a reprieve
(Sing it, Sarah)

Grandma just got busted in a drug deal
By Alaska state police before Christmas Eve
Because the other grandma is the governor
Doesn't mean that you'll get a reprieve

2008 Bardstown Aglow

Today marks the 23rd anniversary of one of Louisville favorite events, Bardstown Aglow. From dusk until 10 PM many of the merchants, restaurants and shops along Bardstown Rd in the Highlands neighborhood open their doors for holiday fun, discounts and other assorted events to celebrate the return of the Christmas season.

Some of the churches in that strip also have events as well, and for the second straight year my church, Edenside Christian, as part of their Bardstown Aglow program asked me to put on my DJ hat again and play Christmas songs with soul.

As always they had hot coffee, apple cider, lemonade and cookies for people to snack on. In the church basement it was set up so that people could create Christmas cards for us to send to our troops abroad.

Edenside will also be celebrating the 100th anniversary in March in that particular building.

So yesterday I walked into my fave music store, the Doo Wop Shop to rent my DJ equipment from them. They have a great rental rate and if I so choose, I can convert it if I like the DJ setup into a monthly payment plan until I pay it off.

This was however, my first visit since the fire a few months ago, and while it looks the same on the outside, I almost didn't recognize the place on the inside. The same friendly, helpful staff got me registered on their new computer system, helped me select the components I needed, tested them and got me on my way in just under an hour. Once I got the equipment home I set it up and started practicing to get familiar with the equipment setup and rehone my DJ skills.

My DJ turn actually got off to a rocky start. I had the equipment set up and plugged into my roomie's power strip I'd borrowed, but I didn't know it was about to die. It would pick that moment to give up the electronic ghost.

After coming up with an alternate solution and additional cords the power problem was resolved and music began playing until 10 PM EST. I've got the equipment until next Friday, so I'm going to play with it for a few days before I turn it in and get my deposit back.

I had fun once again spinning Christmas tunes and I'm looking forward to next year.

Merry Christmas, Y'all

To my family, friends and loyal TransGriot readers, Merry Christmas!



Enjoy one of my fave Christmas songs by Alexander O'Neal, Remember Why (It's Christmas)


May your dinner come out perfectly, you get most of what you want under the tree, don't forget the reason for the season and have a happy, healthy, mostly stress-free and prosperous New Year.



Oh yeah, only 314 more days to Election Day!

The Christmas Assembly

Every time I hear the song Angels We Have Heard On High during the holidays, I start chuckling to myself and my mind drifts back to a Christmas assembly during my junior year of high school.

It was a JJ tradition to have the band and choir perform a Christmas concert just before we departed the school for winter break. The Mattel electronic football games were the ultra hot toy at the time and some of my friends already had them. Although I didn't know it at the time, I'd be getting one of my own in a few days. Mine was wrapped under the tree along with the Mattel electronic basketball for my brother. (We failed to find the hiding place in the house for our Christmas gifts that year)

My high school served breakfast in the morning, so we congregated inside the cafeteria before school started, especially during the winter months. (yes, Houston has winter weather)

That morning I'd been playing a game with James McCulloch. He was beating me badly before the opening school bell put a premature end to the electronic butt whipping he was administering.

That assembly happened after we got out of homeroom around second period, so as we were filing into the school auditorium we bumped into each other and grabbed seats together in the back.

The concert was turning out to be a long one, so James whips out his game and challenges me to play. He thought he was going to repeat the butt kicking he administered earlier that morning, but I had a new trick for him and decided to play ball control instead of the aggressive pass-happy style I normally employed.


The game makes loud noises when you score either a touchdown or a field goal and a double beep noise at the end of the half or the game. So in order to not be detected and have the game confiscated we used the cover of the concert to play.

We start playing, this is a tight game and so far so good. We're being careful to make sure that much of our game playing coincides with either the choir or band performances. The band is playing loud enough during their segments where no one more than five rows away from us suspects what we're up to. We're also benefitting from the fact that the auditorium is dark except for the stage lights and the couple sitting next to us is more concerned about kissing each other (no mistletoe required) rather than being annoyed about our titanic electronic football battle.

It's in the fourth quarter of the game and we're tied. I decide to try to eat up the entire quarter while scoring the touchdown that would win the game for me. So as I'm concentrating on the game the choir starts singing Angels We Have Heard On High.

I'm so focused on killing the clock and timing my drive so that I score with no time left that I'm not noticing that Mr. Addison (the then choir director) is directing the choir to sing the song softly at a low volume. Just as the choir gets to the 'Gloria' part of the song, I score and the double beep sound reverberates over the entire auditorium.

I look up and see our principal Mr. Pace and the assistant principals Mr. Henry and Ms. Broussard craning their necks from the front row along with several teachers trying to ascertain where the noise came from. They'd confiscated a bunch of them over the last two months and knew exactly what that sound was. They also knew at that moment some electronic shenanigans were going on somewhere in the auditorium. I see to my horror Mr. Henry get up from his seat with a not too pleasant expression on his face to begin his search and confiscate mission.

Fortunately for us when I scored the game was over. I quickly handed James his game with a satisfied smirk on my face as he put it away in his jacket pocket before Mr. Henry reached our section of the auditorium a few moments later. We were also fortunate we weren't ratted out by our fellow Falcons, otherwise we would have been spending a few minutes in the Principal's office.

But hey, I beat him. And James, if you're reading this, if you still have that game I hereby challenge you to a rematch at our reunion in 2010.